• Fri, Jun 20 - 2:58 pm ET

STFU Parents: First Periods, Armpit Hairs, And Other Topics Parents Shouldn’t Share About Their Teen Kids On Facebook

This week, Hello Flo surfed a very high crimson wave with its new commercial “First Moon Party,” which has racked up more than six million views in just three days (so far). Aside from being extremely entertaining, the (period) spot got me thinking about how parents don’t really stop oversharing once their baby becomes a toddler, or once their first grader enters junior high. For parents who love sharing information about their children, no age is “too old,” and no information is “too private,” especially on sites like Facebook which have become ground zero for overshare. If a kid hits a new milestone, be it “first steps” or “first pubic hairs,” for many parents the immediate reaction is to praise the child on the internet. That’s just how information gets transmitted now; it’s fast, effective, and allows parents to virtually reach every single person they know. In some ways, it’s like sending a totally useless telegram, except that it costs nothing and involves very little effort. Thirty years ago, no one would have considered sending a communiqué about a daughter getting her first period, but today, it’s as easy as ordering a case of tampons off Amazon Prime. I’ve even seen parents discussing their teenager’s “extra long showering habits” on Facebook as though they’re sitting around a bar sharing pitchers of adult beverages, rather than openly exposing their children’s adolescent habits and body changes to everyone they know online. It’s weird.
So in the interest of reminding parents that at some point, the overshare MUST stop, I’ve compiled some examples that detail just a few of the bodily changes that pre-teens and teenagers go through that can really, truly stay offline. Even if parents want to share this stuff with the world, they should know better. We’ve all been through puberty and remember how much it sucks. Just imagine going back in time to all those confusing moments and having your mother share the “big news” not only with a neighbor or an aunt, but with every single person in her social circle. Yikes. Being an adolescent in 2014 is rough.

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  • NoMissCleo…JustMe

    I teach middle school and about 40% of this year’s disciplinary actions dealt with kids being cruel and mean to each other on the internet, whether it was through Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, or Snapchat. Teenagers are brutal enough to each other, why on Earth would a parent add to that trauma?

    • EditKitten

      I can’t tell if it’s the kids taking after their parents or the other way around with this.

  • CMJ

    If you wouldn’t write it about yourself…DON’T WRITE IT ABOUT YOUR CHILD.

    • JenH1986

      I’m not sure those parents wouldn’t write it about themselves though.

    • CMJ

      I’m mostly going from my own FB experience. So, granted it’s not everyone…..BUT for the people I know that post stuff like this of their kids (rashes, poop stories, hospital visits, etc)…I have never seen anything even remotely similar about them. And I check because it always bugs me.

    • JenH1986

      My friends don’t have the same compunction, unfortunately.

    • guets

      I only have one person who does this but it is ONLY about him not his kids. We get practically a daily update on how fucked up his back is asking for prayers, talking about how he “flat-lined in surgery” (note: he doesn’t know what flat-lined means), and putting pictures of his newly stitched skin on fb.

    • andrea

      Right. We’re living in the era of TMI. I try to really, really, edit myself all the time on FB. If it’s not a private group, I only post if I think something will bring a smile to someone’s face.

    • guest

      I’m just picturing one of the kids discussing mom’s hot flashes or her ultra mega super size tampons or something.

    • Katherine Handcock

      Preach it, @disqus_2gu5NE3U3i:disqus

  • Kendra

    Thank you, internet Gods, for not creating facebook until AFTER I graduated high school. Thank you IMMENSELY. Although, it should be noted that my mom still doesn’t have a facebook, so I think I would’ve been alright. My MIL…on the other hand….it could’ve been bad…

  • Blueathena623

    I don’t quite get the 4 tshirt one. Is the kid not washing them or something? I guess I don’t know why the mom is upset.

    • Kendra

      I think she’s mad her kid isn’t a super fashionista like herself.

    • AugustW

      That was my thinking. I was confused, because I wear the same 4 scrub tops in a rotation,…but I wash them in between.

    • andrea

      Ok, I secretly got that one because I buy my 10 year old plenty of clothing, but she will consistently have like 2-4 shirts in rotation. I don’t really care, aside from the fact that she DOES have other clothes I’ve spent money on and people probably think I don’t ever buy her anything. :/ Thankfully her younger sister LOVES hand-me-downs. Personally I find it way too boring to post about on social media. My response about it now bored me as it is. lol.

    • NoMissCleo…JustMe

      This is kinda where I went with that mom’s comment…I know my mom probably felt the same way about me when I was in that awkward pre-teen stage, but FB didn’t exist back then and even if it did, my mom is a classy broad and wouldn’t blab about it to the interwebz.

    • guets

      My mom had the same issue with me when I was like mid-puberty. In all honesty, I was not even remotely comfortable in my body except in a couple specific outfits. (For me it was ones that covered my new boobs and didn’t show off my bra straps etc.) I always wanted baggy clothes to hide and my mom would fight me over buying stuff and stuff that fit. So, personally I wouldn’t worry about it…by the time I was finishing middle school I was trying to collect em all with Abercrombie and Hollister shirts.

