STFU Parents: Will Parents Ever Stop ‘Momsplaining’ And ‘Dadsplaining’ Parenthood To The Internet?

A lot of internet trends get under my skin once I’ve scrolled past the thousandth share on social media, but the one that irritates me the most is probably “parent-splaining,” or, parents explaining parenthood to their non-parent friends. I long for the day when I can go online and not haphazardly come face-to-screen with yet another post outlining why parenting is the best gig ever, why parenting sucks donkey balls, why parents are so tired, why parents hate their non-parent friends, why parents miss their non-parent friends, why parents wish their friends would understand how important and all-consuming parenting is…you get the picture. Every day, a new piece of “brilliance” makes its internet debut, and I, for one, am bored of watching this never-ending parade of explanatory nonsense march past my constantly rolling eyeballs.

I know I don’t have to read these trend pieces. I could choose to do anything with my time. I could read a book, paint a watercolor inspired by my systemic rage, or start a hardcore band and write songs like “10 Reasons Parents Think They’re Fucking Martyrs.” But instead, I dutifully open my laptop each morning with the vague hope that I won’t come across yet another list or rant that’s been picked up by a mainstream outlet and has 300 thousand shares and is titled something like,“Once We Become Parents We Don’t Want to Hang Out With You Anymore (But Not for the Reasons You Think)”, or was posted on a personal blog and has been circulating online for years, like Jason Good’s 2011 post “To all my friends without children” (last posted by a parent in my Facebook stream three weeks ago). I don’t always click on these bait-laden traps, but just knowing they’re gaining traction can send me into an existential downward spiral.

Mostly, I wonder why so many parents feel inclined to dictate to their friends what any rational person already knows: Kids change your life. Kids change your schedule. Kids make it so that you can no longer “party into the night” because there’s shit that needs to get done. I’m actually surprised more mothers don’t wear those cheeky t-shirts that say stuff like “Ain’t nobody got time for dat! I’M A MOM!” or feature a drawing of a frazzled looking mother with “Because kids.” written in bold lettering underneath. We’ve managed to elevate motherhood (and parenthood in general) so it’s not only normal foradvertisers to extol the virtues of selfless child-rearers, but it’s also normal for parents to become Master Explainers the second they “cross over” into parenthood. It’s an oddly antagonistic yet remarkably passive-aggressive way of telling all the clueless, childless folks that they don’t know shit. If parents aren’t penning their own special essays to “explain” all of the changes that have occurred post-baby, they’re linking to those viral “Let Me Break It Down For You Idiots” posts on social media — a subtle but friendly jab masquerading as “tips” for friends without kids, not to mention an “AMIRITE, parents?!”, high-five moment for those who do.

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    • Williwaw

      I don’t buy that two-hours-to-get-ready crap. I have a toddler and still manage to get him and myself ready and out the door in thirty minutes every day. This morning I even found time to clean up cat poop! And still made my train!

      • leeloo

        I used to know someone who took hours to get herself and her kid ready. She spent most of that time alternating between standing around looking lost, and telling me how overwhelmingly busy she is. I imagine the lives of these Facebook-posters to be pretty similar.

      • BarlowGirl

        I baby-sat a kid once who took about an hour, hour and a half to get ready. She a.) had ADHD and was kind of unfocused in the morning for obvious reasons b.) couldn’t tell time at 8/9/10 c.) was spoiled beyond belief.

        Guess which of those added more to the slowness.

    • Sharon Ramage

      I read the first sentence in the SAHM post and was like “nope”, next page.

    • Layla

      Not sure why I still read but kinda over the whole STFU thing. We get it there are assholes on the Internet. Some whom happen to be parents blah blah blah blah blah. There are plenty of morons and selfish jerks from all walks of life. I think this will be the last stfu post I read. Just seems like it’s the same thing over and over. Does anyone else feel the same way? (I’m not defending any of the actions/posts in above article – pretty much all are horrendous)

      • Liz

        Yes. And if you don’t go along with the hoard mentalilty you are attacked. Over it.

      • Gangle

        I enjoy STFU. I will keep reading. I don’t think you are wrong to be tired or bored of something if it no longer interests you. I used to like The Simpsons, but now I am over it. That is ok. I promise nobody will twist your arm and force you to read any more of them!!

