The 10 Best Baby Names Inspired By Beer

shutterstock_123967681

I love beer almost as much as I love my two beautiful babies…. although, my kids definitely don’t help me relax after a long, hard day. Even though I love my kids more than anything—as toddlers, they are often the source of my anxiety. But on the other hand, it’s perfectly legal to carry your baby while walking down the street. Try this with an open beer, and you’ll be in a world of hurt.

This is a tough one. I wish I had been smart enough to name my kids after delicious, delicious beer. Maybe there’s still time to change their birth certificates to one of these top 10 picks:

1. Bock.

I live in Texas, where little (Shiner) Bock would be one popular kid.

2. Cascade.

Your friends will applaud this gorgeous, hop-varietal-inspired girl’s name.

3. Colt.

This is a popular southern name in general, especially for those who like to sip on Colt 45 on a hot summer’s day. #maltliquor

4. Coors.

You are one brave, brave soul if you choose this name for your kid, but it just might be crazy enough to work.

5. Guinness.

I’ve known quite a few dogs with this name, so why not a strapping baby boy? You heard it here first.

6. Miller.

This name is totally fine, but I will give $100 if you choose the middle name “Lite.”

7. Porter.

Pretty obvious but still a commendable baby beer name.

8. Samuel Adams.

This one is just a given for the lazy beer lover since you get a first name and a middle name all in one.

9. Shandy.

A totes adorable name that just happens to be a delicious mixture of half beer and half lemonade.

10. Vienna.

Vienna is a gorgeous name, save for that twat on The Bachelor, that also pays homage to Old Vienna Beer.

(Image: A.KaZaK/Shutterstock)

You can reach this post's author, Bethany Ramos, on twitter.
Share This Post:
    • Lackadaisical

      So does a boy named after beer have to date a girl called Chardonnay?

      • Bethany Ramos

        I met a little girl named Chardonnay, and her parents owned a winery in TX!

      • Spongeworthy

        NO.

      • keelhaulrose

        My friends are major wine fans (both worked as sommeliers when they meet) and seriously considered naming their first daughter Merlot. After some major ribbing they decided to go with the much better Rose (pronounced like the flower, not the wine), but her middle name starts with an A do when you say her first name and middle initial you say Rose- A, kind of like the wine.

      • LadyClodia the Modest Rat

        I think it could be workable with “Char” as a nickname.

      • Spongeworthy

        Yes. And when they have a kid they name it Miller High Life. It’s the champagne of beers!
        Note: I know Chardonnay isn’t a kind of champagne. Give me some leeway here.

      • Valerie

        I prefer Chenin Blanc. Much klassier.

    • Spongeworthy

      My husband was a professional brewer for years, so when I was pregnant everyone insisted we had to give the kid a “beer name”. I had several of these suggested, along with kolsch, tripel, and a few others I can’t remember right now. My husband was NOPE to all of them.

      • https://twitter.com/perfctlyflawd1 JenH1986

        I know a Miller. But not for beer, it was his mom’s maiden name. lol

    • LadyClodia the Modest Rat

      LOL. “Bock” makes me think of a chicken, though. I will admit that that may be because I am not at all familiar with beer.

      I’m going to join the Paul Rudd gif party!

      http://i.imgur.com/Kuwstue.gif

      http://img.pandawhale.com/81157-Paul-Rudd-Anchorman-ROAR-gif-B-wzp5.gif

      • Bethany Ramos

        Ohhhhh I love these.

      • LadyClodia the Modest Rat

        All of yours are so great! Paul Rudd is always awesome.

      • Justme

        But how has he not aged since Clueless? Seriously.

      • LadyClodia the Modest Rat

        I know! He’s ageless, which is probably good for him, but it’s not fair, lol.

      • WhoremonalCrazyLotusSlugalo

        Is it wrong of me to be a little … ya know… turned on by that first one?

      • LadyClodia the Modest Rat
      • WhoremonalCrazyLotusSlugalo

        It totally worked

      • AndreaTCardenas

        til I looked at the receipt
        which had said $7907 , I accept that my friend was like actualey receiving
        money in their spare time at there computar. . there moms best frend haz done
        this for only about 1 year and as of now repayed the mortgage on there cottage
        and purchased a great Alfa Romeo . visit homepage J­a­m­2­0­.­C­O­M­

    • Jessica

      11. Stellaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

      • WhoremonalCrazyLotusSlugalo

        My GF did name their daughter Stella… Long story short, hubs had a black eye after his delivery-time exclamation.

      • Jessica

        Love the name Stella. I think your friend’s husband sounds hilarious!

      • WhoremonalCrazyLotusSlugalo

        He is….They are. I love them to bits.

    • Lola Sie

      My boy is Maximus. Not after the IPA, but my family did bring us a six-pack to the hospital after he was born…

      • https://twitter.com/perfctlyflawd1 JenH1986

        You win for awesome family.

      • Steve Smith

        I quit working at shoprite and now I make $35h – $80h…how? I’m working online! My work didn’t exactly make me happy so I decided to take a chance on something new… after 4 years it was so hard to quit my day job but now I couldn’t be happier.—-=====

        Here ­­­­­­­­­is ­­­­­­­­­I ­­­­­started>>>>>>>>>➜➜➜➜➜➜➜

        ➜➜➜➜ W­W­W­.­N­E­T­P­A­Y­6­0­.ℭ­ℴ­m

        —————————————————–

        GO TO THE SITE –>>>CLICK NEXT TAB FOR MORE INFO AND HELP

    • Megan

      Paul Rudd is one of the underrated hotties of the now. I was so happy when he came back after his Clueless drought and still had all his hair and sparkly teeth.

