Couple Who Asked Internet To Name Their Baby Chickens Out And Chooses Boring Name Instead

Cthulhu baby name This is so lame! One does not have some big, highly publicized contest to choose a baby name and then decide at the last minute they don’t like the name that came up as the winner. The Canadian couple who Maria Guido wrote about a few months ago had started a website called and were letting the Internet choose their new baby’s name. The website did state that:

‘Unfortunately internet I know better than to trust you,’ Stephen wrote. ‘We will ultimately be making the final decision, Alas my daughter shall not be named WackyTaco692. Sorry guys the wife wouldn’t go for a free for all.’

When it should have basically just said, sorry Internet, I know better than to trust you and no matter what you pick we will go with a boring name anyway – because that is exactly what parents Alysha and Stephen McLaughlin did.

The epic name the internet chose for their new baby girl?

Cthulhu All-Spark. 

The BORING name the couple went with instead?

Amelia Savannah Joy.

Amelia is a perfectly fine and cute baby name and all, but how do you go from Cthulhu to Amelia? This would be like if I invited you all over for ice cream sundaes with extra sprinkles but then presented you with a handful of Tic-Tacs instead. And her middle name? The top choices were  Of-The-Sea, Le-Dash-A, Salad and Pond. Which are nowhere near close to Savannah Joy. YAWN.

They should have gone with Cthulhu instead. Not only because that was the clear winner, but because they could have shortened it to Lulu and everything would have worked out just fine. This couple totally chickened out. They shouldn’t even be allowed to have a cat naming contest.

(Image: Wikipedia)


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    • Valerie

      I love Le Dash A so much. I may get myself knocked up again just so I can use it.

      • Eve Vawter

        I am all about “of the sea”.. can you call me Eve Of The Sea henceforth?

      • Valerie

        It is done. EOTS for short.

      • Lackadaisical

        All hail Eve of the Sea. As I am also an Eve can I please be your nemesis, Eve of the Mountains? I don’t live near any mountains but it seems like the natural antithesis of the sea.

      • Eve Vawter

        someone is going to write fan fiction about this

      • Lackadaisical

        So they should, and they should make our battles epic

      • G.S.

        I live in the foothills. Can I be G.S. of the Foothills, and be your sidekick, or whatever?

        Wait, wait, no, forget that. I want to be G.S. of the Northern Foothills. You don’t need to be a sidekick to anyone if you’re from the North (and it sounds a million times more badass, no matter what it’s in front of)!

      • Lackadaisical

        I too am of the north, in my case of England. However I live in a vale and Eve of the Northern Vale breaks you northern sounds awesome rule. I am not far from the moors, Eve of the Northern Moors sounds a lot less lame than the vale.

        You are right, the people of the north are not sidekicks. Instead we could be part of a northern alliance. That probably sounds cooler where you are, round here it means we wear cloth caps as we walk our whippets and talk about our racing pigeons.

      • G.S.

        Up here we avoid/watch bears, climb giant rocks, and wear plaid as we go quadding through the bush. And then go ice fishing when the lake’s frozen over enough. (And this is a royal “we,” I only moved up here when I was 15, and I bounce around a lot, and I’m way more suited to town/city life.)

        And oh, hush, Eve of the Northern Vale sounds awesome. :)

      • Lackadaisical

        Wow, in the hills near to us we aren’t as glamorous as that. We just have old men sliding down hills in bathtubs, as you do.

      • candyvines

        Eve Del Mar, even.

      • Megan Zander

        I met a Ladasha once, spelled La-a. She almost fought me when I didn’t know how to pronounce it. I loved her immediately.

      • Valerie

        Bwahahahaha. That is specatcular. I want to meet herrr!

      • ninjalulu

        How about T___ for a boy? (Its pronounced Thunderscore!)

        ETA—Megan Zander already corrected La-a for me!!

      • pixie

        I’m totally naming my kid T______, regardless of gender.

    • Nina

      This sets a sad precedent for any future internet baby naming shenanigans. You’ve got to follow through at least a little bit, people!

      I’ll never trust an internet stranger again :(

      • Eve Vawter

        Nina, when I have a contest to name my next fish or rat on the internets I will only let you enter and you can name it and I will restore your faith in humanity!

      • Lackadaisical

        My daughter wants to have a tiny kitten called “fightcat” as soon as she grows up and moves out, away from her father’s killjoy allergies (fancy not giving up breathing to allow his daughter to squee over a cute fluffy animal that she will get bored of in five minutes, the meany). She also intends a huge dog called “fluffball”. May I please submit the name “fightfish” or “fightrat” in advance on her behalf?

      • LadyClodia

        At the cat shelter we got a call from a family about their lost cat; her name was “Iron Man.” I just loved that they had a female cat named Iron Man. I really hope she found her way back to her family.

      • Lackadaisical

        Either the man let his kids name the cat or, what I prefer to believe, the cat disappeared to fight some evil villain who was attacking the world. Perhaps when Iron Man Kitty is victorious she will return to her family.

