Details Emerge That Abigail Hernandez May Have Been Held In a Shipping Container – Do We Believe Her Now?

abigail-hernandezLast October, 14-year-old Abigail Hernandez was walking home from school when she was allegedly abducted by 34-year-old Nathaniel E. Kibby. Kibby was ordered held on $1 million cash bail after his arraignment this week in a New Hampshire courtroom. $1 million cash bail. I guess we can hope now that the rumors swirling around her disappearance will disappear. Probably not though. For some reason, girls are always a suspect in their own crimes.

It’s unfathomable to me that a young girl  can go missing for nine months, show up back at home pale, thin and scared – and so many people jump to a conclusion that she somehow happily went along with a creepy, introverted, 34-year-old man.

“She was very thin,” her mother said. “She lost a lot of weight, very pale. She had a look in her eyes I’ve never ever seen before, and that’s something that’s haunting me and I think will haunt me the rest of my life.”

That her mother even had to respond to pregnancy rumors a week after her daughter’s return casts a real disturbing light on what we think of young women. ”The majority of people somehow believe that she was pregnant,” Zenya Hernandez told NBC’s Today Show. ”She was not. She did not run away. I firmly believe that.”

Hernandez returned home wearing the same clothes she was wearing when she went missing. Little by little, disturbing details are emerging from the case – the newest that she may have been held in a soundproof shipping container on Kibby’s property. Neighbors describe Kibby as a loner, some saying they told their children to stay away from him. ”He’s been called crazy Nate. I don’t know too much about him, he’s pretty much a loner. But I always told the girls stay away from that trailer,” said neighbor Debbie Demers.

No matter about any of these details, the internet thinks she’s a liar. Because victimized women, even when they are 14-year-old girls, always manage to become suspects in their own crimes. The number of people insisting she was pregnant because she was missing for nine months is unbelievable. Really internet idiots? Is that how you think this works? You get pregnant, go away for nine months – and poof! You come back as if nothing has happened? Some of these comments make me seriously doubt humanity:

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One blogger wrote:

“Yea so….am I an asshole for pointing out that this girl was obviously pregnant? I mean, come on people. Give me a break here. First of all she was 14 when she “disappeared.” Newsflash – 14 year old girls don’t survive on their own for nine months. She was obviously with someone. You know who was looking for you girl? The F-B-I.  And she just magically avoided detection for nearly a full calendar year? She never came out of her bunker? She never went into town? A 14 year old girl was perfectly content sitting alone in some log cabin for nine months? She’s a regular Whitey Bulger isn’t she?”

I guess the only way to get a pass from the general public is if you are found dead.

This family went through hell for nine months looking for their chid. Abigail Hernandez is alive and had the courage to face her alleged captor in court yesterday. More details will emerge – and maybe those people insisting she had a hand in her own disappearance will finally shut up. But the damage is already done. Why must we insist, time and time again, on letting victims know that we just don’t believe them?

Disgusting.

(photo: Facebook)

You can reach this post's author, Maria Guido, on twitter.
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    • Ursi

      If you were held captive for 9 months I don’t think you’d be too keen to talk about it either. Try mounting a defense for yourself when you’ve been permanently psychologically damaged. For fucks sake.

    • Lilly

      people are assholes but I think a lot of the blame the victim comes from a fear; “if bad things happen to good people then bad things can happen to me or my family, so I will assume that the bad things happened because the victim deserved it so as as long as I am good bad things won’t happen to me”
      Except is doesn’t matter what you are as a person bad things might happen to you anyway just as good things happen to assholes.

      • Justme

        I think that’s where a lot of the parenting sanctimony comes from too. “If I parent in this precise way, then nothing bad will ever happen to my child and if you don’t do it my way then you don’t care about your child like I do.”

      • Spongeworthy

        I think you are correct in this assessment. People want to believe that if you do everything just right, nothing bad will happen. See: pretty much every conversation about sexual assault ever.

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        So true.

