If You Don’t Let A Pregnant Woman Use Your Restaurant’s Bathroom You’re An A**hole

restroom-signA neighborhood restaurant in D.C. denied a pregnant woman (who was not a paying customer) use of their bathroom last weekend. She took to a local neighborhood blog to complain about it and got berated by most of the people on the forum. I’m on her side. Denying a pregnant woman use of a bathroom is a mean thing to do. Have some common decency.

…I was shocked by The Heights’ response to me asking to use their restroom last Saturday during a trip to the farmers’ market. No, I wasn’t patronizing the place – I do go there often enough, but I don’t think being a regular is the issue. The issue is honoring and accommodating mothers-to-be. I respectfully asked the hostess if I could use the restroom (I wanted to tell her that I did go around 4 times before I left my home, but that I drank a lot of water because I had calf cramps…but decided that was TMI). The hostess asked me if I was sitting outside on their patio and when I said no, she gave me a fake “I’m so sorry.” I was in such disbelieve that I just mumbled, “are you kidding me?” before walking out.

Lesson to all pregnant women who need to use the bathroom in an establishment where they are not a paying customer: act like you are meeting someone there, walk right in, and make a beeline to the facilities. Problem solved.

I consider myself a reasonable person. Whenever one of these stories pops up about mothers complaining about their treatment at a private place of business, barring breastfeeding shaming I usually take the side of the establishment. Having been in the service industry for years, I know rules exist for a reason and the general public usually doesn’t understand those reasons and makes a big deal out of nothing. But I’m sorry, denying a pregnant woman access to your bathroom because she’s not a paying customer is just dumb.

The restaurant is busy, they may have limited facilities and need to keep them free for paying customers – but let’s not pretend that a landslide of pregnant women are going to descend on the restaurant and inconvenience their paying guests. Sometimes it’s necessary to use some judgment rather than robotically follow rules.

The commenters in the forum think she’s acting with a sense of entitlement by expecting to be allowed to use the restroom:

Why should anyone have to “accommodate” you just because you’re pregnant? It’s not like you’re disabled. I’m sorry, but having children or being pregnant doesn’t make you more special than the rest of us. This type of entitled thinking is what really grates me about some parents (or parents-to-be as it is).

Literally 99% of the human female population that survived to adulthood over thousands of years has been pregnant at some point in their lives. It doesn’t make you special or deserving of any additional accommodation, sorry. Also, calling yourself a “desperate” pregnant woman is a pretty big stretch. There are many places you could have used the bathroom within a one-block radius, why did you spend time arguing when you could have just gone somewhere else?

I’m sorry, what? The “entitlement police” are getting more annoying than any pregnant woman out there. I understand where the entitlement-rage comes from – a lot of people acting like jerks have ruined it for everyone. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t expect to be treated with common decency and kindness. D.C. is a city. Any woman who has been pregnant in the city knows that the frequent need to use the restroom is a nightmare. Waddling around with an eight-pound weight pushed up against your bladder is not fun. Businesses that act tone-deaf to the fact that these woman may need a little extra kindness are making bad business decisions.

There were several nice establishments in my neighborhood in Brooklyn that I visited with some regularity. Had I walked in when I was pregnant and was denied use of the bathroom, I would have thought it was a jerk move, too. This woman took to a part of a local blog that exists for complaints like this, so I don’t think it’s obnoxious. People hate to hear others voice that they think they are “entitled” to anything – but in this case, I think she’s right.

Let a pregnant woman use the bathroom, for God’s sake.

(photo: photospublicdomain)

You can reach this post's author, Maria Guido, on twitter.
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    • keelhaulrose

      Sorry, but I’m siding with the restaurant, because this is a prime example of something that will turn into a slippery slope. If they let in pregnant women, then they should let in families with small children because kids can’t hold it as easily. And probably disabled persons because it’s not as easy for them to walk to another. In the end they’d be running a public restroom. Which is more money and more work for the staff.

