Before I had kids, I had a lot of silly misconceptions about parenting that I subconsciously absorbed from sitcoms, reality shows, and low-rated romantic comedies. I thought that once you became a mom, you’d have a magnetic pull via some kind of internal GPS to other mom friends in your area.
This magnetic pull would obviously attract you to other moms with similar interests and snarky senses of humor and the same love of a soy latte on a rainy afternoon. You and your cool mom posse would run the playground, while keeping a relaxed eye on your gang of kids, until it was time to head home for an afternoon margarita before dinner.
Now that I’m a mom of two, I’ve learned the hard way that this mom fantasy is a big steaming pile of crap. I am not a lonely, sad mom who sits in my house all day watching Netflix and wiping tears from my eyes. I do have friends, but these are friends that I had before I had children. Some have kids now, and some don’t. We still hang out when we have time in our busy adult lives.
I tried to make mom friends, really, I did. But my kids aren’t in school yet, just in daycare, so the mom well is pretty dry. I even considered joining a local mom group to go on playdates with moms in my area. But when I realized that I got my fulfillment from working at home and spending the rest of my free time with my kids, there weren’t enough hours in the day to sign up for a weekly playgroup.
The moms that I have encountered are very mom-like. This may be par for the course, but I don’t have many shared interests with moms who craft and talk about boring mom stuff. I’m not trying to knock the mom stereotype, but many of these things simply aren’t that fascinating to me.
As far as I know, the cool mom friend fantasy doesn’t exist (outside of Mommyish). I was hoping to find a bad ass, witty mom to go to happy hour with and meet at the park on the weekend. I’m not sad that I haven’t found this mystical mom friend just yet, and I may keep looking. I’m just surprised that the fun mom unicorn is so hard to find.
(Image: Ondine C/Shutterstock)