If You Drive Drunk With Your Kids In The Car, You Deserve To Lose Them Forever

stop drunk drivingFlorida Connecticut mom Michelle Dion was arrested this week after a quick thinking McDonald’s employee reported her to police for being “extremely drunk” in the drive-thru with her toddler daughter in the back seat. The amount of class in that last sentence is just staggering, isn’t it? But all jokes aside, if you’re the type of parent who even considers getting into a car with your kids when you’re drunk, I am perfectly fine with going full sanctimommy on you. And if you drink drunk with your kids, I think you absolutely deserve to lose custody of them. For good.

According to NBC Connecticut, the 28-year-old mom drunkenly drove through the drive-thru at approximately 7:30 p.m. on Wednesday. So Dion already has “day drinking” and “being shit faced on a week night” marked off on her “Are You a Piece of Trash?” bingo card. (*Edited to add day drinking or week day drinking alone isn’t trashy, but when you add that to drunk driving plus drinking just out of rehab, it’s pretty awful* )An employee realized that the young mom was intoxicated and quickly called 911 to report her. From NBC:

Police identified the woman as Michelle Dion, 28, of Springfield, Massachusetts, and said she was “extremely intoxicated.”

She told officers she’d had two glasses of wine earlier in the day and had driven from Hammonasset State Park with her daughter to get food, according to the police report.

Dion failed several field sobriety tests, refused a Breathalyzer test and was slurring her words, according to police. When  asked to recite the alphabet, she stopped at “v.”

HA! The old “I only had two drinks” line. News flash: this bullshit never works.

Thankfully the baby had no injuries, but who knows what might have happened had that McDonald’s employee not cared enough to make that call. According to NBC Dion has been sent to a rehabilitation facility, but considering she just left another rehab last week, I don’t think bodes well for mother or child. And I don’t think that baby should have to deal with the ramifications of her mother’s obvious disease.

Full disclosure, I come from a family of alcoholics, and being driven around by boozy adults is a common memory from my childhood. Thankfully I was never in an accident, but thousands of people, hundreds of them children, are killed in drunk driving accidents every year. And the funny thing about addiction is that relapses are a common part of recovery. They are expected. And along with a relapse comes all that bad behavior that one partakes in while drunk. Which unfortunately often includes drunk driving for.

I’m not saying all alcoholics should lose their kids. Not every alcoholic drives drunk, and not every drunk driver drives with their kids in the car. But from personal experience I’ve seen that when you do drink drunk, you tend to repeat this behavior, and that’s not a habit kids should be dying over.

(Photo: Filipe Frazao/Shutterstock)

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    • ami

      Well written! But just to play devil’s advocate, would you say the same for a parent who exposes their child to tobacco smoke? The potential hazard, unlike in the case of alcoholism, is not so drastic but it is very much a threat to the child’s well-being (life in some instances). Also, as you stated, not every alcoholic will drive drunk or do that with a child in the car, though the probability of doing it is certainly high, but secondhand smoke is pervasive, insidious and definitely a proven hazard.

      • Kelly

        I think, just like drinking, there are parents who smoke responsibly and parents who don’t.

        I have friends who smoke and they do it outdoors or by an open window. They would never smoke in a car with the windows up making their kids choke on it. Then there are people like my parents who chain smoked inside providing a disgusting, stinking, unhealthy environment for their children who all had breathing problems from a very young age.

      • ami

        Sorry that you and your siblings had to go through that. I wish people would stop being gullible and see tobacco and its marketing for what it is: slickly packaged addiction, disease and death, and not some expression of personal liberty, rebellion, or glamour.

      • Kelly

        People don’t keep smoking because they think it’s glamorous or makes them a rebel.

        They keep smoking because they’re addicted.

        I started smoking as a teenager because that’s what adults do in the community I was raised in. It was very hard to quit. I sure didn’t smoke for years because I thought I was cool. I grew to hate it but it is an addiction. One that took years and several attempts to overcome.

        Addiction doesn’t just vanish when someone becomes a parent or realizes tobacco companies suck.

      • JenH1986

        my husband has been trying since we met to quit. He’ll quit for months at a time and then pick it up. I have clients who have kicked heroin or meth (they are nearing 10 years of sobriety) and can’t quit smoking. It’s not as simple as knowing what it does to make someone stop. My husband KNOWS it will kill him, he KNOWS his breathing sucks because of it. He still smokes.

      • Guest

        My boyfriend overcame a 10 year addiction to painkillers and has 5 years clean. Cannot quit smoking. It’s such a terrible addiction.