    • Ursi

      Me, I got the “no more black clothes, there are other colors!” a LOT in middle school.

    • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

      I’m still getting that. I don’t care — black is practical and goes with, well… everything. (We had the same argument about the paint color on my wheelchairs — I wanted black because it wouldn’t clash with my clothes if I decided to wear something colorful.)

    • Jen

      My friend’s mother bought me a pink sweater and handed it to me with “here, now you have something that’s not black.”

      Pink is SO not my color. I think she thought I was going goth (because that was the most terrible thing ever?) and wanted to save me by the power of pink. And it itched. And was too small.

      Good times.

    • ChickenKira

      I was similar.
      My Mum bought me lots of clothes but I had my selection of tops I would wear, reason being that I have particularly pointy nipples (and were not talking about when it’s cold here, just generally) and you could see them through a lot of the tops, and padded bras were absolutely out of the question as far as my mother was concerned.
      Last thing I needed was my friends going “NIPPLES” because that’s what 10-12yr olds do.

      Also, in regards to some of the clothes, they were just not ‘in’ and that mattered to me then.

    • Larkin

      Yeah, as long as they’re clean… who cares? It just made me think of the time my mother insisted that I wasn’t “taking care of myself” because I refused to wear makeup.

    • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

      Dude, I have like, eight shirts “in rotation”, and several as back-up shirts. I don’t see the problem, here.

  • momma425

    I was SO mortified when I got my first period, I didn’t even want to tell my dad, let alone all of the internet. Thank god Facebook didn’t exist when I was a child because this screams my mother’s name.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      LOL I was the opposite. I screamed for joy when I started my period.

      It was because I saw a stupid episode of ER or something as a kid where someone was a girl but due to internal injuries from a car accident and exploratory surgery the doctors found male bits on the inside and since I was not girly I was secretly worried I was really a boy. My period was the final reassurance that, yes, I was a girl and could be a mom like I always wanted.

    • andrea

      I was happy because all my friends and I had read Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret, so we were all keeping tabs on who got theirs and no one wanted to be last. lol. Now, menopause can’t come soon enough. :P

    • journalgal2

      AMEN! I don’t need any more babies, let’s get this shit over with shall we?

    • M.

      So much yes o this, me and my friends all obsessed over that book, too, and were all dying to get our periods…what even were we thinking?!

    • wally

      Yes! I Ioved that book. I don’t know why we wanted it so bad. I feel like crap for about 2 weeks every month. I’ve never wanted kids so it’s just been a nuisance. Can’t wait for it to stop!

    • AugustW

      I didn’t want to tell anybody, but I was 9 years old and it was at night and I needed some pads. I told my mom, who called my dad, who basically bought out a rite-aid, lol.

    • Spongeworthy

      I was pissed when I got mine. It was august and we had just started field hockey practice, and I was like “now I have to deal with this too? Dammit!”

    • guest

      I was horrified. I just took some of my mom’s supplies but she saw that I had used and asked me. I was like why are you asking me? I think we both know the answer and putting me on the spot is embarassing the shit out of me…if she ever put it on FB (not that she would have) I would have probably thrown myself out my second story window.

    • ChickenKira

      My Mum gave me a pad, explained how to use it, how to throw it away, sent me off to the bathroom and when I came out she was on the phone to my Nanna telling her all about it.
      Telling my Nanna something means that the whole world will know in about 10 seconds flat so I was pretty mortified.

    • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

      I was 12. It was the first time I experienced full-on “MY BODY IS ALL WRONG” feelings.

    • julesgilead

      I was pretty young when I got mine–within days of my eleventh birthday. I’m glad my mother told me what to expect, since I was at wilderness camp with about a dozen boys and two male counselors. I ended up making myself a makeshift pad out of toilet paper from a port-a-potty and keeping it to myself until I got home. My grandmother was also eleven when she got hers, but somehow her mother and four older sisters never thought to mention it, and she thought she was dying. Good thing times have changed!

  • Hana

    Dumb parents. Are girl on my facebook posted the first time her daughter went potty in the parking lot. Took a picture of the little girl on the potty beside the car and said it was her biggest accomplishment. She thought it was the cutest thing. Someone apparently private messaged her about it being inappropriate and she then put a status about if you can private message me about it then you can talk to me about it on my status and if you are a parent you understand that these are important moments in life. I salute whoever it was for messaging her. Idiot.

  • Ana

    My daughter peed in her potty for the first time last night. A little tiny part of me wants to shout it from the roof tops, but I settled for texting the grandmas. And, I guess, telling you all. I realize that outside of our little family bubble the rest of the world doesn’t care about where a toddler pees.

