Report Finds Girls View Sexual Assault As Normal Behavior And This Is Not Okay

An Alternative Look At The 55th Annual GRAMMY AwardsRape culture is certainly taking it’s toll – and the results are harrowing. A new report on the normalization of sexual violence among young girls and women shows just how often girls view sexual assault as “normal” behavior. We are failing these girls. Big time.

The study, “Normalizing Sexual Violence: Young Women Account for Harassment and Abuse,” shows that girls and young women rarely report sexual abuse because they have come to regard violence against them as normal. Can you blame them?

From a press release about the study:

During one interview, referring to boys at school, a 13 year-old girl states:

“They grab you, touch your butt and try to, like, touch you in the front, and run away, but it’s okay, I mean… I never think it’s a big thing because they do it to everyone.”

The researcher’s analysis led her to identify several reasons why young women do not report sexual violence.

  • Girls believe the myth that men can’t help it. The girls interviewed described men as unable to control their sexual desires, often framing men as the sexual aggressors and women as the gatekeepers of sexual activity. They perceived everyday harassment and abuse as normal male behavior, and as something to endure, ignore, or maneuver around.
  • Many of the girls said that they didn’t report the incident because they didn’t want to make a “big deal” of their experiences.  They doubted if anything outside of forcible heterosexual intercourse counted as an offense or rape.
  • Lack of reporting may be linked to trust in authority figures. According to Hlavka, the girls seem to have internalized their position in a male-dominated, sexual context and likely assumed authority figures would also view them as “bad girls” who prompted the assault.
  • Hlavka found that girls don’t support other girls when they report sexual violence. The young women expressed fear that they would be labeled as a “whore” or “slut,” or accused of exaggeration or lying by both authority figures and their peers, decreasing their likelihood of reporting sexual abuse.

Do you know why girls believe the myth that “men can’t help it?” Because we make everything about their choices – not the choices of their male counterparts. One example of this is dress codes that constantly single out females. Even school administrators have gone so far as to suggest that what girls wear distracts boys. How are young women supposed to process this?

If you saw even a fraction of the Steubenville coverage you certainly can’t blame a young woman for not wanting to report an assault. In that case, we had photo and video evidence that a young girl had been raped while unconscious and a disturbingly large number of people managed to make it her fault. She was drunk. She was a whore. She was a sixteen-year-old girl who does what the majority of high-school students do; hang out with friends at a party.  And she was a victim.

Rape culture is so ingrained in the pop culture girls consume, can you blame them for thinking sexual violence acceptable? We awarded a grammy to Chris Brown the following year after an assault that left his then girlfriend Rihanna bloodied and bruised. And after that assault, boy were we all pissed, but not at Chris Brown. We couldn’t believe young women were lining up on Twitter to be assaulted by him themselves, with tweets like, “Dude, Chris Brown can punch me in the face as much as wants to, just as long as he kisses it.”

Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.  Everyday in the US, more than 3 women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.  This is a plague on our country- and a hell that women can not escape.  We should be ashamed, very ashamed.  And we should be asking a lot of questions- but not to these young women.  They are not the problem.  They are the future generation, that doesn’t give a shit about themselves because we have all been condoning all of these messages that they consume. If this report is any indication, girls are believing what we are selling them:
You don’t matter.

You are not safe.

Your body is not yours.

Give up and give in.

(photo: Getty Images)

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    • CMJ

      This is devastating and needs to change.

    • chickadee

      I read the study, and what is seriously disturbing is that the interviewees are victims of grave power imbalances — they are often 12- or 13-year-old girls being preyed on by MEN. Not only do they have to contend with a sexual-cultural power issue, they also have to deal with the fact that they have no resources to call upon when an adult tries to compel sexual favors. Thus there is a complex gender/authority dynamic that any girl would have difficulty defying. They literally have no way to refuse, in some cases.

    • http://nessyhart.wordpress.com/ pixie

      This frightens me and I hope it changes very soon. I remember when I was 13, and if a boy tried to touch me anywhere I didn’t want him to, I would have probably punched him and then yelled as loud as I could for an adult (hurray for martial arts training). Not many 13 year old girls are like that, though. If I ever have a daughter, I will let her know that I will love her no matter what and to tell an adult she trusts if she feels like anyone is making her uncomfortable or touched her in a way she didn’t like. Same if I have a son.

