There comes a time in our lives when we must face the cold hard truth. After years of trying to avoid the inevitable, it is finally a reality. We have become our parents. And there really is nothing we can do about it. Read along for 16 ways in which this has happened to me:
1. “When I Was Your Age….”
My dad had a story that he liked to tell us when we were young. It was something about him walking up a hill in the middle of a snowstorm while delivering groceries. I don’t recall if he was wearing shoes, but there is a definite possibility that he wasn’t. Oh, and he was five years old at the time. I think of my dad when I tell my four year old daughter similar sob stories. Take snow days, for instance. In my day, they didn’t exist. It snowed. You went to school. End of story. I tell her how lucky she is to get a day off the very moment a snowflake falls to the ground. When I was her age, I walked to school once in four feet of snow (okay it could have been four inches, but at that age I had no concept of the metric system). My daughter looks at me with the same indifferent look that I always gave my father. With this memory, I move on. Kids will never get it.
2. “You Call That Music?”
There was always some kind of argument in the car as soon as the radio went on. Usually it revolved around how sucky our music was. I am not even going to get into what happened if, God forbid, any lyrics happened to be sexual in nature. I got yelled at for that too. As if I wrote the song. My parents grew up with the greats. They worshipped Sinatra. Loved the Beatles. Fast forward to today, I understand my parents’ nostalgia. I often yearn for the greats of my time. I grew up listening to Madonna, The Beastie Boys and Nirvana. They were my faves; and my children are getting exposure to them too. Although my daughter would much rather wander around the house belting out “Let it Go”. And that’s okay. For now.
3. No Sleep Again. Ever
Almost five years ago we brought our daughter home from the hospital. Almost five years ago is the last time I had a good night sleep. There must be some kind of connection. I call it parenthood. My dad says he hasn’t slept in fifty years. At least I have that to look forward to.
I remember getting annoyed when my parents confused my sister’s name with mine. It got so bad that, at one point, I just started responding to her name instead of my own. It was easier that way. I was always so great with names. That was, until I became a parent. Now, I frequently call my son by his sister’s name. And vice versa. They better get used to it as their mommy isn’t getting any younger. I am lucky I can remember to put my pants on in the morning.
5. I May Just Get A Fanny Pack
The day my mom bought a fanny pack, I was absolutely mortified. Now, looking back, I think she was on to something. A simple way to attach all my belongings as I am chasing my kids around the park? Yes, please! Much better than my cumbersome diaper bag. I will be purchasing one tomorrow.
6. Eyeglasses. With String. Worn Around Neck
This was how my parents wore their glasses. I used to laugh at them. They told me I should get the same as I was always misplacing my own eyeglasses. I would laugh again. They now have the last laugh as I constantly have no idea where I put my glasses from one moment to the next. I am almost positive that this is due to the forgetfulness for which I am suffering. I am making my own string tomorrow and will be putting them on my glasses. They will go on my night table every night. Right next to my fanny pack.