16 Ways I Am Turning Into My Parents

Turning Into Your Parents There comes a time in our lives when we must face the cold hard truth. After years of trying to avoid the inevitable, it is finally a reality. We have become our parents. And there really is nothing we can do about it. Read along for 16 ways in which this has happened to me:

1. “When I Was Your Age….”
My dad had a story that he liked to tell us when we were young. It was something about him walking up a hill in the middle of a snowstorm while delivering groceries. I don’t recall if he was wearing shoes, but there is a definite possibility that he wasn’t. Oh, and he was five years old at the time. I think of my dad when I tell my four year old daughter similar sob stories. Take snow days, for instance. In my day, they didn’t exist. It snowed. You went to school. End of story. I tell her how lucky she is to get a day off the very moment a snowflake falls to the ground. When I was her age, I walked to school once in four feet of snow (okay it could have been four inches, but at that age I had no concept of the metric system). My daughter looks at me with the same indifferent look that I always gave my father. With this memory, I move on. Kids will never get it.

2. “You Call That Music?”


There was always some kind of argument in the car as soon as the radio went on. Usually it revolved around how sucky our music was. I am not even going to get into what happened if, God forbid, any lyrics happened to be sexual in nature. I got yelled at for that too. As if I wrote the song. My parents grew up with the greats. They worshipped Sinatra. Loved the Beatles. Fast forward to today, I understand my parents’ nostalgia. I often yearn for the greats of my time. I grew up listening to Madonna, The Beastie Boys and Nirvana. They were my faves; and my children are getting exposure to them too. Although my daughter would much rather wander around the house belting out “Let it Go”. And that’s okay. For now.

3. No Sleep Again. Ever


Almost five years ago we brought our daughter home from the hospital. Almost five years ago is the last time I had a good night sleep. There must be some kind of connection. I call it parenthood. My dad says he hasn’t slept in fifty years. At least I have that to look forward to.

4. Forgetfulness


I remember getting annoyed when my parents confused my sister’s name with mine. It got so bad that, at one point, I just started responding to her name instead of my own. It was easier that way. I was always so great with names. That was, until I became a parent. Now, I frequently call my son by his sister’s name. And vice versa. They better get used to it as their mommy isn’t getting any younger. I am lucky I can remember to put my pants on in the morning.

5. I May Just Get A Fanny Pack
The day my mom bought a fanny pack, I was absolutely mortified. Now, looking back, I think she was on to something. A simple way to attach all my belongings as I am chasing my kids around the park? Yes, please! Much better than my cumbersome diaper bag. I will be purchasing one tomorrow.

6. Eyeglasses. With String. Worn Around Neck

This was how my parents wore their glasses. I used to laugh at them. They told me I should get the same as I was always misplacing my own eyeglasses. I would laugh again. They now have the last laugh as I constantly have no idea where I put my glasses from one moment to the next. I am almost positive that this is due to the forgetfulness for which I am suffering. I am making my own string tomorrow and will be putting them on my glasses. They will go on my night table every night. Right next to my fanny pack.

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    • Robotic Socks

      AARP sent me an application form…

      I’m still trying to figure out which of my friends trolled me.

      • Kathleen Sullivan

        Oh yes! They have been in touch with me as well!

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        My wife once sent away for me to get a free sample of adult diapers in the mail. It came, fully labeled with my name and what it was on the package, and our landlords were the ones who picked up and sorted the mail so they totally would’ve seen it.

      • Valerie

        Bwahahaha. My husband gets letters ALL the time from AARP and places that sell hearing aids. Which is perfect because I rag on him for not being able to hear anything and that he acts like a crochety old man.

      • Valerie

        And I love that someone trolled the troll.

      • Robotic Socks

        LOL whenever I see free mag subscription offers, I always sign up all my friends using embarrassing names like “Michael Teenboylover Johnson”

        It’s particularly fun when I have it addressed to their work or their parents’ homes.

      • Valerie

        You need to send the NAMBLA newsletter. Or Teen Beat.

      • Robotic Socks

        OK Val, you’re a little too good at this. I think it’s time to admit that you’re a closet troll.

      • Valerie

        I’m learning from the best!

      • Valerie

        And this totally makes me think of Ms. Chanandilier Bong- what was on Chandler’s TV Guide subscription on Friends.

      • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

        I sent one of my college friends a Stop the Bedwetting Service thing (for teens and young adults) that was on a Wal Mart billboard. You had to even fill in the person’s age and how many times a week they wet the bed. They were seeeeeriously persistant with him. Still one of my favorites.

    • Kay_Sue

      My story for #1 is that when I was my son’s age, we had to rewind movies before we could watch them again.

      It would be more effective if he knew what “rewind” meant.

      • Valerie

        I try to explain house phone lines to my kids. Lol. My husband and I have always only had our cell phones. They are blown away by the fact that other people have real phones!

      • Kay_Sue

        That’s hilarious. My folks have a landline still, so we haven’t had that one. But he was seriously perplexed by VHS tapes.

      • momjones

        Do I need to explain party lines to you and Valerie?

      • Kay_Sue

        I have heard about those…. :-P

      • Valerie

        Hahaha. I’ve watched a lot of old timey TV and movies. I do know what that is! :-)

      • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

        And they will never know the joy of when your tape player starts to eat the tape and you have to physically rewind it using a pencil. I tried to tell my students about that. Minds were blown that day.

