Teen Battling School Board So Her ‘Old’ Boyfriend Can Go To Prom

Teen battles school board to take older boyfriend to promUgh, seriously? No one wants this old dude at the prom. He needs to just stay home and play Halo while the rest of the kids enjoy the dance. Old dudes, am I right? But this guy, Ethan Gleason isn’t actually old at all at the ripe age of 22 years, it’s just that compared to kids in their teens, that age feels pretty damn old. But whatever, because Torrington High’s Schools 18-year-old honor student Mikayla Perlotto is going to fight the good fight, because she wants her boyfriend to be able to take her to prom. Torrington High School has a policy that no one over 20 is allowed at the prom, but Mikayla took to Facebook and asked for help in convincing the school board to change their minds:

Screen Shot 2014-04-25 at 7.51.46 AMThis was after Mikayla wrote a 229 word screed bitching about the whole situation:

Screen Shot 2014-04-25 at 7.54.39 AM

School board chairman Ken Traub said the following regarding the situation in a report by the Register Citizen:

“You’re putting age groups together that are way too different,” he said. “I know there’s going to be 15-year-olds there.”

 

Mikayla’s mom has her own opinions:

“We don’t just let our daughter date anybody,” she said. “But he’s been over at for dinner, to family functions, to Easter brunch. He’s part of our family. I see the way he talks to her, opening doors for her, He’s caring; he’s considerate.”

And Ethan had this to say:

For his part, Gleason, a college student at Branford Hall Career Institute in Southington, said he rarely drinks and wouldn’t risk his future for somebody’s few minutes of fun. He said he is willing to meet with Baim to address concerns and would even allow chaperones at the prom to sweep his car or administer a Breathalyzer test at the door.

“How would I supply a whole school of minors with that?” he said. “It’s not possible. I’m not going to jeopardize myself for some kid who wants to manipulate the system.”

 

And he does have a point because he would need some pretty big prom pants in order to bring in enough flasks to get everyone at the dance trashed.

teen battles school board to take older boyfriend to prom

One part of me thinks this is just a silly rule and they should meet with Ethan, he seems like a good kid and let them go and have their prom fun, but another part of me thinks that rules are rules and too bad so sad, maybe Mikayla should just go with her friends and realize that life isn’t fair and that maybe she should have dated a dude her own age if prom was so important to her. My old boyfriend wasn’t allowed to attend prom with me, so I went with a nice gentlemen my own age while my older boyfriend got high or did shots or whatever he did. It didn’t kill me.

(Image: Facebook/tumblr)

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    • Jessifer

      First world problems…

      • CMJ

        I like to call this special snowflake problems.

      • Jessifer

        I someone wants to talk about things that are “unfair”, how about the 190 schoolgirls who were abducted in Nigeria and can’t be found. They have REAL problems.

      • CMJ

        Exactly. Life is unfair honey. Welcome to the real world.

      • sthapppit

        Yes. Because Mommyish always covers the hard hitting topics. *eyeroll*

        Isn’t checking random sights for topics you deem unimportant to complain the very definition of a first world problem? What is the intent with the comment? Are you hoping I will see this, realize I am wasting my life on silly things and go build houses for the homeless?

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        when I do write about the hard hitting topics people get mad about that too. I cannot win :(

    • Valerie

      We had some girls at my school dating older guys when we were seniors and none of them even wanted to come hang out with a bunch of high schoolers at a dance. We would go camping or have a party afterward and that is where they would see their boyfriends. I see where this girl is coming from but rules are rules- not every 22 year old is “upstanding and mature” and this would open the door for other people to bring grown adults to a teenage event. Are they going to personally vet every older person who wants to come and make sure they are “upstanding and mature” as well? I really don’t want to think of my 15-16 year old partying at a dance with a bunch of dudes old enough to be done with college. I hate to sound like a fuddy-duddy but they are still kids at that age…..

      • Jess

        Yeah, when I was a senior dating a 25-year-old, he flat out refused to go to my senior prom because he didn’t want to hang out at a high school dance. I wasn’t particularly interested in it either, so it wasn’t a big deal in the end. I can’t imagine many guys over the age of 19 really even want to go to a dance, but I probably wouldn’t have a problem with it. I was dating someone my own age for my junior prom and we had no problem getting alcohol (and other stuff) into it, so I really don’t think having older, presumably attached, men is that big of a deal.

