• Wed, Mar 19 - 8:00 am ET

Teacher Supplied Students With Non-Alcoholic Beer Not Realizing It Actually Contains Alcohol

agecheck_logo_bottlesThe first thing I would like to get out of the way here is that I don’t think a teacher who doesn’t know nonalcoholic beer actually contains a small amount of alcohol should be allowed to be a teacher. I have zero interest in non-alcoholic beer and even I know that it contains alcohol. I don’t know why I know this fact, I just do. I assume most people know this. It’s not enough alcohol to get you crunk, it only contains 0.5 percent alcohol, but I think it’s sort of a thing everyone knows. Non-alcoholic booze actually have a teensy tiny amount of booze in it. And probably shouldn’t be served to fifth graders.

The teacher from Linden, Michigan allowed her elementary school students to sip O’Douls when they were learning about colonial times, as an example of things people drank back then when water may have not been safe to consume. One of the students brought the beverage in when they were studying life in the 1700′s. None of the students were forced to drink it, and no parents complained to the principal or teacher.

From Milive:

“I know the teacher and know her as being a very responsible person,” said Scott Maker, president of the Linden School Board. “I know there was no intent to expose anyone to harm, just poor thought in this situation.”

Linden Police Chief Scott Sutter said there have been no complaints to his department.

Linden schools are drug and alcohol-free zones and Koledo said he did not know if O’Doul’s beer would constitute a violation.

 

I think this is all just no harm, no foul. It’s sort of nice to see parents not freaking out over this situation and demanding the teacher’s head on a platter because their special snowflakes were exposed to non-boozy, non-delicious beverages. But I am surprised she didn’t know that it contains a mouse-sized amount of alcohol. Even people firmly against non-boozy-booze drinks like me know that.

If the teacher wanted to be more historically accurate, she should have just served the kids cider or else watered down real-booze, which I learned was served to kids during colonial times. I feel so smart now.

(Image: O’douls)

Share This Post:
  • Jallun-Keatres

    Yeah, I didn’t know it had alcohol in it either. I’ve never taken a drink of alcohol. I learned something new today. :L

    • pixie

      But if you read the bottle, it does say on it that it contains a tiny amount of alcohol. ;)
      Which makes it surprising why the teacher didn’t read the label.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      I didn’t even know there was such a thing as nonalcoholc beer until like 3 years ago lolol

    • pixie

      lol no worries.
      Alcohol isn’t sold in grocery stores in Ontario, so as a kid, going to grocery stores and wondering why there was beer in the same aisle as the coca cola and pepsi led to my parents telling me about non-alcoholic beer.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      Listen, I’m a booze expert. I also know nail polish remover contains alcohol. I am also a fan of watching Lock Up Raw so I could probably whip you guys up some booze in a toilet.

    • Valerie

      Mmmm toilet water cocktails. They would pair nicely with baby poop sausage.

    • Tinyfaeri

      Mmmm…. toilet brew…

  • Shelly Lloyd

    I did not know that non-alcoholic beer actually contains some alcohol. Not that I would ever consider serving non-alcoholic beer/drinks to minors. Especially in a school setting. I personally know parents who would be upset at an adult who would serve their child grape juice in a wine glass for fear of their child growing up to be a drunk.

    • Paul White

      …those parents are crazy parents though.

    • Shelly Lloyd

      Yes they are.

  • chickadee

    Here is more old-timey booze news….when historical sources refer to cider, they are usually referring to hard cider, which is also alcoholic.

    I am also glad that no one got all dickty about the accidental small-booze-fest. And I hate non-alcoholic beer so much that I never bothered to find out if there was alcohol in it. I am pretty sure that I would check, though, if an 11-year-old brought it to school.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I think there were two kinds, hard aged cider and like… the other shiz. I also learned there is something called tea water.

    • Shea

      True, but historically speaking, it was hard cider. Non-alcoholic cider, would have had the same issues as fresh water, i.e. it was full of nasties because refrigeration and pasteurization were not yet things. The American colonists initially had a tough time growing grain, and what they did grow they had to use to make bread, rather than beer. So they used apples, which there were plenty of, to make an acceptable alcoholic substitute.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      You should be schooling those kids!

    • Shea

      “Okay kids, everyone take a drink of this water I pulled out of the river yesterday and left in a bucket in my backyard overnight, where raccoons may or may not have used it as a bidet. Now, let’s learn about the symptoms of cholera, dysentery, and giardiasis!”

    • Kay_Sue

      That is hands-on teaching right there.

    • Shea

      This is why I’m only allowed to teach university students.

    • Kay_Sue

      You’d have been my favorite professor if you’d brought booze to class. I am all about multi-tasking. ;)

    • Lackadaisical

      Plus a lot of the ones that came from England set off for the new world from the south west where they are traditionally cider drinkers rather than beer drinkers, as are the west midlands and east Anglia. A lot of your place names can also be found on a map of England but the number that come from the cider drinking south west seems a lot to me.