    • wispy

      I really don’t get how childless friends inviting you to do something causes distress in relationships. I would guess that NOT being invited would cause distress in my relationship bc I’d be pissed about not being invited to do anything lol. So I just don’t get it!

      • Di Another Day

        It concerns me that one person taking care of the kids for a few hours so the other can go have fun is “distressing.” This doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship at all.

    • http://www.thislemonyogurt.com/ Amanda

      I’ll admit it- I once made one of those lists of daily minutiae. I did it because I was curious at what exactly it is that I DO all day.

      Difference was- I did not then share it on Facebook in a “look at how busy I ammmmmm” kind of way. I just looked it over and thought- damn. No wonder I’m spent after 12 hours of that.

      • whiteroses

        I’ve done that too. Then I sent it to my husband. Of course, that list has never been made public.

    • wonderstruck

      I am automatically suspicious of anyone who feels the need to do FB rundowns of every little tiny thing they did that day. I mean, what is missing that you need recognition THAT badly? And I am suspicious of your parenting in general if you have posts about how your priorities are SOOOO different now that you’re a mommy and everyone needs to suck it up and realize it! Because what are you generally like if having partying not be your priority is a drastic enough change to notify your FB friends? Is everything really so extreme that you used to be all about partying and now OMG heaven forbid you ask your child’s father to ‘babysit’ so you can have a life?

      And of course, if you don’t know the difference between your and you’re, then I just feel obligated to hate you.

      • Gangle

        I hate the lists too…. especially when said lists include ‘I let the dog out’ or ‘I ate my breakfast’ or ‘I put on a DVD’. I mean, I get that parenting means that you do lots of endless, repetitive, mundane shit like cleaning, cooking, changing dirty childrens clothes, trying to get errands done etc that would keep you on your feet all day, but when you start needing to put in fillers like ‘I refilled my water bottle’ or ‘I brushed my teeth’ or ‘I caught up on my facebook account’ I seriously start doubting how hectic your day really actually was. And the anti-partying posts? Ugh. I am 9 weeks off having my first baby. Partying is not part of my life now, nor probably will be for the near future. I am happy with that. I am also happy to stay in contact with my awesome single/childfree pals who party like its 1999 every weekend. I may not be able to join them on many of their jaunts, at least not right now, but I don’t see why having differing life stages/ priorities means that we can’t still be friends and catch up when we can.

    • Marie

      I can’t stand the whiny “work” lists put out by SAHM’s. Guess what? My day consists of getting up an hour or two before you (despite having all the night time distractions you do), getting two kids up and dressed, getting myself presentable for work (not just sweats and ponytail), and driving my kids to the babysitter. Then I work as a nurse for eight hours with no Facebook breaks, no walks in the sunshine and no putting on a Dora video so my patients don’t bug me for 30 minutes or so. If I’m lucky I get enough time to wolf down the meal I packed back at 6 am while you were still snoozing.
      Then after work I pick up my kids and do all those chores and errands that you had all day to do and yes, I have to drag my kids along too despite the fact that we’re all tired from a long day. Sure, I may not have to do my house cleaning with a toddler “helping” me, but that’s because I have to do it at nine o’clock at night while you’re putting your feet up and writing facebook posts about how hard your life is. And yes, I have been a stay at home mom. It’s way easier than working. It also makes you stupid, entitled and lazy. If you’re all worn out and feeling sorry for yourself because you think looking after a kid or two all day is terribly hard work you are either lazy or doing something very wrong.

      • Gangle

        I always like how they add on to the chore list ‘eat breakfast’, ‘let out the dog’, ‘turn on tv’ and ‘brush my teeth’.

      • jenstar

        Eating breakfast was always more of a chore when I was childless and hungover, to be fair :D

    • Guest

      But for real; I’ve not had kids yet (because birth control is a wonderful thing) all I hear is “cracked nipples” “no sleep”. “Kid won’t LET me have coffee”; it doesn’t exactly sound appealing. …fuck it I’m at a bar bye!

      • http://www.ephemeraanddetritus.com/ koangirl

        My nipples are fabulous, I have had plenty of sleep (I’ve had jobs that allowed me less sleep), I drink a ton of delicious coffee. It’s not as bad as it sounds.

    • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

      Okay, we get it — parenting is a tough gig, and it’s 24/7. But for the love of god, it won’t kill you, your partner, or your kid to hire a sitter (or leave Kid with Partner) and make time for your friends! I swear, the world is not going to end.