      • Eve Vawter

        Ours are named godzilla and megatron

      • Pzonks

        I remember babysitting for a family when I was young who had 3 boys and a small white fluffy female dog whose name was “Killer”.

      • Nina

        Too much pressure – I’ll put it to a vote! And then ridiculously ignore all the votes to get my way anyway. FULL CIRCLE!

      • keelhaulrose

        My daughter’s teacher is trusting the kids to name the baby chicks that are going to hatch soon.
        My daughter’s is going to be named Nugget. She’s the person on the internet who’d be suggesting Cthulhu.

      • Lackadaisical

        I like the way your daughter thinks. A friend once named her rat whiskers and also had pet cats. I was rather disappointed to find out that she hadn’t even noticed the connection to the cat food when she named the rat.

    • Ursi

      Nothing wrong with the name they picked but don’t pretend you want an interesting name and then jump on the trendwagon.

      Why not throw us a bone with Amelia All-Spark? I think the alliteration is quite nice!

      • Valerie

        Or Amelia Super Spark so her initials spell ASS.

      • Megan Zander

        Yeah, but then you’d have to use jazz hands every time you tell someone her name.

      • Valerie

        Hahahaha. SUPER STAR!

    • Lackadaisical

      A teacher at school thought it would be lovely to let her kids in the nursery class (3-4 year olds) submit suggestions so that they could choose her child’s name. I am fairly sure that she wimped out too, as I know my son wanted Strawberry and his friend suggested Wow Wow yet the baby has a name so normal that I have forgotten it.

      Little Cthulhu would have gotten a lot of fear and respect from her classmates and teachers, and when she made friends with some other little girls called Hastur and Y’ha-nthlei then their little Deep One clique would have given the Heathers or the Plastics a run for their money at Innsmouth High.

      • Spiderpigmom

        My then-3-year-old nephew was insistent his younger brother was to be named Glass-Of-Water.

      • Guest

        A coworkers 4 year called his baby brother Rocket while it was in womb….his parents were cool enough to make Rocket the baby’s second middle name….

      • Jessica

        I tried to convince everyone my name was Strawberry when I was little… I still get strawberry themed gifts 25 years later :)

      • Jessica

        I tried to convince everyone my name was Strawberry when I was little… I still get strawberry themed gifts 25 years later :)

      • Jessica

        I tried to convince everyone my name was Strawberry when I was little… I still get strawberry themed gifts 25 years later :)

      • Lindsay

        There’s a kid in my class who insists his cousin be named Garbage Can.
        Lesson: Never let kids name kids.

      • Magdalena Jolanta Doerry

        One of my brother’s called the oldest brother “Dooby Bathroom.” 30 years, a wife, 2 kids, and a Master’s degree don’t make a difference, his birthday cards all come addressed the same way.

    • bea

      She’ll always be Cthulhu All-Spark to me

    • Edwin

      Actually nothing wrong with that name , me i believe every word can be a name according to what you want

    • courtneth

      Did they think they’d get a normal name with this contest?? What a couple of dumbshits.

      • Edwin

        hahah you never know i think that was there only way to get a name

    • Hana Graham


      (except Cthulu, ia ia cthulu fhtagan)

      • Lackadaisical

        Wouldn’t they be in trouble if they called out to their daughter Cthulhu, she didn’t hear them and then they had to call her repeatedly? I can imagine it could be a cause of eldritch hijinks that could make for an amusing sit com. Canned screams instead of laughter.

    • Hibbie

      Of-the-Sea is an amazing middle name.

    • TwentiSomething Mom

      The name they chose is actually very beautiful.
      Cthulhu does kind of remind me of Caillou and Caillou is a pain in the ass, so no wonder the parents decided against it.

      • noodlestein

        OMG, I hate that bald bastard! He’s whiny and a tattletale, and his bald head freaks me out. Why does Rosy have hair and he doesn’t?? Unfortunate, and unfortunate that my niece LOVES Caillou.

    • Butt Trophy Recipient
    • Ptownsteveschick

      Maybe I should let mommyish name this next kid, just kidding, I’m going to get you all excited and then crap out on you! Just like I did to my husband last night! #sorrynotsorry

    • lyzl

      It’s settled. I’m having a third child just so Mommyish can name it for me. Otherwise I shall name it Eve Of The Sea. Which is also totally a boys name.

    • Life-Sized Mommy

      Why didn’t they keep “Pond”?


      Sorry, this is a sensitive topic for me, as my husband vetoed “Amelia Pond” as our girl’s name.

      • Jessica

        That’s exactly what I was thinking!!!

      • RevBex

        That’s the first thing I said! My (strawberry blonde) little girl’s name is Amelia and she’s a huge Dr. Who fan – she refused to answer to anything but “Pond” for a week.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      I read it as “asked internet to name their chicken and baby”

      • Alanna Jorgensen

        I read baby chickens.

      • Jallun-Keatres

        Yeah that’s what I read! That’s what I get for not fact-checking the title properly looool

    • Jessica

      My daughter is named Amelia Joy, so obviously I think that name is the best. But I also never asked the internet to name my baby & then ignored all of the suggestions…

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