      • Valerie

        Yeah, it’s not really the alcohol that would concern me- I know that can be had easily. I guess it just doesn’t sit right with me to think of my 15-16 year old hanging out socially with men in their 20′s. Can’t put my finger on it- just my inner fuddy-duddy, I guess. :-)

      • keelhaulrose

        When I was a senior I was saying an older man, and frankly I would have been concerned if he WANTED to hang out with a bunch of teenaged girls. Most of the kids at my prom were my age, and I sure as hell didn’t want to hang out with them, why would a 23 year old (or a 22 year old as in the story?).
        I’m getting a Matthew McConaghey (sp?) in Fast Times vibe.

      • Kelly

        Yeah, I was dating a 32 year old when I was a senior. (Spare me any lectures people, I’m 33 now and the thought of dating a high school kid sickens me.) There’s no way he would have gone to my prom and no way I would have even considered bringing him.

        But 22 is a far cry from 32 so I don’t know about this. If it’s a serious relationship and she really wants to go, I can see why he would want to go with her. At the same time, I support the school setting an age limit and if they decided 20, then it’s 20.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        Why you gotta say I can’t lecture when I love to lecture why why why why????? :( :( :(

      • whiteroses

        Yeah. I’m kind of confused why he wants to come so badly. When I was 22, you couldn’t have paid me to go to a high school party.

      • Larkin

        My hunch is that his girlfriend really, really wants him to go to the prom with her and asked him to help her convince the school to let him come. Just a guess that it probably matters waaaay more to the 18-year-old girl than it does to the 22-year-old man, and he’s trying to make her happy.

      • whiteroses

        Oh, no doubt. It’s still kind of gross though.

      • Smishsmash

        I clicked through the link and they’ve only been dating five months, which honestly makes me feel bad for him since I also get the sense she’s the one pushing this. You hook up with some chick from work and five months later you’re the national poster boy for creepy old dudes who don’t have anything better to do than go to prom like a loser? Yikes.

      • Psych Student

        When I was 22, you couldn’t have paid me to date a high schooler either, so maybe there’s something going on in this guy’s mind that just doesn’t click with us. *shrug*

      • Momma425

        I’m not necessarily concerned about this kid in this situation- but I think this is one of those things where if an exception is made for one, it opens the door to more exceptions being needed. What if he was not 22, but 25. Is 25 okay? What about 30? I’m not sure where the line is, but at some point you really don’t want a bunch of college aged guys (or older) running around at prom with high school aged girls.
        She can go, and hang out with friends instead and still have a great, once in a lieftime prom experience. Hell- I wish I had gone to my prom with friends instead of my stupid boyfriend. I would have saved pictures of me with my friends. I got rid of just about all my old prom pics after my date and I broke up. Bleh!

    • Lackadaisical

      I sympathise but if she is old enough to be in a significant relationship with a grown up man and he is mature and responsible enough not to be a problem at the prom then the are both grown up enough to not get all worked up about one night that is held on school grounds. I dated a 22 year old at 18, just as I was on study leave for my exams. Although we didn’t have a prom (before they caught on here plus all girl school) I really do understand how this might upset her, however it is run by the school and is about the experience of all the pupil, not just her. They really seem to be focusing on the booze aspect here but there is so much more to it. The guy is a man, an actual grown up man, and some of the 15 year olds may find it a bit uncomfortable having a man of 22 there as a participant rather than chaperone.

      Also, fine, he is a really great and honourable guy who makes puppies wag and rainbows appear. Great. Yet how do the schhol *really* know that. How can the school just take their word for it. Perhaps he is as lovely and they are as hard to fool as they say, but that won’t be the case every time an 18 year old wants to bring an older boyfriend and the school have to draw a line somewhere.

      • bl

        Yes. Prom is important to a lot of high schoolers; everyone who wants to go should be able to. And she is able to–alone or with another date. A 22-yr-old boyfriend should be mature enough to be OK with her going with a friend. A good relationship will survive without prom memories.