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        YES. He’s still really cute.

    • WhoremonalCrazyLotusSlugalo

      I hear “Vienna” I think sausage.

      • noodlestein’s danger tits

        Funny, that’s the same thing awful Vienna thinks every time she hears her name (and most other times), too!

      • WhoremonalCrazyLotusSlugalo

        *snort*!! LOL!

      • GPMeg

        Thank goodness I’m not the only one!

    • Boozy Shark Lee

      I really wanted to name my Australian Cattle dog Foster. What about Killian? I actually know of a child named that.

      • Boozy Shark Lee

        Let’s see if I can get a gif to work. var _giphy = _giphy || []; _giphy.push({id: ’13siSpuZtsmG2I’,w: 500, h: 419});var g = document.createElement(‘script’); g.type = ‘text/javascript’; g.async = true;g.src = (‘https:’ == document.location.protocol ? ‘https://’ : ‘http://’) + ‘giphy.com/static/js/widgets/embed.js’;var s = document.getElementsByTagName(‘script’)[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(g, s);

      • Boozy Shark Lee

        I did it!

      • http://facebook.com/guineverew Guinevere

        he is so sexy. I asked my man to dress like that. He said it would be too expensive.

      • noodlestein’s danger tits

        Not only is he sexy, but I’m such a whore for guyliner. It instantly makes any guy ten times hotter to me. Mmmm, guyliner.

      • Bethany Ramos

        Oh, I do know a Killian – good one!

      • Obladi Oblada

        I played ball with a girl whose last name is Killian. Good name.

      • Kitsune

        I know a Killian too. I actually don’t mind that one.

      • K2

        I have a family member called Killian – but it’s a real name (Irish)! The beer is named after a guy, after all. :D

    • WhoremonalCrazyLotusSlugalo

      In Maryland, we have Natty & Boh.

    • Pingback: Latest Dish! | Celebrity Baby Scoop()

    • Justme

      I have a high school friend who named her daughter Stella after Stella Artois.

    • Mercedes

      I think you could maybe give Shiner a solid go for a name. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if already somewhere in Texas there’s a little girl running around named “Shyner”.

      Perhaps also Duchesse?

    • saradduclos

      Start working at home with Google! It’s by-far the best job I’ve had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this – 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link, go to tech tab for work detail

      ✒✒✒✒✒✒ Jobs700.Com

      ================================

    • val97

      Not beer related, but when we thought our son was going to be a daughter, we chose Morgan for a name. Mostly because we liked it, but also because we had been drinking captain and coke when I got pregnant. We keep it classy.

      • Bethany Ramos

        Next… booze-inspired baby names…

      • Fondue

        If our baby was a boy, his name would’ve been Cooper. A cooper is a barrel-maker. Hubby’s a fan of whiskey, I’m a fan of wine. Both are aged in barrels. That name was a total no-brainer for us.

      • Melissa

        I knew someone a few years back named Hennessy…

      • Bethany Ramos

        NO! That does make me think of the Ladies’ Man on SNL…

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      I know a Shandy! I think it’s a cool name.

      • Jessica

        Yeah I’ve never heard Shandy used as a name but now it sounds really pretty. I can see Shandy as being a cool, fun little summer baby girl!

      • noodlestein’s danger tits

        Especially if she’s blonde!

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      Some friends of ours named their son Samuel Adam. As a fellow beer lover, I am mostly in favor of other people using all these names.

    • http://twitter.com/ElyneS Elyne

      Love Stella – the name not the beer.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      I shall name any unfortunate accidents I have Frambozen after New Belgium’s Christmas seasonal.

      I keep hoping that if I announce these intentions publicly enough, someone will step in and give me an all-expenses-paid, no-questions-asked-or-needed tubal ligation.

      • http://twitter.com/ElyneS Elyne

        I would name the child the english name raspberry sounds nicer :p

      • NotTakenNotAvailable

        But the German fits my very German-sounding last name! Also I’d expect my kids to be born with permanent bitchface, so anything remotely nice-sounding just wouldn’t do! ;)

      • http://twitter.com/ElyneS Elyne

        I try very hard not to cringe but that word is in Dutch (I’m Belgian) just that you know;) but honestly i can’t imagine a native English speaker saying that word. That would be difficult.

      • NotTakenNotAvailable

        I actually learned all about the history of the beer, the name, and the brewery from some dude trying to impress his girlfriend. >_< It's mostly that phonetically, my last name does not pair well with anything as rhotic as "raspberry," not unless you're a vintage Bond villain with the accent to match.

    • middleofnowheremom

      My cousin named her dog Coors.

    • GPMeg

      This made my day for two reasons.

      A. Beer
      B. Paul Rudd

      Not necessarily in that order.

      http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7qse0nSi91qaqggd.gif

    • Mysty Nyckel

      You had me at Paul Rudd

    • Miss Lady

      My (now adult) son is named Alec, for Alec Guinness. Does that count?

      • Boozy Inactivist

        The force is strong in this one!

    • Awa Adams

      Haha I love this list. Sam was a strong contender on my pre-preggo future baby names list but when I got pregnant we had to veto it because my now-husband’s last name is Adams.

    • http://www.doesprotestosteronework.com richardjames12

      Does Pro Testosterone Work- Pro Testosterone is the good supplement for males and this product helps to get muscles growth effectively. If you feel less man power so, use this supplement as it provides manly effect in your body and boost your energy in body.