    • Jennie Blair

      At least you didnt post a picture or save it in a shadow box

    • Ms. Anne

      My almost-four-year-old kid just decided to use the potty and wear underwear in the past 2 weeks. I am ecstatic over this. I have told my friends with young kids, his grandparents, it is the most exciting thing in my life right now (seriously, ALMOST FOUR?). But somehow I was able to restrain myself from posting it on facebook.

  • Jallun-Keatres

    WTF on the rag at 10? I was 13! I must be a late… bleeder…..

    • LadyClodia the Modest Rat

      I was 11, and that was kind of early. 13 seemed about the typical age among my friends. I’ve read that a lot of girls are getting their periods at younger ages now.

    • CrazyFor Kate

      11/12 with my friends (all born around 1991). 10 was early but not uncommon.

    • guets

      Yeah I was 11 and most of the girls I know too.

    • Fawn

      I think it depends on genes.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      Me too. My sister was 11 and all my SIL’s were like 9 :o
      I guess in my husband’s family they grow and bloom really fast and are done by middle school. My SIL is 11 and she has the body of a grown woman.

    • ChickenKira

      I was 10. Ugh.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      I have 5 SIL’s and although I don’t know the details I believe they were all 9-10 when they started. I thought my sister was weird for starting hers at 11. I’ll never know what it’s like to be on the rag in elementary school =/

    • Katherine Handcock

      Nope, it’s definitely a genetic thing. Anywhere between age 8 and 16 is considered within the normal range. The fascinating things I’ve learned working for A Mighty Girl….

    • Jallun-Keatres

      Ok good!

    • Athena A

      I only had mine a few months before I turned 15! I was one of the later ones, most of my friends were 13-14, the earliest one was 12. The latest one 16. And I was born 1987. Can’t imagine getting it at ten, let alone 8, I was playing with barbies then, who the hell wants to be a ‘woman’ at that age!

    • Jallun-Keatres

      No kidding! I was born in 1989. What’s with “kids these days” ???

    • Elisabeth

      I was born in 1987 too and got mine at 11 years and 8 months. I kept wishing it would go away. It felt so wrong for me to have a period and technically be fertile when I was totally repulsed by sex (I was a late bloomer in that department). I can’t imagine getting it at 8 when I was still playing with dolls and stuffed animals!

  • SA

    I swear, if I ever see one of my friends do this to their children I will private message them some dirt on their mom so they can immediately get her back.

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  • Jennie Blair

    I feel really bad for parents like this, obviously they have nothing going on in their lives if all they have to post are super inappropriate things on facebook.
    Your kid took a dump? Super but no one gives a shit (besides your child)
    Your daughter got a period? Woo, she is like every other female mammal on the planet
    your son discovered masterbation? Dont use whatever towl is hanging in the bathroom

    all of these “milestones” can pass right on by with up a twitter update

  • lpag

    This reminds me of when my mom discovered my first armpit hairs. She saw them and said “hey, you’ve got hair under your arms!” and I was SO embarrassed (even though we were alone), I put my arm down and went to get a different shirt. Then later I told my mom, quite convincingly, that it had all been a prank, that I had glued the hairs there, and she believed me, and told me good job, you pulled that prank really well. She then told all her friends about my hilarious “prank”. Then, like 2 years later, I ‘fessed up and told it hadn’t been a prank, I was just covering up for how embarrassed I was about sprouting armpit hair. She was floored at having been “double pranked” and told all her friends that I’d psyched her again. Boy am I glad this was a few years before Facebook…Though to be fair, that and zits were the only aspects of my puberty she discussed with her friends, and if I hadn’t claimed to have played a prank, she probably wouldn’t have told anyone.

  • Katie Delia

    Can someong please PM M’s daughter about tampons? Since apparently her mom’s not going to help her out…

    • AP

      Agreed, but a lot of parents don’t want or trust ten year olds to use tampons. TSS and the ick factor of a ten year old sticking stuff up there.

      As a swimmer though, I found it cruel how long my mom held out. Tampons are life changing for us active gals.

    • Katie Delia

      Agreed.

    • gues

      All the years of volleyball with pads…le sigh.

    • K2

      Tampons freaked me out for ages, never wanted to try them, or ask my mum.. I finally did very recently (after much internet perusing for advice and courage) and it feels so much BETTER! Not perfect, periods still suck, but wow it helps – and I know I won’t have to worry about going to the beach at the wrong time anymore :D

    • Or…

      Try a menstrual cup. Empty, rinse/wipe, replace, done, no TSS.

    • Katherine Handcock

      Too right. I don’t like tampons personally, but for an active kid, they should ABSOLUTELY be given the option. Heck, I’d help put one in if she wanted!

    • brebay

      Wow, I can’t imagine a kid wanting help with that!

    • SunnyD847

      Okay, this is kinda gross, so feel free to scroll on.
      YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!
      I took my little sister to a water park when she was about 12 and she started her period on the way there (not her first period.) I got her a tampon & told her how to use it & and all was well. Until the end of the day when she COULDN’T GET IT OUT. I’ll let you figure out the rest.

