• Fri, Mar 14 - 1:00 pm ET

10 Rebellious New Mamas Who Refused To Wait Six Weeks For Sex

shutterstock_86103877The moment you pop out a baby is the perfect time to get nailed, right? WRONG. Your doctor will tell you as soon as you have safely delivered your bundle of joy and snuggled and learned to breast-feed that you need to close your legs for a minimum of six weeks postpartum. No sex, no way, no how—for six long weeks.

If you’re not ready for sexy time after having a baby, the general rule is to listen to your body and take your time. Many women report having sex for the first time several months after giving birth—once they feel more comfortable and everything has healed properly.

I was personally fine with the six week rule because I was pretty tired after having a baby. But I know other women feel quite the opposite. Some women aren’t able to have sex while pregnant or are too tired to give it a halfhearted try. Other ladies are just so pumped to have that baby out of their body that they want to bump uglies as soon as they are medically able.

Clearly, not every new mom follows the six-weeks-no-sex postpartum rule. Here are 10 rebellious new moms who wanted to get it on ASAP after having a baby, medical restrictions be damned:

1. Sneaky Sex Before C-Section Checkup.

sex3

2. Six Weeks Is Just A Guideline.

sex13. Doing The Deed The Day Of Hospital Release.

sex104. URGENT Sex At One Week.

sex95. Possibly Pregnant At Two Weeks Postpartum.

sex66. Three Weeks Is More Like It.

sex27. “Awesome” Sex At Three To Four Weeks.

sex8

8. Dry And Stretchy Sex At Five Weeks: Ruh Roh!

sex49. Five Weeks, Stitches, And Lots Of Lube.

sex510. Gentle Sex And Postpartum Surfing.

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 (ImageNinaMalyna/Shutterstock)

You can reach this post's author, Bethany Ramos, on twitter.
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  • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter
    • Bethany Ramos

      So gentle, so erotic. LOLOLOL

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      #stretchyanddry

    • Bethany Ramos

      #ruhroh

  • SA

    Um no. I only had a few stitches, but I wouldn’t even LOOK at my vagina for about 5 weeks much less think about letting someone else take a feel. My husband who was there for the whole labor was VERY willing to wait….I think it was about 10 weeks for us. Sex wasn’t that comfortable for a WHILE after that either. These girls be crazy.

  • Metsy

    While I was very…excited for intimacy, I waited the full 6 weeks. I’m not taking chances after the c-section.

  • keelhaulrose

    I’m going to play one-up here. My grandma said she caught her sister and brother in law at it in the hospital the day after. My great-aunt, who not the embarrassed type, not only doesn’t deny it, she looked like a tomato when it was brought up.

    • keelhaulrose

      And, I’m sure this will be no surprise, none of her children were more than 11 months apart.

    • MaebykittyRN

      The next day???? Dear lord. Ouch ouch ouch.

    • Paul White

      owie! I know my wife was…eager…but not for a couple weeks. Too sore.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I’m gonna one up this and add the link in the links above, just you wait http://www.mommyish.com/2013/01/09/sex-delivery-room/

    • Bethany Ramos

      Whatttttt I just can’t understand this.

  • http://mother--bored.tumblr.com/ Aimee Ogden

    Just use lots of lube and relax! Yup, I think that’s standard medical advice for avoiding serious uterine infections from an open cervix.

  • Valerie

    Yeah….I’m thinking the risk of uterine infection would make having sex before the 6-week mark rather unluky.

  • jsterling93

    My husband and I couldn’t wait. 3 weeks after my c section we were at it. I told the doctor and she said if it didn’t hurt there was nothing to worry about except pregnancy. I had to take a preg test before she would give me an IUD.

  • That_Darn_Kat

    I didn’t tear with either of my kids, and the only reason I waited 4 weeks after my daughter is because I was bleeding too much before that. With my son, my doc recommended 4 weeks, but said I could start as soon as I was ready, again because I didn’t tear. We made it 3 weeks with that one.

  • Lilly

    I kind of get this — I am pretty sure it was hormones but I was super horny about 3-4 weeks postpartum. That being said there are alternatives that don’t run the risk of infections, pain etc. be creative people.

    • Harriet Meadow

      Yeah, my husband and I were both SUPER horny about 2 weeks after the baby came. But we waited – I’d had both a hard labor and a c-section, and my body was not ready (though I did take care of him a few times). But once we got the go ahead, we went ahead (needed lots of lube, though; breastfeeding made me really dry).

  • Laura

    No way! I need TIME after I have my babies before I am even interested or have energy for sex LOTS of time. I remember telling hubby that we had better try to do it before the 3 month f/u appt b/c I didn’t want to seem lame. But honestly, I wasn’t even into it then. C-section+New baby exhaustion+breastfeeding dryness= MAJOR dry spells. MAJOR!

