• Fri, Aug 22 - 2:00 pm ET

Saying Goodbye To Your Body Pillow After Pregnancy Is One Of The Hardest Break-Ups, Ever

Have you heard of the “Snoogle,” a.k.a pregnancy body pillow a.k.a cushioned moat of no-love? It’s revered by pregnant women all over the land and probably despised by their partners. It wraps you in a warm embrace while simultaneously shoving your husband out of bed — and once you own one it is really hard to let go. Unfortunately, your partner will probably want their nighttime real estate back eventually, and once you have a baby there’s not really an excuse to keep this thing around.

Behold the Snoogle:

snoogle-body-pillow

Look at it! LOOK AT IT! Have you ever seen anything so glorious? It’s as comfortable as it looks, it really is. But in case you have a California king-sized bed, it is really going to piss your partner off. Well, it especially is if you’re like me and the Snoogle isn’t quite enough to meet your needs. Look at the one I got:

4180TXAVYJL__1408721782_142.196.167.223

It’s like the Snoogle on steroids. That’s not me, by the way. I don’t own any matching pajamas.

At about month seven in my first pregnancy I started to become miserable. My belly was growing and I had crazy sciatic nerve pain. Couple that with the fact that I’m one of those people who, when not pregnant, always sleeps on her stomach. Pregnancy sleep was hell for me. Enter, the Snoogle – or whatever this double-Snoogle monstrosity is called.

Not only did I sleep with it at night, I carried this monster around the house with me, positioned it on the couch, and sat on it like a throne. When the enormous box was delivered to our door and my husband had to carry it up to our third-floor walk up, I saw the immediate annoyance and confusion in his eyes; “What the fuck is this and why is it so light?” That was his initial response to the mystery box that contained the savior that would finally give me a good night’s sleep while slowly inching my husband out of his own bed.

Once the baby came, I was able to justify keeping this giant thing in our bed for a few weeks longer – thanks emergency surgery! But once I could walk around and rise out of bed without wincing, it became increasingly obvious that there was not room for this thing and my husband in my life anymore. Also, when your apartment is approximately 600 square feet — it’s a little absurd to own a pillow that takes up 100 of it.

But what was I supposed to do with it? I couldn’t put it on the curb – that seemed so cold. Craigslist? Trying to sell a pillow I’d had jammed between my crotch for six-months seemed gross. Did I mention this thing cost almost 70 dollars? I had no solution. I held onto it a little longer, half-hoping my husband would put it on the curb while I wasn’t home so I wouldn’t have to be the one abandoning it.

Then one night I had a friend over for wine. She had recently broken up with a long term boyfriend and we were commiserating – me about losing my freedom, her about losing her man. I had one of those railroad style apartments, so you had to walk through my bedroom to get to the bathroom. She excused herself, and a few seconds later I heard, “WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS THING?” I walked back to my room to see her nestled in my Snoogle’s warm embrace.

“Do you want it?” I asked.

“Of course!” She answered.

“Are you sure? How are you going to get it home? It takes up a lot of space you know. Are you sure you have room for it?” I was desperately trying to think of something that would render the Snoogle unappealing. It wasn’t working.

About an hour later, she called a cab and left with my Snoogle wrapped around her shoulders like a warm, heavy, intrusive friend. I half-expected the Snoogle to come to life and insist we not be parted. It didn’t happen. The Snoogle doesn’t care who it Snoogles with, apparently.

It’s still a little hard for me to look at images of that thing. Breaking up is hard to do.

(photo: Amazon)

Share This Post:
  • lpag

    Well, my husband and I don’t share a bed, so I kept mine :-)

  • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

    I still have my Snoogle and IDGAF what my husband thinks because that thing is glorious. It was sent from the gods as a gift to pregnant women everywhere.

  • K2

    …I want one!

  • Alanna Jorgensen

    I never experienced the majesty that is the Snoogle, but I have a small waist and wide hips so without something between my legs to straighten out my spine I toss and turn all night with hip pain. After pregnancy I kept my body pillow and have it to this day. My fiance has learned to accept our third bedfellow.

  • jeremyaboyl

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    • jeremyaboyl

      CORT.AS/Fq9d

  • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

    I parted with my body pillow when my husband and I moved in together, and I regret it. *wipes away a tear*

    • Maria Guido

      The thing is pretty glorious. I try not to think about it – except when I’m writing 1,000 word essays to it, of course.

    • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      It really is. It hurts to think about.

  • keelhaulrose

    I still use my body pillow, and you can pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

    • Portia Mount

      I’m with you, keelhaulrose!

  • Jennie Blair

    I have the double one. Honestly I won’t mind seeing it go. I miss sleeping on my stomach, and I move all night long so it doesn’t really help, it’s great for watching tv though. My husband uses it and says it’s on his side of the bed anyway so he should get some use out of it, and the cat thinks it’s a kitty throne. The part reserved only for me is a traitor and never stays on the bed, so comfy if I am awake but doesn’t help me sleep and will be moving out of my bed as soon as I can sleep on something other than my side.

  • CMP414

    It looks like a giant cat bed! I’m exactly a week from having my baby so I’m not going to invest in it but if I had seen this sooner I so would have gotten one.

  • Rachel Sea

    This is one of the many reasons being married to a woman is awesome: all the pillows.