    • BeechTree

      AMAZING – I actually know list-making Meghan IRL. She is INCREDIBLY smug. She’s one of the many parents I know on FB who should STFU, but wow. That makes my day.

      • Justme

        Ooh…we BOTH know her! That’s kind of awesome. She wasn’t that smug in high school…I don’t know what happened to her. I finally defriended her on Facebook because I couldn’t handle the marathons, breastfeeding, co-sleeping superiority complex.

      • BeechTree

        Motherhood definitely smugged her up – I agree that she didn’t used to be that way! I still follow her just to get myself all riled up every once in awhile, I guess. :)

      • Justme

        She is one of the people who give the AP movement a bad name. I just found myself so angry at her self-righteous tirades regarding breastfeeding, co-sleeping, natural birth, and no vaccinations.

      • BeechTree

        Agreed. I don’t have children yet, but I’m generally of the mindset that every parent is doing the best they possibly can within the confines of their own situation and environment, and I really find myself getting pissed when someone proclaims with certainty and superiority that their way is the best or only way.

    • ChickenKira

      If Scherrie knew that my husband goes out with his (90% childfree) friends to the football regularly while I stay at home with our daughter, and that I go out with a (childfree) friend of mine regularly in our quest to eat at every single restaurant in our city with an 85% or higher rating on UrbanSpoon while my husband stays at home with our daughter, because we understand that we each need time with our friends to not be parents and just be people who enjoy sport/food, her head my explode.

      I would say it doesn’t cause friction in our relationship, if anything, it strengthens it because we each get a break and we respect that the other needs their break too.

    • ChickenKira

      Why did Meghan need to call the tow truck company so many times? Were there multiple car accidents outside her house or something?

      • MellyG

        i was wondering that myself…my guess is she’s one of those people that is SO important and has to call them 100 times because SHE can’t possibly wait so she has to harass the company

      • Fluffy_1

        Every time she calls the company, they put her at the bottom of the list.

    • Sarahstired

      I wonder what SAHMs think us working moms do. I am not trying to start a mommy war or who has it harder. I have stayed at home, worked full time and done both part time. I much prefer the work full time because I can’t do the full time mommy gig. But these lists of what you do all day, us working moms do the same thing, but in the middle of it, we work for 8 hours. It’s not like we all have cleaning services and drivers.

      • RCIAG

        Oh no, you’ve got it wrong YOU are the cleaning service, driver, doctor, cook, etc., etc.

      • AP

        You’d get a similar list if you wrote out everything you did at work each day: got to work, put lunch away, changed shoes, put coat away, turned on computer, checked in with coworkers already working, checked paperwork that piled up overnight, check e-mail, answer e-mail, check voicemail, return voice mail, walk to meeting, take notes at meeting, walk back to office….etc., etc., etc.

    • Sarahstired

      hold the phone, I just re-read the list and she buys a $20 shut up toy every time at Target?! She is a bigger idiot than I previously thought.

      • MellyG

        I’m not a parent, but i feel like if you’re bribing your kid constantly you are NOT a very good parent

      • brebay

        I know!!! Great parenting!

      • brebay

        I know!!! Great parenting!

      • Fluffy_1

        My mum never bought me stuff to shut up while we went shopping. I was just told to behave myself, or else. I may need therapy.

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    • jerseygirl17

      I recently joined the dark side. I have 1-month-old twins who are sleeping right now. And I still have no idea what these nuts are talking about. I brushed my teeth before, too.

    • http://www.ephemeraanddetritus.com/ koangirl

      I have a very active/vocal/sleepless 3 month old and I still get everything done that I got done before, with the added bonus that I get to stay home and not have to haul my ass to work every morning and still get all that shit done. Childless people eat, do laundry, run errands, clean the house too. I’m a bit more tired than before due to his crappy sleep patterns but it’s really not as hard as they make it sound. Oh, and I’m sure as hell going to hand him over to his father to watch while I go out to see friends. We actively encourage each other to take advantage of at least one evening a week to go out and do solo adult things. I started taking fencing lessons when he was 8 weeks old. The world didn’t fall apart.

      Also, I unconditionally love my husband, my parents, a lot of good friends over the years…

    • http://eastberlin.tumblr.com/ emotionalsquid

      You have no idea how badly posts like Meghan’s make me want to dig out my anatomy textbook and list all the steps in the production of ATP.