      • jsterling93

        This is actually is true. During one of my legal courses in school we learned that in rape trials women make the worse jury members because they re so afraid of being a victim themselves that they look for any reason at all to believe the rape victim was to blame. If the victim was at fault then they don’t have to be afraid that they would ever be raped.

      • Heather

        I think you’re absolutely right. And isn’t that so fucking sad?

      • Maria Guido

        You are soooo right on here.

      • Bic

        I think you can also add a good amount of enjoyment for salacious gossip and desperation for excitement to that too.

        I stopped reading one website due to the horrific comments made by some people after a young woman went missing and was found murdered. It was mind boggling, they were alleging her boyfriend was involved (he was cleared by police very quickly, and was I think over an hour away from where she was killed) to claiming something was clearly wrong because the socks she wore were not “Pretty” enough.

    • brebay

      I don’t think it’s exclusive to girls, people, even law enforcement think of running away first, because it happens SO MUCH MORE often than abduction in her age group. The pregnancy thing crossed my mind, too. There were conflicting stories about the circumstances of her disappearance, and with millions of kids running away every year, it wasn’t that long a shot. I don’t think anyone doesn’t believe now that she was taken, but this just happened recently in another high profile case and tat girl really did run away, so I don’t think you can fault people for speculating. Glad she’s home safe, and good on her for facing down her kidnapper.

      • Ezzy666

        There are still comments defending the guy and blaming her for using him.

      • brebay

        Yeah, that’s wrong. She’s a child. Children often go willingly with an abductor. It doesn’t excuse anything.

    • Amber Starr

      People are such fucking jerks. They really think they’re SO clever… “Oh, it’s been 9 months?? Where’s the baby? Just sayin’. HAR HAR HAR.”

      I’m glad that this girl was found alive and they have the scumbag who kidnapped her in custody. Hopefully, this girl can heal and isn’t further traumatized by these anonymous assfuckingholes on the internet.

    • sweetgotham

      This sh*t really does happen and it’s not that complicated to understand that, no, she really was trapped in that container with no outside contact for months. Thankfully there is a model for a happy and healthy recovery. Just gonna leave this right here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katie_Beers_kidnapping

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      That doesn’t even make sense: “And she just magically avoided detection for nearly a full calendar
      year?”

      EXACTLY jerkface. She “magically avoided detection” because she was being held captive. fucking duh.

      • Maria Guido

        I know! What the hell is wrong with that guy??

      • waffre

        Yeah… and this part: “She never came out of her bunker? She never went into town? A 14 year old girl was perfectly content sitting alone in some log cabin for nine months?” WTF is this person smoking, because it sounds like good stuff. I’d guess most people are assuming that she didn’t go into town for 9 months because she was, oh I don’t know, LOCKED AWAY? Generally kidnappers don’t let their victims take trips to the mall.

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        Right? Like I actually don’t get their point because they seem to be contradicting themselves.

    • Elyne

      I can’t believe these people. I hope the girl will never read those comments. Hopefully law enforcement will clear everything out.

    • CleaK

      I’m from Utah and was in high school when Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped and the subsequently found just over 9 months later. There were many rumors around here that that sort of thing was behind her disappearance. Those theories usually stated that Elizabeth had gotten a little too wild for her wealthy and extremely conservative Mormon family (there are some sectors of Salt Lake where the church membership seems to believe in the appearance of perfect above all, her area of town was very much one of those) and her father had arranged for her disappearance to distract from his daughter’s pregnancy and wild attire. My useless Sociology teacher would fight anyone who tried to tell her that theory sounded like shit.
      I think, though, enough time has passed and enough has been revealed about her horrible ordeal that those theories have mostly gone away. I hope that when more comes to light here that this poor girl will finally be seen as victim and survivor that she is and not some lying runaway.
      When she was found though, I did compare this to the Elizabeth Smart case. That girl was the same age and missing for about the same amount of time and why is it only now that she was found that anyone on a national news level ever knew she was missing? Elizabeth was plastered all over the national media with covers of People magazine. Is it that she was a cute, wealthy white girl that made her more deserving of the national spotlight? That annoys me.

