Here Comes Peter Cottontail With Some Ten Dollar Organic Edible Easter Grass

edible easter grass I like to think that I’m one of those cool moms who find totally adorable and interesting items when I am helping the Easter Bunny carefully art-direct my children’s easter baskets to discover on the holiday. I care about things like the planet and the environment and I do my best to reduce my carbon footprint by buying those totally lame ass water bottles that are super thin and make a horrific crunchy noise when my dog steals them off my coffee table to play with. I’m a good citizen of this planet and I do my part to recycle and reduce and reuse and all that other shit. But I will tell you one thing I won’t be doing this holiday, and that is ordering some TEN DOLLAR organic edible Easter grass from Dean And Deluca. From the product description:

Tim’s Real Easter Basket Grass is a must-have this Easter holiday. 100% Chemical Free, this Easter basket essential will allow for a worry-free Easter morning knowing that those jelly beans the bunny left unwrapped in the basket are safe for your children, or you!, to eat.

Seriously? I’m sorry, but if your kid eats the stupid Easter grass that comes in the basket you may have bigger concerns than whether or not the 99 cent crap you get at your local Walgreens is ruining the environment. I freaking HATE Easter grass- the pink or blue or yellow plastic cellophane crap you usually find in most baskets. It gets all over the place, it gets tangled un the beater brush of your vacuum, and if you are a cat owner like I am you know your cat LOVES this shit and if they eat some of it they will also puke this shit up and you are left with brightly colored strands of neon cellophane all over your house.

 

But there is an alternative between buying the drugstore planet-ruining garbage and the edible organic forage grasses grown in Vermont version – be like me and don’t buy either.

Your kids won’t care. No kid is ever going to pitch a fit because their basket doesn’t have GRASS in it. And ten bucks will buy you a whole lot of Cadbury cream eggs. You are welcome.

(Image: dean and deluca)

 

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    • Valerie

      After that cat vomit GIF I am exceedingly glad I did not order the soup of the day from our local deli- baked potato soup.

    • CMJ
    • Rachel Sea

      I actually think this is a great idea, because I hate spending money on colored paper shreds (because I don’t want to spend $1200 to have plastic grass surgically removed from my cat), except that I am not a crazy person, so I’m going to spend $5 to buy a huge bag of Timothy grass or alfalfa hay, use a few fistfuls for baskets, and donate the rest to the Humane Society for rabbit feed.

    • Megan Zander

      I had the ” to do yesterday grass or not” discussion this past weekend with my husband, our cat treats it like crack and I know our one year olds will eat it, so he had the genius idea of using old gift bags instead of buying Easter baskets and grass this year. The boys love to tear paper, so the bag itself is now part of the gift. I’m kind of mad I didn’t think of this myself.

      • Valerie

        I don’t use the plastic kind- I use the paper kind. So probably the same effect as the paper giftbag without the work of having to tear it up. :-)

        ETA: reading comprehension. The kids love tearing it anyway. NM!

      • Megan Zander

        I love the idea of the paper kind, so wel will probably use it starting next year, when they aren’t eating everything, BUT, confession time, I have a box with like 10 bags of plastic Easter grass back from before I got married, bc we briefly thought we would use it in our wedding centerpieces (classier minds prevailed) but I am cheap, so I have been saving it for the past 7 years bc I told my husband we would use them when we have kids, and I really don’t want to admit defeat and throw them out now, even though I don’t want to use them.

      • Valerie

        No judgment here. I reuse the same grass in their baskets every year for the most part. Sometimes I split a small bag between them to bulk it up a bit but it lasts forever- why keep buying it new? :-)

    • Jessifer

      Er, no thanks. My husband’s family back in Cuba is still trying to wrap their minds around the fact that there is such a thing as “cat food” that we buy at the grocery store for our cat. They’d lose their damn minds if I told them we spent half a month of their salary on edible grass.

    • Robotic Socks

      Some stupid HIPSTERS were high one day, thought “it’d be cool to feed kids some grass” this Easter

      $$$

      • Valerie

        Socks, I feel like you are probably a Republican.

      • Megan Zander

        Or just Bethany, pulling the worlds most epic trollstunt

      • Bethany Ramos

        Damn, I would be so proud of myself if I did that.

      • Valerie

        Yeah. Like a Long Con of epic proportion.

      • Robotic Socks

        So, you’re saying you would be so proud of yourself if you did me?

      • Valerie

        Stifler! You’re back!

      • Robotic Socks

        I didn’t know I ever left?

      • Valerie

        You haven’t been too pervy lately. It felt like you’d….changed.

        ::cue Lifetime movie tinkly piano music::

      • Robotic Socks

        I’m fairly a-political

        I only care about things that affect me. Mainly taxes. :D

    • Alex Lee

      You say that now, but you know you’ll be on a 1-week grass-cleanse next month. #Icandoit

    • chickadee

      I have a lot of organic grass for sale. *I* will only charge $5.00/bag + shipping and handling. It will be shipped the same day, since I just need to go outside and pull it out of the ground.

      My cats confirm that it’s perfectly edible.

    • Coffee Advisor

      Actually, if you have a cat, they would probably like to eat the grass. I remember when I was a kid, the cat would eat the tinsel off the Christmas tree and later on make sparkly #2′s in the litter box.

    • Katherine Handcock

      But then how will you have the heartwarming moment after Easter when your kid screams after going to the bathroom and you get to say, “See? THAT’S why you don’t eat the grass in the Easter basket”?

      Seriously, of all the things I could spend $10 on, this is probably one of the most ludicrous. I’ve never had grass in the kids’ baskets and they’ve never noticed or cared.

    • http://www.8bitdad.com Zach Rosenberg

      DAD TIP: You can get out your paper shredder and shred yesterday’s junk mail and use that. If it’s good enough for real rabbit cages, it’s good enough for your kid’s Easter basket. Plus, it teaches the kids the true meaning behind the holiday: a spring lesson of reusing, just as the dead rabbits compost into the earth and grow grass for the next to graze.

    • SA

      Kind of tempting. You could pack the left over grass in their lunch the rest of the week. :)

    • AP

      Paper grass FTW! I do shell out a little extra for the Made in the USA brand though.

    • Alanna Jorgensen

      I put grass in my daughter’s basket one time. Once. Never again. She’s never asked where the grass is Easter morning.

    • Williwaw

      I have whole yard full of Easter grass. Real, too, and compostable. Problem solved.

    • Jenny

      I read this as the grass is safe for candy – not that it is safe to eat… It says the unwrapped candy is safe, not the grass.

    • Lindsey Sweet

      I’ve always just used the paper grass instead, because it’s easier to clean up. One Easter with the plastic stuff was enough for me. But $10…….no.