My daughter and I were in the car recently, singing along to “Let It Go” when one of us started replacing words with silly ones. Four rounds into “Let It Fart” I realized that my child would one day be embarrassed to be seen with me, especially given my predisposition towards juvenile (but totally hilarious) humor. For now, she’s over the moon that I can make all manner of toilet sounds for a laugh, but one day, I realized with surprised sadness, she would find her father and I utterly mortifying.
And then I remembered that she totally has it coming. Children are embarrassing sometimes, and we love them for it. My friend once told me a story of the public restroom, where she and her son were hunkered down in a teeny hiney hider to do their business when her child asked her very loudly why her butt was furry. “Butt”, of course, being her son’s interpretation of what a vulva was, and of course, you know what the fur is. The other bathroom goers found this hilarious.
As for me, I can only think of one particular instance in which my daughter caused me to blush and stutter. You see, when my child was younger, she had, as all children do, a limited grasp of vocabulary. The kitchen became “the chickens”, applesauce became “Oppapuss”, and the computer became “the puter”. One of her favorite things to do was sit on her dad’s lap and bang on the keys.
So once, when another adult at a play group asked my darling child what her favorite activity was, she answered with a loud and enthusiastic: “sit on daddy’s lap and play with his puter!”
What followed was mayhem. The more I tried to explain, the more suspicious the woman looked, and meanwhile, my daughter kept insisting, more and more loudly how fun daddy’s PUTER was.
So I guess what I’m saying is I won’t feel too bad when she grows up to be horrified by my extremely vocal love of “bun length wieners” in the grocery store.
What’s the most embarrassing your child has ever done? Is it vocabulary related, like my kid’s was? Perhaps they are more of a strip down to their natural state in the Target electronics section type? And I know what you’re wondering: if you don’t have an embarrassing moment compliments of your child to share, do I want a story of you yourself mortifying your parents all those years ago?
Yes, yes I do.