      • PAJane

        And the elderly. And the guy with the sprained ankle. And, and, and…
        It wasn’t a restaurant, but I worked retail in a common vaca town with a ton of foot traffic. We had a tiny bathroom that also served as our stock room, and we had a strict staff-only rule. People gave us massive amounts of shit about it, but if we made one exception, everyone else would want one, too. So, we redirected them to the public bathrooms all of 50 feet away.
        Gotta pee? The best questions is, “Where can I find a bathroom?” That way the staff (who are just doing what they’re told to) can redirect you to whatever place is friendly to drop-in pissers.

      • momma425

        Agreed. I totally side with the restaurant.

        I’ve been pregnant, and you know what? I didn’t expect everyone and everything around me to “honor” my presence. I didn’t go to random restaurants that I was not eating at and demand that the staff there let me use their restrooms. Somehow, as an adult, I always was able to hold it (yes, even while pregnant) until I got home, or was able to plan ahead with my bathroom usage, or was able to find a public restroom. It’s really not that hard.

      • ted3553

        I never really understood why people think that when you’re pregnant, you should get to cut lines at the grocery store or lose your mind about someone who doesn’t have a kid parking in the parent and child parking and so on. It’s not a damn disability, you’re just pregnant like hundreds of millions of women before you.

      • Jessifer

        Agreed. BUT, cutting in front of pregnant lady or family is not cool. I was at the grocery store with my son and spouse and my son was really starting to fuss while we were standing in the express lane patiently waiting our turn. The sign said 1 to 16 items and we had maybe 12. Some douche behind us had the nerve to rudely say to us “Are you kidding me? I’ve got only 1 item here, you can let me go first”. I gave him the biggest stink eye I’ve ever given someone in my entire life!

      • Liberty

        Is there a reason you couldn’t have the good manners to allow him to go first before he said anything? I mean, it’s rude to demand it but everyone can be polite.

      • Jessifer

        I would normally extend the courtesy, depending on the situation. But in this case I didn’t because A) I didn’t even realize he was behind me nor how many items he had; and B) My kid was starting to throw a fit so I wanted to get out as quickly as possible; and C) When he actually did ask us, he did it in an extremely rude manner. Had he simply said “I only have one item and I’m already running late, do you mind if I go ahead?”, I would have probably said yes. If you talk to people in that manner, don’t be surprised if they choose not to bend over backwards.

      • brebayVadgeBadge

        Well, cutting isn’t cool, pregnant or not, but letting someone with one item go ahead is pretty much just like holding a door. I thought everyone did this.

      • jane

        My (bachelor) uncle said to me right after the birth of my daughter “Ah, boldly going where millions have gone before.” I find that line very helpful to keep in mind no matter what stage of parenting I am in.

      • KatDuck

        I’ve worked at a similar place and 99% of people were fantastic – they’d ask if we had a restroom and I’d point them to the nearest public one and everyone was fine. The 1%, however, made for some stories.

        Not my worst by a long, long shot, but one older women would NOT go to the recommended one because “they don’t keep it clean,” even though every time I’ve used it there was someone in there doing maintenance. Meanwhile ours was being used as extra storage and hadn’t been cleaned in 9+ months. I told her I was flattered by her perception of our own restroom but she was far better off at the other one. Took a couple iterations but she finally got the hint.

      • PAJane

        Also just not that compelling of an argument for me to break the rules for you. A lot of public bathrooms are gross. That’s why you learn to hover.

      • Coco

        Agreed. Pregnancy does not equal free pass.
        But I also agree with Maria and the “pretend you’re meeting someone” thing or “if I act like I belong, they’ll think I belong”. I serve part-time and I honestly don’t think we have a “patrons only” policy but if I see a guy come in the front door and head straight for the basement where the bathrooms are, I’m not going to chase him down….

      • AE Vorro

        This is true. I mean, I probably would have let it slide, but there is a reason restaurants have this policy. Why didn’t the lady just order a beverage and use the bathroom? Don’t most people do that? I mean, it’s not ideal to have to spend money to pee, but in a pinch…

      • CrazyFor Kate

        Yup. Either the washroom is customers only or the washroom is open. Nothing in between.

    • jerseygirl17

      She lost me with “The issue is honoring and accommodating mothers-to-be.” Honoring, really? And I say that as someone who was pregnant with twins less than 6 months ago.