      • brebay

        There’s a level of responsible drinking, though (and I’m saying that as a teetotaler,) but there really is no such thing as “responsible smoking.”

      • jo

        In some situations I do feel like cps should get involved, especially when a child comes into the ER with asthma due to *allergies* and the whole family smells like a giant walking ashtray

      • Spiderpigmom

        As 1- a kid of the seventies whose parents thought nothing of smoking in the car (or anywhere else) 2- a former abused child: you are utterly ridiculous if you think smoking parents warrant the intervention of CPS. Yeah, it’s not exactly good parenting but abuse? Gah. I can’t even.

      • jo

        Did i say all smoking parents? IF the child is an known asthmatic. IF the parents do not give a shit and continue to light up in front of them. Then hell yes, something needs to be done. I’m sorry you ‘can’t even’ understand how serious and life I threatening this is for some kids

      • jo

        In some situations I do feel like cps should get involved, especially when a child comes into the ER with asthma due to *allergies* and the whole family smells like a giant walking ashtray

      • Ursi

        I don’t think you can compare the long-term danger of secondhand smoke to the immediate danger of drunk driving. That’s really not fair. Drunk driving has the potential to kill someone instantly. We should be much harsher on people who drive intoxicated than those who smoke in the house.

    • keelhaulrose

      While I agree that this woman is trashy and needs to do some major soul searching, can we please not label everyone who “day drinks” or gets drunk during a weekday as trashy? I once had a neighbor confront me about my husband’s alcoholism because she often saw him out at nine in the morning, mowing the lawn or working on a car with a beer. Except he worked nights, so his nine in the morning was a 9 to 5ers 7 in the evening. And Wednesday/Thursday was our weekend.
      Still, he didn’t drive. And this woman is ultra shitty for doing so with her own kid in the car.

      • http://www.ambiencechaser.com/ Elizabeth Licata

        Oh god. Do you live in Indiana? I think your neighbor is a relative of mine.

      • keelhaulrose

        Nope, Illinois, so close but no cigar.
        That woman was nuts. We had been finding AA pamphlets stuffed in the mail slot for a while, but she never confronted him (probably because he’s six and half feet tall, 300 pounds, and looks like a biker). She only confronted me when we hosted a bunch of his friends from work and some neighbors who worked night shift over for a barbeque at nine in the morning and served beer and some mixed drinks. She didn’t want a congregation of alcoholics on her street, and told us to find Jesus.
        You’d think in a neighborhood where the vast majority of people are doing shift work she’d realize not everyone keeps on a “regular” schedule.

      • http://www.ambiencechaser.com/ Elizabeth Licata

        Ugh, that’s so unacceptable. I can’t even imagine having to live next to someone like that. I guess she probably would have thought it was better for everyone to drink immediately before work than to have beer at a barbecue right after getting off a night shift.

      • Rowan

        Find Jesus? The dude that can turn water into wine? Good call!

      • Kelly

        We had the same experience for a few years when my husband had a weird schedule. People acted like we were pieces of shit for having our son up at midnight. Well, excuse us for adjusting the family’s schedule so we could spend time with my husband. That was more important to us than meeting the neighbors’ standards of an acceptable bedtime.

      • Alanna Jorgensen

        THANK YOU. my daughter’s bedtime is currently 11:30 because I work days and don’t get home until 6:30 or 7pm, and her father works night and sometimes doesn’t get home until 3 or 4 in the morning. This way I get time with her and he gets some sleep.

      • http://flockeoseagulls.flavors.me/ Frances Frumpy Mumps Locke

        The point of calling it a spot on a bingo card is that you gotta hit a few of them to hit bingo (ie: be trashy). Day drinking alone isn’t trashy, but day drinking PLUS drinking and driving PLUS having your kid in the car IS trashy.

      • Kgamis

        Once again…thank you for updating us on our checklist of what is right. Thank God that he sent you to us for guidance.

    • Kelly

      I don’t have any sympathy for these parents but what are you going to do with all the displaced children? That’s the awful reality of the situation.

      This happens a lot more than people want to admit. We don’t have the resources to just take all these kids away.

      Also, I don’t like being called trash because I’ll “day drink” from time to time or party on a weekday. I’ve never driven drunk in my life. I don’t endanger my children. I really don’t deserve that label.

      • Cruelty Cupcake

        Day drinking is one of life’s simple pleasures.

      • Kelly

        It really is. We grilled burgers for lunch yesterday and I thoroughly enjoyed the beer I drank with the meal. So much so that I had a second. I had nowhere to go and nothing to do so I don’t see anything wrong with that.