        Seriously who are all these adults writing letters for these “kids”? I wouldn’t even do that for my own daughter. This is a good “every choice has consequences” lesson (i.e., sometimes dating an older guy has drawbacks) and “you nearly always have a choice, whether or not you like your options” (go alone, with a friend, don’t go).

      • K.

        Bingo.

        The whole idea of enlisting Facebook (of all places) to peer pressure your school into allowing a 22-year-old to come is classic HS immaturity–like when HS kids circulate petitions to “save” a faculty member from being fired. I appreciate the effort and I actually truly love their idealism and passion, but because of that, I am shocked by the mother.

        MY mother, had I done something like this, would have sat me down and illustrated the “big picture,” which includes:

        a) having someone over 21 IS a liability for the school because of the drinking age. It doesn’t matter whether her boyfriend in particular is a “good person”–if they allow him to come, then they have to open the prom up to everyone else who wants to bring someone over 20 (and many students would take advantage of that to bring someone solely for the purpose of procuring alcohol).

        b) it’s not just HER prom; it’s everyone’s. And whether she likes it or not, some of those kids are still minors and they may not be comfortable with another adult, and their parents may not be comfortable with the presence of other adults

        c) Finally, prom is a school-sponsored social event, and it’s optional. As with a lot of things in life, you can either go and play by the rules, or opt out, the same as when you’re invited to a wedding without your kids–you can either go and leave the kids at home, or decline. What you don’t get to do is stamp your foot and whine that someone has bestowed a grave injustice upon you for not accommodating your personal preferences. Grow up.

      • CMJ

        Well said.

      • Larkin

        d) Just because he can’t come to the dance portion doesn’t mean you can’t do everything else. He could dress up, get photos taken on her lawn, and take her out to dinner. She could go to prom with a group of girlfriends and then her boyfriend could pick her up afterwards and go do something else. As I recall, the actual dance portion of prom was pretty boring. Haha.

      • whiteroses

        Exactly, and that would make sense. But then she wouldn’t be able to plaster her FEELS all over Facebook.

      • Smishsmash

        Right? My first thought after reading that she is making the administrators of her school jump through hoops and getting the press involved was “what a spoiled brat.”

        The second was “why is her mom stating to the press that this bf is part of the family? That is a LOT of pressure to put on a teen relationship.” But that’s a whole nother rant.

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      This is crazy, I went to my Debs (Irish version of Prom) when I was 17, with my 23 year old boyfriend, no problems!

      This is crazy.

      • blh

        No, 23 year olds dating teenagers is crazy. I’ve known plenary of guys who d that and its because they’re all losers and xant get a girl their own age.

      • gothicgaelicgirl

        You can’t judge everyone’s situation by that comment.
        I did date guys my own age and got fucked over badly by every one of them.
        The older guys I dated were perfect gentlemen.

        In fact, I was 19 when I got with my current partner, he was 31.
        We’re still together 4 years on, still going strong.

        So yes, I am aware there are some situations where girls may be taken advantage of, but I personally, have never had a problem with older guys, just guys my own age.

        Everyone has different views on this and that’s fine, but you cannot condemn every relationship that is unusual.

    • lpag

      I’m generally not a fan of “zero tolerance” and “rules are rules” and believe in doing things on a case-by-case basis wherever possible. However, this is just not one of those situations. The school has a clear policy for a clear reason. It’s a legitimate concern and they can’t just start making exceptions. Yes, he probably is the upstanding guy everyone says he is, but the other 22-year-old guy who isn’t so upstanding isn’t exactly wearing a sign saying so. The resources the school would have to put in to evaluate each request as it comes are not worth this insignificant payoff. This is so different from, say, suspending a kid for simulating a weapon. The consequences can be potentially serious for the kid and the school owes him due process rather than some automatic zero tolerance consequence. But this girl is NOT owed prom with her current boyfriend. She can go with friends or not go at all. My school didn’t have a prom, and I don’t feel any void in my life from it.

    • brebay

      I’m with the school on this. Crazy stuff happens at prom. People fight, people get drunk, people leave with a different person than they came with…it’s all well and good until some “old-looking” 16-year-old gets it on with a grown man…just no…

      • itpainsme2say

        Weird all three of those things happened at my prom to the same three people.