      • Larkin

        My husband has already decided that, if the fetus turns out be a girl, he wants to enroll her in jujitsu from a young age to make sure she can protect herself. It’s kind of sad that he feels a need to plan for that before she’s even born.

      • Guets

        My friend just put her 3yr old girl in karate for the same reason. She does however generally happen to be a paranoid mess. I had to tell her that while karate is good for a lot of things I don’t think it will somehow teach her 3yr old to fend off adults or large children. She still needs to know how to scream/shout and tell an adult if something goes down.

      • the_ether

        A lot of martial arts classes for kids do teach those kind of things (in addition to teaching that the best way to win a fight is to avoid having it, ie seeking help).

      • AlexMMR

        A big part of the defense is simply walking around confidant. If you feel like you have the power to protect yourself, you project that when you’re walking around making you far less likely to be the person that someone chooses to attack. So regardless of the actual ability to fight, karate is a great means of self defense if all it does is prevent that particular child from being chosen as a victim.

      • Guets

        I should have specified- I like karate for the reasons you listed. I was merely intervening on a friend who thought her small child could fend off people by chopping at them (really). I do think her kid’s confidence and loud nature would already help her from being a target because she would make quite the ruckus, which is great.

      • http://nessyhart.wordpress.com/ pixie

        Jiu-jitsu is actually the martial art that my parents put me in at 6. It was more-so because my dad’s parents wouldn’t let him learn to fight when he was growing up than for self defense, but my parents still wanted me to learn self-defense even if it wasn’t the primary reason I was enrolled. I loved doing jiu-jitsu and still do; I help teach 6-10 year olds whenever I get the chance. It’s great for kids and adults.

      • EmmaFromÉire

        I was so timid at that age, I don’t even know what i’d have done. I was physically hurt by another kid in school when I was thirteen and never said a word of it, because I was just too scared to approach a teacher. They seemed so intimidating to be at that age.

      • http://nessyhart.wordpress.com/ pixie

        I was still pretty timid and quiet when it came down to it. If someone just yelled at me and got in my face I wouldn’t do much (it happened, some girl a year younger than me but much, much bigger for some reason decided that I stole her friend’s bike and after school one day got in my face and screamed at me that I stole her friend’s bike and all her money and everything and because it was just verbal I had no idea what to do so I just stood there and took it while my friends looked on in shock also not knowing what to do) but as soon as someone touched me that I didn’t want to, there was hell to pay.

    • http://fakegeekmom.com Aimee Ogden

      Ugh. I’m sad, but I’m not surprised. Dress codes, rape jokes, Chris Brown, Steubenville, “Blurred Lines”, cat-calling, body-policing, advertising – it’s a long equation that all adds up to us constantly telling girls that they’re just getting what they “asked for”. :(

      • Valerie

        Effing Disqus ate my mile-long reply but basically, my parents (who I’m sure meant well) were always drilling into me how I shouldn’t dress a certain way because of the attention I could attract and that it would basically be my own fault for looking “slutty”. I had big boobs from a very young age and of course, I wanted to wear the clothes most young teens wear but my body looked about 22 years old instead of 13 and my mother would constantly tell me to “cover up”. I mean, what was I supposed to do, wear a turtleneck? So I spent a lot of my teens in giant sweatshirts and flannel button-downs because I was made to feel ashamed of how I looked. Obviously I know better now but even at 32 I still find myself tugging at my tops and questioning showing the littlest bit of cleavage at work. Wouldn’t want to blow the minds of the men-folk and cause them to rape me, right? I hate that I think this way but it is hard to push out of your mind after so many years of hearing that message. And I know my parents were only trying to protect me but they went about it the wrong way. I plan to address clothing choices much differently with my kids.

      • Guets

        My parents didn’t really tell me to cover up but made lots of comments about my body regardless. I remember once wearing an actual turtleneck to 6th grade (that I had grabbed from my mom’s closet) thinking it would cover me up and then realized after the shop teacher was staring at my chest that the top really accentuated my boobs. I was always jealous of girls who came from families where they could wear their bikini or whatever around the house and just didn’t care. I still have the same problem being uncomfortable showing too much and find myself layering even in summer, getting warm, and then arguing with my husband about not layering less. I will never EVER make my kids feel the way my parents (and others) made me feel about my body and clothing choices.

