Let’s all give it up for Maura Fussell, who from now on shall be known as our St. Patrick’s day she-ro for doing what another other woman would do when her man was thrown in the jail: take off all of her clothes and show up demanding to see him. I have gotten drunk before, but I have never stripped naked, nor been thrown in jail, and now I feel my youth has been totally wasted. The worst thing I have ever done is thrown up a lot and started crying for no reason. Now that I’m all old and responsible, I never even drink so much that I get hungover, so I have to admire the tenacity of a chick who not only gets totally blitzed, but strips naked to go find her man.
Police say Maura Fussell arrived at the magistrate’s office around 11:00 p.m. seeking to visit her husband, who had been arrested in Clarendon earlier that day. She was drunk, completely naked and refused to get dressed or leave in a cab, according to Arlington County Police spokesman Dustin Sternbeck.
I love that, not only did she refuse to leave, but she also refused to put clothing on. Fussell was arrested and charged with indecent exposure and public drunkenness. She was held in jail until sober. Which, ya know, makes sense because wandering around naked in March is never a fabulous idea, and for all we know she could have driven somewhere and killed someone with her car. I would pretty much pay cash money to see how they explained this one to their friends and family, and also to hear what she told her husband when he was released from jail. When she sobered up did she even remember the night before? Did she demand her clothing? I need more on this story. I can’t even imagine it, but I do know that I find the whole thing pretty epically hilarious.