10 Places You Should Not Bring Your Mother On Mother’s Day

shutterstock_65613799Spring has sprung, and Mother’s Day is right around the corner. Have you been pinning your pins and planning an elaborate five-course meal for the mother who brought you into this world? Or are you going to be one of those dillbags that tries to slide into Chili’s at the last minute and ends up waiting for two hours on a beautiful Sunday afternoon? Shame on you.

If you already have a favorite Mother’s Day restaurant lined up, then you are good to go. But for the rest of us, we will probably be scrambling to try and figure out where we can take the in-laws and the kids to accommodate old people dinnertime, picky eaters, and screaming babies all in one. Of course, the mother isn’t supposed to worry about all that stuff, but as the younger mother in the family, you are pretty much fucked. Enjoy your stressful meal, Mother of Children. You deserve it.

Unless you plan to throw in the towel and order pizza on Mother’s Day—which I’m certainly not opposed to—you need to figure out somewhere cool to take your mother STAT. I personally would enjoy a champagne brunch at a hotel, if my husband is reading this blog (hint, hint). Other than a Mimosa to start my day, I’m easy.

I can tell you 10 places where mothers and celebrations should never meet. If you love your mother even a little bit, DO NOT take her here on Mother’s Day:

1. Hooters

2. Any Place With A Drive-Thru

3. A Pizza Place With An Arcade, Filled With Sweaty Kids

4. Strip Club, Because Someone Was Thinking It

5. Home Depot Hot Dog Cart

6. Costume-Themed Restaurant

7. Golden Corral Buffet With Suspicious, Unhygienic Chocolate Wonderfall

8. Applebee’s, At The Last Minute

9. Fancy Hotel Brunch, Without A Reservation

10. Your Kitchen, You Jerk

(Image: SFC/Shutterstock)

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You can reach this post's author, Bethany Ramos, on twitter.
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  • Andrea

    Ha ha, I was just joking with my sister about her being the “junior” mom in the family. She did not think it at all funny. But hey, my mother (a mother of THREE with almost 40 years as a mother) trumps all of us. But I am still ahead of her since I’ve been doing it for 14 years and she only has 5.
    ETA: I am just joking…both of us get shafted in favor of my mother.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Yeah, as the newest mom, I have to just go with the flow. :(

    • Valerie

      Ohh nooooo. Not fair.

    • http://www.celcomplan.com SarahZigler

      yes it it,,

    • Andrea

      Well one good thing came out of it this year: my mother wanted to go to a restaurant that, unfortunately, only served a brunch buffet on Sunday. None of us are big fans of paying to fight for our food, so we are having dinner on Sat night. That means we can “honor” my mother on Sat night and have Sunday to ourselves to do nothing. WIN!

    • Valerie

      I’ve always thought that the moms “in the trenches” deserve the easiest of days. Like, my mom is no longer actively parenting because all of us are grown-ups. Lol. Sure we all appreciate her and do nice things for her and buy her gifts but when it comes down to it, I think the younger mom who still has poop on her hands (literally) should get to call the shots. Luckily, my mother agrees and has always been awesome to me and my cousins with kids on M-day. Now, I think my cousin with a 20 month old and 5 month old should be the queen because she has it the hardest, in my opinion. :-) Oh, she also just finished her chemo for breast cancer so can we all give her a big round of applause? I plan to spoil her silly on Sunday and hold her baby for her all day so she can relax. :-)

    • Andrea

      That’s a very good way of looking at it. Would never fly in my family where seniority rules. It’s all in good fun though.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Awww, yes – so happy for you both!!

    • Megan Zander

      That’s great!! I hope she has a super indulgent day, she deserves it.

    • Valerie

      Agreed! Sadly, she still has a lot ahead of her- surgery and whatnot. But this is a big milestone and I’m so happy for her. I have to brag on her because I have never seen anyone handle this kind of situation the way she has- you would never ever know she was even sick. She still works out, she looks amazing and takes great care of her little boys. Most of all, her attitude is astounding- so positive and bright. I don’t know how she’s doing it. She is literally my hero.

    • Megan Zander

      With a 20 month old and a 5 month old I would struggle to workout and stay positive and keep it together even without health issues. She sounds amazing.

    • Obladi Oblada

      To quote a my husband when he’s talking about a particularly spectacular woman, “What a woman!”
      Please wish her well from me…I’m sending good thoughts and prayers for continued good health. :)

    • val97

      I love it. That is so sweet.