    • Tea

      “Cider” anywhere else in the world is hard cider, I should know, I’m making a batch right now ;)

    • Shea

      Is cider brewing very difficult? I know enough about brewing beer to know it’s tricky. I love hard cider, it’s my favorite alcoholic beverage. It would be fun to try making it.

    • Tea

      I find it easier than beer, but the hard part is finding apple juice without Potassium Sorbate, because that will kill your yeasts.

    • Shea

      Interesting. There are a lot of apple orchards around here, and it’s pretty easy to find unpasteurized, untreated soft cider. Maybe I’ll try that in the fall.

    • Bunny Lou

      SEND SOME. Send it to Portland, just Portland. I’ll find it.

    • Bunny Lou

      Also, have you tried making mead?

    • pixie

      Mead is fantastic. I love mead. I tried it for the first time when I was 16 and was in Scotland (and my mom bought some to bring back to Canada ;) ). But it is SO fucking hard to find here. *sigh*

    • Tea

      I have a batch going right now, actually!

    • Lackadaisical

      There is a kind of cider that isn’t alcoholic? Isn’t that apple juice? I am aware that there are differences in the alcoholic content of normal cider and scrumpy but all cider I have ever seen requires the buyer to be over 18 (i.e. legal drinking age where I live) and will get you drunk fast. Is there some kind of cultural difference going on where you use the same word but for different things?

    • Shea

      Around here (Quebec) “soft” cider refers to unfiltered apple juice, sometimes hot and spiced. It’s thicker and cloudier than apple juice, but I think it’s basically the same thing.

    • Lackadaisical

      I have never heard of soft cider or apple juice with spice in it. The cloudier stuff is still called apple juice (or pressed apple juice I guess). Spiced apple juice sounds lovely

    • Shea

      It’s a very nice autumn drink. You simmer it with whole cloves, some nutmeg, and a cinnamon stick, maybe add some sugar or maple syrup if you like it sweeter (or, if it’s only for grownups, some rum or whisky).

    • darras

      Oh it is! My mum makes it on bonfire night for those in my family who are allergic to alcohol. As Shea says there – with cloves and cinnamon and a bit of water. ALMOST makes me forsake the mulled cider it does, almost..

    • Tea

      In North America (US Mostly) unfiltered apple juice is sold as cider. In the US, hard cider isn’t a common drink.

    • Lackadaisical

      In the UK cider is very popular but is often a summer tipple (we don’t chill our beer unless it is larger imports so chilled cider is the perfect drink for hot weather). My husband tends to drink the fancy mixes of apple and other fruit ciders which seem popular at the moment.

    • Rachel Sea

      Different states have different rules defining what is cider and what is juice. Apple cider is either from the first press of apples so that it is more tart than juice, or it is unfiltered and unpasteurized press.

    • ted3553

      you USers really should drink more hard cider. It’s fantastic on a warm day

  • Kay_Sue

    Well, I am glad that no one is demanding the teacher’s head, but I am surprised she didn’t read the label, which kind of says, “Hey, yeah, about the non-alcoholic part…it’s mostly true but not entirely…”

    • Sexy Robotic Arms Dealer

      Now the teacher can’t ever scold her students for not reading the instructions.

    • Kay_Sue

      Yeah, she really got herself in a catch-22 there.

    • Sexy Robotic Arms Dealer

      I hop she learns from this experience. I could see some parents brewing with mistrust for her. But I’m glad that Coors-ller heads have prevailed.

    • Kay_Sue

      You think you’re punny.

    • Valerie

      Beer with me here- I sense some bottled up frustration that had come to a head.

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      Did hiding from CNN force you to change your name AGAIN? You’re so terribly sneaky, I almost couldn’t figure it out :)

  • EX

    I think serving disgusting N/A beer would serve as an excellent deterrent for these kids. Pretty sure if that had been my first taste of booze I would never have touched the stuff again.

    • Alex Lee

      “Your first drink ain’t gonna be no peach schnapps.”

    • Valerie

      Except, ew. He has sweaty zombie apocolypse balls from never showering and he’s 20 years older than Beth. GROSSSSS.

    • Kay_Sue

      At least this week’s episode was better, I thought! ;)

    • Valerie

      I actually haven’t watched it yet! My husband is tiling our kitchen floor this week (shoot me now) and I have been his little assistant so I have not watched TV for a few nights now. Glad to hear this week wasn’t too bad, though. I am so losing faith in that show!

    • Kay_Sue

      It restored itself back to probationary status in my esteem this week. It’s still on thin ice, but if it keeps going, I’ll be impressed.

      BUT…..I won’t spoil it. I promise!

    • Valerie

      :-) I know you won’t! I will probably catch up sometime this weekend. We stayed up sooo late last night doing the floor that I plan to go to bed as soon as the kids are asleep tonight. DIY remodeling can suck it!