    • Bethany Ramos

      DRY is the operative word here – I understand. :)

  • Ash

    Ugh, this gives me the heebie jeebies. Of course my tearing was so bad I didn’t get cleared until almost 4 months pp anyway

  • Kelly

    I’ve never heard of the six week rule. We couldn’t have sex for months because of complications from labor but no one ever gave me a timetable on when we could have sex. I was just told that if I felt ready and it didn’t hurt, I was fine.

    • SA

      The six week rule generally comes from that being the time frame that you go see your doctor postpartum….most docs like to check you out and then give the ok.

    • Kelly

      Yeah, I didn’t experience that at all. I saw my doctor once a week after I gave birth and each time he just asked if we were having sex again yet and told me as long as I felt ready and it didn’t hurt, it was fine.

  • Ptownsteveschick

    I was super horny after my daughter was born, but there was no way in hell we were doing anything while I still had my tons of stitches. The day before my 6 week check up we did it, but it wasn’t that great because I was pretty scared still, so next time I will probably just wait the whole time anyway. I guess none of these women are into bjs.

    • That_Darn_Kat

      I gave my husband a ton of bjs after my second baby (first was with an ex)…but after a while, your jaw just hurts and, honestly, I wanted a little somethin’ somethin’ too…

      But, like I said in my post, I didn’t tear and didn’t have stitches, so I’m sure that factored in a bunch.

    • Alanna Jorgensen

      I gave in when I did precisely because I was tired of all the bj’s I had been giving. =P

    • Shadow Guest

      I’m one of those who is totally not into bj’s. I’d throat punch my man if he asked for one while I was still not up for any kind of hanky panky. But if you ladies can then woo hoo! :)

  • http://www.max-logic.com/ maxfab

    OMG. My babies are 15 months old and I still have zero desire to um….break the seal. God love these horny ladies!

  • Sammie

    Here’s a dumb question…if you have a C-section, do you still bleed for 3-6 weeks? (lochia)

    • Kara

      Yes

    • Kendra

      3-6, or maybe 9…you know, whatever! I wish it would’ve only been 3 though!

    • jane

      Not a dumb question – I didn’t know that either.

    • WriterLady

      I did not with my C-section for anywhere near that long. Only 9 or 10 days maybe (at max) post-delivery, but those first 3 or 4 days were extremely heavy.

    • Suzie

      I had a C-Section 3 1/2 weeks ago….I am still bleeding. I can’t imagine having sex right now, I feel pretty good, but my belly is still sore and I haven’t slept more than 3 hours straight since my baby’s arrival. Sex is the last thing on my mind. I told my hubby 6 weeks, AND no bleeding, AND need to be on some foolproof birth control before sexy-time can happen.

    • Harriet Meadow

      It probably depends. If you go through quite a bit of labor before the c-section, and your cervix and everything opens, I would imagine it’d be about the same as a vaginal birth (it was for me; it lasted almost the whole six weeks after). But I wonder if it’s the same for planned c-sections that don’t involve any dilation? Maybe it’s just a “baby’s out, time to bleed” thing.

    • Jayamama

      When you have your period, you are barely dilated, just enough to let the blood out. It has nothing to do with dilation.

    • Harriet Meadow

      Ah, ok. Thanks for the clarification!

    • Jayamama

      The lochia is the rest of the tissue left in the uterus coming out, as well as blood from the area where the placenta was. When the placenta detatches, it basically leaves an open wound which has to heal, and there will be bleeding until it does. Both of those happen no matter how you give birth. However, breastfeeding releases oxytocin, which causes uterine contractions. The contractions close the wound faster and also causes the blood to come out faster, so if you breastfeed, you may have fewer weeks of lochia.

      I’ve never had a C-Section, but I can imagine it might be easier to resume sex earlier, if you use a position that is easy on the tummy, since the vagina is not as sore. Of course, that’s assuming you even want to. There’s nothing that can turn a person off faster than the memory of labor and taking care of a newborn around the clock.

  • Natasha B

    We did at about 4 weeks post, but slowly and lubed the crap out of that business and I was still uncomfortable. Plus I was totes terrified of ‘Irish twins’.

  • middleofnowheremom

    I had precipitous labor and a 4th degree episiotomy with my oldest. It took months to just heal physically and emotionally and several months after that before I was able to follow through with sexy time. We tried, but it had to stop because it hurt.

  • Kendra

    Okay, so I had a C-section, and I would just like to go on record in stating that I was very disappointed that I couldn’t have a bath for two weeks. Like, devastated. As for sex, just no. My stomach looked like a sack of old oranges and my abs felt like death. I was perfectly fine to wait well beyond that 6 week deadline.