      I always thought the same thing about the moms in the trenches. Why does my husband’s step grandmother get to decide what the rest of us do on mother’s day? She is retired and hasn’t had kids in her home for many decades. I know she’s old, but every day is kind of a vacation day. Also, she doesn’t ever remember my kid’s names, not that I expect her to. And that’s why I opted out of the group mother’s day activities a long time ago.

  • Valerie

    My family is awesome because Mother’s Day is pretty much a Lady Drunk Fest. The husbands/fathers do all the driving and whatever and me, my mom, my aunts, my cousins and my gram all drink mimosas and wine and whatever cocktails we feel like having and chat all day. We each bring one brunchy type food and we all eat at some point while the kids play in the yard. It is honestly one of my fave days of the year. The times I have been stuck with the in-laws we have gone out to eat and I’ve never enjoyed it. Any server that is a mom or has a mom has other places they would rather be and I never find it pleasant. I like to be at my mom’s house chillin on her beautiful back deck with a drink in hand and my husband doing my bidding. I am the evil queen for realz on Mother’s Day.

    • Bethany Ramos

      This sounds AMAZING.

    • Valerie

      It is great. It’s one of maybe 3 days a year I am glad my mom is a super control freak because she instituted this tradition years ago and never really gave anyone another option. Lol. She paved the way for the rest of us to be demanding. :-)

    • Butt Trophy Recipient

      Oh SNAPS! I’m going over to Val’s this Sunday!

    • Valerie

      Come on over. I can always use another handmaiden….gentleman…to do as I say!

    • TwentiSomething Mom

      I love the sound of a lady drunk fest. We usually do that too- we go to my Grandma’s and her sisters, her sister’s kids and grandkids all come over as well (so its a lot of us) and we drink wine, talk shit and eat Chinese food and let the guys deal with the kids.

  • Megan Zander

    I’m doing a 10k with my mom on Mothers Day morning. It’s wicked early, so it’s just the two of us (my sister declined to run). I’m looking forward to it, it’s not my usual frantic cooking brunch for 30. And afterwards I’ll spend the day with my babies and a bottle of Riesling. Should be fun.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Aw, that sounds really fun! I am actually going to be returning from a weekend vacation with my family at the river that day, so I don’t know if I’ll do much besides relax. :-) #Firstworldproblems

    • Megan Zander


  • Ursi

    So we celebrate with both our mothers after Mothers day due to scheduling issues and my mom prefer a platter of Denny’s pancakes, so we just give her what she wants. (If you take her to a nice restaurant she complains about how much everything costs, regardless of who’s paying)

    But I keep trying to talk my spouse into just the two of us going to one of those awesome upscale brunch buffet deals when we’re free on Sun morning because no one has to know we’re the childless folk infringing on everyone’s motherfest. I could be a mother in theory, hand over the eggs benedict.

  • val97

    My mom lives far away, so I just send her flowers every year. I opted out of the big in-law brunch get together about 3 or 4 years ago. I just told my husband that I dread it (I love his mother but not any of the other relatives) and that I should be able to do whatever I want on mother’s day. And what I want to do is nothing.

  • Jennifer Freeman

    The Home Depot hot dog cart would make my entire day! Sadly our HD does not have a hot dog cart. For serious, I love some hot dogs and I love HD.

  • Paul White

    Any real restuarant. Mother’s Day and Valentine’s day are just godawful dining experiences.

  • Shelly Lloyd

    This Mother’s Day I’ll be in the bakery, doing last minute cakes for the assholes who forgot to pre-order a cake, and wants one made, like RIGHT THIS F*CKING MINUTE! I’m not even the professional cake decorator, but I’ll have to do my best and then get to hear the fucktards whine about how it doesn’t like perfect. Too fucking bad. If you want a custom made cake pre-order it. If not then you have to deal with whatever I can put together.

  • Kendra

    My family is full of non-holiday celebrators. I’ll call my mom up and be like “Hey, Happy Mother’s Day!” and she’ll be like “Yeah, you too!” and that will pretty much be the end of our celebration.

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      ME TOO!!!

  • http://nessyhart.wordpress.com/ pixie

    My dad and I are going to be up early to drive my mom to the airport because she’s going to Cayman for a business trip.
    I don’t normally do anything else than get a card for her, though, because we don’t really celebrate all the “special” days in my family. I show my appreciation to both my parents every day of the year, anyways.

  • koolchicken

    My husband asked me today what I wanted and where I wanted to go. I was thinking of asking for world domination and the moon, but it seems pricey and I’m not sure if he can pull it off in a week.

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