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This may be my bias showing, but I have some major beef with baby shower games. At my own baby shower, we went the coed route, and I refused to have traditional, silly games because I knew they wouldn’t fly. I have personally hated baby shower games ever since I attended my first shower years ago.

In theory, baby shower games seem like a great idea. How else are you going to break the ice? How else are you going to bring women together from all walks of life—family, friends, and coworkers?

I know baby shower games have their time and place, but I can’t seem to get over the lameness of them all. I have tried to be open-minded. I just can’t do it. I’ve taken part in planning and co-hosting several baby showers and have objectively Googled fun baby shower games. Let me tell you, the pickins’ are slim.

In your typical baby shower game lineup, you have the Fan Favorites: Measuring the pregnant belly with a roll of toilet paper (for some reason, I always win this game), smelling candy bar poop in baby diapers, guessing the amount of jellybeans in a baby bottle, baby bingo, and…WAIT FOR IT… the baby clothespin game.

If you’ve never played the baby clothespin game, you are the luckiest person on earth. Seriously, I wish that I could live your life and get back all of the hours I have wasted on this terrible excuse for a game.

The premise of the game is this: Every woman gets a clothespin and is cautioned not to say “baby” throughout the shower. If you accidentally slip up and say B-A-B-Y, then the greedy clothespin monster woman who heard you gets to steal your clothespin. Spoiler alert—mostly, nobody cares about this game. But by the end of the shower, there is always one woman who is way too into it and has hoarded all of the clothespins for herself.

I hate baby shower games. Whenever I take part in planning a shower for a friend, I normally try to gently nudge them in the direction of a game-less shower where friends gather round and talk and catch up like real people—without the need for silly distractions that make everyone feel like a bunch of awkward eighth-graders at a dance. Down with stupid games. Up with a legitimately enjoyable baby shower.

(Image: Sean Locke Photography/Shutterstock)