Unless you live in a cave, you’ve probably seen the outrage over the Play Doh cake making set that contained a piece that looked very much like a penis. The general public does not seem to grasp how many things all around us are phallic. Parents were outraged that their little ones were frosting Play Doh cakes with a contraption that looked like it was shooting fondant jiz in slow-mo. Ha. Parents: they’re funny.
This is the offending piece. Really? Is that the best we can do? There are plenty of other things to clutch your pearls over, parents. It turns out toy developers are perverts. Either that, or making things for children that don’t look like penises is really, really hard to do.
1. ET Finger Light
Hello child! Would you like a replica of an elderly, uncircumcised penis to light your way at night? Of course you would!
2. Dora Cake Pan
Um… I hope you’re really good at frosting this thing, because the way I see it — no way is this cake not just going to look like a giant dick and balls.
3. Happy Sailor Gummy Lighthouses
“Happy Sailor” is really the brand. I did not make that up.