    • C.J.

      That happened to my mom the first and only time she used a tampon when she was 13. She was at a church camp, my dad was at the same camp.She was too embarrassed to ask a nun for help. My dad has blocked the memory out of his mind.

    • SunnyD847

      Wow! And they ended up married?

    • C.J.

      Lol, yep, 39 years in November.

    • SunnyD847

      I don’t think I could have ever looked him in the face again, so props to your mom :)

    • C.J.

      I don’t think I could have either! My mom told me that story when I was a teenager, I was terrified of tampons for years. I will not tell that story to my daughters, at least not until they are already used to them.

    • Katherine Handcock

      I can’t either, but if she did, I’d do it. It’s so sad to me when girls feel like their routine HAS to be interrupted by their periods for any reason. I didn’t have issues with using tampons, but I had awful cramps as a teen, and it was rotten to feel like my life was ruled by the stupid things my uterus was doing.

    • Guest

      I think some women don’t realize that for most girls (or at least most of the girls I knew ) having you period as a teen or younger the cramps and flow were a helllluva lot worse. I literally don’t know how I managed to go to school like that although I was home sick a lot. So thankful my mom finally took me in to get on the pill and I was able to get both under control and it was SO much more manageable.

    • Sarah

      Late to this, but you’re gonna hate me (like all my female friends do). Got my period at ten and I agree that the flow was not great (but then it never is, so…) but I’ve never got cramps. My friends are like “omg, period pain, cramps, etc” and I’m always like “WTF are you talking about?”. On the flip side a friend of mine used to get such bad period pain that it pretty much meant a week off school and the strongest pain killers you could get without going tot he doctor. *shrug*

    • Sarah

      *to the.

    • Katherine Handcock

      I can’t either, but if she did, I’d do it. It’s so sad to me when girls feel like their routine HAS to be interrupted by their periods for any reason. I didn’t have issues with using tampons, but I had awful cramps as a teen, and it was rotten to feel like my life was ruled by the stupid things my uterus was doing.

    • SunnyD847

      There’s a lot of idiots who think if you use a tampon you’re not a virgin anymore.

    • jane

      I had a really hard time using tampons until after I had sex. As in, I couldn’t use them because it hurt too much. I am grateful that I ditched my virginity early.

    • Kelly

      I either had to use the tampons or give up swimming competitively. It hurt like hell at first (I actually fainted and hit my head on the toilet the first time, fun, fun) but I managed to get used to it more than five years before I lost my virginity.

    • Katherine Handcock

      I understand from parents of young teens that they now have significantly slimmer options specifically for younger girls. Hopefully that helps some of the girls having experiences like that!

    • Ives

      I almost fainted the first time (and second time) I tried to put one in too! I thought I was the only one. I just went back to pads until after I lost my virginity and was able to finally use tampons without it being ridiculously uncomfortable. Now I would only use a pad as a very last resort… I wish I’d just kept at it and made it work anyway, I always hated pads.

    • Larkin

      Yeah, I was wondering about that too. It’s the modern era, Mom, give the kid a tampon. I was maybe 12 the first time I used one (also because of a water-related outing).

    • Jen

      My mom had this idea that only ‘lose’ girls used tampons. Apparently sticking cotton up there was far too close to sex for her. Those sexy, sexy tampons…

      Fortunately my conservative church stocked the women’s restroom with both pads and tampons so I got my first one from there. Hey, they were church tampons so they were sanctified, right?

      When my niece gets old enough she’s totally getting a supply of all the options along with instructions to call with any questions. ANY questions.

  • K.

    Dear God, folks–STOP.

    None of us (or not many of us) had our adolescence made public and put on the Internet forever.

    These are NOT parents’ experiences–they are their teens’–and not their right to broadcast out to everyone they know.

  • js argh

    Yeah, so, I’m a full-grown adult and my mom overshares about me on Facebook. I had what I thought was a private conversation with her about my daughter’s birth, only to find it – nearly word for word – on Facebook hours later.

    Now I have to preface or end conversations and pictures with an “I don’t want to see this on Facebook” disclaimer. (She’s not tech-savvy enough to know how to hide them from me, so I’m confident she’s honored the request, but only when I specify.)

  • SunnyD847

    I would never post anything as personal as these examples, but there have been a couple of times that I thought about posting things I thought were funny that my daughter did or said and then I remembered that she is on Facebook now (and I forced her to friend me) and that she would kill me in my sleep if I did, so I didn’t. She’s fourteen and is excruciatingly self-conscious and just generally a private person. I’m glad that I have an incentive to remember to respect her privacy.

  • emilyg25

    Argh omigod, my coworker overshares about her teenagers and it drives me batty, not least because I was an extremely private teen. It’s just so unnecessary and cruel.

  • Stephanie

    Me and my husband have a rule that if we wouldn’t post it about ourselves, then we shouldn’t post it about our baby.