    • Kay_Sue

      I can honestly see where the school is coming from. Yeah, Ethan seems like a stand up guy–but will the next one be? I know plenty of 22 year olds that I wouldn’t want around teens. If you make an exception, you have to be willing to extend that to anyone. I know, the school could interview every single exception–but do any of us really believe that school administrators have time for that? Chaperones could sweep his car and administer a breathalyzer–and while they are doing that, other teens are left unattended who might actually be causing trouble.

      I really do feel for her. Prom is a milestone and while I was single and went stag to my senior prom, I would have hated to not be allowed to have my someone special there. But I can’t get behind causing the school the extra hassle and setting a precedent that will follow them from prom to prom every year.

      • whiteroses

        Exactly. It’s not about this particular guy, it’s about the precedent, in my mind.
        I wouldn’t necessarily be comfortable with my 15 year old daughter partying with a 22 year old, no matter how upstanding he is.

      • Kay_Sue

        There really is a world of difference in that age range. I can’t help but think that at 15, I was a virgin…at 22, I was expecting my second child. There’s a huge amount of growing and maturing in between there.

      • whiteroses

        Exactly. I mean, at 15 I didn’t drive, I didn’t know where or if I was going to college. At 22, I had graduated from college and traveled to three different continents. I was a completely different person.

    • CT Guest

      I live in CT and this has been all over the news. It is RIDICULOUS. Guess lesson learned for the student is to keep your mouth shut – better to ask for forgiveness than permission. The whole thing is so NUTS to me. Back in the early 90′s when I went to my prom, my boyfriend was a sophomore in college and 20 years old. No one even gave it a 2nd thought… and wouldn’t have even if he were 21. This is a classic case of making a problem where there really isn’t one!

      • bl

        Wait, what? Lesson learned is ask forgiveness rather than permission? Most schools have some sort of check in and non-student date review policy. He probably wouldn’t have made it in even if she showed up with him. And how about lessons learned are “pick your battles”; “live with disappointment”; “concede with grace” because at the end of the day this is prom, not a civil rights issue?

      • CT Guest

        See above – it appears that the school has NO written policy on this. BIG difference.

      • bl

        Well…even without this I disagree, but according to the linked article:
        “The school district has clung to a rule at the bottom of an approval sheet for outside guests that says no one older than 20 can attend.

        Board chairman Ken Traub said the school district has only
        granted one waiver, when Susan O’Brien was superintendent, allowing a 20-year-old to attend. He said subsequent challenges of the rule have been shot down.”

        So not only do they seem to have a written policy, they’ve never extended it before (these special circumstances allowing for a 20-yr-old when it says “no one over 20″ don’t really count to me).

      • K.

        They don’t need to have a written policy.

        The school is not beholden to students for something like this. They have the mandated responsibility as to the safety of students and thus, they are granted the flexibility to impose regulations and rules in service to that mandate–hence why Live Oak School was legally allowed to require students wearing American flag t-shirts to turn them inside out on the day students wore them.

        I mean, there’s no written rule at our school that say you can’t bring a herd of cows and release them onto campus; doesn’t mean you avoid suspension if you do.

      • Psych Student

        Well, see, now I feel an overwhelming need to acquire a herd of cows. Because, you know, no written rules means I can just ask for forgiveness later. Now, where to find cows . . . . ?

      • bl

        And (I can’t believe I’m getting into this but…) “no written policy” is a child’s argument when it’s over a school function rather than civil liberties. I’m sure the school does not have a written policy against communicating test answers via interpretive dance…but they’d probably fail a student anyway. You can see where I’m going with this.

        And IF the argument is over a written policy, why in the world is this girl’s mom crying about injustice at school board meetings because the BF is such a great guy? If there were a written policy, that would be a non-issue right? So is the issue clearer policies or actually individual non-student date screenings? If this girl and her supporters can’t find a coherent argument, they probably need to take a breath and realize this is a little overkill for prom.

      • Mystik Spiral

        For all mom knows, he’s a total Eddie Haskell.

      • bl

        I thoroughly love the Eddie Haskell reference! Leave it to Beaver (via TV Land) was one of my favorites growing up.

      • CMJ

        It’s a school policy. Sorry. With the school on this one.

