10 Baby Birth Announcements That Are Undeniably Creepy

Birth announcements are a great—albeit obvious—way to tell the world you gave birth. Since this isn’t the 1800s, the odds are that everyone and their mom already knows that you have a new bundle of joy after your grand Facebook announcement and play-by-play live tweeting. But an official birth announcement is a cute keepsake and will seal the deal.

You have birthed. You have made baby. You have produced a miracle that everyone must meet.

Birth announcements come in all shapes and sizes. Most that I have seen involve a wrinkly little newborn sleeping on a towel with an angelic glow cast about the photograph. I have to admit that I was very tempted to do a birth announcement after we had our kids, but I was very lazy. I also wanted to try a newborn photo shoot, but I never booked that either.

If I had done a birth announcement, there are several styles that I would have avoided. For starters, anything creepy is not advisable for a birth announcement that welcomes your new son or daughter into the world.

Use these weird examples as a guideline for what NOT to do, and you’ll be in the clear:

1. It took me a while to figure out what was going on because SUCH HANDS.

birth12. ALL THE HANDS.

coloradomoms.com

coloradomoms.com

3. I’m going to put this one in the TMI Category…

birth24. Why isn’t someone supporting this baby’s neck?!?

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newportraitbiz.com

5. These adorable twins look so adorable and earnest that it upsets me.

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slipsofthetongue.wordpress.com

6. To me this photo screams, ABANDONED BABY, and I don’t like it one bit.

birth6

7. Please, please don’t ever try this at home or in a professional photo shoot.

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epbot.com

8. The baby-in-the-bag idea looked better on paper.

birth8

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9. Perfect for Team Green waiting to find out the gender.

birth9

10. If you haven’t booked that birth announcement yet, it’s never too late. (Sweet aside: This birth announcement was made for a 13-year-old adopted son.)

birth10

blog.sfgate.com

For cool birth announcements you can actually use, click here!

(Images: Pinterest)

You can reach this post's author, Bethany Ramos, on twitter.
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    • Valerie

      “Ok, let’s get this shoot rolling. Orchids? Check. Lemons? Got em! Pearls? Yup. Oh, grab that mailbox. Ok, let’s do this thing.”

      • Bethany Ramos

        I don’t get the lemons!!!

      • Valerie

        When life gives you lemons, pose them around an infant falling out of a downed mailbox.

        God, it’s like you know nothing about life!!

      • Bethany Ramos

        Hahahahha I don’t know life!

      • Valerie

        Will teach you all about baby lemon still lifes.

      • Calypso

        Lemons are baby girl fertilizer! #HIMYM

      • Bethany Ramos

        Noooo! LOL

      • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Kay_Sue

        I was going to post that same idea, but I read yours first. I don’t get it either.

      • whiteroses

        “You look terrible.”

        “Well, next time you try to push something the size of a watermelon out of an opening the size of a lemon we’ll see how hot you look.”

        I could be reading WAY too much into this, but Look Who’s Talking was the first thing that came to mind.

      • Bethany Ramos

        LOL!

      • Jessifer

        Plus, who puts their mailbox on the ground, in the grass? Wouldn’t it be a pain in the ass for the poor mailman to have to bend down and put all the mail in it?

      • Mystik Spiral

        Stork knocked it over in a rough landing.

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        I feel like it’s gotta be some inside joke or something.

      • SnoozyPuppies

        After reading this comment I had to scroll back up and look at it again. It IS a mailbox! I had thought it was a downspout. It actually makes a little more sense now, although the combo of lemons, flowers and pearls still add up to a whole lot of WTF.

      • Spongeworthy

        I kind of hope it was the photographer’s way of fucking with the parents. Like, this is my 7th newborn shoot today, I’m so over this. Let me see how many random props I can put in one picture before mom gets wise.

      • K.

        These baby announcements are SO going to date like the wedding portraits of the 70′s:

        http://thwartedglamour.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/70s-portrait-perardi-flickr.jpg

      • K.

        Sorry I don’t know how to get the images to work :(

        But trust me–you put your baby in a mailbox with lemons and your grandkids are going to wonder what the hell was wrong with you.

      • Valerie

        Omg I am 1000% sure my parents have a photo like that from their 1980 wedding.

