Gwyneth Paltrow Doesn’t Care That We All Want To Punch Her In The Face

Live Talks Los Angeles Presents An Evening With Chelsea Handler In Conversation With Gwyneth PaltrowIt is simply not Gwyneth Paltrow‘s problem that the rest of us don’t make as much money as she does. Also, it’s totally fair for even the richest of women to admit that parenting is hard. That doesn’t mean that every mom who isn’t rolling in money isn’t going to want to punch Gwyneth in the face when she talks about how much harder she has it as a movie star mom.

Moms across the land did a collective eye roll when they read Gwyneth’s recent comments about being a movie star mom in an interview with E online:

“I think it’s different when you have an office job, because it’s routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening. When you’re shooting a movie, they’re like, ‘We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,’ and then you work 14 hours a day and that part of it is very difficult. I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as, of course there are challenges, but it’s not like being on set.”

Does she really believe all of the other perks she enjoys as being someone who has enough money to afford things like nannies, chefs, maids and every goddamn thing a person would ever need to help out around the house are trumped by the fact that she has to pull a few long days in Wisconsin? She can’t, can she? This is why we make fun of Gwyneth Paltrow; because although she may be the nicest woman in the world – the words that spew forth from her mouth-hole make her sound like a total asshole.

She’s out of touch with working women. She’s out of touch with moms who have to honestly worry about things like bills and rent and putting food on the table. And so what? There are a lot of celebrities who are out of touch with that. Her lifestyle blog, Goop, certainly makes it clear what audience she’s reaching for; the wealthy. Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t belong to us and she doesn’t want to. I clicked on the first piece of clothing that caught my eye on the “shop” page of her blog. It was a sleeveless white blazer. It’s $595.

There’s a huge void between working women like myself who would be annoyed by Gwyneth’s comments and Gwyneth herself; it’s not meant to be filled. Gwyneth doesn’t give two shits that I think she comes off like an out-of-touch asshole. Her best friends are Jay-Z and Madonna. I’d rather hang out with them, too.

We don’t have to give Gwyneth a break, but we can certainly stop expecting for her to act like the average mom. She’s not. And I doubt she wants to be.

(photo: Getty Images)

You can reach this post's author, Maria Guido, on twitter.
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    • Kendra

      Well, as a “regular mom” I’d like to point out that I also don’t have a nanny, and I don’t really know what “do all the stuff in the morning” means, because my morning looks like NOTHING productive. But, carry on, dear, if you need to feel as though your life is so much more complex than others.

      • Maria Guido

        You know! All the STUFF. The stuff we all do when we’re not on location! haha

      • Mystik Spiral
      • EX

        You know – the stuff: try to get ready in the dark before anyone wakes up, try to get your toddler dressed in under 30 minutes, dress them again after they remove at least one article of clothes, feed the baby, hope you don’t have to feed the baby again before you get out the door, change the baby’s diaper when she poops 3.2 seconds before you walk out the door, try to remember the check for day care, drag your toddler kicking and screaming to the car, show up 15 minutes late for work… You know, the stuff.

      • Valerie

        So much this but I’m now straddling the school age and preschool version. So it’s “Does Ben have swim today? Oh shit, where’s the Spider-Man bathing suit? He hates the fishy one because the draw string annoys him. Where are Claire’s library books? Oh shit, her spelling test is today?? Brush your teeth, guys! We will have bagels in the car and will run thru the spelling words on the drive. Oh Goddammit she has on the shoes with a hole in the toe. Where are my freaking glasses?? Ugh I have a run in my tights.”
        :-)

      • SusannahJoy

        i think she means work. Because obviously, people who have regular jobs only work in the morning and then come home in the afternoon to hang out with the kids.

      • EX

        Huh. I totally didn’t read it that way at first but I think you’re right.

      • rrlo

        OMG – I think you’re right! But that makes it so much more insane… I was also reading “the stuff” as regular morning things like arguing about clothes and breakfast. But she totally meant work…

    • Tinyfaeri

      I don’t think I’ve ever given her enough thought to want to punch her in the face. Or read any of the interviews she’s done, so that may be why.