      • Erin Murphy

        Yes. The news has a very clear “type” of victim they like to focus on. Cute and white pretty much sums it up.

      • M.

        Helps if you’re blonde, too, I think.

      • shoey

        She was all over the news in New England, just not national.

      • Ashley

        I’ve seen her all over the news in the southeast for months also.

      • Michael Weldon

        This case is also about a cute white girl. Not rich and blond though.

      • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

        That really angers me about Elizabeth Smart too. She has come out as such a strong voice for victims. I love everything she writes or says on the subject, because it’s profound and beautiful.

      • LK

        I’m hoping that she and her organization have reached out to this family already. I LOVE when Elizabeth Smart has done interviews and in the sweetest, most appropriately-languaged way told her detractors (ie the “hey, why didn’t you just leave dummy” crowd), they can fuck off.

      • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

        She handles them with such grace. I admire that about her.

      • Jem

        I don’t understand that either. I had NEVER heard about this girl until today. Why?

    • Cruelty Cupcake

      I don’t think even death would give her a pass…I mean, what was she wearing?

      • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

        She must have intentionally walked past this obviously very creepy dude and tempted him.

      • Cruelty Cupcake

        I bet she was wearing her hair in a ponytail. EVERYONE knows if you wear your hair in a ponytail, you’re just asking for a rapist to jump out of the bushes and grab you by it!

      • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

        DUH! That is why so many women are abducted/raped/killed while out running. Ponytails and, of course, wearing slutty workout clothes.

      • Cruelty Cupcake

        I heard spandex is hand-spun by Satan!!!!

        http://s3.amazonaws.com/barkpost-assets/50+GIFs/19.gif

      • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

        Speaking of The Devil’s Garment, they apparently have decided that foundation garments aren’t enough punishment for being a woman and have crafted a line of Spanx denim.

      • Cruelty Cupcake

        I hate myself for not hating these.

      • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

        Oh, samesies. ON one hand, I fucking hate the pressure that women are under to not be the dreaded F word. On the other, I’m not digging my post-partum muffin top either.

    • wispy

      I love how these idiots think they know ALL the details the day it happens… or like they are OWED all the details. Like the boyfriend’s dad going to the news to say he deserved answers. I had to stop reading the comments on this story after she showed up in court and people were all “Oh she looks like she’s coming down from all those drugs from partying the last 9 months!” Go to hell fools.

      • ted3553

        this whole idea that people who have traumatic experiences automatically have to share them with the world or it didn’t happen makes me insane. Why does someone have to write a book or go on the talk show circuit and reveal every salacious detail for us to believe them? I sure as hell wouldn’t be telling the world details of what happened to me.

      • wispy

        Exactly! They don’t owe the general public anything but if they don’t say everything that happened then they are obviously lying. I bought Michelle Knight’s book months ago to support her and still haven’t read it because I still feel like it’s her personal information that I really don’t have the right to know.

      • ted3553

        I saw a few minutes of her on Dr. Phil one day talking and my thought was that we probably know the general idea of what she went through because I think men who kidnap women and hold them in basements or containers for months/years are probably not romancing them and treating them like queens. I assume there’s usually some sexual assault element and I really don’t need to know details about the horrors someone suffered. What is there to learn from that?

      • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

        “If you don’t facebook your assault/kidnapping/murder, it didn’t really happen!”

    • K2

      Good article, but please, one note – don’t use creepy and introverted in the same sentence to make a point about the shady guy! Introverted is just the opposite of extroverted, it’s not an illness/ bad trait.

      Oh, and as for the girl.. well, people are dumb. It’s like those girls missing for years, and people question why they didn’t ‘just run away’.

      • Andy

        Yeah, as a lifelong introvert,that bothered me too. Introverts already have a hard enough time socially without being labeled as creepy to boot.

