The Father Who Assaulted His Son’s Molester Is A Hero, Not A Criminal

raymond frolander child molesterA 35-year-old father/potential superhero is making news in Daytona Beach, Florida after he caught a man molesting his 11-year-old son and beat the ever loving hell out of him. Moments before the epic beat down the dad had walked in on family friend Raymond Frolander, who was apparently babysitting, assaulting his son. After making mince meat out of Frloander’s smarmy face, the dad (who has yet to be identified) called 911 and told them:

“I just walked in on a grown man molesting [name redacted]. And I got him in a bloody puddle for you right now, officer.”

When the 911 responder asked the dad if any weapons were involved, his answer was priceless: “My foot and fist.” This guy is officially my hero. From The Daily Mail:

He is nice and knocked out on the floor for you, I dragged him into the living room,’ the father said. “Send an ambulance. He is going to need one.” The dispatcher asked: ‘Is he still unconscious?’ to which the father responds: ‘Yes… I hit hard, sir.’

He said that Frolander was a ‘damn lucky boy that I love my God’.

The father added: “He stood up and his pants were around his ankles and nothing else needed to be said. I did whatever I got a right to do except I didn’t kill him.”

I know it’s not entirely PC to laud a man for beating his kid’s abuser up, but considering the lasting damage that child molestation causes (something I am all too familiar with) I think this dad deserves a medal for not killing the guy. According to news reports the abuse has been going on for over three years, since the boy was 8-years-old, which is bad enough. But walking in on it and actually witnessing the abuse had to be the worst moment of this poor father’s life.

Now, before anyone goes on a victim-blamey tirade against the dad for leaving his kid with a pervert, according to Dayton Beach Chief of Police Michael Chitwood, the family had a close relationship with Frolander for years prior to the abuse being discovered. Early reports mistook him for an actual family member. Sometimes these situations are just impossible to prevent. And the dad reacted the way many of us would have in such a situation. According to an interview with Chitwood by The Daily Mail:

“He’s 11 years old, he should be running around outside and playing video games, not dealing with something like this.’

He earlier told the Daytona Beach News-Journal that the father was “just acting like a dad.”

Thankfully it looks like the father will not be charged with anything, which is great in my opinion. Though unfortunately no one seems to be taking my suggestions of a ticker tape parade very seriously. Frolander was taken to an area hospital to put his face back together before being transferred to jail where he was charged with sexual batter of a child under 12.

(Photo: Volusia County Branch Jail)

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    • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      I am not going to lie, I was impressed by dude’s restraint also. I can’t imagine the sense of violation that someone you trusted would hurt your child–I can absolutely see how someone would wind up snapping and inflicting some serious damage if you’re able to.

      • AugustW

        I imagine he will be able to claim temporary insanity if the asshat ends up suing him or whatever. I think that’s probably pretty accurate…if I were in that situation, I would probably see red and go crazy.

    • simoneutecht

      To those who will say violence is never the answer, well it sure was the answer this time. Good for the dad I would’ve done the same if not worse.

    • Obladi Oblada

      Sometimes blind rage just takes over…especially where your kids are concerned.
      My son is about that age and believe me when I say that the man who molested that kid would pray to die before me or my husband got done with him.

    • wispy

      I completely agree and I’m all for a parade. I have nightmares about this happening all the time and in them I always kill the person. I don’t know if I would have as much restraint as this man in real life.

    • WhoremonalCrazyLotusBitch

      Frances, I’m sorry about your suffering and I’m right there with you. To this day (I’m 45) I still have nightmares of being trapped by my abuser. We learn to cope with our experience, but it never ever goes away. This father was totally spot on and the child abuser is lucky he wasn’t beaten to death.

      Here’s my contribution to the parade!

      http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/crazy-celebration.gif

    • Ursi

      Honestly surprised the guy didn’t kill him. I love that he said: “Frolander was a ‘damn lucky boy that I love my God.’” Because that had to be the only thing holding him back from doing worse. I cannot imagine what it would be like for a parent to walk in on someone abusing their child. I just cannot imagine. I am not a violent person but the thought of someone doing that to a child makes me feel violent.

      • LiLi

        I’m fairly certain I would rage blackout and regain rational thought next to a corpse.

    • Lackadaisical

      I am not sure what I think is ethically right here but I do think if I walked in on something like that happening to my 11 year old son that I would probably do much the same. He didn’t kill the guy and made sure an ambulance was coming and quite frankly when protecting our children from something so utterly vile a normal person will react first and think and reason later. I think possibly my only concern is how the kid reacted to witnessing such violence from his father at a point when he was in such a vulnerable state and could possibly have needed reassurance instead of violence (even if not directed at him) as physical and sexual abuse like this is made possible by emotional abuse to manipulate a kid into keeping it a secret. Personally I am not comfortable with glorifying the dad’s reaction but I think it was understandable and natural and I think not prosecuting the father is the right decision.

      • Korine

        I definitely see what you’re saying. While the dads reaction was 100% understandable, justified, and a totally natural response to seeing your child being hurt, the child may have needed another response. My boyfriend always swears that if anyone hurts our daughter that he’ll wind up in jail bc of what he does to the person. And while I get that urge, I remind him that she’ll need her father around to help pick up the pieces more than she’ll need the drama of a father in prison on top of recovering from her assault. (It’s sad that we have to have these discussions but, like someone else mentioned, you can’t always prevent these things from happening.)

      • Guest

        I remember Oprah did a show awhile back about a dad who found out his friend had raped his daughter. He went and found the guy and killed him. They asked him if he would do it again and he said no because he missed out on his daughter growing up, getting married, and having kids. My first thought when I saw this was I hope doesn’t go to jail too. I’m sure each case has different circumstances but best to let him go to prison and have someone already in there finish the job for you.