      Next it will be “well I have a kid! My kid can’t hold it, let me use your restroom!”

      • chickadee

        Oh no…she is pregnant with twins. She is going to have massive cloud of entitlement surrounding them after they are born. She will need so much help and accommodation because she has TWO and it’s super-hard….which it is! But most moms don’t expect people to go out of their way for you and are grateful for extra help or attention.

      • Jennie Blair

        She needs to get a firm grasp on reality, no one cares that you are pregnant expect maybe the one who helped you get that way.

      • Spongeworthy

        I have to agree. Talking about “honoring” mothers-to-be just chaps my ass. They’ll honor you at your baby shower. The outside world owes you nothing.

      • Mystik Spiral

        “She lost me with “The issue is honoring and accommodating mothers-to-be.”"

        Haha, I was JUST going to say the same thing. Puh-lease.

      • Joye77

        I can’t believe that she actually posted on a neighborhood blog that she felt special accommodations should be made for her. Can we say entitled?

      • CrazyFor Kate

        It’s not something worth honouring, at least in strangers. Billions of people have done it. It’s special to YOU and your loved ones, but absolutely no one else.

    • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      I mean…it’s D.C…she couldn’t find a convenience store or something? I do find her attitude entitled. I know it sucks not to be able to find somewhere to pee when pregnant (I was stuck on a particularly long backroad once and wound up finally using the woods), but…I just don’t see this as the restaurant’s problem. This isn’t an uncommon policy. Hell, I remember on prom night, driving across town from where my friend and I had had dinner, and stopping at a Church’s Chicken because we needed to pee. I don’t know whether their restrooms were for customer use only, but we walked out with milkshakes, because I’m a pushover and can’t imagine using the facilities and not at least buying something. ;)

      • Andy

        Plus milkshakes are delicious, so there’s that (coming from the woman who just went low carb in an effort to ditch the baby weight).

      • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

        They really are. It’s one of my favorite teenage memories, standing there in our finery getting our shakes. ;)

    • Liz

      Ok, so I looked up this restaurant, and there’s a Target like 2 feet away. She really couldn’t have just gone there?

      • jerseygirl17

        But how does she make herself look like a victim that way? You can’t properly honor a pregnant woman by making her use a common, dirty Target bathroom.

      • guest

        Target is for commoners.

      • hdonovan

        Dishonored commoners.

      • brebayVadgeBadge

        She’s too rich for Target but too poor to buy a soda in the restaurant. Meh…she’ll be bitching about people not accommodating her baby, her toddler, her kid, her grown child…

      • CollateralDamage

        I was just going to say this. I live in NoVA, I’m in DC all the time. There is a HUGE Target across the street from this place. And they have bathrooms right in the front of the store, how convenient!

      • ted3553

        I pee all the time even when not pregnant so I plan around when I think I’ll need to pee and make sure there’s somewhere I can go like a target, or fast food place. I really would never think about going in to a restaurant where I wasn’t eating to use the washroom. She could be annoyed but then she could have just walked next door.

      • hdonovan

        Maybe the Target greeter was at lunch and there would be no one there to HONOR her?

    • chickadee

      This woman’s complaint rubs me the wrong way, particularly since she starts talking about needing to be ‘honored’ and ‘accommodated’ because of her pregnancy. I knew where all of the pee places were –PARTICULARLY IN MY CLOSE-KNIT, GOOD-VIBE NEIGHBORHOOD (words she used in her complaint)– anytime I went out in public while pregnant.

      • jerseygirl17

        When I was 8 months pregnant with my boys, my husband and I went to the movies. I knew it was a really long movie and I’d be drinking a gallon-sized lemonade with my bucket of popcorn, so I pre-ordered aisle seats towards the back a few days ahead of time. Being pregnant comes with some challenges but in most cases a little planning goes a long way.

      • Jennie Blair

        Totally agree, 10 minutes if planning ahead saves a world of headache later

      • jane

        Wait, you have assigned seating at your movie theater? Tell me more about this, please.