  • http://misuser.blogspot.com Alex Lee

    “The Snoogle doesn’t care who it Snoogles with”

    Because the Snoogle is a whore. A 400-thread-count, poly-cotton, unisex WHORE.

    Let go, Maria. That pillow is gone.

    • Maria Guido

      NOOOOOOO!

  • tSubh Dearg

    I’m only 15 weeks gone and I already want a pillow like this for the cosiness factor!

  • http://www.ambiencechaser.com/ Elizabeth Licata

    Why did I not have one of those? I just took my husband’s pillow in addition to my own. My baby is 4 weeks old. Is it too late to buy one? I feel like I was deprived.

  • Larkin

    I’ve made it to 7 1/2 months without a body pillow, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed I’ll survive all the way to 9. It does seem like a lot of pregnant women are basically obsessed with it, though. I know women who have named theirs. So far, I’ve made do with just a normal pillow to snuggle with. Haha.

  • candyvines

    I climbed over my Snoogle just the other night to cuddle with my husband for approximately four minutes. I thought that was pretty generous.

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  • 2Well

    Do I have to be pregnant for this? It looks glorious.

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      It is glorious! It even comes with a little card that shows you how to fold it up different ways. There is one way to fold it to use for reading, so I think that means that you dont have to be pregnant to get one.

    • hdonovan

      For reading??!! SOLD!!

    • brebayVadgeBadge

      You don’t have to be, it’s just a little more wonderful because of the relief after walking around pregnant all day, but it’s pretty awesome either way ;)

  • Linzon

    My body pillow and I have developed a symbiotic relationship (it gets human contact, I get a good night’s sleep) and I will never say goodbye to it. We have a king sized bed and are not sleep snugglers.

    Actually, it’s in the wash right now and I feel kind of like how Calvin felt when Hobbes was in the wash. Will it be dry in time for bed?!

  • emilyg25

    I named my Snoogle “Javier.” I think my husband accepts that my polyandry is the new, permanent state of our marriage.

    • Ann

      I named mine “George”. I’ve had many “George”s and I have zero intentions on giving him up, he’s been around longer then my current husband!

  • brebayVadgeBadge

    Yes, yes, and yes! My ex actually blamed the thing for the downfall of our relationship (and also the baby, but oddly not his alcoholism or anger,) But oh, yes, I loved that thing and missed it!

  • Desert_RoseAZ

    This thing would only give me one more reason to NOT want to get out of bed in the am.

  • NotTakenNotAvailableWTFDisqus

    I have what I guess is like the cheapie single-body-length pillow from Target, and you can pry it from between my cold, dead thighs. Unlike a boyfriend/fiance/husband, it doesn’t snore, it doesn’t drool, it doesn’t hog the covers, it doesn’t generously agree to move over so I can have like maybe 5% of the bed instead of the floor beside the bed, and it doesn’t wake me up when I snore in spite of the fact that only one of us has anything resembling a job that requires some semblance of alertness the next day (and guess which one that is!!!!!). Body pillows before bros, yo.

  • shoey

    Snoogle was way to big for our bed. But the Boppy Cuddle pillow was perfect. And 5 months postpartum, Stuffie is still in my bed.

    • Bee

      I looove my Boppy Cuddle, so much so that I took it to the hospital this week for my scheduled c-section. It helped my back during the wait when it kept getting pushed back, then helped both me in recovery and with breastfeeding my daughter. Then…we got home literally a few hours ago today, and I realized that I LEFT it at the hospital. My husband was probably glad (or even purposely “forgot” ha) in the craziness of discharge, but then he saw my face when I realized it, and ran back for it….total credit to him. Lol. It’s on my lap right now…

  • Caitlin Fry

    My other half was surprisingly cool with it – probably because it was preferable to me resting the bump on him and demanding he not move until the morning.

    We even call her my Japanese pillow girlfriend. Okay. Yes, She even has a name.

    I actually know quite a few people who’ve gone on to use their pillow companions for breastfeeding support pillows – because you can have one end supporting your back, the other on your lap without too much faffing. Recently my sister-in-law brought hers out of storage when her little one had a chesty cold and he needed to snooze propped upright.

    So I don’t think I’ll be saying farewell to my Japanese pillow girlfriend any time soon…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xIwP2Jg6zw

  • C.J.

    I am not pregnant and never will be again but I so want one!! That would be perfect for my bad back!

  • dzymzlzy

    I had the Boppy one plus something like 8 regular pillows. My husband finally gave up and moved to the guest room at about 8 months in. The pillows plus the constant getting up to pee was keeping him awake. After the baby was born my dog took over the Boppy. She has butt issues and ruined it pretty quickly so that made it pretty easy to part with. It still felt weird to throw it away. I still wish I could use the 8 pillows though.

  • Portia Mount

    I used a body pillow during my pregnancy because my back was killing me during my last trimester. My son is now four and I still have it my bed. I love it so much but especially because I still have back issues and it really helps me sleep. My husband calls it “The Husband Blocker”. I know I’ve got to get rid of it but I can’t bear to part with it.

  • christina

    I have no intention of giving mine up…ever

  • keanesian

    I was way too attached to that thing. Oh man. What an amazing, unattractive, massive product.

  • http://brokensaucer.blogspot.com/ sera

    Every time I want to snuggle with my husband, he says he’s reading and pries himself away from me. I’m so excited for my snoogle to arrive from Amazon. If he has a problem with it, I’ll just tell him I’m reading. Shouldn’t it be here already???