      • Valerie

        Totally. I want to handle things very differently, particularly with my daughter. I was ashamed when I should have been proud and confident. Very sad.

      • LiteBrite

        Mine too. I developed at an early age. By age 10 I had a pretty noticeable chest; by age 12-13, I could’ve probably passed for 18+ if you went by body alone. And, as I’m sure you know yourself, with that kind of body comes a lot of attention, much of it negative, so not only did I have my mom telling me to “cover up” but the attention I got pretty much dictated that I do.

        I’m now 44, and I STILL worry about showing cleavage and whether a dress makes my boobs look “big” (which is stupid because they ARE big and it’s kind of hard to make them less noticeable). I know I should be beyond that – I’ve got a big rack, who cares – but I can’t shake the inner “mom” in me waggling her finger and telling me to cover up.

        Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Pun intended.

      • http://fakegeekmom.com Aimee Ogden

        YES! It’s so important to me that both my son and daughter don’t get the same gross messages about girls’ “modesty” and “tempting boys” that I grew up with. YOUR BRA STRAP IS SHOWING OMG HARLOT!!!

      • emilya

        my mother’s phrase was “people will look at you and think you don’t have a mother.” all i wanted was to wear one of those slip skirts that were popular in the mid-90s and she even bought me one, and then decided i couldn’t wear it in public because if someone saw me in it, they would think i didn’t have a mother to guide me to make better clothing choices.

      • EmmaFromÉire

        I had the literal opposite problem, my boobs were almost non-existent til they came in overnight when I was sixteen. Up until then my mother would stop me wearing certain things because I was too flat chested for them (and bless her too, it must have really emphasised my round belly)

    • Music Mamma

      When I was 13, one boy held me down while another one kissed me. We were on a school trip and it happened in front of a lot of people. Acting on instinct and knowing it was wrong, I reported it to my teacher. They boys were suspended and I was ostracized. Lots of girls told me it was “no big deal” and I was “stupid for telling”. While what happened to me is not even close to what happens to other girls, it is still a sore spot 20 years later, and what they did is still wrong.

      • SA

        When I was in 8th grade a boy kept grabbing me and another girl’s butts. She came forward with it – I came forward to support her. He was ‘talked to’ and we were accused from other students of lying.

      • Momma425

        THIS. There were multiple boys in school who would put their hands under skirts and graze girl’s butts. When we told on them, we were instructed to wear pants to school instead of skirts, and to make sure our skirts were appropriate lengths. Even at home- my parents were supportive of the teacher’s “well, wear less revelaing skirts” plan, and watched my clothing more closely. Other girls at school accused those of us who told of lying.
        So as an adult- I have been sexually harassed multiple times, and although it is bothersome, it is not usually something I make a big deal about any further than a dirty look.
        But I want to teach my daughter differently. If a boy at school touches her in a way that she doesn’t like, I want her to know I will support her, believe her, and side with her. My parents should have demanded that the boys who were sexually harassing girls up their skirts be further repremanded, and prehaps threatened police charges.

      • Guets

        I just can’t imagine how as a parent you could tell your own daughter that perhaps she should choose different clothing after someone GROPED her. Wtf. If Mom’s boss at work groped her butt would dad have told her to quit wearing skirts/pants too? I just don’t get it.

      • bl

        Good for you for reporting it and sorry that happened to you. And it doesn’t matter that some people’s experiences seem “worse,” it makes sense to me that it would still upset you. There’s something universal in the experience of someone disregarding your autonomy, voice, and lack of consent by just taking what they want, whether it’s a touch, a kiss, penetration, etc. It all comes from the same place and it’s all wrong.

      • whiteroses

        You too? I had two boys talk about how they wanted to “do me doggie style”. I was a very innocent 15 year old. I didn’t know what it meant, but I did know I wanted them to stop talking to me like that. The principal interviewed every single student in the class, and one of the girls said that she would “consider it a compliment”. Even at 15 I knew it was wrong. I was ostracized by my fellow students for the rest of my time in high school, despite the fact that the boys admitted to it. It was made clear to me, via the way my fellow students treated me, that I wasn’t welcome at prom, that I wasn’t welcome at sporting events, and that I wasn’t welcome at any parties anyone threw. So I didn’t go to any of them. I have never been back to a reunion, I never will, and I wouldn’t redo high school if you paid me.

