noahHello, I am a Christian. While I have a great respect for faith, I have greatly diminishing respect for people who try to derive deep, existential meaning from everything. (I’m talking to you, parents who watched Frozen.)

I have quite a few Christian friends on my Facebook newsfeed. Before I have even gotten the chance to see Noah, everyone and their pastor have already begun bitching about Noah’s erroneous plot and Biblical inaccuracies.

Several sources say that conservative Christians are right to be outraged by the presentation of the Noah movie. The movie was described by the Matt Walsh Blog as:

Noah is a major Hollywood blockbuster, made by an atheist director best known for his previous flick where a mentally disturbed lesbian ballerina goes insane and bleeds to death on stage. Already, a critical person might be slightly concerned about his handling of the Bible, considering what he just did to the ballet.

These concerns grew from suspicion to reality before it was even released, when the man himself came out publicly and professed Noah to be both an environmentalist propaganda piece, and the “least Biblical” Bible film ever made…

I’ve also heard some “Christian leaders” endorse this steaming pile of heretical horse manure. I’m tempted to accuse them of being cowardly, dumb, or dishonest, but I’ll just give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they slept through the most troubling parts — like the part at the beginning, and the end, and all of the parts in between.

CUE MORAL OUTRAGE! Oh, wait—don’t. Because this is a MOVIE we are talking about, which was in no way promised to be a literal interpretation of Scripture. Calm down, Matt Walsh. There is no reason to spiritualize every movie that we see, even if it is loosely based on a Biblical story.

As a Christian, it is that overly spiritual attitude that infuriates me. I was raised in a very religious home, and I was given the impression that I wasn’t allowed to listen to secular music or watch secular movies without deriving some kind of message from them. As I’ve grown into an adult and have reexamined my personal relationship with God, I realize how absurd that viewpoint really is. God is much more secure than that. I doubt He’s going to fall off His throne if Christians fail to slap a Jesus label on every piece of media that they see.

Here’s my take: I am going to see Noah this weekend because it has great ratings, and Russell Crowe is a boss. I am comfortable enough in my belief in God and the Bible to watch Noah with an open mind, accurate or not. The cool thing about God and the Bible is that there is always room to learn and understand more, beyond what you have been told in church (or in my case, Bible College).

Just watching a movie like Noah may open my eyes to perceptions about the story I have never considered before, or it may not. Maybe I’ll just eat my popcorn and relish in a few hours of relaxation away from my kids and enjoy the movie for what it is—a MOVIE—without grasping for spiritual meaning.

(Image: IMDB)