      • CT Guest

        But, see, it’s NOT a school policy. Local news outlets are reporting that Torrington does not have a policy regarding this. Rather, the young woman approached the powers that be too see if it was OK and was then told it was NOT ok. Hence, why I said she should have asked forgiveness, not permission.
        Had there been a written policy in place and she asked that it be changed — different story. As I understand it, that is not what is happening here…

      • CMJ

        You know – I’m still with the school on this one….she asked, and they said no.

        She’s really not doing herself any favors by making this into something she’s going to advocate over….

      • Mystik Spiral

        I think if I were her boyfriend I’d be a little embarrassed that this is turning into such a huge deal.

      • CMJ

        Exactly….I also just have a huge problem – in general – with people who start these inane and insipid “movements” on social media.

        It is not your “right” to go to fucking prom with you 22-year-old boyfriend.

      • K.

        It’s not that hard really. The school outlined a specific set of rules for an optional social event they are sponsoring. This student is demanding the rules be amended to accommodate her personal preferences.

        The ridiculous part is not the policy, but rather the expectation that they SHOULD amend the policy (for something like prom, nonetheless, which is not a right) solely to appease a single student.

      • CMJ

        Seriously. THIS is why there is a generation of special snowflakes running around…people don’t think some kid petitioning the school on social media to bend the rules for her sake is ridiculous.

    • Life-Sized Mommy

      I took my totally sweet 24-year-old guy friend to my senior prom. (He took an afternoon off work to pick up his tux, get me a corsage, and detail his car.) He actually ended up being a year older than some of the teachers who were there as chaperones.

      And it was fine. Kids of any age can sneak in booze someone else bought ahead of time for them. Kids of any age can cause problems. Instead of punishing the older boyfriend in advance, why not just keep an eye out for the typical expected bad behavior and punish that?

      Just my two cents.

      • K.

        It’s so HS to describe this as “punishment.” No one is getting punished. No one’s being denied rights.

        The school has a policy that bars anyone over 20 from attending prom. If the boyfriend is over 20, then…Too. The. Fuck. Bad.

        I’m a responsible drinker, but I still can’t get a beer past the 7th inning. I think my dark trouser jeans read formal enough for my office when worn with a blazer, but my place of work doesn’t allow jeans so I can’t wear them. I’m not a terrorist, but I still have to remove my shoes before boarding a plane.

        I mean, there are a lot of policies that I can’t do in life that aren’t in harmony with my personal lifestyle preferences but you know, such is life…as an adult.

      • Kay_Sue

        Not to mention, is it really punishment when he has already had the chance to do all of these things? He’s already been through high school, he’s already had prom (I assume).

      • K.

        Plus, the fact that neither the student NOR the mother, apparently, recognize that there’s a difference between a punishment and a restriction.

        That’s pretty speshyl.

      • Kay_Sue

        A special type of speshyl…

      • brebay

        At what age do you cut it off? Does the California girl dating her 45-year-old married teacher get to bring him?

    • Mystik Spiral

      I’d question his maturity if he’s wanting to attend a high school prom at 22 years old.

      Questioning and fighting rules can sometimes be a good quality for a young person to have, but in this instance, the rules should stick, and they should stick for everyone. Schools need to uphold these kinds of things for good reason. Sorry, princess, you’re not so special you get to break the rules.

      • Lindsey

        Really? A committed boyfriend wants to celebrate a life event with his girlfriend and that’s a red flag?

      • Mystik Spiral

        Yup. But then, I left high school both physically and mentally when I was 17, so maybe it’s just me.

      • gothicgaelicgirl

        My thoughts exactly, I saw it as my boyfriend being considerate even though he admitted he was a little out of his comfort zone, he made the effort because it meant a lot to ME!

      • Larkin

        Yeah, I seriously doubt he’s like “Man, I sure want to go to the prom!” I’d be shocked if this whole thing wasn’t just because his girlfriend really wants to go with him and asked him to help her convince people to let him come.

      • http://nessyhart.wordpress.com/ pixie

        I think what the sticking point for me is that she’s turning it into a huge thing. For all I know, he could be telling her it’s ok, she tried but the school said no and that she should just go with friends and meet up at an after party. I don’t see an issue with him being supportive of her and accompanying her to prom, even though most guys that age would be out of their comfort zone. I would see it being an issue if he’s also screaming injustice and that he should be allowed, but from this story (and I don’t really care enough to look it up further), he seems pretty neutral to the topic and just wants to make his girlfriend happy by taking her to prom and saying he’s not going to supply minors with alcohol.

