mother

In case you haven’t heard, Mother’s Day is the day about the mother. This is the day where you are supposed to celebrate any lady who has had the gall to grow another human being for nine months, sweat profusely in public, and bring new life into the world. She deserves it, and don’t you ever forget it.

I only have two Mother’s Days under my belt, and I am still somewhat uncomfortable with all the glory. And by glory I mean random relatives wishing me Happy Mother’s Day—hold the red carpet, please. As a mother, my Mother’s Day requests are relatively simple. I don’t want to do any type of manual labor, and I’d rather someone else keep an eye on my crazy kids. I would also like to eat some delicious food that I didn’t spend hours slaving away over in my crock pot. But that’s just me.

Since there are so many mothers in the world, I don’t see Mother’s Day as a holiday that requires major fanfare. But it is nice if you can find it in your heart to cut your mother a break. She has spent years keeping children alive. All she wants is to kick up her feet and drink her GD Bailey’s and coffee in peace. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? I think not.

On Mother’s Day, any mother with a brain in her head does not want to:

1. Wake Up At Dawn.

2. Put Away All The Kids’ Toys From The Night Before.

3. Cook A Big Meal For Extended Family That “Pops” By.

4. Clean Anything.

5. Change Dirty Diapers.

6. Make A Reservation At Her Favorite Restaurant.

7. Wait For Two Hours At Her Favorite Restaurant Because Someone Forgot To Make A Reservation.

8. Listen To Fighting In The Car On The Way To The Restaurant.

9. Cut Up Food For The Toddler While Nursing The Baby While Trying To Eat At The Restaurant.

10. Make Small Talk With Family Way Past The Kids’ Bedtime.

11. Put The Kids To Bed. 

12. Go To Bed Late After Picking Up The House Yet Again.