      • Michael Weldon

        Yah, introverts get a bad rap.

    • Myna

      “Yea so….am I an asshole for pointing out that this girl was obviously pregnant?” — Yes. You are. You ARE an asshole. Here’s your asshole ID, asshole magnetic bumper sticker, and asshole drink cozy. You’re an asshole and I hope beyond hope people ignore you to oblivion.

      • Cruelty Cupcake

        Where can I get one of these Official Asshole™ koozies?

      • Myna

        I’ve decided to start my own Etsy shop in order to fulfill this mighty need I now see. If people don’t know they’re an asshole, especially for comments like this, we’ll damn well tell them.

      • Maria Guido

        I think you are on to something.

      • rockmonster

        Please an Official Smartass/Dumbass line, too.

      • Guest

        I also have a shirt that says the same thing

      • kittymom

        I cannot LOVE this enough

      • keelhaulrose

        “Obviously pregnant” as based on what? The baby she’s carrying around? The pictures of her with a swollen belly?
        Or your stupid assumption that there’s only one thing that can happen to a girl in nine months?
        These people are assholes of the highest order.

      • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

        It is such a weird assumption for them to make. So, basically she hides out just exactly long enough to pop out the baby, then makes her big debut? Guess what, Interweb geniuses? People still look pregnant after the baby pops out.

      • rockmonster

        Dear people of Earth,
        Fat from pregnancy still remains after a woman gives birth.

      • 2Well

        Wasn’t she thinner when she returned, according to her mom? I don’t know how she could be pregnant for nine months and return so thin her mom worries about it.

      • K.

        Elizabeth Smart was gone for nine months and no one accused her of hiding a pregnancy.

        But Abigail’s last name is Hernandez and her case didn’t spawn intense national media coverage.

        So clearly, she’s a slut who lies.

        What. Fucking. Assholes.

      • Emily A.

        This individual does not warrant the magnetic bumper sticker… s/he gets the full-on, sticks-forever-then-removes-the-paint sticker.

    • Leah

      Besides being assholes, these people also know nothing about pregnancy or math. Yes, a pregnancy is 9 (calendar) months but you don’t find out you are pregnant the moment it happens. In fact you are not really pregnant for the first two weeks. Therefore, it’d be more “suspicious” if she had been missing 7 or 8 months.

      • sweetgotham

        You forgot to account for losing all that baby weight too! /rolls eyes

      • rockmonster

        What in the huh?!? They really think it’s healthy to lose weight while pregnant?

      • keelhaulrose

        Most of these people probably haven’t seen a real vagina (besides their own), how can you expect them to know how reproduction really works?

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        Well obviously she wanted to give it an extra month or so so she could shed all her baby weight. OBVIOUSLY.

    • Dena

      Are people forgetting that Ariel Castro held those girls now-women for YEARS and no one saw them? He had friends and family in the house and they were in the basement the whole time. I guess people thought they just ran away, too. I have no doubt Abigail has been thru hell. It sickens me that people are being jackasses. I hope she gets all the support and therapy she needs.

      • Jem

        And Jaycee Dugard was held for 18 years. AND the police had been to her captors house numerous times.

    • keelhaulrose

      I’m not surprised most of these jerks are hiding behind ambiguous icons. Because they’d hate to be named and shown being an asshole when the “obvious” is proved to be not so obvious.

    • Erin Murphy

      It is ridiculous to me that anything that happens to a woman of child bearing age automatically means she’s pregnant. You can’t have a stomach bug or be tired or just pissy because you’re either pregnant or menstruating. Now some poor girl who survived a nightmare had to be pregnant because these rocket scientists put it together that she was gone 9 months!?

      • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

        Orlly?

      • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

        Okay, where did you find an O’ Reilly meme generator? I need that website, because I will use the shit out of it…

      • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

        imgflip.com :)

      • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

        You’re awesome. Thanks.

      • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

        Anything to spread the O’Reilly “love”!

