Detoxing My Kids After Vacation In 8 Easy Steps

shutterstock_152536469My husband and I just finished up a week of vacation together with our kids. We both work full-time so this is not something we get to do much and every year, I forget how difficult it really is to get kids back into some semblance of a normal life after a week of Anything Goes at Nana and Papa’s camp. My kids are currently zoned out on the TV while I write and I sit here twitching knowing the next week is going to be quite difficult because not only were we all off together last week, my husband was off the entire two weeks prior. That means that they have not had to be anywhere by 7:30am for three whole weeks and are now in several bad habits that must be broken quickly if I am to keep my working mom routine humming. See below for how I will be detoxing my kids after vacation:

1. Eliminating Ginger Ale For Breakfast.

My kids do not get soda at home but they know it is readily available at my parent’s camp. We don’t do caffeine but we do allow them to have ginger ale and after a few cocktails, my resolve dies away as they go for their third can in a day. Now, we are done with it and I think my son is going to have the DT’s from the shock.

2. Putting An End To 11pm Bedtimes.

We have camp fires and they love it so much. We can’t very well leave them in the house alone sleeping while we sit outside by the fire unable to hear if anything were to go wrong. So, we all hang out together and they stay up way past their usual 8pm bedtime. I am particularly looking forward to breaking this one. Not.

3. Forcing Them To Bath Daily.

Between our general vacation laziness and the magical cleaning powers of the lake, our kids went four days without a bath this week and were freaking filthy. I am usually an obsessive daily bath kind of mom so this was a miracle of epic proportion to our kids.

4. S’mores And Ice Cream Every Day Is No Longer Happening.

We are not overly strict with desserts but it is definitely not a daily thing at our house. But it is on vacation!

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    • WhoremonalCrazyLotusBitch

      #6!! My son is 8! 8! He should so know better by now, but after a weekend (2 measly days) at our camp site, he whips it out and starts peeing in the neighbor’s garden (which she thought was hilarious despite — maybe because of — my horror).

      …and, off topic, I never noticed how much Bobo from the Bigfoot shows looks like a sloth.

      • Valerie

        Once at 3 years old Ben peed in our lawn in front of people shopping at our garage sale. Klassy!

      • WhoremonalCrazyLotusBitch

        I love it!! I think boys secretly just love to pee freely (I can’t say I disagree).

      • BREEDER

        ahhahahahahhaha

      • Guest

        We only have 1 bathroom in our house so my husband will actually go outside to pee if he needs to. Some man logic about owning the place, leaving a mark, blah blah blah….

      • WhoremonalCrazyLotusBitch

        There should be a book with that title! “Man Logic: Why I Pee in the Front Yard”… magic, I tell you!

      • guest

        My husband has peed in our utility sink (too far to walk upstairs) and outside in the snow (because he can).

    • Megan

      Sad for you vacation is over happy for me bc you’re back!

      • Valerie

        I miss you like the deserts miss the rain.

    • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      I feel this. We detoxed after our va-cay at the start of the month, big time. Late bedtimes every night? HA! That’s my drinking time here at home where I have to pretend to be responsible the rest of the time. ;)

      • BREEDER

        Make everyone unpack,organize and stay up all night the first day back,they will go to sleep by 8pm the next night , well rested and ready for the third/normal day

      • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

        Sounds about like what our plan was the day after, lol.

    • LadyClodia the Modest Rat

      Besides going to my dad’s house for a couple of days the only other vacations we’ve taken with the boys have been to Europe. But those trips are for 2 weeks at a time, and because of that and the time difference I try to keep them as close to their usual schedules as possible; plus, they are both still little. We’ve never had a successful transition to being home from our European trips because something bad or traumatic always happens. (i.e. My husband needing emergency brain surgery 2 days after getting back after the first trip, and then me spraining my right ankle while already having a broken left ankle the day after we got back last year.)
      In a couple of weeks I have to take the boys to my dad’s house for a week because we’re having our upstairs bathroom remodeled, and it should be much easier if we’re not home. My dad and stepmom are good about rules, but of course the boys still get spoiled, and it will be extra hard for them to leave and adjust to being home again, I imagine.

      • BREEDER

        grandparent and others give intense attention ,then give them back for you to fix it, especially if its an infant always being held

      • LadyClodia the Modest Rat

        Mine are a bit older than that now, but yeah. With ours it’s that the grandparents get down and play with them on the floor practically the whole time, but at home I certainly can’t play with them all of the time.

    • Ursi

      If I got used to peeing outside you’d never get me to stop. I love peeing outdoors. It’s so freeing.

      • Valerie

        Ben agrees. He loves whipping it out. Lol

    • Lackadaisical

      So jealous of you Americans and your early summer holidays. Here in the UK we have had some glorious weather but the kids are still in school. The summer holidays start the middle of next week but going on past experience that is when the weather will start to cool down. With the summer weather and long half term English kids are shattered at the moment. I volunteer in a primary school and one of the kids (a 6 year old) fell asleep in class on Friday due to a combination of the muggy heat and just how tired they are. In fairness it was during a DVD while we frantically sorted the classroom and kids records for end of term so we just put a cushion under him. I always get loads of back to school articles to read just as the holidays begin.

      Returning to normal life after a holiday is a pain. My husband likes us to practice early wake up times and bed times the weekend before but I just want to savour the last of my decedent lie ins.

      • K2

        The holidays still aren’t started?? Horrifying! It’s seems they come later each year! Plus the kids never do any work anyway, it’s too hot for that. In France they have way more holidays – I was always jealous. But it’s true the school day is longer..

      • Lackadaisical

        Yes, the kids still have half a week of term left. Not only is it too hot to concentrate (the heatwaves always seem to hit in July then cool down a bit for August) but with school so geared towards SATs now as soon as those are done many schools just wind down as soon as they are out of the way but obviously have to keep attending until they break up.

        I think the summer holidays are shorter than they used to be. I remember 7 week holidays as a kid but now it is officially 5 1/2, although realistically most schools will put teacher training days on one side or the other to extend it to 6 (and sometimes have the teachers come in out of school hours so that they don’t have to come in for those days either). Having said that my mum, who retired as a teacher a couple of years ago, says that the half terms other two holidays have got bigger as the big summer holiday shrinks. I think she said that when I was at school one of the half term holidays was only half a week, for example, but I wouldn’t remember that.

      • tSubh Dearg

        I can’t believe you guys are still in school! The Irish secondary schools have been out since the beginning of June (end of June for those doing exams) and the primary schools finished up around the last week of June. They won’t be back until the end of August/beginning of September. Man I miss long summer holidays :(

    • Sara610

      I completely understand this. I just took my almost-three-year-old to visit my parents for two weeks, and she was spoiled rotten there. Like, pancakes for breakfast every morning, levels of Elmo-DVD-watching that vastly exceed our normal daily limits, and constant attention. We got back yesterday, and the real kicker is that my husband is out of the country for three weeks so it’s just me and her while we re-adjust to our regular routine. Fortunately (knock on wood) she seems to be getting back into the normal swing of things pretty well.

      Also, can I just say how impressed I am at the total lack of judgey, pearl-clutchy comments so far? I was kinda dreading scrolling down to the bottom of the page because I thought for sure someone would be all, “You know, I never have these kinds of problems with my little Cooper and Wilton because WE stick to our routines no matter WHAT!” But so far, none of that. Mommyish is awesome.

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    • Breaker Tesste

      Lol vacation cold turkey