      • Greg

        A 125 pound woman who has 2 wines with lunch can fail the .08 test.

      • jo

        I don’t think she meant to offend people who casually drink during the day, but the copious amount this woman most likely drank ( probably not a one-time deal either) that earned her the trashy title.

      • http://flockeoseagulls.flavors.me/ Frances Frumpy Mumps Locke

        This is exactly what I meant. Day drinking in and of itself isn’t trashy at all. Day drinking all day at the beach with your kid in tow, knowing you gotta drive home with her and then getting in the car IS trashy though.

      • Kgamis

        So I think that you should publish YOUR “guide to living” so that we can all make sure that we follow it. You apparently have very specific guidelines, and they likely change as your experiences do. That way, you can feel good about yourself and your choices.

      • http://flockeoseagulls.flavors.me/ Frances Frumpy Mumps Locke

        If you drive drunk, you’re a piece of garbage. Period. If you defend people who drive drunk, you’re still a piece of garbage. Day drink all you want, I sure do. But what I don’t do is get in my car and put the lives of hundreds of other innocent people at risk. People who do that deserve to lose their license, and if they do it with their kids in the car, they deserve whatever punishment the law is going to give out.

      • Kgamis

        Karma’s a bitch…be careful.

      • Kgamis

        So when you “day drink”, whatever that is…who drives you home??

      • Kgamis

        Let me explain something to you…me telling you that your points are stupid in no way defends drunk drivers. Drunk driving is against the law and rightly so, and the law has consequences, all consequences which have been set by law…NONE of which say you automatically lose your child because you got a DUI.

      • Kgamis

        You must sleep really well with such a well defined way to lead your life tucked away.

      • Joepalooka1

        agree w drive ‘drunk’ at .08 (or even .1 where it likely would still be to accurately reflect impairment if not for the emotional argument that so often rules this discussion ).

      • Kgamis

        So where is the judgment line? Where YOU draw it? Where SHE draws it? Mind your own business and draw your own lines.

      • http://flockeoseagulls.flavors.me/ Frances Frumpy Mumps Locke

        I can’t believe you’re defending drunk drivers. I’m guessing this hit close to home. If you drive drunk, you deserve to lose your license,plain and simple.

      • Kgamis

        I am not defending drunk drivers. I am telling you that you are ignorant for sitting back and thinking that you are going to solve it by calling someone trash.

      • Blueathena623

        She didn’t call anyone trash. She made a joke about it being on a bingo card. Unless you are hitting several other categories on this magical bingo card, you are not trash.

      • http://flockeoseagulls.flavors.me/ Frances Frumpy Mumps Locke

        Exactly! It’s the day drinking plus drunk driving that makes it trashy. And as anyone who reads my stuff knows, I am the last one to genuinely judge anyone for day drinking!

      • Guest

        Well, presumably it’s only things she find questionable that would even be on this bingo card. She’s still calling the activities trashy. She’s back peddling now. I mean, it’s not really a big deal what some blogger says because I can just not read her (as I stated before) but its annoying nonetheless.

      • http://flockeoseagulls.flavors.me/ Frances Frumpy Mumps Locke

        Every time anyone tries to clarify their point or even evolve their point there are folks who will cry “back peddling.” It makes it impossible for people to discuss anything in a level-headed manner. The point is that if you’re day drinking AND drunk driving, the day drinking is way more likely to be a problematic symptom of alcoholism, rather than simply due to a weird schedule or whatever. Hell, I day drink on occasion, and I’ve written about it on this very site. But I don’t then drink and drive, and I don’t have an alcohol addiction I’m refusing to treat, so it’s not the same thing.

        If you day drink and aren’t doing this shit, then its NOT the same thing. Are you defending this woman? I’m guessing no, but if you don’t see the difference between having a few drinks in the day because you work a night shift and getting plastered during the day with your kid in tow, then I don’t know what else to say.

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      • Blueathena623

        Ok, I know it’s dumb to pull the “in mah day” card, but it really feels like there are more and more commenters who can’t see the forest for the trees.

      • Kgamis

        You only have to backpedal (notice the spelling, folks) when you wholeheartedly renounce someone else’s actions just because you haven’t experienced the situation YET. Be very careful before you say “I would never!” …Karma’s a bitch.

      • http://flockeoseagulls.flavors.me/ Frances Frumpy Mumps Locke

        Personally, I have a medical condition that precludes me from having a license that is entirely separate from this issue, but Nope, I can say with the utmost conviction, after living the hellish nightmare I lived with a drunk who continuously drove shit faced with me in the car, that I will never, ever get behind the wheel drunk.