      • jerseygirl17

        Yup, all the AMC theaters in this area have been changing over to assigned seating and all the chairs are recliners.

      • guest

        Our AMCs have this too and it is the best thing ever. I pick out my seats online and when you get there you basically have your own reclining sofa (if you put the cupholder up) and are separated from the people next to you. Geniuses.

      • CrazyFor Kate

        This is pretty popular in Europe, too!

      • Alexandra

        This makes me almost willing to go to another movie in Europe. Getting into a movie theater in Europe is like war – take no prisoners. They do not BELIEVE in lines at all.

      • CrazyFor Kate

        This was Finland (and France, if my French class textbook is to be believed), so maybe you were in a country where, er, queueing up is a bit of a novelty?

    • Jen TheTit Whipper

      I’m going to have to side with the restaurant. How can you tell a woman is pregnant? Then the restaurant has to let kids of non paying customers use the restroom and then on and on it goes. If the policy of the restaurant is no public restrooms, it’s no public restrooms. Even if you’re pregnant. Though I am confused if she’s been there before why it would occur to her to ask, I probably would have just walked in and gone to the restroom.

      • WhoremonalCrazyLotusSlugalo

        Loving the new suffix.

      • Jen TheTit Whipper

        Blame Fondue. ;)

      • Fondue

        I’ll take the blame and any punishment that might come with it.

      • WhoremonalCrazyLotusSlugalo

        I’m bummed that I missed whatever fabulous discourse led to this.

      • Jen TheTit Whipper

        Check the Anthropologie post…lol

    • Jennie Blair

      I’m 7 months pregnant and still manage to hold it, never used preggo parking (the doctor says walk and really I’m not disabled just fatter than normal), and have never expecting anything because I got pregnant by choice. I expect my husband help me off the floor if he is near by and my doctor to actually care what’s going on but that’s it.

    • Angie S

      If it were me, I would buy something just to use the restroom. Or give them 5 bucks or something. But I try not to rock the boat most of the time over the small things like having to pee.

    • ALE515

      I never dealt with having to pee often when I was pregnant, but If I did I wouldn’t expect a restaurant or store to accommodate me. If I saw the customers only sign I’d buy something or find another place!

    • WhoremonalCrazyLotusSlugalo

      Thankfully, I never had this issue when I was prego, but I really feel like it depends on the circumstances. If she walked in there, all “step aside, my highness is in need of a pee depository”, then folks are likely to feel a little chaffed and less than obliging. Given the words “honor” and “accommodating” as if they owed her something… Just a hunch, but my bet is on her being a bit of a Twatwaffle© (one of you lovely ladies owns the rights to that). If I ever really needed to public pee, I just asked using the most humble approach because it usually isn’t a business’s policy to allow non-paying customers to use the loo.

    • NIGHTHAVEN

      LOL this makes me laugh yes it is a pain in the ass to be preg and have to pee it sucks but how is someone suppose to know if your preg say 3 mo? women use this as an excuse if it is the restaurant policy (not that I agree with them) but it is a policy. Also as someone with a visabile disabily I have also been denied access to a bathrrom. I bought a .25 cent cookie went pee and filed out a complaint card…. not that it ever changed but as she said she has in the past been a repete costomer so buy a coffee? or find a local donut shop or walmart

      • KaeTay

        regardless of being pregnant if someone REALLY needs to go.. you should let them go. I have a prolapse from having my daughter. That means my organs are out of place and it has more weight on my bladder for instance.. so I have bathrooms emergencies at times. Although typically i would buy something quickly.. sometimes you just need to go and you should be a good person and let the person go. At my first job I would hangout and watch the door while people used the non public restroom. It’s really no big deal and takes less than 2 minutes.

      • Jen TheTit Whipper

        But as with all things: how do you know they NEED to go? Every time I had someone come in to use the restroom it was “I NEED to go” complete with the pee dance. And how is the other person supposed to know you have a prolapsed bladder and gotta pee? If it’s not a public restroom or is for paying customers only, it is what it is. You can’t make an exception for you or the pregnant lady and articulately explain why your need was greater than another persons.