    • randyfitzimmons

      Has anyone ever pointed out the irony of them having time to write out these exhaustive lists and go on Facebook all the time?

    • Psych Student

      I (like so many other people) *hate* hearing that I don’t understand unconditional love without kids. I know unconditional love because, like Jake, I share it with my wife. It took about 2.5 years to settle into the knowledge that there is nothing I can do to drive my wife away. I know that she knows that there is no one else out there better for her than me because we are so very perfect for one another. If she puked all over the house, I’d clean it up and take care of her. No matter how messy she gets, it’s not going to get rid of me because I do love her unconditionally and was able to do it without children.

    • KDG

      I’m actually really offended by women who insinuate that people without kids can’t possibly know the meaning of “busy” or “exhausted.” I lost my very nice college teaching job completely out of the blue a couple of months ago, so I’ve fallen back on my old stand-by money maker: painting. As in painting houses. I get up at 6 or 7 and I’m on the job by eight. Sometimes, I don’t finish until 8 p.m. I just came out of a two week period with 0 days off. By the end of the day, I’m so freaking worn out, it’s all I can do to eat some scrambled eggs and pass out (no sex for you, boyfriend!). But no..I don’t understand exhaustion and busy-ness because I haven’t had to spend a morning washing my face, brushing my teeth, folding towels, and reading to someone while they take a dump.

    • Geogirl

      I now want to respond to Meghan with “I wake up at 2am to get to work before 3, after work I go to grad school.” Only much more detailed.
      Also, I’m rather impressed that apparently none of the non-moms Erica knows have a job. I suspect that that’s how many people, parents or not fill their “busy” days.

    • Dee

      Man guys, all this time I thought having a degree and a career I love was fulfilling and made me happy! Now I see that I have to have children. There’s no way. I’m not a real human being if I don’t.

      • Di Another Day

        Right, I thought that having a job I love where I restore peoples’ quality of life was meaningful, too. Shows what I know!

      • Fluffy_1

        If that’s the case, then I’m happy with not being a real human being. :)

    • MellyG

      so based on “Scherrie” – am i not supposed to ask my friends to do things? ever? thankfully i have friends who have the ability to say “eh, no thanks, my husband can’t stay home that night” or “can’t get a sitter” if it’s not a kid appropriate thing. I’m not sure why that’s distressful – i’m sure she appreciates the invite over NOT ever inviting her

      • RCIAG

        Wanna bet if she found out you had a dinner party or some event at your house & she wasn’t invited because you thought she wouldn’t be able to come because of her babies that she’d be super pissed?

        Sucker bet if ya take it.

      • MellyG

        that was my next thought – she’s probably the same person that raises hell every time she’s NOT invited to something. Some people just want to bitch

    • RCIAG

      First, I gotta comment on the names, Scherrie? Lovelyn? REALLY?!!

      Anyhoo, this unconditional love thing, kids grow up, shit changes, love changes, even your child’s love will change.

      Pets love unconditionally, most humans don’t. And if you kick a dog or cat enough they’ll start to fear you at the very least.

      I don’t know about anyone else but even the most “normal” of us have, at some point in a fit of rage (usually over something stupid), said “I hate you” to our parents.

      One day Nick…..once day. Enjoy that whole “unconditional” thing while you can.

      Gold Star to Jake though for trying.

      I also say fuck you to that bullshit of “knowing tired.” Spend 6 months getting chemo & in the middle of that have your appendix burst & have it removed then have your chest cracked open to remove the rest of the mass & recover from that THEN tell me how tired you are. I’m sure my husband would’ve traded wiping baby asses & dragging them around in & out of car seats over all that.

      But I guess parents would add in “But try doing that WITH KIDS!! THEN YOU’LL REEAAALLLY KNOW TIRED!!”

      Tired is relative & my husband’s experience (& many others), while different, isn’t “less” than yours because we’re not parents.

      Or what about folks with chronic illnesses or the kids taking care of their own Baby Boomer parents, that’s a reverse baby situation, are those folks less or more tired than parents of young children?

      It’s a lame & tired discussion. Literally. It diminishes others & their experiences when parents pull that “tired” card.

      • Fluffy_1

        I swear, that if a parent ever says “You don’t know tired til you have kids!” to me after a night spent sleepless due to insomnia, they are going to have to visit Casualty to remove the biros embedded in their faces. Fuck that shit. Kids grow up out of keeping you awake all night; insomnia doesn’t.