        I’m guessing this is something YOU do, hence the personal attacks on other comments. I truly hope I’m wrong, but if you drive drunk, especially when kids in the car, please consider getting help.And if you’re the same person sending me personal attacks via email, please stop.

      • Kgamis

        Once again, you rush to judgment. You assume that because I disagree with your opinion, that I must drive drunk. You have no idea how ignorant that is.

      • Kgamis

        I have only signed up to reply to your posts within the last half hour, so any emails that you have received are not from me. If you can’t stand the heat, then don’t post contentious articles. Get another job.

      • Mikerrr

        “I can say with the utmost conviction, after living the hellish nightmare I lived with a drunk who continuously drove shit faced with me in the car, that I will never, ever get behind the wheel drunk.”

        No, you can’t. You don’t even have a driver’s license, by your own admission. So you can’t possibly say what you would or wouldn’t do if you did have one. You can say what you’d *hope* that you would or wouldn’t do. But, that’s as far as you could go. We all often fail to live up to our own standards for one reason or another. You included. I’m pretty sure there are things you have done or will do that many would consider grounds for taking away your kids. As another poster said, be careful what you wish for because Karma is indeed a bitch.

      • Joepalooka1

        you sound of ‘right mind’ to me.

      • scrodz

        It seems like you would save us all a lot of time by not judging people to start with, but maybe that’s just me…

      • Blueathena623

        Ok, Frances is seriously not the only person who finds all day day-drinking and getting shit faced on a weekday trashy. For every person who is having a few glasses of wine on a Wednesday, there is a dude on COPS who is blitzed by 2 on a Thursday.

      • K2

        All I’m hearing is ‘whine whine whine’. Some things become trashy only as a combo, so, no – one activity would not need to be considered questionable by itself to be trashy with others.

      • http://flockeoseagulls.flavors.me/ Frances Frumpy Mumps Locke

        It was just a joke. I’ve been known on occasion to day drink. It’s the day drinking plus drunk driving that makes is trashy.

      • Kgamis

        Oh…so let me understand this correctly…As long as YOU think it is OK, it is OK. When you think otherwise, you will let us know?

      • http://flockeoseagulls.flavors.me/ Frances Frumpy Mumps Locke

        I edited the post to clarify my point about day drinking only being trashy when you add that to drunk driving, just wanted to let you know. Sorry for the confusion!

      • Kgamis

        OK…thanks for the update of our moral standards…let us know as you revise them.

      • Joepalooka1

        THX for being pragmatic w your viewpoint, allowing that social drinking, whether during the day or the evening, is fine (when so many are so strident in their opinion and opposed to social drinking altogether).

    • Frannie

      My grandfather was an alcoholic and used to drive totally plastered with us in the car. It truly is a marvel that his cirrhosis killed him before he killed anyone himself.

    • Guest

      I may stop reading Frances Locke after that prudish bit of sanctimony she just dropped on us. I agree fully with her stance on drunk driving with kids, but to flat out call someone who drinks during the day or on weekdays “trash” was really rude. I work Friday and Saturday overnights and then one additional day during the week. If my husband and I go out, it’s probably a Monday. And sometimes we BBQ during the day and (omg) drink!

      • Véronique the Attachment Shark

        oooh the whole “I will never read your articles again!!” tantrumy threat. Hey, don’t let the door kick you on your way out ;).

      • Kelly

        She has a point though. It was pretty bitchy and rude.

      • Guest

        ?

      • batgirl

        Lately it seems like people get super offended and hung-up on one tiny aspect of an article, it seems like that’s all the comments section is anymore, people bitching about every. little. thing. Do you go ape shit on people IRL when you don’t like every word that comes out of their mouth? Fucking get over it.

      • Kelly

        Eh, people in real life don’t usually make statements calling large groups of people trash unless they know the people they’re talking to quite well.

        I would definitely ask someone if they really thought I was trash if they made a comment like that. I wouldn’t go ape shit but I would call them out on it.

      • http://flockeoseagulls.flavors.me/ Frances Frumpy Mumps Locke

        I wasn’t calling anyone who simply day drinks trashy though. The whole point of bingo is that you gotta hit multiple squares to win (ie: be labled trashy, which isnt really winning, but I digress). I apologize if that wasn’t clear.

      • batgirl

        I day drink as well, on occasion, certainly more before I had kids and worked night shift. But somehow I was able to make it through this article without being offended. Maybe it’s because I understand that she was only calling this this woman trashy because of all the trashy things that day, not solely because of the drinking. Or maybe it’s because I don’t have a whiney bitchy disposition. IDK

      • Guest

        I sure would reconsider interacting with someone who made that statement IRL. And I would tell them why.