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      Because of the comments you cited in this post, Maria, I had to have a KitKat for breakfast. Thanks a lot, stupid Internet commenters, for ruining my diet.

      • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

        I’m about to go break out peanut butter fudge core Ben & Jerry’s.

    • TngldBlue

      Do these idiots not realize it is pretty standard for investigators not to release all details about all things? Silly me, that’d be reasonable! It’s much more fun to blame the victim and assume the worst than to use a brain cell.

    • Ezzy666

      I read comments defending the guy that was arrested and that criticized her for wearing make up. My comments about his criminal history, one of which was for assault on a 9th grade girl which he claimed was a girlfriend.

    • shoey

      I find it strange that she had highlights done when she got back. A funny thing to notice, but she had no roots for being gone for 9 months, so I assume she came home and got highlights before her court appearance. Now, I understand that a haircut can be therapeutic, but it going to a gossipy salon after being kidnapped would not be in my plans. Oh well, just an observation that was bugging me. Maybe she did them herself at home?

      • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

        A girl was abducted and held for 9 months, and the observation that you make is that her hair is done?
        http://www.showmedaily.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/i-feel-like-im-taking-crazy-pills.gif

      • shoey

        Yup, I know, right? It is a stupid thought to have, but it was the first thing that popped into my head. I’m not discrediting her or saying she shouldn’t have done it. Just an odd observation by me!

      • Justme

        After being held in captivity for nine months, I absolutely would want to do something to change my looks. Something to start fresh and wipe away the appearance of my captivity.

      • guest

        Yeah, didn’t one of castro’s victims change her name too? I’d cut off all my damn hair, buy new clothes and makeup, change my name and everything else possible. She can do whatever the f**k she wants she just got out of captivity.

      • Spongeworthy

        Yea, god forbid this kid do anything that would make her feel better and a little more herself after being kept in a shipping container for 9 months. She shouldn’t have showered of changed clothes either, just so we can make sure she’s being a victim the right way.

      • wispy

        Who cares? Why is everyone caught up on her hair, makeup, clothes. “She had highlights! She was wearing glitter eyeshadow! She was not dressed like she was scared!” WTF does any of that even mean? And who freaking cares?? She can do whatever the hell she wants with her hair! I sure as hell would want to do my hair when I got home whether it was at a gossipy salon or home. Who cares???????

      • Ezzy666

        Why don’t people react the same way when a male victim gets a hair cut or shaves?

      • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

        You can also do touch-ups at home…maybe she had a family member that does hair…I can think of a half dozen ways to get out of going to a salon. Signed, an introvert that hates gossipy salons just in general.

      • Bic

        Exactly. I see a mobile hairdresser, Just so I don’t have to go to a salon. And if I’d just got out of captivity you can bet I’d have a hair cut, colour, manicure and pedicure too. Plus I suspect one seriously huge shopping trip.

      • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

        I have a friend that does that too, because of her work schedule. The hairdresser actually turns good business simply because it’s so damned convenient for working women.

      • brebay

        Maybe a stylist with a heart came to her.

    • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      So people really see nine months and automatically think pregnant? That’s really weird. I mean, first off, you’d have to give her four to eight weeks to even figure out she was pregnant, so she’d already be at least a month or two along–probably at least two, because I know when I was pregnant with my first at 18 I had no idea until that point. It just doesn’t make any sense to me to make that connection.

      Then there’s the whole, “She’s wearing the same clothes so she can’t have been abducted”…because, what, every kidnapper provides their victim with a new wardrobe, hopefully seasonably appropriate and up to date fashion-wise? How does that make sense in the “obviously she wasn’t kidnapped” column? That clearly falls into the “obviously she was” column, because what teenager is going to stay in the same clothes for nearly a year?

      My head hurts.

      • https://twitter.com/perfctlyflawd1 JenH1986

        I don’t know how she could have been pregnant and still in the same clothes though. Admittedly never been 9 months pregnant but every pregnant woman I’ve met has gained SOME weight so how would she be in the same clothes if she was pregnant? unless she you know was naked for 6 months or so?

      • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

        I’m assuming they are trying to say that she just put those clothes back on. I don’t know why a runaway would bother with that, but that’s the only logical explanation I can come up with for that.

    • candi514

      As a local (Conway NH is a 40 min. drive from my house) this just makes me sick. People are so hateful and mean. The comments on the local news sites are horrible. It’s bullshit that everyone thinks they are entitled to every horrible detail of this child’s last 9 months. her very personal tragedy does not need to be made public. And even if she went with the dude willingly ( I am NOT saying she did) guess what its still a crime because she is a CHILD and he is a grown man. UGH!!! its so frustrating for me I can’t imagine what her and her family are going through.

      • LK

        Exactly. “I’m a person who heard about this story and somehow that entitles me to ALL THE DETAILS and if I don’t get them, I’ll just assume it’s ALL LIES!” It’s awful. This poor girl is going to have to go through PLENTY in public, as if the trauma she already went through was not enough.

    • Kelly

      WTF is wrong with people? Even if she went with him willingly, it’s still not ok. She’s 14 years old and he’s 34.

      How the hell is it obvious she was pregnant? Has there been any evidence that she carried and gave birth to a child?

      • Katherine Handcock

        Well, NINE MONTHS! Because nine months couldn’t just be a random period in time, because it’s also the same(ish) as human gestation.

        Grrr….

      • https://twitter.com/perfctlyflawd1 JenH1986

        People don’t need evidence. I turn down a beer and I’m knocked up. So it sounds like a good reason for someone to run away, because that’s a better alternative to “kidnapped and held against will”

    • AP

      It’s cruel for them to be making these comments AFTER they’ve figured out where she was. Why accuse her and the police of lying? That’s ridiculous.

      However, I can see people thinking that before she was found, because of the old axiom, “When you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras.” Being abducted and held captive by a nutter for a year is definitely a zebra: most missing teens are “horses” who willingly left on their own for some reason or another.

      Certainly, the New England news covers its fair share of local teens who disappeared, but turned up later completely of their own free will. Abigail seems to be one of the unfortunate few who met foul play.

    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

      What is wrong with these people? How can people be THIS paranoid about stranger abductions of children in this day and age and simultaneously so intent on disbelieving it when it actually happens? Like, WTF?

    • Donna Talbot

      Guess they’ve never heard of Jayce Dugard.

    • Coffee&Cats

      I haven’t heard of this story until now. This is just horrific! I feel so bad for this poor girl. I can’t believe people are accusing her of hiding a pregnancy. Like WTAF?! That is some serious misogyny…

    • AnnH

      We don’t need to know if she was pregnant or not. Even if she was, prior to her disappearance, it doesn’t mean she ran away, Kibby could still have abducted her. And even so, being pregnant at the time doesn’t make a 14yo living in a container owned by a 34yo okay ; if anything it makes it worse.
      By the way, does anyone truly believe that Kibby would have his day in court without Hernandez being first subjected to a battery of medical tests and psychological interviews, some of them indicating clearly if she has recently given birth ? Again, not that we need (hell, not that we deserve) to know. But I think officials know very well why this guy faces heavy charges and a bail size of a mountain.
      So sick of any armchair Jessica Fletcher with a phone thinking they have “cracked the code” and know the truth better than the people who spend hours of their life working on a complicated and terrible case.

    • LK

      What is disgusting about it to me, is that all these idiots think they ENTITLED to all the details about this girl’s abduction. People act like if anything is kept private, then OH BOY CONSPIRACY time! Maybe they want to keep it private because horrible things happened to this girl, that those asshats will luckily never, ever begin to understand. And who the hell BLOGS about this?? Seriously. In the absence of any evidence that suggests a hoax, how about just shut the hell up about it? Not EVERY thought in one’s head belongs on the damn internet.