      • Alanna Jorgensen

        I worked in a place that you had to be buzzed in to the main restaurant and pass by a 500 degree oven, a 200 degree heat rack with a tiny area to pass through a million delivery drivers trying to bag up their runs and leave, all between the front door and the restroom. It was flat out unsafe and no one who was not with the company was to be buzzed in ever. Even if it was slow. I STILL had people freak out because I wouldn’t let them in. If the giant plastic wall with the mag lock door and a tiny pass through window was not indication enough that our restroom was not public then it’s clear that nothing will deter people from acting entitled.

    • noelle 02

      Ordinarily, I’d agree with the restaurant, but pregnant women needing to pee is a true need. I am very conservative, but I strode into a sex toys shop/see naked women live and was graciously allowed to use their restroom. I was desperate enough that I’d have become a paying customer if needed, but my beet red husband trying to find a safe place to look after insisting on going in the store just made staff and customers chuckle and they said there was no need. Pregnant women don’t need seats on subways or close parking, but baby bouncing on bladder means toilets are a legitimate need!

      • Klept

        Um, for some pregnant women getting a seat on a long ride is a “legitimate need” maybe moreso than some women’s bouncing bladders. Each person is different whether is be crappy bladders or the inability to stand for long periods of time without dropping like a sack of potatoes.

    • KaeTay

      When I worked at a pharmacy, my first job we had an only employee restroom, no public restroom. I would still let children and emergency situations use it. Sometimes you really need to use your judgement as an human being

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      Public pay-for-use toilets would solve all of this. I am completely serious. They have them in other countries and it is awesome.

      • Fondue

        My husband has IBS and I could imagine him shitting himself during a frantic search to find a quarter in his pocket to open the door.

      • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

        In that situation, one must always have the quarter at the ready!

      • Aldonza

        I loved the pay-for-use toilets in Paris. Well maintained and got rid of pocket change :)

    • valcl

      This is what I love, love, love, about living in my “third world” country. People are accommodating; they understand that having small children, or being pregnant, is temporary, and there is a very “today for you, tomorrow for me” mentality. They will give up subway seats for you, and let you skip lines at the airport and the bank, and generally try to be helpful. When I travel to the US, it’s every person for him/herself and I find it so depressing.

      • KaeTay

        what country do you live in?

      • CMJ

        I am sorry, maybe I am just an asshole American, but why should a pregnant woman be allowed to cut in front of me at the airport or bank?

        And I always give up my BART seat to pregnant women…but I don’t understand the cutting in line thing.

      • Fondue

        Yep, the plane isn’t going to take off any quicker for a pregnant lady than for anyone else, so I don’t get that either.

      • Véronique the Attachment Shark

        Travelling as a pregnant lady, it’s the staff at the airports that would come and find me and bring me to the front of the line!!!! And that gave me upgrades for better seats in the plane :). But the thing is that I never asked for it, nor did I try to cut in line.

      • CrazyFor Kate

        I’ve only heard of pregnant women being allowed on early for pre-boarding, which makes some sense, although no one pays attention to pre-boarding anyway so I’m not sure how big a difference it makes.

      • Valcl

        I’m not saying they should, I’m saying they do. And I feel it’s because there is a more communal feeling to having kids, in which people try to make you more comfortable when you’re pregnant or with young kids because they know it’s tiring, maybe? Whereas in the US, which I love, people are not jerks, they just ignore you, and the contrast is exhausting. I know I got myself into this mess, but having to stand in immigration for two hours after a 10 hour flight while pregnant and with a bored toddler… It’s much, much worse than when I travel on my own. And if I’m on my own, I will gladly let all of the pregnant women, people with sprained ankles, etc, go to the front and I will gladly wait ten minutes more for my turn.
        Didn’t mean to be rude, it’s just so different sometimes. And believe me, the US is much better at many things than my little country…

      • Liberty

        Did someone force you to travel through customs while pregnant and with a toddler? It’s not up to anyone else to make your trip go well or fast. Do you understand how often childless people have to wait around for far longer just because parents demand and get special treatment? We’re weary and travel-exhausted and ready to get home or to the hotel or wherever, too, and we have to sit around while you let your child scream and shout as you get special treatment. It’s just not very fun for everyone.