      • Guest

        And…ape shit? Someone else called it a tantrum? These words don’t come close to describing my comment.

      • Blueathena623

        She didn’t call them trash. It’s a bingo card. You don’t get a bingo with only two things. That’s how it works.
        In other words, lighten up.

      • http://flockeoseagulls.flavors.me/ Frances Frumpy Mumps Locke

        Thank you!

      • http://flockeoseagulls.flavors.me/ Frances Frumpy Mumps Locke

        Jeez. The whole point of a bingo card is that you gotta hit more than one to hit bingo and be trashy. Day drinking isn’t trashy, but day drinking AND drunk driving with your kid IS. Sorry if I wasn’t clear, but I figured everyone knew what bingo was and that you gotta hit multiple points to hit it, lol.

      • Guest

        The bingo thing doesn’t make it less rude, but whatever. Carry on.

      • http://flockeoseagulls.flavors.me/ Frances Frumpy Mumps Locke

        How so? Day drinking alone isn’t a problem whatsoever. Day drinking to then drive drunk after leaving rehab is the problem. She wasn’t day drinking because she works a night shift. She was day drinking because she’s an unrepentant alcoholic who cares more about getting her drink on than her baby or the hundreds of other people on the road.

        Sorry, maybe my history of being abused by another unrepentant alcoholic makes me a little bitter about this issue.

    • CW

      There are Breathalyzer locks that can be installed on the car and alcohol-monitoring anklets. Both of those should be mandatory. But I wouldn’t put the kids into the foster care system because that just makes a bad situation worse. How many kids have gotten killed by abusive or neglectful foster parents? How many more foster kids ran off and wound up on the streets or even worse as sex slaves?

    • Rachel

      I’m probably a jerk, but I think that a DUI offense should result in >10 years of suspended driving privileges (assuming there are no other legal infractions) along with community service hours spent at hospitals/morgues/etc., neither of which would be negotiable regardless of circumstance/economic status.

      • JenH1986

        I think that’s acceptable for a 2nd offense or for an aggravated first offense. I don’t condone drinking and driving but there are so many ways to get “caught” for example if you use mouthwash with alcohol and immediately take a breathalyzer you will blow over a .3. Which means if you take one shot, a single shot and then drive home, you will blow over a .08 even if in reality your BAC is less than .08

      • Rachel

        I’m assuming in that kind of zero-tolerance policy scenario there would be the option of getting a blood test at that time. I don’t think ensuring that the Bad Luck Brians of the world aren’t inconvenienced with unnecessary blood work is worth giving even a second chance to people who willfully drive intoxicated. It doesn’t take a 2nd offense to kill people.

      • brebay

        I think a first offense should brink 30 days in jail as well. So many people don’t take anything seriously unless they get locked up for it. No way you should get one “freebie.” on driving drunk.

      • Ab reads

        We can agree on this.

      • brebay

        Uh, okay, I’m missing something…

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    • Guest

      My kids dad drive drunk with our daughter when she was a baby. I called 911 and they said “What do you want us to do about it?” I was so pissed. Since he was in my car they told me to go to the police station the next day and report it stolen. He has since straightened up and gotten help for his alcohol problems but this is one thing that will always stick out in my mind especially because of the response from the police.

      Glad this situation turned out well and the baby wasn’t harmed.

    • Cee

      I will not judge anyone that drinks, or whatever time they drink, but I will judge the crap out of anyone who drinks and drives.
      I get so enraged at everyone that shrugs off DUIs with “who hasn’t driven drunk or tipsy?” You know the stories of people who get into horrible accidents where the only survivor is the drunk driver that enrage everyone? That driver thought exactly like that.

      • http://flockeoseagulls.flavors.me/ Frances Frumpy Mumps Locke

        My point with the day drinking joke was that it’s part of a bingo card, and if you hit a bunch of those (day drinking plus DUIs, plus kids in the car, plus drinking on a Wednesday, plus just out of rehab) that’s when you get labled trashy. I guess this wasn’t clear.

      • footnotegirl

        I’ll raise my hand here. Me. I have never driven drunk or tipsy. I’ll even double down on it. My spouse, he has never driven drunk or tipsy. Not driving drunk or tipsy is super easy to do! If you have more than one serving of alcohol in an hour, or without food, you don’t get behind the wheel.