      • LiLi

        Yeah, but different scenario since the Oprah case required a level of planning and premeditation. There are a host of laws that would protect the dad in the above scenario from going to jail, and I can’t imagine a jury convicting him. As for the kid, considering what that child was going through, I would have to say that seeing his dad get violent with the man is the least of the child’s problems.

      • ScienceGeek

        I’m hoping that it helped the child. Firstly because he’d see his just how weak his personal monster is, perhaps even hurt the way he’d threatened to hurt the kid’s family, and secondly because frankly, there isn’t a more emphatic demonstration of whose side the father is on, who he blames, and how wrong that behaviour is. As others have said, there’s too many cases of parents covering this kind of thing up, or blaming the child. I’m sure his dad would have given him ALL the love and reassurance later.
        I have the feeling that if they HAD prosecuted the father, even his fellow prisoners would have treated him like a hero. Personally, I may have cheered a little when I saw that mug-shot.

    • 2Well

      The dad can be comforted by the fact that child molesters have a difficult time of it in prison. A quick death would have been too merciful.

    • Jezebeelzebub

      I don’t think pedophiles should be jailed. I think they should be shot- no firing squad, just a small tile room with a drain in the floor. There are never mitigating circumstances where *maybe* a perv didn’t MEAN TO molest a kid- if you are an adult and you are sexually excited by children, your brain is broken and *I* don’t believe it can be fixed or altered. *I* think you should be put down. Fuck therapy, you’re done.

      That’s how I feel about that.

      • Psych Student

        I get where you’re coming from and I don’t disagree, I just want to note that there are non-offending pedophiles. They are people who never offend and spend their entire lives fighting off urges that are no more changeable than same sex attractions. Non-offending pedophiles have an extremely difficult time finding therapy due to mandated reporting laws. It’s heartbreaking.

      • Jezebeelzebub

        non-offending pedophiles are non-offensive, I guess. I’m not advocating hunting down people who just think about doing bad things. I think about doing bad things fairly often but I don’t do them. But you’re right- I’m sure it IS hard for people like that to find therapy… but I don’t know what could be done to make it easier for them. All I’m saying is that once consideration becomes action, the moral Rubicon has been crossed and *I* have no compassion for someone like that. I just don’t.

      • guest

        This is illogical.

      • Jezebeelzebub

        yeah.

      • WhoremonalCrazyLotusBitch

        Being sexually attracted to children is illogical. Acting on it is monstrous. Being angry, disgusted and experiencing blind rage in response to this kind of terminal sickness that affects hundreds of thousands of children? No, not illogical at all.

      • guest

        It’s something that people can’t help. I don’t think pedophilia is right, but to say that pedophilia is illogical makes no sense, nor does it solve any problems.

      • WhoremonalCrazyLotusBitch

        As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse who is still (40 years later) struggling with nightmares I’d like to say:

        http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/bye.gif

        …for being an insensitive douche-canoe.

      • Jezebeelzebub

        People can help what they do. If they (meaning pedophiles) choose to molest children, then I think at the very least they deserve to have their brain-pan ventilated, with the very least possible amount of ceremony involved.

    • Kelly

      I can’t blame the guy. I have a 13 year old, if I walked in and found an adult man on top of him, I’d beat the shit out of him too. He’d be lucky if he didn’t get stabbed.

    • Ava

      Under the circumstances, the only reason I think I would hold back is because I wouldn’t want my child to see me beat someone to death. That dad may love his God but I think men like Frolander are better off meeting Him.

      • AP

        On the contrary, I think it’s good for the kid to see their parent sticking up for their best interests.

      • Guest

        I think it is one thing for your kid to see you sticking up for their interests and another for them to watch a man get beaten to death in front of them.

      • Kelly

        Well, it’s a good thing he didn’t beat this guy to death then. :)

        I would have loved to see someone come in and beat the hell out of my abusers, even kill them. I used to fantasize about it.

    • keelhaulrose

      I’m not keen on going to prison, but I’d go with my head held high if I did what this guy did. If anyone abuses my kids they better hope it’s me who catches them and not my husband, because they’d probably survive what I laid on them, but they probably wouldn’t survive my husband.
      Send this dad my way, I want to buy him a few rounds.

    • Katherine Handcock

      I’m not going to celebrate what he did, because I don’t believe that degree of violence was necessary, but I’m sure not going to tell him what he did was wrong! Honestly, how can anybody say how they would react to that? And the fact that he made sure to call an ambulance for him tells me a lot about this man’s integrity and ethics.

      • Jezebeelzebub

        to say nothing of his self-control. i dont think i could have stopped myself.they’d be taking his ass to the morgue in a fucking dixie-cup.

    • BVence1943

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    • AugustW

      I probably wouldn’t be able to do that kind of damage to a person, but if I walk in on somebody abusing my daughter, they better hope there isn’t anything sharp and pointy nearby.

    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

      I think the only thing that would prevent me from doing the same level of violence in such a situation is my weak physicality. I’m impressed he held himself in check enough to stop short of killing him, and also making the 911 call himself, not only getting the man an ambulance but also openly declaring his end of things to the authorities and allowing the chips to fall where they may. That’s a lot of love and integrity.

    • Kat

      A distant relative (like no blood relation only related through marriage type of relative) was found to be a child molester. When the victim’s parents found out they beat the ever living h*** out of the guy — then called the cops. They didn’t get in trouble. The law is willing to look the other way when it comes to the parents getting a few punches in.

    • Quinn Skye

      I can’t judge. I probably would’ve killed him.

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