• Wed, Mar 19 - 6:00 pm ET

12 Sad Sack #MomLife Tweets That Redefine Mommy Martyr

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Sometimes being a mom is so HARD. Hashtags used appropriately on Twitter are also really HARD. When you mix the two, what do you get? You have a perfect storm of mommy martyrdom on your hands.

I personally like searching for mom-specific hashtags because it churns up some of the funniest shit. You may find moms bitching about their crazy kids or whining about life’s daily stresses or waxing poetic about the beauty of God’s lil’ miracles. I’m not saying I’m above it; I just find it utterly entertaining.

If you don’t believe me, just take a moment to peruse these super amazing #momlife tweets written by real-life mommy martyrs. If you’re questioning if you are a mommy martyr, then you probably are not. I love complaining with the best of them, but mommy martyrs take the “sad sack mom” status to a whole new level.

A regular day filled with baby shit and endless crying becomes the day from hell in social media. A night spent nursing a restless teething baby becomes an instant advertisement for how hard undocumented #momlife really is.

Here’s a little secret from one mom to another: #momlife isn’t really that hard, but it can be annoying. You may be able to rein in your frustration with a healthy outlet, like yoga or venting to a trusted friend. Or, you can follow in the footsteps of these mommy martyrs and take to Twitter so that everyone can understand what your #misunderstood #momlife is all about:

1. Moms’ Signature Perfume.

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2. Moms Will Never Sleep In Again.

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3. Daddy Always Wins.

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4. Moms Never Shower Alone.

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5. Mom Is Synonymous With Bodily Fluids.

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6. Super Happy Fantastic Mom Declaration!

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7. Moms Clearly Have No Life.

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8. A Mother’s Love Knows No Bounds.

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9. A Mother’s Work Is Never Done.

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10. #LoveMyBoys

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11. Moms Never Get A Break.

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12. Moms Really NEVER Get A Break.

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(Image: NotarYES/Shutterstock)

You can reach this post's author, Bethany Ramos, on twitter.
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  • girlindisguise

    Watching Netflix while my son drives tractors on the cats. #momlife

    And number 6 has an unfortunate typo :/

    • Elisa Probert

      Cats make excellent tractor tracks.

    • Rowan

      Also landing pads for Lego spaceships.

    • http://ichasekids.com/ Litterboxjen

      And number 6 has an unfortunate typo :/

      Are we sure it’s a typo and not just a Freudian slip? :)

  • LiteBrite

    Actually, I’m going to get behind #3. Whenever I go out of town, kid sleeps in until 7-8 a.m. But does he do that when I’m home? No. Instead, his little active butt is awake at 6 a.m.

    What’s up with that? I seriously want to know.

    • Véronique Houde

      he’s just so excited to see you!

    • LiteBrite

      I just wish he’d be more excited at 9 a.m.

    • Emily A.

      Same here, but it’s weekend/school days. We don’t even tell them which day is coming next, but… THEY KNOW.

      It’s creepy.

    • Linzon

      My kids are 3 and 11 months and are also somehow able to differentiate between work days (7am) and weekend days (6am). Baby witchcraft.

  • Rachel Sea

    “What shall we name our son so as to ensure he gets the shit kicked out of him?”

    “Hmm, how about “Bravery”?”

    • Bethany Ramos

      Hahah Bravery definitely gave me pause on that one!

    • noodlestein

      There is not even a nickname that could make ‘Bravery’ less tragic. It’s just all Bravery all the time! Poor little scrap.

    • Alene

      I know someone who has a son with this as a middle name. Not as bad, but they use it all the time, like “AND DID YOU NOTICE HIS MIDDLE NAME IS BRAVERY?”

    • Williwaw

      Thanks to his mother’s love of social media, Bravery will also be nicknamed “Peepeehair”.

    • Lackadaisical

      Bravery will grow up to be an accountant who struggles to be taken seriously in the office once they learn his name and whose idea of a thrill packed weekend is a trip to the station with his cagoule and thermos for a bit of train spotting.

    • Rachel Sea

      He will, however, win prizes for his inspirational sayings, done in needlepoint.

    • Ptownsteveschick

      Needlepoint is a pretty badass hobby #TBH #HDY

  • CMJ
    • noodlestein

      I’d change my name to Avery. Rough!

    • Lackadaisical

      What we don’t see is that Bravery also has an unloved twin called Cowardice. His mother doesn’t love him so much so he never makes it to the tweets.

    • girlindisguise

      My husband legitimately wanted to name our son Wheeler. I’m glad everyone we know talked him down from it.

    • G.S.

      I think they wanted to name the kid Merida, but then decided that they were the kind of people who’d get tired way too fast of people asking if she’s named for the movie character (and named her for the character trait instead), or they ended up having a boy and figured that Bravery was a good male-version of the name.

      Or maybe their is no reason or justification, and they just suck at giving names to people.