      • Valcl

        So you’re agreeing with me, because that is exactly the vibe I get in the US: no one cares. That’s fine, I was just trying to share that it’s different in my culture. And hey, I never demanded anything. And I was childless for 30+ years, I remember traveling without one too.

      • Jen TheTit Whipper

        Being pregnant isn’t a pass to do things faster than the rest of us.

      • whiteroses

        I was six months pregnant in Korea, and can I tell you how many cabs I got stolen from me? And about the fact that when I was in Australia with my son, someone tried to steal my diaper bag?

        I’m sorry, but you don’t get a free pass to act like a precious princess because you’re pregnant, I don’t care what country you’re in. I give my seat on the DC metro (when I go) to pregnant women and the elderly. But honestly, there are idiots everywhere you go, and it’s really stupid to paint everyone in a single country with the same brush.

      • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

        All the things you have mentioned have happened to me, in the US. Sorry, but there are jerks everywhere.

    • Fondue

      Her entitlement attitude does suck. “Honor”? Oh, please! However, I never understood the pregnant woman and peeing thing until it happened to me. My baby enjoys using my bladder as her personal trampoline. I can go from perfectly fine to “OMFG, I’ve never had to pee so badly in my life and it huuuuuurts,” in 1.5 seconds flat. I will never, ever, ever NOT let a pregnant woman ahead of me in line in the ladies room again. Unless, of course, she’s waving her entitlement flag. ;)

    • BethAZ1987

      At 9 months pregnant, as much as I understand the “omg, gotta go NOW” issue, I always manage to make it to a Target or other store with a public restroom.

      I used to work in a small retail store (i.e., 5 employees total) where we’d let customers use our private bathroom – and we had to change the policy because of how disgusting people would leave it. As much as I can sympathize with needing to go, I’m not down with cleaning explosive shit off the walls and floor.

      • hdonovan

        What IS that with people using retail restrooms. I used to work at a Woolworths (yes, I’m that old) and there were pubic restrooms. I never saw it but heard from the “porters” (2 high school boys) that shit on the walls and CEILING were a “thing.” Do people “save up” so they can do that in the stores?

      • Kathryn Mackenzie

        I was a cleaner in a food hall in my early 20s. I’d go into the toilets to clean them, I’d find pads stuck blood side down on the cubicle wall, instead of in the sanitary bin, pee on the floors (in the women’s bathrooms), and for some reason, at least once a day, I’d find that someone had removed the entire roll of toilet paper, and shoved it into the toilet bowl.
        The women’s toilets were always worse than the men’s.

    • Lindsey

      If you know it is a paying customer’s restroom only, buy something. It’s that simple.

    • Lisa Walker

      I do side with the restaurant but some of the commenters on there sound like the same pricks that would cut in front of me in the bathroom lineup when I was 7 months pregnant and say ‘oh I just can’t hold it’. Oh, I didn’t know that a fetus was dancing gangam style on your bladder too! My bad!

      • Mystik Spiral

        Cutting in front of someone in a line is rude no matter WHAT the state of any uteruses involved. Uteri? Uterati?

      • klept

        I’m trying to figure out how someone says that to a pregnant woman with a straight face. I would kick the stall door in and remove their bare ass from the seat so I could go.

      • CrazyFor Kate

        To be fair, they could have some kind of bladder disorder or something too. Still not an excuse to cut, though.

    • jane

      Littleist violin playing over here.

      Sometimes you have to pee, but you gotta hold it. I could tell you about a time I was stuck in traffic on the Tappan Zee bridge and I thought I was going to die of a ruptured bladder. I bet there were pregnant women stuck on that bridge too. They figured it out.

      This complaint is asinine.

      • Spongeworthy

        Ooh, been there done that on the Tappan Zee! One time I was stuck on there for almost 2 hours because of a truck accident. I was very happy that I had an empty DD coffee cup and no one could see into my car :/

      • http://facebook.com/guineverew Guinevere

        Many pregnant women cannot hold their urine. News at 11.

      • Rachel Sea

        And that is why diapers were invented.