      • brebay

        That statement pisses me off more than anything, and drunk drivers actually believe that when they say it. Millions of adults don’t even drink, and many more who do have NEVER driven drunk. Until this mindset changes, drunk drivers will keep getting a slap on the wrist until they actually kill somebody.

    • DJ reads

      I believe in rehabilitation and forgiveness. People can heal with the right treatment and support. Removing a child for a time might be necessary, but to say “forever”??? No. I disagree.

    • ab reads

      This article/ blog..whatever is simply ridiculous and offensive to myself and the other 3 million people who suffer from addiction in the U.S. Volunteer, get active, give others hope that recovery is possible. It is ignorance such as this that deter others for seeking help. Most addicts aren’t strong enough to face the comments and criticism so they do nothing. They get worse! They loose hope! Drunk driving is horrible, agreed. But your solution to a parent who drinks then drives there children is worse. Separate a child from a sick parent FOREVER, are you serious?

      Let’s be safe and say of the 3 million addicts, half of them have children. What are you proposing we do with these children? Are your going to help? Are you going to volunteer? Or will keep spewing your crappy opinions for others to dread? It is your ignorance that infuriates me, your blatant disregard to educate yourself on solutions. This is just sad. Your opinion is crap but at least I didn’t call you trashy.

      • WhoremonalCrazyLotusBitch

        So it’s ok for a drunk driving mother to take a risk on losing her child forever in an accident, but let someone who cares more about her kid’s health and well being threaten to take them away because of her own DEADLY BEHAVIORS… That’s going too far?

        It’s not France’s job to troubleshoot and write a bill that covers all the bases. It is her job to offer her perspective, to open the door to intelligent debate. Some of the best solutions to horrible problems start off as imperfect, yet potentially effective ideas.

        …and BTW, she IS doing something… She wrote this article, opening a conversation. Frances and all the other contributors take the time everyday to help Moms (and mommyish people) become better, more open minded and less uptight parents. There is an option for you: Submit your own article, but beware… There are people who will disagree with you and bash the crap out of you for it. Talk about walking a mile.

      • Ab reads

        “Trashy” “piece of shit” how is that, by any stretch of the imagination helping? Lending your perspective shouldn’t come with labels. The Article is offensive. PERIOD! There is no room for an “intelligent” debate when your perspective is judgmental and harsh. People make mistakes and often, and in my experience, when these mistakes are made…you learn and grow. Maybe…just maybe that accident will stop that mother from drinking and driving again.
        I m bashing this crappy article because it’s crap that no one should listen to. It offers nothing!

      • WhoremonalCrazyLotusBitch

        Perhaps you missed the “bingo” card reference. Seems like a lot of rangers did. Keep reading down thread (I don’t think I’ll reinvent the wheel, here) to perhaps gain some balanced perspective on the “trash” comment.

      • Ab reads

        BTW I contribute many article to many respectable publications on top of being a published author myself. Just saying….

      • WhoremonalCrazyLotusBitch

        I’d love to read some, please post links! Mommyish is good with links.

      • Ab reads

        I’ m not sure we are on the same level whoremonalcrazylotus bitch. I respectfully decline to submit on Mommyish…I was forwarded the link to this article from a frustrated colleague who has spent many exhausting hours lobbying congress to address the gaps in substance abuse treatment and erasing the stigma. I’ve never heard of Mommyish till last night and I’m beginning to understand why.

      • WhoremonalCrazyLotusBitch

        I see. I was just asking for links to your own published articles.

      • batgirl

        she didn’t say that all addicts should have their children taken away from them, but if you drink and drive with your child then its definitely on the table. Also, the child’s welfare should come first before your feelings and inability to deal with comments on the internet. If your grip on reality is so tenuous that you can’t emotionally handle someone making negative comments on a person who drives drunk with their child, maybe you are too unstable to be taking care of children.

      • Ab reads

        All addicts are unstable batgirl. They don’t have a grip on reality. That’s the point. Their judgment is off and mistakes and poor choices take over. Thankfully, someone interceded for this mother and the child wasn’t physically injured. The question still remains what are we doing to treat the problem? Take away the children does not solve the problem. If anything it creates more of the same confusion and discontentment. Treat the problem, help the problem, don’t add to the problem. Remove the children UNTIL the mother can receive the care and treatment she needs and is stable enough to make the right choice.
        I’ll say it again this level of ignorance and intolerance is exactly what is wrong the world today. I formulate my opinions on experience, education and empathy. There are consequences to everything. Guilt, shame, remorse all words in an addicts venacular.
        And footnotgirl, it is about addicts when you write ” and the funny thing about addiction is the relapse” I don t know anyone laughing who is actively using drugs or alcohol. “Relapse is expected” says who? That is ludicrous!!!!!
        Look, I have yet to meet the perfect person and I highly doubt I am corresponding with one now.