    • MellyG

      First of all – i hate comparing “Tired’ or “busy” – you’re always going to sound like a douche. It’s all relatively anyway, and i’m sure everyone on the planet can always find someone busier than they are. Life isn’t a competition – i shudder to think what these mommies are instilling in their kids

      also, bullshit on the unconditional love crap- i guess i can’t love my own parents unconditionally, or my grandmother can’t love her partner of 60 freaking years……..

    • crazygemini12

      I love SAHMs detailing things like pouring cereal for breakfast and letting the dog out. I wasn’t aware you had to have kids to do these things, or that it’s so exhausting to open and shut a door or pour cereal. I guess I’m too wiped from having to work two jobs and go to school at the same time to know how exhausting that must be. (shrug)

    • http://www.timerecalled.com Lyn

      “Now that I have kids, I have absolutely no time for anything else, except writing long facebook updates about how busy I am now I have kids”

      • Fluffy_1

        Yeah; it’s funny how all these parents who are sooo busy and rushed off their feet cuz they have kids seem to spend about twice as much time online than I do.

    • Betty Martin

      “paint a watercolor inspired by my systemic rage”
      I can sooo relate to that!
      I want to throw out there that being a mother does not make you a saint, or even a good person. Sure, your children are the best ever in the world, but EVERYBODY has/had a mother. Some of the mothers died. Some of them raised folks like Adolf Hitler or Ted Bundy or Norman Bates. Some of them killed their own children, either before or after birth. Mothers are human beings, and like all human beings in the world, some are bad and some are not so bad. None are perfect.
      And the word (name?) “mommy” makes me vomit. But maybe that’s just a holdover from the old days when my own dear mother would slap anyone who called her “mommy.”

    • Bubble

      “It is/was condescending but I stand by it”? um… what?

    • brebay

      “lil” makes me so ragey…

    • brebay

      Remember before you had kids and your dog never barked, and your car never broke down, and you never had laundry?

    • Albert8184

      One trend that irritates me is the use of foul language to lend that extra “punch” to their writing. And the sub-trend of encapsulating whole phrases of inner city ghetto speak in texting-style acronyms like STFU. Or WTF. Or LMAO!… Pop culture is taking too much for granted I think.

      Are they aiming at an audience of wanna-be ghetto hoods and bar trash? Or do they have the impression that profanity makes them stylish to all normal adults?

    • CrabbyGabbybird

      Wow. These parents chap my ass. Sorry, but I could not have children. God gave me a funky uterus. And about being busy……I am a 50 ish hardworking nurse with a mother with Alzheimer’s that I am helping keep in her own home. Do not ANYBODY tell me I do not what unconditional love or sacrifice or being busy! I love this column because I always run into people who judge me, at my age, that I am childless! I don’t give my personal health report out to everyone! I want to whack some sense into these people at times. (Sorry for the rant. I am off a hard shift at work so venting feels good!)

    • http://vulvs.tumblr.com/ oofstar

      why is number 4 calling tow trucks all day? is that a euphemism for masturbating? heroin?

    • http://vulvs.tumblr.com/ oofstar

      and how come number five’s prebaby busy day doesn’t involve working or engaging in any hobbies? I have a job (hour commute each way), 2 bands, a few non music creative projects and a home that needs as much maintenance as any. my busy days rarely involve shopping and beauty treatments. I guess these folks didn’t know what busy meant because before they were parents they were super boring and without any interests? do you know how long it takes to go by train to get my amp stored in the suburbs, drive back, carry my drummer’s equipment down our 4 flights of stairs and down the street where I could legally park, and then sit in traffic for a couple hours on the way to the show? it’s a whole day. sometimes 2 for having to return the car. and I don’t even get to relax with a beer at the show cause I’m designated driver. but I don’t know what it’s like to be busy. if only my non musician friends could understand.

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    • Laura Solo

      Geez, these damn parents and their lists of “all the hard work is involved in taking care of my CHILD”
      You know how my morning was? Like any other morning I had before I had a child; except, you know, I HAVE A CHILD. I didn’t realize I should have been complaining about pouring some cereal and milk in a bowl for my daughter’s breakfast.
      If a person itemizes ANYTHING it’ll sound like a lot of work. Example:
      1) Wake up at 7
      2) Roll out of bed
      3) Go to the bathroom
      4) Take a wizz
      5) wipe self
      6) Flush toilet
      7) Wash hands
      8) Brush teeth
      9) Take a shower
      10) Dry self; put on clean clothes
      11) Blow dry hair
      12) Leave bathroom
      13) Make yourself breakfast
      14) Eat breakfast
      15) put dishes in sink

      Doesn’t that look like SO much??