    • Maria

      I find “I’m meeting a friend, I think I’ve beaten them here. I’ll wait until they’re here to get a table. *wait a second* I’m just going to run to the ladies room..*pee* *walk out* (or waddle, depending) Taa-da!

    • Véronique the Attachment Shark

      I just don’t get how not being allowed to go to the bathroom when pregnant becomes such a national debate!! Why the hell did this woman work herself into such a tizzy that she (like so many others) felt the need to bitch and moan online in order to garner sympathy?

      I get that she could be frustrated. I used to go pee 1000 times a day while pregnant too!! But if someone was being a douchewad and not let me go to the bathroom, I would just bitch to my partner and go somewhere else.

      Or here’s a solution: walk up to a waiter, ask if it would be possible to order a soda. Then, while you wait, go use the bathroom. Come back, receive soda, pay for soda, walk out of restaurant. The end. Everyone’s happy – you have an empty bladder, and the restaurant had a paying customer use the bathroom.

      • brebayVadgeBadge

        That’s a good solution, be sure to have a couple bucks on hand when walking around pregnant, it’s not like you have to order a 4-course meal.

    • Va

      I’m pregnant. That doesn’t entitle me to any bathroom I choose. That’s why I keep an eye out for chains, they rarely have a problem with anyone using their bathroom. Me choosing to reproduce does not equal me being queen of the world.

    • Spitting_mad

      At my old work, we didn’t have a public bathroom at all. We had two private bathrooms in the back room. We turned a lot of people away. The only three people we led to the back were pregnant women, small children (with their parents, and not babies), and the elderly.
      We didn’t have to, but those are the three types of people who most commonly are in an emergency situation and NEED a toilet.

    • Joye77

      Forever and ever these establishments have had a policy for bathrooms to be used by patrons only. That’s the way it is, no exceptions. There have been times where I bought a stinkin’ drink that I didn’t want just so I could use the bathroom. Why didn’t she buy something cheap so she could be a patron?

      • brebayVadgeBadge

        Yeah, the downtown area in my city has spent millions re-furbishing itself and has a pretty strict “customers only” bathroom rule. To be honest, it would essentially be like the YMCA down there without the rule, and that’s what the public library is for. It would have been nice, but employees are in kind of a bind if they “bend” a rule for one person and not another.

    • http://confessionsof.com/ Jezebeelzebub

      “I understand where the entitlement-rage comes from – a lot of people acting like jerks have ruined it for everyone. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t expect to be treated with common decency and kindness.”

      That right there… yep. One bad apple and all that.

    • Rachel Sea

      Not letting a heavily pregnant woman use a customer restroom is a dick move, but it’s less dickish than being affronted that a business isn’t honoring your fertility.

    • rrlo

      I dunno… I don’t think it’s a big deal for the restaurant to let the pregnant woman use their bathroom. It is hard to hold your pee when pregnant. Restaurants are in the hospitality business, and allowing potential customers – obviously in need – seems like a good move to me.
      Having said that, this particular pregnant person is a bit to irate by this situation. “Honoring” her pregnancy sounds so ridiculous.

    • Picklejar

      Good Grief! We live in a society with *degrees* of murder – and yet, we should be unbending on something as meaningless as a Restroom Rule? There should be some discretion allowed. After all, if you kill in self-defense, you aren’t punished. Fat with Child? NOPE, can’t let you in the restroom! Oh, that murder was spontaneous, not planned? Lighter sentence. I see you have an entire human sitting on your bladder. Tough TITTIES, sucker! Get a colostomy bag if you have to go that badly. When I was pregnant, I certainly didn’t expect people to cater to me – but I sure did appreciate it when they took my condition into consideration, and were KIND to me.

    • CMP414

      I’m 9 months pregnant so I feel this lady’s pain. When I am out and about I make sure I know places where there are public restrooms. If I go to a McDonald’s or something I just purchase a beverage which totally means I will have to pee again soon but problem solved in the moment. No muss, no fuss. The world owes you nothing pregnant or otherwise.

    • Oliver

      Move to my state, we just plain don’t have public restrooms unless it’s a fast food place.