      • XDeRubicon

        You have to have someone who’s willing and able to act. In my case, we were getting divorced, so I used her getting popped for DUI with the kids in the car as grounds to get sole custody and require supervised visitation. I took a lot of heat for it, but it was something that I felt that I needed to do to protect our children. In the bigger picture, society only acts after a transgression, and the only solution is to take the kids away if there is no other family to take responsibility for them. That said, I don’t think the forever penalty is ever handed out lightly. My understanding is that it’s only after many many offenses. In my case, now that my ex is sober and responsible (and has been so for a while), the supervised visitation has to go away, and eventually so will the sole custody.

      • Ab reads

        Finally a logical, rational thinker. In my opinion, you did the absolute best thing for your children. While trying not to deny you ex. No one in recovery or active addiction has the intention to harm their children. It’s ridiculous to believe otherwise. The children are the casualties to the addiction and it is very sad. I think we all can agree drunk driving is dangerous, selfish and unnecessary. But it happens.

      • XDeRubicon

        My challenge is trying to decide when to lighten up. I know that it wasn’t her plan, but I fully expected that we would share custody and co-parent our children as equals. It’s that first DUI that she kept hidden from me that gives me pause. I’ve dialed back the supervision voluntarily with a verbal agreement that she comes in and visits a bit before and after taking the kids. It’s a good time for us to get together as parents, but my main goal is to assess her state. I’ve done my best to keep it respectful, but I know that if it was me, at some point I’d rebel. My only real protection is that she’s can’t afford to mount a significant legal challenge.

      • Kgamis

        What about a person who doesn’t feed their child nutritional food? That is dangerous too. Should they lose their child? What about a parent who doesn’t vaccinate their child? That is endangering their child AND children around them. What about a parent that disciplines their child in a way that YOU don’t think is appropriate? You better hope that you are in agreement with the folks making the laws!

      • Ab reads

        Totally agree with all of this.

      • Kgamis

        yes she did say that

      • footnotegirl

        Sorry, no. This isn’t against addicts, this is saying that people who endanger their children in a completely avoidable way should not get their children back. Addiction is horrible, it is, but nothing about being an alcoholic requires that you put your child in a car and drive with them. Maybe you cant make the choice not to drink? But as far as I understand it, driving isn’t an addiction and you can make the choice not to get behind the wheel. If you endanger your child through your own irresponsible behavior, you do not deserve to have a child. Period.

      • Ab reads

        And footnotgirl, it is about addicts when you write ” and the funny thing about addiction is the relapse” I don t know anyone laughing who is actively using drugs or alcohol. “Relapse is expected” says who? That is ludicrous!!!!!
        Look, I have yet to meet the perfect person and I highly doubt I am corresponding with one now.

      • footnotegirl

        I didn’t write “and the funny thing about addiction is the relapse”, the original author did. You are putting words in my mouth. So please, try to pay attention to what conversation we’re actually having.
        I hardly think that it takes a ‘perfect person’ to not intentionally put a chid in danger, and getting behind a wheel after drinking IS INTENTIONALLY PUTTING A CHILD IN DANGER. Not to mention everyone else on the road with you. I can be imperfect (which I am) and not put a child in danger intentionally.
        For the record, even if a person ISN’T an alcoholic, I think they should have their child taken away from them for driving with them while intoxicated.

      • Ab reads

        Ok…try to stay with me. I WAS quoting the original blogger. You, stated that “it” wasn’t about addiction and I was pointing out that it was. Talk to someone about addiction before you start making policies on what “we” should do. Educate yourself…please.

      • pugwuver

        I’m very glad this world has been blessed with such a self righteous person as yourself. God help you if you ever need any empathy or help. Oh wait… you will never need that because from what I read you are darn near perfect. Ok the rest of us can go lick our wounds from simply being human not superhuman as you are.

      • footnotegirl

        If all it takes to be perfect is to not drive drunk with a child in the car? Then I guess you have me dead to rights. I’m practically a deity.
        But let’s try reality. A person who gets behind the wheel not ONLY intoxicated, but with a defenseless child in the car with them? Is not simply ‘imperfect’ or someone who has made a ‘mistake’. That’s someone through their own actions intentionally putting a child (and everyone else on the road) at risk.
        I mean, come ON. It’s laughable that anyone would think that you’d have to be superhuman not to drink and drive with a child in your car. Is it so very much to ask? The vast majority of people do not do this.