      • rrlo

        Same here, I didn’t know Gwyneth as a parenting concept until I started reading Mommyish.

    • K.

      I wish I had written this because it’s precisely what I was thinking when I heard about her interview:

      http://nypost.com/2014/03/27/a-working-moms-open-letter-to-gwyneth-paltrow/

      A witty read for anyone who’s interested!

      • EX

        I think “livin’ la vida desk job” is my new favorite phrase.

      • K.

        Oh, and there’s this one too:

        http://thoughtcatalog.com/nico-lang/2013/09/45-hilariously-ridiculous-gwyneth-paltrow-quotes-that-will-make-you-want-to-punch-something/

        (all her dimwitted quotes that will make you laugh…or cry, but I suggest laugh)

        …I can’t help it. Someone who is bright and articulate yet utterly devoid of wisdom at the same time, and 100% self-absorbed while also being 100% lacking in self-awareness…it’s just too much fun to pass up hating on.

      • Maria Guido

        I think you’ve summed it up perfectly.

      • pixie

        “it was as if I heard the rock say: ‘You have the answers. You are your teacher.’ I thought I was having an auditory hallucination”

        Hahaha. I love that one. Sweetie, if you heard the rock say that, you probably were hallucinating.

      • rrlo

        First of all, Gwyneth sounds so incredibly boring… out of all those quotes, there wasn’t a single interesting thing she had to say. Dimwitted is right!

        Secondly, she has a newsletter? Who is subscribing to this insanity?

    • Lilly

      well my eyes just rolled so far I think they might get stuck so there’s that

    • Mystik Spiral

      I think Gwynnie is too important to even have first world problems. What’s the next step up, elitist problems?

      • EX

        1% problems?

    • Bethany Ramos

      Man, I can’t stop liking her from A Perfect Murder in the 90s. Someone HALP!

      • candyvines

        Try to remember she was just ‘acting’ likable in that film.

      • Bethany Ramos

        But the 90s were really good to her!

      • candyvines

        They were! But that was before she thought anyone cared what she had to say. I just want her to shut up all the time.

      • K.

        Gwynnie’s wardrobe in that film is perfect. I mean, her wardrobe’s perfect most of the time, but that one I remember.

      • Robotic Socks

        The best movie is Seven. When Gwyn gets decapped.

        I wish all her movies end the same way.

      • Natasha B

        I kinda actually love that movie. It pretty much scared the hubs for life though. I sooooo knew what was in the box.

      • Bethany Ramos
      • Valerie

        Oh poor Brad!

      • Valerie

        Omg I legit love that movie.

    • SmrtGrl86

      God I’m so glad that Kevin Spacey decapitated that stupid twat at the end of Seven, oh spoiler alert btw.

      • Natasha B

        WHATS IN THE BOX

      • Maria Guido

        Oh my god. I’m crying right now. Of laughter – not because of the spoiler alert.

    • elle

      Ugh Gwyneth is one of those people that I like her acting but I just do my best to avoid reading any interviews/articles/gossip about her (this is not easy as I love celeb gossip). And she just sounds so ignorant in this quote. But to be fair her douchiness comes honest because have you ever read a Blythe Danner interview? Same nonsense, just different generations.

    • SA

      Geez, normally she just instigates an eye roll out of me, but this really DOES make me want to punch her in the face. I will. Next time I see her.

    • Kay_Sue

      I definitely don’t expect her to be a “normal” person (is anyone, really?) but I would greatly appreciate it if she would stop comparing herself to “normal” people and talking about how much more difficult her privileged existence is….

      • Robotic Socks

        We should call her Gwyneth PalTroll

      • Kay_Sue

        For realz. She does it perfectly.

    • Alene

      Oh no! NOT WISCONSIN!!! We have way too much cheese and beer for her highly refined system! ANYTHING BUT BRATWURST!!!!