    • pixie

      I have to download it because I don’t get the channel and for a while I thought there were no downloads online. Silly me forgot that they split the season and they’re still on season 4 and not season 5. So I haven’t seen any of the new episodes since it started back up due to lack of time (I half-watch movies when I work, but only ones that I’ve seen a bunch of times so they’re just background noise and I don’t actually have to pay attention).

      But yeah, before the break, I was close to giving it up.

    • Kay_Sue

      The last two weeks were pretty rough…I very nearly gave up, and I am pretty forgiving to shows (and books) because I HAVE to follow them to the end and see how they wind everything up. But they rebounded well, I thought. Muscle through the rough parts!! ;)

    • pixie

      Haha, ok I’ll keep that in mind ;)

    • Sam Inoue

      So much agreement! Sad, but good. This season is a little aimless.

    • Kay_Sue

      It is aimless. I think the strength of this last episode was delving into the moral and ethical complexities of the post-apocalyptic world. It did that beautifully. I can forgive the continuation of aimless wandering in light of good storytelling.

    • Sam Inoue

      Yeah I completely agree, there was a lot more power in the last episode, certainly reminds me again why I like the show. My niece and I actually discovered the show last summer and watched it ridiculously fast, I don’t know how missed it for years, guess I normally don’t like zombies.

  • Tea

    I think the ginger beer (which is not beer, just very hot ginger soda) I brew or my rum cake has a higher ABV than that.

    Dumb, sure, but pretty harmless.

  • Momma425

    I’m glad none of the parents are being douchy about it, but I do think that the teacher should read the label before serving just about anything to kids. If not for alcoholic purposes, for food allergy purposes.

    As a side note, dad bought me non-alcoholic beer when I was 11 or 12 because I expressed interest in trying his beer. I was so grossed out and to this day am not a huge beer drinker (wine on the other hand…..).

  • auntiea

    Well, a student brought it in, and according to Michigan law it is illegal for anyone under 18 to purchase non-alcoholic beer so I’m assuming a parent purchased it for their child? Not that this makes the teacher innocent, but it would mean at least one parent was aware of/ok with what happened. Still, not the smartest idea.

  • wonderstruck

    I will confess that I did not know that! Although I’ve never bought it, and I’d imagine that if I was picking some up for 5th graders I’d double-check the label/ingredients.

  • http://www.ambiencechaser.com/ Elizabeth Licata

    I’m so glad no one freaked out. Non-alcoholic beer has a bit of alcohol in it, but you can’t actually get drunk off it. I once watched a competitive eater drink 60 in half an hour in an attempt to get his BAC over the legal limit on non-alcoholic beer. It didn’t work. You’ve never seen a human being so disappointed to pass a breathalizer test.

  • Mary

    Who cares? And this writer says it’d be better to give kids real boose with water? :-/

    • Kay_Sue

      Yeah…about that…

  • Magrat

    I didn’t know that it it had alcohol. I’m not surprised, but I didn’t know.

  • darras

    There is actually a type of non alcoholic beer that has no alcohol in it. A range of them actually in Norway (and I think England has a few as well? Bavaria is supposed to be 0%). They’re brewed in a different way that totally avoids the alcohol process, but in my opinion do not really taste like beer anyway..

  • Angela

    Lol, with my conservative Mormon upbringing I hardly know anything about regular beer so I really did have no idea it had alcohol. Honestly though, even if it did have no alcohol whatsoever it seems like supremely bad judgement. Kind of like I would never dare send candy cigarettes to my son’s class so that the kids could pretend to smoke. I feel like there’s pretty much bound to be parents who will be upset over it. I’m really surprised that in this case there wasn’t at least one outraged parents demanding blood.

  • DeanaCal

    Okay so if nobody complained, how did this even get in the news in the first place? Or come to the attention of the police?

    • itpainsme2say

      Thats what I was wondering

  • Linzon

    Fun fact: a local brewery recently started making ginger ale and root beer. Because of our weird liquor laws, because it was made in a brewery it has to be labeled as having a ’0.5% alcohol content’ even though there’s no alcohol in it.

  • Caitlin Burrows

    I get where she was going with this, but she should have done more research before going ahead with something like this. She also should have brought in apple cider to share with students.

  • Larkin

    I actually didn’t know that non-alcoholic beer had a little bit of alcohol in it. Though I still think I would have checked before serving it to kids rather than just taking a student’s word on it. I guess it makes sense, though… decaf coffee has a tiny bit of caffeine in it as well.

  • SusannahJoy

    Oh man, those things were the bane of my waitressing life’s existence. Yes, sir, I do need to see your ID, I know it says non-alcoholic in the name, but the law thinks differently (because, as you pointed out, it’s not actually NON alcoholic), and no, you cannot give it to your teenager. UGH!

  • Heather

    Not gonna lie. I wasn’t aware that non-alcoholic beer contained alcohol. I would hope I would have read the label to see what was in it, but I can’t say I definitely would have.