    • Coffee&Cats

      I don’t know. I don’t see it as a big deal. The restaraunt can choose whether or not to allow someone to use their bathroom or not. It sounds like they dont let anyone who isn’t a customer use them, pregnant or not. I don’t think that pregnancy should entitle you to special treatment. It’s not a disability.

    • Awa Adams

      I don’t get what the big deal is. Being heavily pregnant for me meant being a sneeze away from peeing myself pretty much 24/7. Not saying I don’t get that rules are rules, just that it’s a dumb rule. Overall, having worked in the service industry, I’ve never seen a “private” public restroom that was cleaner than a regular public restroom. Spending money in someone’s establishment isn’t apt to snap someone nasty out of their naturally-filthy habits and make them neater or more considerate.

    • hdonovan

      I see nothing wrong with her asking, and yes, it would have been nice if she had been allowed to use the restroom. However, her going online and expressing her “shock” and saying that the “issue is about honoring mothers-to-be” moves her into the entitled category. Also, was “Honor Me” in any worse situation than a dad with blow-out baby, a mother with a potty training toddler, or an elderly woman whose 3.8 kids from 40 years ago damaged her waterworks? Plenty of nice people have valid reasons to request an accommodations that are equal or even more valid (illness that causes that emergency to be completely unexpected) than being pregnant.

    • Liberty

      Those commenters are spot on. No one is entitled to use the bathroom of a private business when not purchasing something at that business, even pregnant women. Who are you to say anyone has to accommodate you? If you went for a walk would you demand someone allow you into her private home to go to the bathroom just because you demanded it? You don’t have the right. How about the common decency of not demanding you be allowed to use the facilities when you aren’t paying anything? Being pregnant doesn’t give you extra rights. You can’t say “I’m so awesome I make babies and I can do anything” and then say “I should get treated specially because I’m pregnant.” If you know you will have to go to the bathroom a lot go places where you know there are public bathrooms or don’t stay that long or for freak’s sake, buy a meal (or even a darn drink) at the restaurant and use the bathroom as many times as you want. But don’t demand someone do what you want like you’re a special snowflake. YOU AREN’T.

    • http://twitter.com/jessbakescakes JessBakesCakes

      I mean, there’s no harm in asking, and would it have been nice for them to let her pee? Sure. But the outrage is kind of annoying and unnecessary. Plenty of pregnant women have gone elsewhere to pee and will continue to do so. I’m sure it was inconvenient and uncomfortable, and it’s even possible that whoever told her she wasn’t allowed to pee there truly felt awful about it, but had to enforce policy. This is so not worth the hubbub.

    • Kerri

      I agree, everyone seems to think they’re owed whatever they want. When I was pregnant I just bought a drink. A lot of restaurants in DuPont Circle near the Farmers Market in DC have the server give you a token to use the restroom. Pregnant women need to pee….the homeless need to go, too. Who wants to open themselves up to cries of discrimination when they can stand by their policy?

    • Em

      If I am caught between destinations and have a sudden need to go (have a very weak bladder too) I usually go to a gas station or fast food place, and buy a coffee, water, pack of gum- something or other, THEN use their restroom as a paying customer.

    • Punky

      Most of the outrage on the original blog is due to the fact that once the restaurant hostess advised she could not use the restroom the mom to be went and got her partner to come and berate the hostess and then the manager until they allowed her to use the restroom. After which she still complained about the restaurant. This is my neighborhood, there are probably 5 or 6 restrooms open to the public within a block – Petco, Target, DSW, Giant, Marshalls, etc. And, one door down is Starbucks, Chiptle, and other fast food type places that she could have spent a buck for a soda and used their restrooms.

    • Stacy Shain

      Whatever.When I was a server I let every one use the bathroom.My boss was craaaaaazy, and he would chase people down, even little old ladies. He used to hit on us waitresses, and steal our tips, hit his kids and threw a plate at his wife. He was from Greece and cursed at everyone in that beautiful language lol Everyone was scared of him but me. I feel just let people use the bathroom, they will appreciate it, and might come back for a meal because they got treated nicely!