      • brebay

        Suffer all you want, but you put your kids in the car and drive drunk, it’s not about you anymore.

      • RW

        Oh boo-fucking-hoo. What do you propose is done when people under the influence of drugs or alcohol deliberately endanger the lives of their own children? Hold their hands and tell them it’s okay, they didn’t mean it because they have a fucking problem? Does this apply to abuse as well? Because by your rationalization it should. Addiction is a not a free pass for reckless behaviour and child endangerment, and if their problem is so bad that they’re doing this, they are likely very negatively affecting their children’s lives in other ways as well.

        No, if a person’s addiction is so bad that they will not only risk the lives of other people by driving drunk, but throw their own children in the back for good measure, then their children should be taken away from them until such a time as they can prove themselves responsible enough to cope with or defeat their addiction and be a rational human being again.

      • Ab reads

        Scroll down, my thoughts exactly. My argument was with the word FOREVER dick!

      • XDeRubicon

        There’s so simple solution, only catastrophic consequences.

        My now ex wife got popped for DUI with the kids in the car while were were in the process of getting divorced. It was her second arrest (and that was news to me!) in a very short period of time. If were were married, it would have been a problem that we would have worked together on. Divorced, the solution was cleaner. I had hoped that we could share custody as equals, but that went right out the window when I got the call from CPS. Supervised visitation. We are winding that down now. I only insist that she come into the house and hang for a bit before and after she takes the kids so I can judge her state.

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    • brebay

      I don’t get how not putting your kids in the car when your drunk should be treated any more lightly. OUR KIDS are still out there on the road and these selfish assholes are still risking THEIR lives!

      • WhoremonalCrazyLotusBitch

        I couldn’t agree more!

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    • ZombiClown

      Interesting that a writer on some blog gets linked to a front page on AOL.This whole thing that “there out to be a law” is a very poor arguement . There already is a law with severe penalties.Including removal of the children. Is the author just STUPID? Instead of saying “thank God they caught her before something happened” its “MY family were all drunks and this is what happened to poor me” We dont care, get over it,if you live apart from your drunken family they should no longer influence the rest of your life.Get a new therapist that doesnt need 2 sessions a week for the rest of your life. I am sorry but THE writer is the LAST person anybody should listen to.And no I donot drink ,ever.

    • suburban_j

      Seems a little harsh. They’ve lowered the limits so much that “drunk” could mean as few as 2-3 beers. That’s probably less than than most people drink at the family cookout. They need to measure drunk drivers on performance, not an arbitrary BAC level that affects everyone differently.

    • rachel

      I agree 100%. Drunk driving is one of the most selfish and disgusting decisions you can make for yourself, your child and everyone else on the road.

    • teflonmom

      Sadly, this happened to an associate of mine…took her two toddlers out for pizza, got drunk, then crashed the car, killed them both and lost them forever. She of course lived, like most drunk drivers who usually kill innocent people. Hey, drink all you want day or night, just please don’t drive.

    • Greg

      Maybe if drunk. .08 is not drunk.

    • Kgamis

      I think that EVERY car should contain a device that requires the driver to blow into it EVERY time it starts. It would STOP drunk driving instead of only catching about 10% of drunk drivers. Why don’t you support that instead of spending time making your own guidelines of what is “trashy” and what is not?

    • Dave

      So what other things shall we add to the “take away their kids” list. The woman comitted a crime, prosicute her. If we take away every trashy persons kids we will have a lot of kids to take care of. I personally do not want to take care of anyones kids. Maybe the sanctamonious author will step up and take them all in.

    • tonia

      I believe… YES SAFETY FIRST!… the child had no say so in the situation…
      Driving drunk in no way shape or form is okay. Taking a child “forever”… what does that really solve. Obviously this mother needs help… in more ways than one.

    • Mikerrr

      Not just sanctimonious but also poorly written. And not very well reasoned, either.

      • Ab reads

        Agreed.

    • Mikerrr

      Here’s a point that has been completely overlooked: The woman appeared to be drunk because she was slurring her words and couldn’t recite the alphabet. BUT, was she driving erratically? She may have been – but that is never stated. It’s just ASSumed. The BAC limit is a somewhat subjective and arbitrary test for “drunkenness,” but it cannot by itself categorically determine whether someone is incapable of driving. Further, she was only *charged* with DUI; nowhere here does it say she was convicted of it. More assumptions.

      I don’t advocate for driving drunk or impaired in any way – including sleep-deprived, but this blog post is so judgmental that it deserves to be picked apart from top to bottom.