      • gothicgaelicgirl

        I am inclined to agree with you, I do know that we did ask my headmaster’s permission first but we also had a back up plan that if for some reason he WASN’T permitted to go, I’d go with one of my girlfriends and her fella, who we’re all very close with.

        And I think therein lies the problem, it seems to be HER making a huge deal out of it.

      • brebay

        She should go for an hour or two with her girlfriends and then go on a nice date with her guy. It’s a rule, she’s still a kid, she has to follow school rules. Prom is only a big deal until it’s over.

      • Em

        Shouldn’t they need to show her where the rules have actually been established, and published?

      • Mystik Spiral

        No, they shouldn’t. She asked and was told no, and given perfectly good reasons why. School is not a democracy.

    • Zettai

      Sorry, but I see red flags from anyone who is over 20 wanting to go to a senior prom, period. Can’t help it.

    • val97

      My first thought was, does he even want to go to a high school prom? I went with a friend to prom my senior year because my boyfriend was in college and basically said hell no. Also, the school has to be consistent with this rule. It’s not like they can keep vetting every kid who wants to attend their prom.

    • staferny

      Her boyfriend may be a nice guy but if they make an exception for him then they’ll have to make exceptions for others, and if they can bend ‘this’ policy what about ‘that’ policy. It sucks but the policies are in place.
      Anyone was allowed to attend prom when I graduated but we also had the police at the entrance giving breathalyzer tests to everyone on their way in (huge booze fueled incident at a dance 4 years prior). Anyone who went out and smoked had to blow again when they came back in the doors, even though there was a teacher outside watching everyone out there.

    • Butt Trophy Recipient

      This totally happened to me. As you all know, I flunked High School 5 years in a row. So by the time I was eligible for the Prom, I was 23 years old. And let me tell you, when I tried to take a freshmen girl to the prom, they called Child Services on me. WTF?

    • Alicia Kiner

      Hate to be the one to break it to her… I went to 3 proms my junior and senior year, I really don’t remember them. And no, I wasn’t drinking. I remember I had fun. But they weren’t the be all end all most memorable nights of our lives. She has two options… either don’t go at all, or go without him.

      I do see her point though, if there’s no written rule in their policies, I don’t really see how they can enforce it, but really. It’s not the end of the world here

      • Mystik Spiral

        I didn’t go to prom, opting for dinner and a movie with friends instead. I remember where we went for dinner AND what movie we saw… Personally, I just never saw the big deal about prom. And I always hated dressing up formally.

      • Justme

        Yeah, she lost me at that point, too. If prom is the most memorable night of your life (in a good way), then I pity you.

      • Psych Student

        Just like the idea that high school is “the best years of your life” or “the most important time of your life”. Yuck. High school was a great learning experience and I made some awesome friends, but college was better, grad school was better than college, and when I finally quit going to school (hahaha, I’m so funny (btw, I will have done 12 years of schooling after college when I’m done, why do I hate money?)), life is going to get even better because there will be babies! And other things that *don’t* put pressure on children to make my life worth something. . . sure . . . that’s it . . yeah (uterus, shut up!!!).

      • Justme

        I teach middle school and continually have to remind my students that their “best” years are yet to come…that high school will be better than middle school, college better than high school and so on.

    • itpainsme2say

      We had a four year cushion as the guy or girl could come if they were within four years of age of you and minors had to have permission from parents. Our big drama was when this girl I knew wanted to bring a guy who vandalized the school his senior year and that violated the crime conviction rule. But the dick wad(he used to beat her) got in because she argued that because of a near fatal car accident he ‘didn’t have any memories of his prom’, i personally believe the only thing the accident did was turn his monkey face into something far more attractive to bad it did no such thing to his personality.

    • SA

      With the school on this one. Much better to set an age limit than have to character interview any ‘adult’ that wanted to come to the prom. The school system could get into a lot of trouble determining what 22 year old was an upstanding citizen and what one wasn’t. That seems dumb.