    • Ramona

      As the birthday comes up that I never had any interest in being conscious for alone–this helps me feel peace.
      When all y’all asswhipes are busting a sweat because your dream of parenthood materialized just be glad you can move your limbs, that you’re not paralyzed frozen by how incredibly much longer our life spans are compared to 100 years ago.
      Get over yourselves before we start calling CPS on your asses for not wanting your kids.

    • Jen

      Confession – I started grad school the same time my friends were getting their first raises and had a few times when they’d invite me out to do something and I got privately snitty and griping about how dare they flaunt their extra time and money around me and didn’t they KNOW I had assignments to do and school to pay for?

      Then I realized that I chose those hardships because I thought the degree worth it, realized they were just trying to stay connected with me, and worked out just how much time and money I could budget for friends and stuck with that. If they wanted to do something outside my budget then I suggested something else or promised to join up with them another time. And somehow I didn’t lose any friends to school. Amazing how that worked.

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    • Brandi

      As a work at home mom of a 4 year old and a 1 year old, I find parent-splaining obnoxious. I could post status updates about how hard it is to take care of 2 small kids while working; but I don’t, because, regardless of how difficult it can be, I consider myself lucky to have that option and, honestly, everyone has their horrible workday stories. I will admit to sharing lots of cute photos of my kids on FB, but I definitely avoid any and all obnoxious posts listed above.

      The articles I hate the most are the “why parents don’t hang out with their non-parent friends anymore”. I still make time for all of my friends – parents or not. Sometimes the plans with these friends include my kids, sometimes they do not. Once or twice a month my husband and I gleefully walk out the door for a much needed adult only evening feeling no guilt in leaving our children happily playing with a doting grandparent or my fun (but responsible) 18-year old cousin. All parents should invest in a little “me” or “me and significant other” time and then we would have less parent-splaining.

    • Fluffy_1

      I just love being childfree and having a self cleaning house, laundry that just flies thru the air and lands itself in the washing machine, then flies out and dries itself before folding itself and putting itself away… not to mention the bills that pay themselves and the groceries which magically appear in my fridge and cupboards every week…

      Oh, wait. I still have to do all that shit despite not having spawned. F off, entitled parents.

    • dz0123

      I can deal with being told that I don’t know what busy is. Whatever. That’s fine. Maybe I don’t. Busy is all perspective. But this last guy’s comment makes me beyond angry. 1 in 8 couples suffer with infertility, and we are one of them. I would love to have a child. In fact, we’ve spent a ridiculous amount of money trying to do so. There is still a good chance that we never will. We are healthy enough to have adoption as an option, but there are many people that can’t say the same. Those people know love, have love, and want to give love. Just because you can reproduce doesn’t mean that you hold the monopoly on unconditional love. Comments like these are heartbreaking to people like me.

    • leebossa

      yeah, and WHO CARES? you’re a parent, you made the choice, enough, i don’t need the whole sermon on the Mount.

    • VJ Cole

      God, I just want to smack Erica. Whenever a SAHM – especially one that has a HUSBAND – starts talking about how busy she is, I just want to roll my eyes. I was a single mom, so when my son was small, my day involved all the things she mentions as far as getting herself and her child ready, then taking my child ON THE BUS to the home daycare that I was fortunate enough to find near my office, then going to work and usually skipping lunch so I could get out of work at a decent hour, then picking up my son and going home – again, on the bus – then making dinner, doing laundry, etc., etc., etc. And guess what? Now that my son is well into adulthood, I STILL have a busy life. I’m away from home from 6:00 am to 6:00 pm during the week, and usually have to use my weekends to do laundry, clean the house, spend time with my mom, spend time with my son and his girlfriend, and do any shopping that needs to be done – which is usually grocery shopping and other NECESSARY shopping. Mani-pedis? Going out dancing? Not happening. Getting my OIL changed? Done on the weekend. Yes, I understand that SAHMs are busy – but it makes me crazy when they act holier than though about being busier than anyone else.