  • The Actual Devil

    I have personally told my mother that if she ever does anything like this, I will never forgive her.

  • Kendra

    Just a random note…I’m going to need you guys to go read the STFU parents blog and see the yoonique names she posted today. Seriously.

    • Ursi

      As a person of Irish/Scottish descent, I find McKhynleigh unforgivable.

    • brebay

      Her first name is Kharringtyn-McKhynleigh? This girl is NEVER getting a Jhobbe.

    • Ursi

      I hope she goes rogue and starts referring to herself as “Carrie M” just to piss off her mother.

    • brebay

      Nor is her sister, Khayleigh-Huntyr. Of course, since they’re taking out an ad in the paper to congratulate her on graduating from pre-school, their sights probably aren’t set too high…

  • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

    I remember hearing my mom share the news of my menarche over the phone to a friend of hers and I was incensed. I didn’t even want her to tell my dad.
    Had number 5 happened, I would have imploded with rage.
    and what gets me is she did it to her younger daughter after making the mistake of doing it to her older one! Dude, learn from your mistakes, don’t repeat them! Ass.

  • Ituri

    I have to add my two cents here. I have friends who will share naked or nearly naked shots of their children. Young kids who will run around naked, yeah, that’s all fun and games. But do NOT pretend it’s about *your* freedom to post that crap all over the internet. You do not own your childs body, and I’m not even going into the whole “scary people who like children” argument with this. Your child is a PERSON. They are going to see what you posted, and know you flaunted them like a doll online. I don’t care if its an adorable shot of your kids playing in the tub, that is an In House Photo. NOT online.

  • Jen

    Many years ago, my mother-in-law called my husband up one day when he was away at college and said “Your little sister just became a woman and I thought you might want to congratulate her.” and then HANDED THE PHONE TO THE POOR GIRL. All I can say is thank goodness Facebook didn’t exist back then.

    • Mindy

      Jeez, I’m cringing so hard for that poor girl! I even am cringing for your husband. How do you even respond to something like that?

    • ChickenKira

      “Well, this is awkward, sorry Mum is making this hard for you” would have been my go-to.

    • brebay

      Yeah, unless you’re locked in your grandmother’s attic, this is not normal brother-sister conversation…

  • scooby23

    Do these parents not realize that there is a good chance that their kids’ classmates can get a hold of these statuses easily? Poor kids must being going through school hearing ” So how’s it like to be a woman now?” *queue evil bully laughter*

    • RCIAG

      Or another one of those moms that replied or “liked” it will say “Oh did you know that little Suzy got her first period today?!”
      Ugh.

    • scooby23

      Ugh is right. Ugh ugh ugh.

  • guest

    Why would you congratulate someone on getting their period? I would tell them how sorry I am.

    • SunnyD847

      I know. There’s this whole thing about how you’re supposed to celebrate their womanhood and shit, but when my much younger sister got her period I remember hugging her and saying “I’m so sorry.”

    • 2Well

      I did the same.

    • RCIAG

      Yeah fuck that celebrating shit.

      Except remember when that one girl was the first & you weren’t & she lorded it over some girls? You couldn’t wait to get your period. It was all so very “Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret.”

      Then you FINALLY get it & you have cramps so bad you stay home from school one day a month for years & you realize you’re stuck with this shit for the next 30-40 YEARS!!

      But then one day, the month after a night with that hot dude/your boyfriend/some random hookup you don’t get it.

      That’s probably the only the second time in your entire life that you reeeeeaaalllllly want your period!!

    • SunnyD847

      I have a sister 2 years older so there was no mystique for me. I did not want my period at all. For good reason, since I ended up with terrible, debilitating cramps like you mentioned. Thankfully, going on the pill young really helped and I didn’t have to worry about pregnancy scares :)

    • Chris

      That myth has been totally busted for me. I’ve been on the pill for years and I’m currently checking in at four months pregnant!

      I never missed a pill, I even had a gynecologist explain to me that I’d probably have trouble getting even if I went off the pill.

      Post-baby, I can’t imagine I’ll be able to have any kind of protected sex without worry!

    • LawGeekNYC

      The pill only has a 99.9% effectiveness rate with perfect use. this doesn’t just mean taking it every day. This means taking it every day at the same time. And not taking antibiotics. And being on the right dose for your body weight.

      And even then, it will fail for a small number of women, due to their metabolism, illness, or just sheer bad luck.

      I wouldn’t call it a “myth”. No one ever claimed it is 100%. We always knew there are an unlucky .01% of women out there who get pregnant if the pill is their only method. You’re just one of the rare unlucky ones.

      I always combine it with another method, personally. Even .01% is too much risk for me.

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      10 year old has started already.
      I was 12.
      It’s younger and younger girls are getting it.
      I did feel sorry for her in a sense that she got it so young, she can’t quite deal with the moodiness or the cramps, but all I could say to her is you WILL get used to it and in a year, it won’t be a big deal.