      • Kay_Sue

        They have no way to even frame the concept. It cracks me up a little to see kids grapple with it. Some of my cousins are still in middle and high school, and they are the same way.

      • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

        Well and sadly a lot of my students have never even used a CD. You mean, it’s like a DVD, but for music? Why would someone have this?….. It is so funny.

        I believe my parents did this with to me with their ancient music, too. Good lord, I am them.

      • Kay_Sue

        I remember my mom showing me one of these things, and having no idea what it was. I can’t blame them, I guess.

      • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

        We didn’t have any 8-tracks when I was a kid, but my parents did have some fantabulous records, like The Magic of Zamfir. I shit you not. And, it won’t let me put in the cheesy-ass pic. You’ll just have to trust that it’s epic.

      • Kay_Sue

        I will have to google it.

        I have no idea what my mom did with all of her vinyl. I would actually love to have a record player for them…that would be awesome.

      • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

        My son was given a Fisher Price record player for his birthday. He’s going to have absolutely no frame of reference for this toy.

      • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

        I know! That and the little wheely phone toy they still make with the rotary dial…. still cute, but, the poor kids have no hope of really understanding it.

      • ElleJai

        I have literally never seen one of those in Australia. Did it even happen here?!

      • Lee

        When I was a nanny nearly 10 years ago I had to explain what a pay phone was and find one in her school to show her since she didn’t believe me.

      • Ptownsteveschick

        Haha, at my mom’s house when her landline rings, my daughter runs around yelling “What is that noise!!” She knows it is a phone, but she still doesn’t get it.

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        I had to explain film negatives to my niece (12) and nephew (16) recently when they found a box of them with my old stuff. It was pretty surreal to think of a time when we had to WAIT to see how the photos came out, and be mindful of how many we were taking…..

      • Kay_Sue

        I know. It’s crazy how far technology has come.

      • Lee

        My mom lets my 2.5 yo play with her IPAD. When ever I pull out our laptop he gets really pissed when he keeps touching the screen and nothing happens.

      • Kay_Sue

        That’s kind of hilarious in a way, not because your toddler is frustrated, but because I sometimes do the same thing with my MacBook. Usually when I have had a few drinks, which I am going to take as further proof that kids are really just tiny drunk people all the time.

      • girlindisguise

        Oh wow, that’s going to be a fun one to explain to my kids when they grow up. Rewinding the VHS before taking it back to video rental store? They will think I’m speaking gibberish!

      • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

        OMG we watched one of my old Disney movies the other day and at the end my daughter was like, “What’s that high pitch squealing sound?”

        Ummmm, it’s rewinding, dear.

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      • Robotic Socks

        LOL He upvotes himself a lot too

      • JavierKStevens

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      • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

        He’s a really sophisticated model :)

      • Valerie

        He’s your BFF, don’t lie.

      • Kay_Sue

        The first time we ran across a VHS tape, he was seriously confused by the entire concept. He was like, “What is this? Why is it square? It plays a movie? But it is so big…”

    • Williwaw

      When my kid is up puking all night, I don’t wish it was me instead of him. I wish it was someone I don’t like.

    • Ursi

      My parents were health nuts throughout my childhood and so getting fast food was a big special event for us. Predictably I ended up blowing a lot of money on drive-thru crap in my teen and college years because it was the best food ever. My mother always said, “One day you’ll regret it.”

      Well that day came and now hitting the drive-thru feels like giving up on dinner. And then there’s the fact that I am so hooked on McDonalds breakfast, you don’t even know.

      Children, listen to your food nazi parents because you cannot crave what you haven’t had…

      • Guets

        Oh McDonald’s breakfast. It is so disgusting but everyone in my office gets it waaaay more than we should. My parents would only get it on special occasions (birthday mornings) so we thought it was the best thing ever and as adults gorged on it. I really wish they hadn’t made it into this “amazing” thing and that it wasn’t so damn convenient!

    • itpainsme2say

      Everyone in my family gets the names wrong. My sister and I have a one letter difference so if you turn the i into a g and switch the vowels her name turns into mine. They cursed themselves.

    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

      1. My mom was a Tetris master. I am the ruler of Candy Crush.
      2. My mom used to drive me to school in her pyjamas. I work from home in my jammies, so to pick up my son from daycare, all I do is change my pants and throw on a coat. Bras are for suckers.

      Sometime else I intend to make happen is the time she pretended the car became sentient and decided we should go to Pizza Hut.

    • simoneutecht

      My 15 year old daughter asked me what a typewriter was the other day.

    • Guets

      5.) I always gave my Grandmother grief for this because she would go down the line of all the grandson’s names and dog’s names before she could get to my brother’s name every time. Now that my memory is going I’ll shut my face about that.
      6.I hate fanny packs but I just saw a “travel belt” which it like a fabric band that holds your stuff. Same thing. Either way it is too convenient.
      7.) I’m still in my 20′s and already I’m like “eeh my hip popped out and my foot hurts”
      9.) I was a night owl before but now that I’ve been training myself to wake up earlier so mornings suck less we go to bed at 9pm. Every night. I can’t do the no sleep/less sleep thing like I did in my early 20′s which was: 8-6 ft day job, home, eat, online school, sleep 8-9:30, go to pt night job 10-4am and repeat and repeat and repeat.

    • ElleJai

      Also, on an unrelated topic: I access Mommyish from a cell phone. I don’t mind oone banner ad but they continually show up at the bottom of my screen, and as soon as you press x they open a new one! It really interferes with my ability to access and read the site. What can be done about this?

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