  • jane

    Oh dear god. I wanted NOTHING to do with sex for a good long time (well longer than that 6 weeks) with my daughter. I’m normally a get-up-and-at-em kinda girl (even more than my husband) but having a baby hurt like a motherfucker. No thank you. It took a LONG time to get back in the saddle (really things didn’t get totally back to normal until after baby #2, although obviously things happened before then!)

    Honestly, reading these makes me feel like I’m not even from the same planet as these women, let alone the same species.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Yeahhhhh I cannot understand any of it.

  • Jallun-Keatres

    I thought for sure I’d wait like 6 months before having sex again (because PAIN) but I ended up surprising myself and my husband by getting boned about 5 days shy of 6 weeks! Just call me Jallun Keatres the Rebel XD

    • Bethany Ramos

      BAMF!

    • Jallun-Keatres

      lolol
      Also, I dunno if the midwife stitched me bigger or what but sexytimes actually STOPPED hurting after MK was born. I had/have no dryness at all either. My husband is very happy. :P

  • Jenna Nieves

    I just had a baby 2 weeks ago. Reading this made me throw up a little bit in my mouth. I am not ready.

    • TwentiSomething Mom

      I waited 10 weeks. I felt gross and fat and had stitches; who wants to have sex when you feel like that?

    • Bethany Ramos

      I am pretty sure I was in the same time frame. After 2 months, I was like, I guess… :/

  • Lee

    It was at least 6 months before I would let my husband get anywhere near me. Although during pregnancy and for about a year sex was pretty painful. My lady bits were not happy to jump back in the saddle.

  • TwentiSomething Mom

    Ok, this is going to sound gross, but I can only imagine the amount of bleeding that occurs if you have sex too soon.

    • Andrea

      I was bleeding like a slaughtered pig for weeks even without the sex.

  • Alanna Jorgensen

    Sigh, now I have to admit I only waited two and a half weeks. It was nice to be close to him but it felt really odd. My stitches were healed by then and we were very careful, but I do hear that it is easier to get pregnant right after a baby because everything is still kind of open and ready. I remember my mother said her doctor told her the 6 week thing was more of a guideline and an “out” for the woman to stave off her man’s advances if she is not ready.

    • CleaK

      When I went in for my 6 wk after having my son when discussing postnatal birth control my OB told me that I’d be surprised at how often people got pregnant again right after giving birth. He said he’s had one patient that had discovered she was pregnant again at the 6 wk-this happened to her twice! I cannot even imagine.

  • jordana

    Hahaha omg! I need to be more careful on random forums so they don’t end up in a post like this lol….and I’m really failing to see the post partum srx cravings…..I wasn’t even close to having those desires for quite a while.

  • Lackadaisical

    I have never heard of any post baby time restrictions on sex. I wasn’t even warned about it after my c-section. Not only did my doctor and health visitor not warn me of sex too early but they both asked me what contraception I would be using in the home visit check ups the day after I got out of hospital. They asked because they wanted to make sure I knew that I could get pregnant even if breastfeeding and soon after the birth as some mums get caught out by fertility old wives tales and nowhere in the discussion was there any mention of a need for me to cross my legs. When my mum had me it was even standard for the doctor to give new mums a big box of condoms straight after the birth. The standard amongst me and my friends (and none of us have heard of restrictions post birth) is as soon as the heavy post baby bleeding stops, you don’t feel sore and you actually want it.

  • Anonymous

    With my son, we both really wanted to at 6 days. They said 4 weeks, bare minimum when the lochia was pink and it was. It was Father’s day. :P Everything was still a bit stretched out, so we had to try different avenues…. but then everything went back to normal at 6 weeks, pretty much to the day. He actually mentioned that I was tighter. T_T With my daughter though, I just was not interested at all, and he didn’t mention it either. My doctor did not believe me and insisted on a pregnancy test before I got my IUD when I went to my appointment. It was probably 8 weeks before he was all, uh, do you want to see if it still works? and I was like, yeah sure, might as well. lol. My desire didn’t really fully come back until I stopped breastfeeding, and I’m normally a twice a day kind of girl. :P

  • Sara610

    Ummmmm……yeah. I’m embarrassed to admit this, but whatever.
    My husband and I didn’t have sex for a year after I had our daughter. I had second-degree tearing and the recovery was long and painful, then the tissue healed weird and I actually had to have a perineoplasty when my daughter was about 9 months old because sex was just unbearably painful. Then it was another couple of months after the surgery before we could have sex because I had to recover from that.
    It’s better, but my daughter is 2 1/2 and sex is still painful at the beginning. :( I probably wouldn’t be saying this if it weren’t a fairly anonymous forum, but…..I don’t know if I’m ever truly going to enjoy sex again, and that makes me really sad. I still do it with my husband because it ends up being enjoyable, I understand that he needs it and it’s important for our relationship, but I hardly ever feel like having sex. I’m not sure if it’s just because of the issues I talked about above or if it’s hormonal or what, but I wish I had the kind of sex drive that all you ladies are talking about. It just feels like sex is a chore, and I hate that. I want to WANT to have sex with my husband. He’s an amazing guy and he deserves a wife who actively wants to have sex with him. :(

