Are you still making food in your crock pot? What a NOOB. Just kidding, I am too. It wasn’t until recently as I was time-warping through Pinterest that I discovered you can also make a bunch of weird, random crap in your slow cooker. If you are sick of using your slow cooker for food like a chump, you’ve come to the right place.
My first foray into non-food crock pot cooking was when I used my slow cooker to make wassail for my family. If you’ve never heard of wassail before, then come visit me in the German oasis of New Braunfels, Texas. Every year we attend Wassailfest in the downtown square of the city, which basically means that we drunk drive strollers around on blocked-off city streets and taste test wassail served from roadside crock pots to vote on who makes the best spiked wassail in all the land. Yes, this is a true story.
The point of the matter is this. Use your crock pot for anything and everything, even the really weird stuff, starting with:
1. Make Wassail: Wassail is amazing, and you better believe that I will be using this recipe to celebrate Wassailfest in the fall. Also, the recipe calls for Tang, which is kind of white trash and makes me like it even more.
2. Make Candles: Why are you still buying candles like a capitalist heathen? Start making them in your crock pot right NOW.
3. Dye Yarn: Warning, if you like to follow rules, you are only supposed to dye yarn in a crock pot that is no longer used for cooking—because poison, and all that stuff.
4. Make Soap: If you run out of soap because some jerk didn’t leave you any in the shower (ahem), you can use your crock pot to whip up more in a pinch.
5. Make Play Dough: If you are a mom, then you know your kid is going to eat Play Dough sooner or later, and you’ll spend hours on Google examining and comparing pictures of their poop. Or, you could just make this non-toxic crock pot Play Dough instead and stop checking your toddler’s teeth for doughy residue.