12 Photos That Prove Making Your Child Sit On The Easter Bunny’s Lap Is A Horrible Idea

Is there really a kid in existence who is happy with the idea of breathing life into a giant bunny? I don’t think so. The Easter Bunny tradition needs some work. Can we just agree that henceforth he should be a real-sized bunny who happily hops around your yard leaving jellybeans in his wake, not a giant monstrosity with a fixed smile who will haunt your kids’ dreams for life?

I don’t have a single photo with the Easter Bunny. The idea was pitched once; we went to our local mall, I took one look at the velvety-cloaked horror-pet and begged to get a churro instead of waiting in line to sit on its lap.

I think I’d rather have a troop of dancing clowns follow me around all day than subject one of my children to this horror-show of a mall tradition.

1. Half Human, Half Bunny, All Horror



I just shit myself. This poor kid.

2. Just Sneaking Up On You In The Woods, Relax!


Pinterest/ Elaine Madrid

When I was a child, I had a recurring nightmare that a gang of clowns was pirouetting up a hill and I was frozen still – unable to run. This is worse.

3. The Easter Bunny Of Disappointment



Want to give your kid the worst Easter, ever? Put some sweatpants on your head, shove some radishes up your nose and call it a day.

4. These Kids Will Never Sleep Again



Hold me.

5. Creepy Auntie Easter Bunny



That time the aunt you hated fashioned an Easter Bunny costume out of a bathmat and some hand towels.

6. The Mustachioed, Waxed Brow Easter Bunny



Something about this Easter Bunny’s mouth is unsettling.

7. There’s Nothing Festive About Vacant Eye-Holes



Why would you bring your daughter here? Who hurt you?

8. Easter Bunny At Bus Stop With Child



Somebody call the police.

9. You Can Never Escape The Easter Bunny, Don’t Even F*&king Try 



Seriously though – what’s happening here?

10. Oh, Look! The Devil Himself Is An Easter Bunny



Someone get that child off its lap, immediately.

11. Even Big, Fluffy Bunnies Are Horrifying



This one’s kinda cute. Doesn’t matter. Don’t do this to your children.

12. What?


Pinterest/ parentingfailblog

That little girl just dropped dead of horror and the other kids are too terrified to run.

You can reach this post's author, Maria Guido, on twitter.
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    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

      Number 2 was the best only until I got to number 10. I’m laughing too hard. I was holding my pee, but now I absolutely must go to the bathroom. Excuse me.

    • Robotic Socks

      Those bunnies just a tshirt that says

      “I will eat your children!”

    • SA

      I had seen a few of these before, but not #2!!!!! OMG. Is it bad that I want to rent a bunny costume and do that to my kid!!

    • K.

      Anyone else having “Donnie Darko” flashbacks?

      • Elisa Probert

        Nah, Frank is way less scary than these guys!

        Funny side note…Frank the rabbit was sort of the inspiration for a failure state in the Sims 2. A sim that got lonely enough would start talking to a giant easter bunny with one button eye missing. It was kind of hilarious.

    • Kay_Sue

      In 8 & 9, those bunnies are clearly kidnapping those children. Why the fuck is someone photographing and not helping?!

      And the last one…I’m still laughing too hard. It just triggered this imagining of what that mascot’s inner monologue must be, which boiled down to, “Well, fuck.”

    • Valerie

      I feel like I can see the outline of #3′s twig and berries.

      • Maria Guido

        Is that a man?

      • Valerie

        I thought he/she looked like Tom Petty.

    • Jen

      Oh my gosh…I am busting a gut laughing at these! And I am 38 weeks pregnant, so if I pop out a baby today, I blame you, Maria! These are horrifying!!!!!

      • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

        I predict in a few weeks you’ll be trying to find this article back on purpose so that you CAN.

    • Life-Sized Mommy

      #11 is MY Easter Bunny!

      Okay, some clarification…I worked the EB place at the mall last year. I mostly took the photos, but I did a shift or two in the costume. That was our Easter Bunny! The cute one!

      • Maria Guido

        That one is actually the least horrifying.

      • Lilly

        that’s because the bunny is stoned

    • itpainsme2say

      I like bunny at the bus stop

      • Maria Guido

        I think he’s wearing paisley.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Hahahhaha #1 is the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen.

    • darras

      WHAT THE HELL IS THAT??? Is a giant bunny a THING over there? Shit I’m going to have nightmares for a month… Where is the mind bleach when you need it??

      Excuse me while I go and sob quietly in a corner..

    • TrudyML

      I haven’t laughed this hard in a while.

    • TwentiSomething Mom

      Number 10 is freaking demonic, the rest are just plain creepy, except 11 that’s the only normal looking one.

    • Ursi

      I think the trend of forcing kids to sit in costumed strangers laps for holiday photos is weird to begin with. Did ANYONE enjoy this as a kid? Santa was always a chore for me and you couldn’t have paid me enough to get close to any of those Easter Bunny.

      • Williwaw

        At least Santa looks like a human (albeit a creepy one who should be driving around in a white panel van and offering random kids candy). These bunnies are the stuff of nightmares.

      • darras

        Not a gif.. but.. :D

    • noodlestein

      And of course, there is this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-uOqV8w3p8
      The Easter Bunny hates you!

    • Williwaw

      All these bunnies are terrifying. Number Four looks like it should be carrying an axe. Number Ten looks like he will steal your soul.

    • Rachel Sea

      I was a mall Easter Bunny for years. Most kids were just in it for the free candy, but there always some who were enraptured (I did have an awesome costume though, not a horror show reject). Kids would abandon their parents, jump the line, and join in other kids photos. They would hug me and refuse to let go, especially when I was walking to or from my position, it wasn’t unusual to have a toddler hanging off a leg.

      Some kids were also terrified of course, which made me feel terrible. I wished that we would have turned those parents away.


    • liz

      2 makes me want to crack up and cry at the same time. I would never do this to my kid mostly cause I’m still scared to get anywhere close to costumed figures.

    • Megan Zander

      Made me laugh so hard I cried. 10 is so scary!

    • My2bits


    • JJ

      I always find it funny how we tell our kids since toddler hood to not to talk or go with strangers yet were so fast to shove them on the laps of middle aged, often bearded white dudes who are complete strangers resembling hitch hikers or creepy bunny costumes and then expect them to smile with happiness at it. Some kids are fine with that but I know a lot that aren’t and I can’t blame them for being scared. I am an adult and if someone made me sit on their lap for a picture they damn well better be a half naked chiselled Chippendale dancer that’s all I am saying.

    • Momma425

      #7 is like half easter bunny, half KKK. SOOOOO creepy!

      • Elisa Probert

        And the way the kid is smiling…like “If I smile will it not EAT me?”

    • Elisa Probert

      The Easter Bunny is evil incarnate. GAAHH!!!

    • tSubh Dearg

      “a real-sized bunny who happily hops around your yard leaving jellybeans in his wake”

      This line makes me think that the bunny is pooping out the jellybeans and now I’m not sure I can ever eat a jellybean again. On the other hand I am very, very happy that this idea has never taken off on this side of the Atlantic!

    • LiteBrite

      Well, the bright side is that we get to laugh at all these pictures years later, right?


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