    • Larkin

      Ha, the sex book my parents got my as a kid suggested throwing yourself a party when you got your period. And I remember being like “Why the fuck would I ever want to do that?!?!?!”

    • Katherine Handcock

      Well, I might go somewhere in the middle – it IS exciting, from the point of view that it’s a major physical transition, but it’s also important to acknowledge that there are some pretty significant inconveniences (at the least) that come with it.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      I celebrated, but that was because I was a late bloomer. I was almost 16, and all the magazines (YM and Seventeen being my primary source of womanly information at that time) said that if you didn’t get it by the time you were 16, you should check with your doctor. So I was scared as hell that something was wrong with me.

      When I finally got it, 3 or 4 years after most of my friends and well into high school, I was extremely happy.

  • Alice

    It’s their daughter’s period, and yet the mom is making it all about her. “Wish me luck”- Seriously- are you bleeding twice a month now?
    But then, I was so private a child I didn’t tell my mom for like, 3 days, when I ran out of the supplies they gave out to the girls in 5th grade health class. So the very idea someone doing this is completely horrifying.

  • Kelly

    I’ve been a female for over 30 years and can’t figure out why I wouldn’t be able to go to a waterpark because of it.

    • brebay

      Ugh. I did that last year, was not the most fun I’ve ever had at a waterpark. Constantly checking to make sure that was just water dripping down my leg, then traipsing back to the lockers to surreptitiously grab a tampon while my boys complained “why do you have to check your phone again?”

    • LawGeekNYC

      DivaCup.

    • brebay

      Yeah, I’ve heard that works, but I don’t take it normally, and so probably wouldn’t go on it just for convenience, but if you’re already taking it and can make it work, good deal.

    • LawGeekNYC

      No, I don’t think it’s worth it for the convenience alone. I think it is worth it for the lowered risk of ovarian cancer, though, especially when combined with missing out on the acne, bad moods, and cramps. Women’s bodies never evolved to live this long and stay non-pregnant, so in an odd way artificial hormones return us to the “natural” state of having fewer ovulations. But, of course, some people don’t react well to it , and if you don’t have one of the other conditions it treats it might not be worth it.

      To be honest, I went on it on the advice of my dermatologist, after three rounds of Accutane and ten years of Retin-A failed to clear up my adult acne.

    • brebay

      I didn’t realize that, but it makes sense, from an evolutionary standpoint. Retin-A worked for me as a teen/20-something, but even 20 years after stopping it, my skin is still ridiculously sensitive to the sun, which it never was before. I swear I get burned if I go out to get the mail!

    • brebay

      Okay, I had to look up DivaCup. I am actually terrified such a thing exists. At first I thought you were giving me some kind of sarcastic award for acting like a diva…

  • Frannie

    Am I the only one who hated that stupid ‘First Moon’ video? It’s hard enough to be that age without your parents being total assholes.

    • SunnyD847

      I thought it was hilarious. Of course, I have teen daughters who totally use “that tone” with me. I wouldn’t actually DO it – I’m too lazy for one thing – but it’s fun to think about. And maybe threaten my kids with :)

    • Katherine Handcock

      I thought it was funny from the “this idea as a way to get back at your child is hilarious” perspective. It did give me the heebie jeebies knowing that, somewhere, a parents is writing notes, though.

    • Frannie

      I don’t know.. I don’t think it’s fair to get back at a child for feeling insecure and wanting to fit in with her peers. It’s not like she was out drinking or she hurt anyone. If your kid is feeling like enough of an outsider to pretend to get her period to fit in, I doubt humiliating her in front of everyone she knows will solve anything.

    • Katherine Handcock

      I guess that’s what I mean – it’s funny in the crazy, exaggerated way, the way that makes you go, “OMG, can you imagine if someone actually did that?!” Totally agree that actually doing it would NOT be funny.

    • SunnyD847

      But she wasn’t punishing her for that, it was because she used “that tone” to her mom. My kids do this to me now (along with the sighs and the eye rolls) so I sympathize with the urge to teach her a lesson. Not IRL, but in a commercial? Sure.

  • brebay

    What the hell is wrong with these people? If another kid posted this stuff about their kid they’d be filing a lawsuit!

  • Ursi

    Do parents not remember all the dirt they had on their own parents back in the day because this is REALLY tempting fate if the child is (rightfully) sore about it.

    You know when I was a teenager I got to hear all the stories about how so-and-so’s parents were so loud during sex their son had to knock on the wall and holler at them to keep it down and so-and-so walked in on Mom shaving her cooter and all that unsavory good stuff kids swap. Would they want THAT showing up on FB? Think, people. Think hard about this before selling out your kid to the internet.

    • 2Well

      I was putting away groceries and found KY warming jelly. I left that bag alone.

