sexy

The word on the street is that you will stop having sex as soon as you have a baby. I guess in a way this is great because it is an automatic form of birth control. But many couples aren’t cool with a dusty vag that is put to no use after popping out a baby.

Where is the balance? How are you supposed to find enough time to sleep in order to muster up enthusiasm about the P-in-the-V? Maybe you fall into the category of so many parents today who are both working full-time jobs. Between shuttling the kids to daycare, working all day long, running errands, and attempting to make dinner, life is busy, busy, busy. When push comes to shove, sleep is much better than sex. We can probably all agree on that one.

My husband and I both work at home, so we have some time on our hands. We are still both tired and drained at the end of the day, but we talk openly about our sex life. We’re not ravaging each other every single day, but we both feel satisfied with the frequency of sex in our relationship.

60% of other couples have come up with a different solution. The only way to make sure that sex fits on your plate is to schedule it, plain and simple:

Danielle Jiggens, a 34-year-old stay-at-home mum, lives in Hertford with her husband, Mark, 39, who works in security.

They have two children, Hunter, 17 months, and Layla, two months.

Sometimes our alarm goes off at 5am. Not because anyone has to get up for work that early. And it’s not like I don’t dream of more sleep. I do – all the time.

No, 5am is passion time!

That might seem extreme but with Mark working often unsociable hours, my mad life with two children under two and our out-of-sync body clocks, if we didn’t plan it we’d never have it!

The funny thing is that the Danielle and Mark in the story sound a lot like my husband Mark and me. Like Danielle and Mark, we were crazy enough to have two kids under two, just 16 months apart. I can tell you from personal experience that Danielle and Mark are GD exhausted and probably bitch at each other about whose turn it is to change the next dirty diaper. Hardly the stuff sexual fantasies are made of.

Sex requires a concentrated effort, especially if you have one or more small children at home. My husband and I haven’t yet gotten to the point of scheduling sex, but I don’t see anything wrong with it. If you can barely keep your head on straight, scheduled sex is probably the only way you’re going to get laid.