        It makes a difference. It matters. I remain firmly convinced that my experience in high school is what led me not to report my rape 6 years later.

      • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

        A boy in my grade 10 class told me he wanted to rape me and started pounding the back of my chair saying, “thump, thump, thump.” He did it in front of the whole class and the teacher was in the room. The teacher did and said nothing, and everyone else followed suit.

      • whiteroses

        Jesus. I can’t imagine how betrayed you felt.

        I know that this means nothing- but just know that if I’d been there, I would have said something.

    • JamesRMcGrath

      I would have probably punched him and then yelled as loud as I could for an adult (hurray for martial arts training). Not many 13 year old girls are like that, though. If I ever have a daughter, I will let her know that I will love her no matter what and to tell an adult she trusts if she feels like anyone is making her uncomfortable or touched her in a way she didn’t like. http://s6x.it/l521

    • itpainsme2say

      I used to know this guy in school who would reach between the girls next to him’s legs at lunch and every time who ever it was would just giggle and not say anything. He also liked to take pennies and try to shoot it into the gap between the girls boobs. It always used to bug me that no one ever said anything.

    • Kay_Sue

      I am forwarding this to my husband. The idea that our girls could actually ever think that this was okay is terrifying. I never thought this would be a conversation we would have, but it is.

      And I type that, but it shouldn’t surprise me. I don’t know about you guys, but I can remember being groped or a boyfriend getting handsy and thinking that was just how boys were, or even blaming myself for inciting it somehow. I just…never want them to feel that way about themselves.

    • SA

      Girls probably think it is normal because it kinda is. I would be hard pressed to find anyone my age that had not experienced some type of sexual harassment (verbally or physically) and it seems to have gotten worse. Normal doesn’t make it right – that message needs to get out to girls and encourage them to speak out against it. Same to young boys.

    • RayneofCastamere

      This is why I hate the “If a guy harasses you he really likes you so stop complaining and put up with it” trope. This is where it starts. No one should have to put up with harassment, ever.

      • AlbinoWino

        YES! I have a female friend who mocks me if I talk about hating how guys often cat call after me. It makes me angry because she seems to think this is normal and makes me sad that she thinks it should always be interpreted as a compliment. I mean, it’s not like I’m ever going to turn around and ask one of these ass holes for their number. I just try to get away as quickly as possible.

      • Guets

        I feel like anyone who takes a catcall as a compliment has some serious self esteem issues that need to be addressed. I think many women, especially young girls or women walking alone, find them to be very scary since they tend to be followed by more agressive talk depending on the person’s reaction.

    • shadow guest

      This is absolutely horrifying.
      I stopped listening to Chris Brown AND Rhianna when he went all bat-shit crazy on her, annnnnd then she went back for more. That makes both of them terrible role models. “Chris Brown is so cool I should do what he does” and “Rhianna went back after he beat her so why shouldn’t I?” said the impressionable youngsters.

      • shadow guest

        A co-worker of mine is in an abusive relationship with her baby’s father, and flat out refuses to leave (acknowledges that she should, but won’t since she says she can “fix the family”), anywho, she also has a 10 year old daughter and when we (it’s a very small office) asked her if she is afraid of her daughter thinking that kind of relationship is okay for when she grows up, she says she tells her daughter, “the way XXXXX treats mommy is not okay, that’s not what a real man does”, buuuuuuut stays or goes back each time. How on earth is her sweet little one supposed to do as mommy says, not as mommy does?!

      • whiteroses

        Kids do what they see you do, not what you say. I hope that her daughter (and that baby) makes better choices.

      • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

        Since she admits it, can you give her the number for an abuse hotline? I have a friend who was a domestic violence counselor; women go back like an average of 8 times before it’s bad enough to leave. Argh!

      • whiteroses

        Yes. He’s far more likely to kill her/her kids before she can “fix it”. I’ve been there. I thought I could fix him. I thought if I tried hard enough, everything would be ok. What I didn’t know was that NOTHING could fix him, because he didn’t think he was broken. If I hadn’t left him, he’d have killed me. I know that the same way I know my son is blonde.

      • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

        Sorry you went through that but super glad you got out. That’s good to hear :)

      • whiteroses

        :) Thank you.