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      I was helping my mom unpack after a trip to visit family when I found a new vibrator.
      I was laughing and bopping her on the head with it until she laughed and said “Honey that’s for you”

      I froze lol

    • Alanna Jorgensen

      There’s nothing worse than finding your parents’ anal beads… trust me…

  • brebay

    I don’t get the T-shirt one. I don’t think it meant she wasn’t showering, just that she had favorite clothes that she wore over and over. I do at least one load of laundry every day for three people. My kids could own 2 shirts and still be in clean clothes every day.

    • RCIAG

      That’s kinda what I thought too. I was expecting some mention of the kid reeking but it’s kinda vague. She could mean her kid stinks or she could mean she’s tired of doing daily laundry because the kid MUST wear those shirts.

  • brebay

    I fucked up the first kid, it’s only fair that I repeat all my mistakes with the second one instead of learning something and apologizing to the first one. Do these bitches really think other moms aren’t going to tell their own kids about this, and that kid is taking it to school and spreading it around? It would come in handy, I mean the next time your kid calls you mean, “You think I’M mean? look what Haylie’s mom posted about her on facebook!”

  • dna123

    Damn, six people liked Diana’s comment, and I can’t even get one like when I post anything remotely cerebral or intellectual.

  • Rachel Sea

    I have a friend who does this to her daughter all the time, but she is also the kind of person who posts about her own bowel movements, so there is just no help for them.

  • C.J.

    I would never post personal things about my daughters on facebook. I want to encourage them to talk to me. They wouldn’t trust me to talk to me if they thought I would put it all over facebook.

  • Caitlin Burrows

    When I have kids, I am not going to be posting every little thing about their lives (I don’t want to end up on STFU, Parents unless it’s a Gold Star Post). When they get older, obviously I’m going to use some common sense, but if they don’t want something up on my Facebook page, I’m going to respect that.

  • Teal

    Why are people still insisting that girls can’t swim on their periods?! Water stops most periods, especially first ones!

    • SunnyD847

      What?
      And also because of sharks.

    • Guest

      Presumably because she’s using pads not tampons?

    • AP

      This is a real myth that gets spread around- my swim coach convinced us of it, presumably to convince us not to skip practice in those middle school years before moms allowed tampons.

      The idea being, the pressure of the water against your body stops the blood from coming out. A pantiliner will “catch” the rest.

      The reality is that most people don’t bleed heavily enough for it to be visible in the water as you bleed. So it comes out on your bathing suit, and quickly dilutes into the pool. The water’s not “stopping” it, you just can’t tell it’s trickling out. It’s not unsanitary because of the dilution and chlorine, it’s just problematic if you have to get out of the pool and stand on the deck waiting for a race or something, or you end up with a heavy one one day.

    • Guest

      I can tell you from my taking-a-bath experience that no..it does not stop it and it can in fact be blatantly obvious. It may seem ok if you’re on a light one but S soon as they got out of the pool bam. Also, that’s gross..basically the equivalent of being like well just pee while you’re swimming nobody will see it.

    • Guest

      That was meant for the previous comment but you get the idea

  • Guin

    So glad Facebook wasn’t around when I was 13 as my mother told EVERYONE in person and right in front of me that I was “a woman now.” She thought it was flippin’ hilarious. It’s been 32 years and I still haven’t forgiven her for it. Why do some parents think humiliating their child is so funny?

    • TheMightySquirrel

      I am and always have been an acutely private person, but my mother is a chronic over-sharer.

      When I started my periods at about 12, I didn’t even tell her for a day or so (we have good sex education in the UK and the ‘Tampax lady’ had visited our school, so I had supplies!), but when she found out, the first thing she did was to phone all her friends and tell them. I cringed so hard I thought I might turn myself inside out.
      Now I’m 35 and I don’t even tell my mother when I have a cold. Well, done, mum. You set up a great relationship vis-à-vis your daughter’s bodily integrity and right to privacy there.

  • SarahJesness

    I’m glad my mom has trouble figuring out technology. She kind of has a big mouth and probably wouldn’t hesitate to have these conversations.

  • BW2

    There was an article on Babycenter not too long ago where the blogger shared some personal information about her daughter’s personal hygiene. I believe koolchicken called her out on it and there were some heated words.

  • OnionButt

    My parents divorced when I was 15 and I chose to live with my dad. So of course, that meant he had to purchase my tampons before I could drive. Even after I was able to drive (and had my own car) he still would buy them for me.

    I’ve shared this story with the STFUParents commentors before, but I love it so I’ll share it again. I think I was in college at this point and I was either home for a weekend or the summer or something. My dad had gone to Sam’s and was buying me tampons. I happened to walk outside when he got home. We had a really fun and goofy relationship, so he proceeded to try to embarrass me. He’d opened the trunk of his car and grabbed the MASSIVE box of Tampax (interesting side note: you could fit at least 12 cds in their jewel cases in one of those boxes when it was empty. I know this because my friend and I took one of those boxes and dressed it up with a bow and labeled it as some of our male friend’s new cd holder – they did not appreciate the gift, btw) and started waving the box towards me and practically shouting, “Hey Stace, I got your TAMPONS!” He did this because some (poor unsuspecting) dude was about to jog past our house.