    • http://www.ambiencechaser.com/ Elizabeth Licata

      #2: Where do you even buy giant fake fleece puppet hands?

      • Bethany Ramos

        I really, really want those.

      • http://www.ambiencechaser.com/ Elizabeth Licata

        There is nothing you could be planning to do with them that is OK.

      • Bethany Ramos

        Hahahaha

      • Cruelty Cupcake

        It seems like something you might find in George Costanza’s nightstand.

      • K.

        And they come in colors: http://www.pregnancystore.com/zaky.html

        I just want to know if they make ‘em for adults.

      • Larkin

        Noooooooooooooooo…

    • Valerie

      Also, #10 is hysterical. I feel like they must be a super fun family.

      • Timba

        I thought the same thing. I think that is super awesome, in a) that they thought of it, and b) that the kid did it.

      • Larkin

        I actually remember reading an article about that story a while back, and it came about because the kid mentioned he was sad that they didn’t have any new baby photos of him like they did of their biological kids. Mom was a photographer, so she was like, “We can fix that!” Because they’re all awesome.

      • Cruelty Cupcake

        Yeah, that one gives me all kinds of goosebumps

      • Jessifer

        I also have to admit that No. 10 made me lol.

    • K.

      So I am a wicked terrible person because #9 makes me laugh. It’s at least honest rather that that weird kiddie-coy sexuality.

      Otherwise, if I had the money for a photo shoot, dammit, I’m the one who’s going to get all gussied up and photoshopped to the hilt. My kid will make do with sunshine, an iPhone, and 2 seconds of unstained overalls.

    • Timba

      Random Factoid of randomness:

      In number four, someone IS supporting the baby’s head/neck. One of the tricks a photographer will do is take a couple of shots and then Photoshop out the parents hands. Its how they get that chin propped up on hands look, too.

    • whiteroses

      Number 9 wierds me out. Baby genitalia is a lot like your parents having sex- you know it exists, but you don’t want to think about it. I’m sure this was hipsterish and “clever”, but what on earth would they have done if the kid was a girl?

      • Allyson_et_al

        I’m pretty sure we don’t want to know.

    • Jennifer Freeman

      #13 is hilarious. I am telling myself they were going for hilarious rather than serious, because otherwise, I don’t want to live in this world.

    • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Kay_Sue

      #4: Anyone else reading the pink pail with baby’s head sticking out as creepy anatomical symbolism? This creepy lady is.

      #9: Uh…no. Just no.

      • Jennifer Freeman

        With the furry blanket around the outer edges? Yeah. Totally lady parts symbolism.

      • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Kay_Sue

        Thank god you see it too. I was so afraid I was the only one.

      • http://www.ambiencechaser.com/ Elizabeth Licata

        Well *now* I am.

      • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Kay_Sue

        You’re welcome. Just spreading the love. ;)

    • Jennifer Freeman

      #6 looks like there was some sort of accident, like the mailbox tipped over and dumped the poor kid on the ground.

    • Emily A.

      OK, I pretty much love the adoption one.

      The other day I freecycled a plaster handprint kit, and the guy who got it made the handprint for his mom for Mother’s Day… he is 28. I thought that was pretty awesome, too.

      • whiteroses

        You’re never too old for that stuff :)

    • dy

      My cousin sent an announcement when her kid was born and it was all sappy. She put that baby in angel wings and a halo. Barf. So, after my twins were born, I wrapped them up in crab bath towels, sat them on the couch and took a picture. Then sent out a photocard that said “Uh oh! We’ve got crabs!” Three years later, its still up on the birth board at the fertility doctor’s office.

      • http://overthecuckoonest.blogspot.com/ Kay_Sue

        That is hilarious.

      • Bethany Ramos

        Hahahahaah

      • SA

        Hilarious!

    • itpainsme2say

      My only question is why are there lemons in the mailbox pic?!?

    • Life-Sized Mommy

      I must have baby fever because half of these were two cute to me. The smiling baby with the guy? Oh my god, I want another baby. The twins? Oh my god, I want TWO babies!

    • Zettai

      Bucket baby looks like someone dumped it there and walked away. Why would anyone want a picture like that? Ever?

