A popular tourist attraction on Old Fisherman’s Wharf in Monterey, California has offended some parents by posting signs prohibiting crying babies, or children making any loud sounds at all. I think they are on to something - but why stop at babies? Why not make a laundry list of all the annoying things the rest of humanity does, too?

Old Fisherman’s Grotto proudly displays a sign that lets customers know they do not have high chairs or booster seats and will not allow strollers in the door. The sign also says “Children crying or making loud noises are a distraction to other diners and as such are not allowed in the dining room.” Fair enough. Crying children are annoying. But what about the rest of humanity? Everyone is annoying. We need a bigger sign.

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I’d totally go to this restaurant. Parents who don’t do anything about their unhappy children in restaurants are the worst. I’m just not sure that they need to be singled out. I would also go to the restaurant that proudly displayed this sign:

No pungent perfume that will disrupt another diner’s ability to enjoy their meal.

No loud talking on cell phones about whatever business deal you are working on that nobody cares about.

No sitting on the same side of the booth and making out – that’s just gross.

No groups of loud dudes who say things like “Broheim” and high five each other.

No bachelorette parties.

Yes, babies are annoying, but everyone is annoying. I think it’s high time we start calling out adults too – and not just the ones who have decided to populate the earth with their loud spawn. The person pointing at laughing at the “no kids allowed” sign may be the most annoying person in the restaurant.

Basically – lets just start posting signs everywhere making everyone feel uncomfortable. Why not?

(photo: Twitter)