10 Confused Infomercial Moms Who Just Don’t Get It

Infomercials take place in an alternative universe where up is down, left is right and no one knows how to do anything without the help of some overpriced, cutely named product with an “As Seen on TV” label. The most inept citizen of Infomercial Land is the infomercial mom. This type of mom is an attractive-but-non-threatening 35-45-year-old middle class woman in mom jeans who just can’t get ANYTHING right.

10. GoJo Hands-Free

GoJo Hands Free

Look at this mom. What would she do without the GoJo Hands-Free dork-o-rama 3000 or whatever it’s called? Only chumps use real hands-free devices. And it’s still more attractive than a Bluetooth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dl3ufZi0GBQ

9. AirCurler

AirCurler

Do you love the look of beautiful, soft curly hair, but lack the common sense to just buy a damn curling iron or some rollers like a normal mom? Well do I have a product for you!

8. Perfect Slicer

Perfect Slicer

If I’ve learned anything from Infomercials, it’s that moms CANNOT figure out how to use a knife. An overly complicated slicing contraption? No problem! A tool that’s been around since before the invention of the wheel? NOPE.

Perfect Slicer 2

So much nope…

7. Jiffy Fries

Jiffy Fries

 

This mom is thinking “Fries are SO HARD. So very, very HARD,” as she cries deeply into her sippy cup of chardonnay.

6. No Spill Chill

No Spill Chill

 

The guy in this infomercial literally says “Oops! Uh oh! Look out! Lets’s face it, getting your ice cube tray from the sink to the freezer is like balancing on a tight rope!” Yup, and washing your dishes is like battling a grizzly bear in the Colorado rapids. Totally the same thing.

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    • Amber Leigh Wood

      The before parts of infomercials are my favorite thing. My friend sent me a clip on Facebook of all the fails in one compilation, made my day

      • Spongeworthy

        I think my favorite is for the thing that sucks the wax out of your ears. They show so many people screaming in pain after using a Q-tip. If you can’t use a Q-tip without giving yourself a traumatic brain injury, I don’t think you should be allowed access to a credit card.

      • Amber Leigh Wood

        I haven’t seen that one! How did it not make the list?

      • coffeeandshoes

        I love that the before parts also always feature people making the greatest dramatic faces like THIS IS THE WORST PROBLEM THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ANYONE EVER AND WHY ME, LORD, WHY ME?

        And man – that compilation sounds AMAZING.

      • WhoremonalCrazyLotusBitch

        Here’s a link!

        http://youtu.be/3eMCURWpNAg

        eh… did Dr. Seuss write infomercials?

      • coffeeandshoes

        AWESOME!!

        And who even cracks eggs like that??

    • libraryofbird

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lKrVWf7mn_Q
      This one makes me crack up. Look for the creepy neighbor! As seen on tv stuff is always good for a giggle!

    • 2Well

      I want that ice cube tray. And possibly the Jiffy fries.

      And I would love a hairdryer that would actually curl my hair. That’s why they have those hot air brushes.

    • Spongeworthy

      It’s obviously Obama’s fault.
      http://media.giphy.com/media/qhLVgABDmcjm/giphy.gif

    • Joye77

      I love the overacting in infomercials!

    • RayneofCastamere

      On the other hand, the cats in the cat brush video seem to be having a good time.

    • ChickenKira

      My favourite one was a recent-ish one about a slicer and they did the whole “knives don’t chop things evenly” thing, while the person was using a cleaver for mushrooms.

    • koolchicken

      OMG, I never knew I NEEDED the perfect slicer so badly. Why have I been using dangerous hard to use knives for so long? I could have been wielding a huge circle with a dozen of them and been much safer cause you know, it has two handles and my knife only has one.

    • Caitlin Burrows

      I’ve always liked the device that allows people to hear things from far away. I swear, an actual selling point of it is, essentially, “Listen to people’s conversations!” Every time I’m watching that, I’m thinking, “You don’t need that think. Just sit closer and act like you’re reading a magazine, or something. That’s what normal people do.”

    • WhoremonalCrazyLotusBitch

      In the interest of full disclosure: I bought the brownie pan that makes perfectly square brownies (awesome) and the earwax sucker (which sucks, and not in a good way).

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      Ok some are these are ridic, but don’t take away my electric Rotato. I use that thing all the frickin’ time. I hate peeling vegetables.

    • Guest

      a) I actually really like the zucchini pasta (I call it zoodles)
      b) I’ll take one of each please.