        I shout it from the rooftops to every single woman I know: If he hits you one single time, LEAVE. It will never get better. If you don’t leave, it only ends in one way- death, and not for him. I don’t care if he begs you to stay. I got enough red roses as “I’m sorry”s to fill up my own flower shop. It’s not worth it. He gave me beautiful jewelry and gorgeous clothes. It wasn’t worth it.

        You will eventually find someone who loves you and doesn’t need to hurt you to feel like a man. But that guy? Not this guy. LEAVE.

      • Shadow guest

        You’re a strong strong woman!! Thx for being brave

      • Shadow Guest

        We’ve tried and she knows we’re here if she decides to make a change- 8 times?! Never would have thought

      • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

        My friend actually had to quit the job because she could not handle not being able to save everyone when they kept going back. It was too hard for her. Seriously, I believe the average is 8. Insane.

        Perhaps you can get to her through the effects it has on her child, even though she thinks it doesn’t.

        I don’t envy you. I know how hard it is to try to help someone who’s not ready.

      • whiteroses

        They won’t (or can’t) listen. This sounds terrible, but when you’re trying to cover up abuse of any kind, you become an excellent liar. You learn how to hide bruises, you give convincing excuses, and you are able to function in a world where you’re almost positive nobody wants you. That’s not true, of course, but you believe it is.

        You become an excellent liar and you lie to yourself as well.

      • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

        So sad. Am exceptionally grateful for the good men. Makes my husband’s occasional cranky days seem not so bad after all.

      • http://nessyhart.wordpress.com/ pixie

        My 11 year old cousin likes to listen to music by Chris Brown and Rihanna. I had a conversation with her last year when she was still 10 that it’s ok to like their music, but to not follow their example; that it’s not ok for anyone to abuse someone else and it if someone does abuse you, you should not get back together with them. I used different wording so that she would understand what I meant, but I’m pretty sure I got the message through to her that she shouldn’t let anyone treat her poorly and to tell someone if someone does try and hurt her. Or she at least agreed that she thought it was silly that Rihanna went back to Chris Brown, so I think she’s smart enough to understand what I was telling her.

    • brebay

      So, let’s see those 2 christian dudes do a song about how guys should stop this shit, without relating it back to girls needing to wear chastity belts…

      • EmmaFromÉire

        ”Christian Side Hug”

      • brebay

        Side hug is a gateway touch…

    • http://www.garrulousandbookish.com/ Rebecca

      This makes me really sad. While I feel like this is unbelievably awful, I know this is, sadly, how things are. These girls are getting these ideas from somewhere, they live in a society where this kind of behavior is accepted although we (as adults) say that it’s unacceptable.
      I remember being in elementary school (about 8 or 9 years old) and the other girls saying “if one of the boys asks you to pick something up [from the floor], don’t bend over, kneel down or they will try to hit your butt”. Now I wonder why we didn’t say “no” and why our teachers never did anything. There was, what the boys called, a “butt slapping game” (I once physically attacked a boy for hitting but butt so they didn’t try it with me) and I remember a boy hitting a girl who shouted at him and his response was “I’m your boyfriend I can do that” and she said “ok”.
      If a boy touched me and I didn’t want him to, I would have said it was wrong but I wouldn’t have seen it as sexual harassment/assault.

    • SarahJesness

      Not to mention that girls never get helpful advice. People always suggest self-defense courses, but if you break a guy’s wrist after he grabs your ass, you get charged for using “unreasonable force”.

      • brebay

        no, you wouldn’t. It’s legal to use force likely to cause serious bodily harm to defend against a sexual assault. The school could do whatever, but you’d sue and you’d win.

      • SarahJesness

        But if it’s “harmless” assault like ass-grabbing, where the perp isn’t causing any physical harm to you, I don’t think you can get away with hurting him.

      • brebay

        Wrong. That’s a sexual battery, and the legal test is, if he’s grabbing your ass, what could you reasonably foresee could happen next. You do not have to wait until his penis is inside you to start fighting. You don’t have to like it, but that’s the law. And grabbing someone’s ass is not harmless. Rape technically doesn’t need to “physically harm” you either, so that’s a weak argument.

      • SarahJesness

        This is good to know.

      • Kelly

        Not unless you live in some horrible backwoods place. I’ve never heard of a woman being charged for defending herself against sexual assault.