    I still remember the look of defeated disappointment on my dad’s face when instead of being embarrassed I was doubled over laughing my ass off. Also I swear that poor jogger dude really sped up as he jogged by to get away from our crazy asses.

    Now, despite my dad doing this on purpose to attempt to embarrass me, he wouldn’t have done something that would have truly mortified me. I know he did it in part because he knew I wouldn’t have been truly upset. And if Facebook was around back then, he wouldn’t have posted private shit about my body or such that I wouldn’t have wanted him to. Also I think it’s a little different to do something “live” that isn’t being recorded vs literally saying something embarrassing that is permanent and always accessible like Facebook is.

    It’s funny, every time I tell or think of that story, I miss my dad so much. Tampons – who knew they could be such a source of nostalgia?

  • angelina ♥

    I’m so grateful Facebook was not at large when I was growing up. My mom had The biggest mouth Ever! I swear she would have no more shit to run about her friends so she’d start in on me and mine! In high school, she worked with someone who happened to know this girl I had a semi-flirtation with who was also pretty much stalking me. Like, legit stalking me. She told whoever that I referred to the girl as a stalker and not only broke her heart once it got back to her–and of course it did–but also turned me into like this spineless snitch, since I’d been dumb enough to confide in my mom about the situation. I wish I could say it was the first and/or last of those incidents!

  • Vicki Lewis

    The T shirt shaming one made me so angry. She wasn’t even complaining about showering, she was complaining basically that her daughter isn’t materialistic enough and only needs 4 shirts to be happy! And the friends response that she “broke down crying” about the same issue with her kid was crazy. I thought the kids answer of, “are you serious right now?” Was right on the mark. Sounds to me like these women might have daughters who have better values than them and they don’t know how to cope with that.

    • http://www.benwhoski.com/ Benwhoski

      Yeah. That one got me, too. Doesn’t sound like the problem is the kid wants to wear dirty clothes or anything like that. She just doesn’t care much about clothes. I was totally that kid growing up. My mom didn’t care that I was a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl. My grandmother on the other hand…

    • neighbor57

      I’d be thrilled if my kid had only 4 favorite shirts! Imagine the savings on closet space, time spent washing, folding, and putting away, choosing what to wear each morning… how easy!

  • gothicgaelicgirl

    I got my first period with only my 60 year old father in the house.
    He gave me a hug, ran to the pharmacy and bought one box of each brand of tampon and pad, handed them to me and said “ONE of these damn things should work!”

    And that was it.
    No drama, no freaking out. Nothing.

    Ahhh simpler times…

    • brebay

      dad point.

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      For an older Dad, he’s always been very VERY cool and open about stuff.
      When he found out I was being intimate with my boyfriend (I was 15, my dad was 64 at the time), he didn’t freak out, just asked were we being careful and what were we using?
      When I said condoms and anti sperm stuff he said “OK, If you’re alright with it, I’m gonna book you in to get the Implanon contraceptive, I was gonna say it to you but I didn’t know if you were doing it or not”
      I asked was he upset with me
      He shrugged and said “No, I’m a little sad cos you’re not my little girl anymore, but hey, it was bound to happen, but I’m glad you told me”

      So he took me to get that implant put in, warned me once more about still using condoms if I started seeing someone else, then that was it.
      Once again, no drama, no “YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE SEX TIL YOU’RE IN YOUR 30S, NO DAUGHTER OF MINE…BLAHBLAHBLAH” speech.

      Like I said, for an older guy, he’s pretty damn cool.

    • quinn

      Haha, that is so sweet. I love that.

    • Betty Martin

      Ha!! I got mine in a houseful of parents, grandparents, and children, including 2 older sisters. I had to use toilet paper pinned to my underwear for the longest time because it was the only thing available. Also, we lived in the woods for a year, so digging a hole with a shovel away from the tent to bury the stuff brought on lots of cramps and scary feelings. Simpler times indeed. I ALWAYS made sure we had lots of supplies when I had daughters of my own.

  • Courtney Lynn

    My mom was and still is one of those who tells everyone everything my sister and I have ever done. I’m SO glad FB wasn’t around when I was a kid and teen. Although, she just got on the phone and told people anyway. She also wanted total control over my hair, my clothes and everything else. I’m determined not to do that to my kids. Once they can pick out clothes and dress themselves, it’s almost completely their business as long as it is within the realm of reason.

  • Tara

    Ugh, these people are terrible. My oldest just turned five, and I already find myself curbing what I post about her on social media. She says and does some things that are awesome/hilarious, but even at 5 I know she wouldn’t especially want the whole world to hear about them.

  • Geologen

    I am a grown ass woman and my mother still posts way too much about my personal life on HER facebook. She even steals my profile pictures.