    • NorthernGirl

      Number 2 really creeped me out. Why just hands? Why?!

    • lea

      9 and 10 are both hilarious.

      Number 2- is a creepy as fuck but I NEED those hands. I’m just imagining all the extra sleep I could be getting if those hands could take my place with my baby for just a few hours!

    • AnastasiaMcNally

      We just found out we are expecting number two… I need to find a way to combine 5 or 6 of these for when the time comes!
      But seriously, good god. The mailbox, what a mess!

      • Bethany Ramos

        Congrats!!!! Now order giant puppet hands ;)

      • AnastasiaMcNally

        It’ll be 2 under 2 so we’ll need all the hands in every colour! ;)

    • tk88

      #6–why the lemons? And #9 is really creepy. While the layout of #10 is weird since he’s a big kid, it really made me happy. :) I bet that really did make him feel special and important, just like a new baby. Lots of older adopted kids like several months or years of being babied anyway.

      • MamaLlama

        I was just going to type that! Lemons??? And why is the angle so off.? Poor thing is sliding out of the mailbox!

    • wispy

      I like #1!

      8 makes me want to cry and 9 is the creepiest thing I’ve seen in my life. If I got that in the mail I would feel extremely violated.

    • RW

      OMG I LOVE the adoption announcement. That’s hilarious!!!

      The one in the netting bag is horrifying.

      • Allyson_et_al

        It looks like they put the kid back in the amniotic sack.

    • Shannen Allison

      I am to adapt a kids here http://goo.gl/PmfvLe

    • guest

      #10 is amazing and hilarious.
      In general a lot of the baby photos creep me out but more than anything…WHY DO THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO BE NUDE? I get that babies are nude when they get here and probably nude a lot after but its effin weird to send out a nude pic (or almost there) pic to everyone.

    • Rachel Sea

      I love #10. #1 and #9 are going to give me nightmares.

    • Mystik Spiral

      I love that last one.

    • Cruelty Cupcake

      #2 actually frightens me and that’s really saying something.

    • SA

      What the F is going on in #2???!!!

      #6 – When life hands you an abandoned baby and lemons…make lemonade?

      #8 & #9 Are wrong on so many types of levels. YIKES!

    • Dixie

      Number 9 made me LOL!

    • kellyshaun

      AAHAH…very very interesting
      http://bit.ly/Chiness

    • Allyson_et_al

      This is the photo I used for my son’s birth announcement. Some people thought it was weird, but it just captured their relationship so perfectly.

      • Bethany Ramos

        So funny and cute!

      • Allyson_et_al

        Aww, thanks! They’re 13 and 11 now, and this is still my favorite picture of the two of them. And they still pretty much have this reaction to each other.

      • Jessifer

        My sister got the chicken pox the week my brother was born, so all the newborn photos of the 3 of us consist of me sitting on one end the couch holding him and my sister completely on the other end crying because she can’t go near him!

    • jordana

      Haha #2 wtf? Did they mean for it to be ironically creepy? Like sawed off muppet hands….

      • Allyson_et_al

        Right? Those Muppet hands will haunt my dreams.

    • personal

      I wonder what it says about me that I loved all of them (except number 9. That was WEIRD!).

    • SarahJane86

      Baby in the mail box makes me sea sick. It’s at this really weird angle and I’m finding it very upsetting.

      Also, I’d never, ever do it in a million years, but number 9 makes me laugh.

    • Pappy

      Not all of these are creepy. I remember when the adopted son one came out a few years ago, I thought it was so cute and clever. What a funny, affectionate send-up of traditional new baby photos. And the hand one (#1) is kind of sweet.

    • Jezebeelzebub

      that adopted kid one is friggin awesome, though. that kid and his parents have a killer sense of humor.

    • Pingback: The 10 Worst Pregnancy Reveal Ideas For Facebook

    • AugustW

      For the record, they hold the baby’s head, and then edit out the assistants hands.

    • AugustW

      Also: not limited to professional shoots. That’s me. My parents were weird. Or bored.

    • Caitlin Burrows

      #3 wouldn’t have been as bad if the baby was wearing a diaper, too. (Also, as you’ve seen on STFU, Parents: nude baby + white blanket = bad idea)