      • SarahJesness

        If it’s “harmless” assault like ass-grabbing, I don’t think most places would let you physically hurt the perp.

    • Guest

      This is going to be the only comment of its type on here, I suppose, because it’s so wrong… but being the unattractive person in the class, this never happened to me (I know, I know, it’s about power and control but at that age maybe it’s just a little about targeting the ‘attractive’ girls). My younger self probably would have liked it–it was attention, which I got at home, but attention from a peer who didn’t have to like me because we weren’t related. Maybe not, but it would definitely have beat the regular bullying I got instead. I feel like I missed out on something, going through school and not being worthy of that attention. I’ll show myself out…

      • bl

        Feelings, even problematic ones, are OK to me. What wouldn’t be OK is telling a victim, “it’s a compliment. You’re lucky and pretty!” Which I’m sure you wouldn’t do, just giving an example. I think feeling like this is an issue for a lot of girls, pretty or otherwise, because most early sexual attention is going to come from the bold assholes and inappropriate older guys not the nice, respectful guys. And girls (boys too, but we’re discussing girls) are interested in sex and in feeling wanted at that age, so they see this problematic behavior and might think “Well at least someone likes me. It’s better than being ignored.” I think this contributes to victim blaming as well (“What happened to her can’t be rape, because that would mean what happened to me was rape. ..”) guilt (“Well…I did kind of like him, maybe he thought I wanted sex…”) and lots of other issues. And I’m not blaming young girls with self esteem issues; nearly everyone has those issues. I blame guys, especially older ones, who prey on that and adults who explain it away as “boys will be boys” thus confirming to girls that this is the only kind of attention they can expect from guys.

      • brebay

        I see where you’re coming from though. The only thing more humiliating than having the guys at church camp put your bra in the freezer is being THE ONLY ONE whose stuff they didn’t bother to go through to find it. That being said, yes, I think I would have felt better at the time if I’d gotten SOME of that kind of attention, but it probably would have affected me negatively in the long run in ways I wasn’t aware of at the time.

    • kittymom

      My first penetrative sexual act was not consentual, but I was afraid to say anything because I was sure I would be blamed. FFWD to now: add a second assault, abusive relationship and continued issues with sexuality. This report strikes a nerve, as does every story where a young female is blamed for her assault. This whole rape culture, including victim shaming, disgusts me. I only hope that the strong, brilliant mothers of today are able to teach their daughters not to feel shame regarding their bodies and sexuality, and their boys that NO means NO. Being intoxicated means NO. Not saying yes, means NO, and there is NO excuse for unwanted sexual contact.
      Now, off to have a glass of wine and focus on less upsetting issues (my kitties).

      • brebay

        So sorry that happened. It’s amazing how little has changed on this issue. If anything, I think it was getting better for a while, but now the seems to be swinging back with this taliban mentality that women are in charge of men’s’ behavior. If it’s any consolation, many of us mothers of sons are indeed teaching this: Being a gentleman is about who YOU are, not about who the girl or woman is. A girl doesn’t have to do anything to “earn” your respect. You give it to all girls because it’s about you, not about how she acts/dresses/behaves.

    • Stephanie

      When I was in elementary school, there was this boy named Wayne who thought it was funny to sneak up behind me and grab my breasts. This went on for months. I developed some pretty good reflexes and one day I managed to pop him in the mouth before he ran off. Well, naturally I got hauled to the principal’s office where I proceeded to tell him the whole story.
      God bless that man. He told me that it wasn’t my fault and that I did the right thing. He verified my story with a couple of my friends and then called Wayne to his office. I don’t know what the principal said but I do know that Wayne apologized later and never did it again.
      I think if all girls had that kind of support, this would be a very different world.

    • Kelly

      This doesn’t surprise me. A few years ago I had a pretty heated argument with an adult woman who told me that I should expect to be groped and molested by strange men any time I go to a bar because that’s “normal bar behavior” and if I didn’t know that I was obviously a recluse with no life who never left my house.

      It’s sad that so many women just accept that sort of treatment. I’ve only been groped by a stranger once and I completely lost my shit. I still remember the bitch who stood there and complained that I was a drama queen because I didn’t want some random stranger sticking his hand up my skirt. Sadly enough, all the men around seemed to understand why I was upset but the women were not even slightly supportive.