      • Kay_Sue

        Damn. Now I want cheese, beer and bratwurst. Preferably all together. You think I could do a cheese, beer and bratwurst smoothie?

      • Alene

        It sounds like a stereotype, but I promise you that every single party hosted between the months of April and November features all three of these things in some form or another. It’s… it’s truly impossible to escape. And it is wonderful.

        And in reference to your question, yes.

    • Ursi

      I honestly get a big kick out of her. Her website makes me laugh and her lack of self-awareness pushes the whole thing into the realm of unintentional parody. It really does make me feel better about myself to read her insane recipes. I may be a chubby ice-cream junkie but at least I don’t have to eat some watery lentil soup to cleanse my soul or whatever is going on with that.
      Bless her, I hope she never gets a clue because she’s my big guilty celebrity pleasure.

    • Lisa

      she is anything but normal for most women. but the sad thing is there are so many women who probably want to be like her, specifically mothers.

    • The Kez

      She is so right. When I got up at 4.30 this morning to put a load of washing on and pump enough breast milk so that I could leave my baby with strangers while I go to the office for 10.5 hours I was thinking how much easier that is than being a gazillionaire who makes one movie a year.

    • Whocaniturnto

      If you can get past the “I hate her and why don’t I have a million dollars” attitude, she does make a good point about having routines. My morning routine may not be easy, but it is consistent from day to day. I may have a boring job that is long hours, but I get home at the same time every evening. I am never called on to randomly leave my children for weeks at a time. Having a routine is also important for children so that they can feel secure and know what going to happen from day to day. I know that not every job offers that – emergency personnel, military folks, and even movie stars – and I’m pretty grateful that I do have that routine.

      • Kel

        The idea that Gwyneth is “called on” is insane. She doesn’t have to work, first of all. She elects to be in movies, and she can pick which ones she wants to do. If she wants a more reasonable schedule or to shoot closer to home, then take a smaller role or work on a film that shoots in one of the 20 places she owns a home.

        Gwyneth also has enough power in Hollywood to first of all, demand that production schedule be adjusted for her. She may not always get what she wants, but larger stars can bargain in their contracts that they don’t work more than 3 days in a row, or they can make demands that they don’t want to shoot in Toronto, please move production to LA (Angelina Jolie required this when she shot a movie once). If she doesn’t want to be away with her kids, she can hire all the Spanish and French tutors she wants and pay for them to travel with her kids and homeschool them–she can probably do that on the studio’s dime, because many will pay for a rental residence on location that could surely accommodate her children. Someone at Gwyneth’s level could even send a private jet to pick up her children to and from school every day and fly them to wherever she is, if she so likes.

        I’m saying this as a film actress myself, only I am not the household name that Gwyneth is. Believe me when I tell you that Gwyneth belly-aching over being on location in Wisconsin for 2 weeks is a complete slap in the face to someone like me, who has no say in what my schedule is when I have to be on set. I might have to be on set for 14 hours one day, and then not working for the next 3, then working for another 2, then off for a day, on, off, on, off, for months. The difference is not only will the studio not consolidate MY days shooting like they will do for Gwyneth, they will also not pay me to fly home for the days I’m off. And unlike Gwyneth, I do not have private planes at my disposal to jet around the country when I want. Neither do the costume designers, the sound technicians, the grips, the set dressers, and really most everyone else besides Gwyneth who work in film and also have families to support. She may be in Wisconsin for 14 long days, but the boom operator is there not only for every long hour she is (holding a mic above her the whole time), but probably for weeks before and after she is done with her scenes. The boom operator is also away from his kids, and he doesn’t have the luxury of choosing whether or not he wants to work like she does.

        I also hate that whenever people want to defend Gwyneth Paltrow, they always pull the “well, you’re not blonde and beautiful and rich, so you are just jealous.” I am not jealous, I think that what she said was condescending and rude. To tell working parents that they don’t understand what it’s like to struggle when you are someone paid over $20 million for each movie and God-knows-what else on top of that for advertising and enorsements because you ELECT to be away from your kids for 14 days? OF COURSE people want to punch her.

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