  • Mystik Spiral

    “Ugh Daymon threw up on the carpet. It wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t miss the linoleum by 6 inches.” #momlife #vomitygoodness

    “Holland just whacked Daymon in the head cuz he was sitting on mommy’s lap.” #momlife #siblingbully

    “Holland woke me at 5am crying for breakfast AGAIN!” #momlife #whycantusleeptil8

    “It’s impossible to vacation when I don’t have car space for all the kids’ stuff! But I can’t find someone I trust to keep them while I’m away…” #momlife #woeismom

    “I spent Saturday afternoon digging Holland’s favorite toy out from under the couch. It’s almost like she’s throwing it under there on purpose.” #momlife #pinkfuzzymouseisnothatspecial #ifyouhadthumbsyoucouldscoopitoutyourself

    PS – I don’t have human kids. Holland and Daymon are my cats. See, I can do it too… :p

    • Elisa Probert

      I wanna play!

      “River and Kaylee couldn’t get along this morning, and while fighting over breakfast, K bit R’s foot!” #momlife #stopbitingyoursister

      “River shoved Kaylee out of the bed. Good thing I was close enough to catch her!” #momlife #savingtheday

      “So sweet…Kaylee and River are singing each other to sleep!” #momlife #deafgirlscansingtoo

      River and Kaylee are ferrets. LOL And Kaylee is deaf with nooooo equilibrium or sense of direction at all.

      Obligatory ferret photo because I must spam everyone with my fuzzy loves. (white one is Kaylee, brown with blaze is River)

      https://scontent-a-sea.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1.0-9/1609828_697093256997787_1795322418_n.jpg

    • Bethany Ramos

      awwwwwww

    • Sara

      Are they named after the Firefly characters?

    • Elisa Probert

      Yes, they are. River is also kinda named for a Doctor Who character. If I ever add a third, it will be called Jayne, regardless of gender, and I shall knit it a tiny ugly hat. LOL

    • Sara

      I adore Jayne!!!! And River Song is one of the best characters on DW. When I get a Corgi I’m naming it The Doctor and I’ll have a Sphinx cat named River (all of my adult goals are based around breed specific animals because I’m obviously still a toddler)

    • Elisa Probert

      The Doctor would absolutely be a Corgi. Well, Ten or Eleven would. I’m reserving judgement on Twelve…he looks more like an owl. Lol

      When River and I went to the ferret rescue to find her a friend, I hoped to find a male and name him Simon since he’d be her brother and all. But I’m really glad Kaylee picked us, she has so much love inside she can’t keep it in. Love my Firefly girls to pieces!

    • Sara

      Yeshhhhh and my Corgi is going to have a little Fez and bowtie and little suit! And Twelve reminds me of an Irish Wolfhound. (I assign dog and cat breeds to people and it’s a strange strange hobby).

  • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

    Duct taped my kid to the wall, drinking some wine #MomLife

    • Bethany Ramos

      Where was your tweet when I needed you??

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      This was not the tweet you deserve, but the tweet you need…#BatManMommyLife

    • Bethany Ramos

      Hahahaha

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      Left my baby with a homeless man, cuz I gotta get my swerve on. #YOLO #MomLife

    • Robotic Socks

      I can see I am no longer needed on M’ish

      Frances will be taking my place for (awesomely) snarky posts

      LOL

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      You’re not allowed to leave. Mommyish is like a street gang. You’re in for life. You even get a M-Dawg tattoo that we will personally slice off if you betray us. Also, there are cookies!!!

    • Robotic Socks

      Cookies are great, but it’s impossible to take off the tattoo across my chest that says “Kay’s Bitch”

      :(

    • AnastasiaMcNally

      At what age is it okay to start duct-taping kids to walls? Mine is 7 months, do you think that’s old enough?

    • CMJ

      Yes. Just don’t shake the baby.

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      Oh, you’re totally a late starter. I always suggest starting from birth.

    • Rachel Sea

      As long as the tape supports their head, you can start from birth.

    • Robotic Socks

      Duct tape leaves a bad residue and sticks to the hair a lot.

      I would use masking tape for the head area.

    • Rachel Sea

      I actually prefer gaffer’s tape. It’s just as strong as duct tape, but the adhesive won’t melt from body heat, it leaves no residue, and it doesn’t damage paintwork.

    • Lackadaisical

      It is never to late to try duct taping children out of harms’ (and your) way. Even older children will soon figure out how to be restrained with tape. If your child does not immediately accept the duct taping (for his or her own good) I find the best way to ease them into it is for you to drink more wine.

    • Andrea

      Make sure the tape holds their head up; then you can start at birth

    • Andrea

      You win @momlife

    • Ptownsteveschick

      I decided to go with my native american heritage and just strap her in a cradleboard hanging from a tree. Its her outdoorsy time!

  • Jennifer Freeman

    My son’s poop only happens in blow out form #poosplosion #somuchlaundry #heleakedonmypants #momlife

    • Jennifer Freeman

      GD it! I knew I was going to jinx myself. It’s all fun and games until it really happens. #Ineedthehosetocleanthismess

    • Robotic Socks

      PUAHAHAHAA nice

  • MommyK

    Where were Bravery’s extended family when he/she was born to say, “OMFG! You can’t name your child Bravery!!”?