      It won’t break your heart to go to your prom with a different date or just friends. Awkwardly enough my sophomore year I was invited to and accepted an invitation to the prom from a friend and ended up getting back together with an ex-boyfriend who was also a senior and already had a date to the prom. We each went with our respective dates and had a good time.

      The petitioning Facebook, news outlets, what have you for every rule you want broken is so. annoying.

    • Rachel Sea

      I was dating a 23 year old when I was a senior, and I never for a minute considered even inviting him. I’m sure this guy is an upstanding young man if he has so many people willing to vouch for him, but it’s unrealistic for a school to allow dates on a case-by-case basis. High school parties are for high school kids, and while it is a bummer that this girl won’t be able to have her boyfriend with her at prom, it’s only one night, and she still has him the rest of the time.

    • Ursi

      I’m with the school on this one.

      I don’t find anything weird about a high school girl dating an older guy. It doesn’t bug me in the slightest. It does bother me that she thinks he should be able to come to prom. If she can’t see why that would make things uncomfortable for some of the other students and parents then I do question her maturity. She may well be old enough mentally to date a 22 year old while in high school. But her fellow classmates’ comfort is important too and she’s not thinking of anyone but herself. Why not go to prom stag and have fun or take another girl or guy friend. If her boyfriend is a great guy he’ll understand.

      • Kay_Sue

        Well said.

        We had senior/junior prom. My junior year, I had a date. My senior year I was on a man-hating kick and I went stag with some girlfriends.

        Guess which year was way more fun? ;)

    • Em

      Because 15-20 year olds never smuggle alcohol or drugs into proms, LOL. Why can’t this boy be subject to the same screening they deem adequate for the rest? Even the nuns didn’t go this far back in all girls Cathoic school!

      • brebay

        I’m less concerned about him bringing alcohol, I don’t really even think that’s an issue, and more concerned about him being at a prom with 16-year-olds. Parents expect school functions to be school-aged kids.

      • KarenMS

        I went to senior prom as a freshman, so I was 15. Now as a parent, if I found out there were going to be 22 year old men at a dance with my 15 year old child, I wouldn’t let her go. There’s nothing “going too far” about this.

    • Sara610

      I am completely, 100% with the school on this one. Okay, so the boyfriend is a sweet, mature, considerate young man. Great. Maybe they’ll get married and have kids and he’ll be the best husband ever. He could be an upcoming Nobel laureate who saves kittens from burning buildings on the weekends, for all we know.

      But none of that changes the fact that a 22-year-old does not belong at a high-school prom. When I was 22, I had graduated from college and started my first full-time job teaching high school. I CHAPERONED the senior prom–I didn’t want to go to it as a student’s date.

    • waffre

      I also invited a 22-year-old boyfriend to prom. I don’t remember what the school’s age cutoff was (they did have one, and it was probably 20), but it didn’t apply to him because he was a former student. That probably had something to do with why he wanted to go in the first place, too. I don’t know if there was a different age cutoff for former students but if there was it was obviously higher than 22.

    • That_Darn_Kat

      When I was a senior, I had a boyfriend who was 20. He didn’t turn 21 until after prom, so it wasn’t an issue, but he and I were both aware there was a very real possibility he wouldn’t get to go to prom with me (school rules prohibited anyone 21 and older). Looking back, I wish I had gone with someone else, because he refused to dance, got pissed if I danced with anyone else (male or female), wanted to leave after 30 minutes, and, even though it was MY prom, made it a huge fight to keep his hair in a pony tail instead of leaving it down (I wanted it back for pictures, he wanted it down).

    • Al

      Typical anti everything Connecticut.

      A good thing this Ohio Teen didn’t live in Torrington, CT, where the BOE would probably want to beat down his grandmother. .

      It was a senior prom like no other.

      Along with many others nationwide, Ohio resident Delores Dennison had the prom experience of her life this week, including the perfect dress, the perfect dance and the perfect date — her great-grandson, Austin.

      Austin Dennison, a 19-year-old senior at Parkway High School in Rockford, Ohio, asked his 89-year-old “Granny DD” to be his date after learning she’d never gone to prom when she was a teen, the Times Bulletin reports.

    • Al

      Basically degrading a guy, attacking his character and credibility by accusing him of a crime that never happened. I’d think they would have supervision at the prom anyway so what’s the big deal?

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