    • Kay_Sue

      I really feel like they failed this kid…

    • Kay_Sue

      I really feel like they failed this kid…

    • keelhaulrose

      I’d bet favorite wine sippy they not only didn’t say anything in protest, they praised how “yoonique” the name was.

  • Lackadaisical

    Strangely they all seemed to say exactly the same thing:

    “I am bored and without adult company. No-one has complimented me (for hours) on how much I do for my kids and that I rock at this mum business. Look at me! #momlife”

  • Kay_Sue

    These make me not want to be a mother. What’s the return policy on these things? #MomLife

    • Rachel Sea

      You break it, you buy it.

    • Kay_Sue

      Damn. I’m screwed.

    • Robotic Socks

      That’s what she said.

    • Kay_Sue

      After I typed it, I thought, “Hey, that’s what got me into this mess” and had a good chuckle to myself.

    • Robotic Socks

      O_o think alike…

  • Ptownsteveschick

    Good god, by the time my kid gets to bed some nights I am thankful I don’t have to see her face for 8 hours. Look at pictures of her? No thank you. 8pm-12am is Mommy silently stares at tv while knitting and drinking wine time. No where in there is looking at pictures of my kid. Like, why doesn’t that mom just go in and watch them sleep…..oh god, she totally does.

  • itpainsme2say

    I want to know Bravery’s last name b/c if its Van/Von something (Doom would be best) or Mc something, I could get behind having that name. Strong last names can turn anyone into a super hero/villain.

  • Sam Inoue

    Am I the only one who doesn’t feel like they are always covered with bodily fluids? I see all these posts of mommy martyrs talking about always smelling like pee and poop, I mean I probably did sometimes but I don’t think that was a part of my #momlife. I guess this is one of those times I am grateful that I inherited a 7 year old right before my first was born so I could leave the girls sitting together for showering and such…Plenty of these are relatable, I think I might be to much of a control freak to ever let anyone know these sorts of things.

    • http://ichasekids.com/ Litterboxjen

      No, I never dealt much with kids/babies before my own, and her bodily fluids ending up on me is very minimal. My former manager was a bit of a mommy martyr and would come to work with snot on her pants at hip height from her kids. Even back then I thought that was disgusting and insane.

      (Full disclosure: my kid wasn’t a spitter-upper and has basically never thrown up (thank #deity), but aside from the odd nose wiping gone astray or a messy diaper that ended up on my hands a bit as I was cleaning, I have been quite baby-bodily-fluid free.

    • Sam Inoue

      Yeah I guess we should count ourselves lucky to have kids that don’t spit up much :) Even when I have gotten snot on my pants, which happens, I wipe it off. Damn I am coming off mean today!

    • http://ichasekids.com/ Litterboxjen

      Not mean in the least, simply not gross like my former manager. ;)

  • Buffy

    Can someone explain “sad sack” to me? Is it better or worse compared to a “whiny mom”? Sounds a bit depressive to me (like sitting around with a sad face).
    I don’t know this english term, so I ‘d really appreciate some help. (Love new phrases and slang, just learned “adorkable”. English is awesome!)

    • Lackadaisical

      It’s a term used a lot where I am and kind of means mopey, miserable and mardy. It would also kind of mean inept and the kind of person that things always goes wrong for and who will tell you all about it with a long face. I would think of someone a bit like Eeyore for sad sack, while I would think of someone a bit more shrill for whiny.

    • Buffy

      Oh great, thank you so much, you gave me vivid images! Now I really know what it’s all about. Funny thing, I already know a person who is absolutely a sad sack the way you describe it—now I have a secret name for her *evilgrin*.
      :-))

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      or if you’re Irish, a sack also basically means d***head lol

    • Buffy

      Oh my, thank you, I am laughing so hard right now! I better remember this when I visit Dublin someday…;-)

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      lol I wouldn’t, you’ll have someone shove you into the River Liffey haha!

  • whiteroses

    First of all, who names their kids “Bravery” and “Colson”? Secondly, get off of Twitter and go take a shower. Thirdly, that whole “everyone else is taking vacations and I’m ordering cloth diapers” thing comes with their territory.

    • Jennifer Freeman

      At one point, my husband was seriously lobbying for naming our kid Cyber. I wish I were kidding. We both work in IT, but come on. Cyber?

    • whiteroses

      I have a dear friend who genuinely wanted to name his kid Ace Danger.
      Ace Danger.

      He was really pissed that his wife filled out the birth certificate without him knowing (the kids name ended up being William Edward after both their fathers) but when we all reminded him that the baby wasn’t going to be a baby until the end of time and that he was, in fact, being an idiot, he calmed down. They now have a dog named Ace, which is fair imho.

    • Jennifer Freeman

      Ace Danger? Oh man. Why does that sound porn-y to me? I am going to mention this name to my husband. I am pretty certain he will think it is cool!

  • aCongaLine

    #5s child’s name is Bravery!? #yourkidwillresentyouforever

  • may1787

    Resisted the disgusting urge to name my child something horrendous. Like Bravery. #MomLife