    • Amanda

      When I had my first daughter, I had a 2nd degree episiotimy that required a couple of stitches. It was a painful healing process, although I didn’t have any issues healing weird. Anyway, when we would have sex after everythign ahd healed up, it was ALWAYS rather painful when we would get going. I couldn’t figure it out. After a while things would feel good and all would be relatively well, but it was strange to me that it was always so uncomfortable in the beginning.

      Fast forward, we have daughter #2. I had a very small tear, which needed one small stitch. I have NOT had the uncomfortable sex problems from before! My current theory is that my first doctor stitched me up a little too tightly (as has been known to happen), and my second birth kinda “corrected” it. The point is, don’t give up hope! It really could get better!

    • jane

      I was going to say the exact same thing as Amanda. Wicked 3rd degree tear and a whole bunch of stitches. I had a medical student stitch me up and I swear that one of those stitches ended up in the wrong place. But I put my best foot forward and had sex, and got pregnant with #2 and WOW, hormones. I cannot believe how much pregnant sex I had the second go round, especially because the first time we were basically celibate after month 3.

      Birth the second time around was much easier, and there was much less tearing and I was completely back to normal in terms of pain, discomfort, etc after recovery. Sex is fun again! Hoo-ray. It can get better, but DO NOT LET your Ob write it off as psychological. Sex should not be painful, and it can be fixed (I’m sure there are ways besides having another baby).

    • Newmom

      Seriously, thank you for saying this, I feel a lot less alone. I’m in the same boat presently, about a year after having baby and no sex/no desire for sex. I’ve experienced a bladder prolapse since having my baby and am currently getting treatment for it, but the thought of having sex seem so “meh” besides the fact that the prolapse can be uncomfortable. I receive physical therapy for the prolapse and just have something inserted can be painful so I don’t know how sex will feel. I feel really alone, it seems everyone I know and everything I read is all about sex all the time. My husband and I are fine in our relationship, we didn’t have sex all that often before our baby, either. I’m feeling like I’m getting ready to get back into things but I’m also hesitant. I do want to have another baby, so we’ll have to get around to it eventually. I just don’t think it’s the end all be all of a good relationship.

    • Gnomie78

      I haven’t had children, but I do tend to have troublesome gynecological problems, to the point where my husband and I have had sex probably less than 10 times in the past year. Sex is always quite painful, and it breaks my heart. I feel broken, like it’s something so basic everyone should be able to do (among other unpleasant symptoms). It’s taken a frustratingly long time, but finally, after a whole bunch of doctor’s visits, scores of tests, and tons of antibiotics that never worked and probably made everything worse, I seem to be zeroing in on the root cause of this particular yearlong issue. But it’s going to take a long time now to get back to any semblance of “normal.” Sex is becoming less painful, but I still have anxiety surrounding it and not much inclination to go at it.

      Anyway, the point is, if it’s something that really bothers you, don’t give up on finding a solution. I know it’s exhausting — it has been for me, and I don’t have a child in the mix — but for me, I could no longer live like that. I wish I could give more targeted advice, but every woman’s body is so, so different. If you can afford it and have the time/availability, try different doctors. Eventually I learned to distinguish who would listen to me and try different solutions and who just wanted to write a prescription and get me out of there. You don’t have to live like this.

      P.S. Has any of your doctors explored the idea of physical therapy? In my current issue, I’m having 2 problems — one gynecological and one muscular. This is just a shot in the dark, but it could be a muscular issue, maybe related to giving birth? I’ve been in treatment for four months with a “women’s health” physical therapist, and I was recently given a worksheet that’s normally given to women postpartum showing how to treat the vaginal muscles myself. Apparently this vein of physical therapy is still new-ish, but it’s available. Might be worth bringing up to your doctor. Good luck — I hope you find a solution.

  • Asia Woodley

    LOL so again, twins at 37 weeks, c-section. Cerclage (sp) at 24 weeks. Husband COULD NOT WAIT to have sex post intimacy and was awaiting my ok. Sex 4 weeks postpartum at my ok. Open -minded as my doc is, he KNEW we wouldn’t and had no issue saying so lol. All was well. Been on the rhythm method since there birth at 2.8 months old and have not had ANY scares. Thank goodness!

  • Asia Woodley

    Me!!! 24 week cerclage and 37 week c section delivery of twins. Doc KNEW we wouldn’t wait. At our 6 week checkup hw asked and we were honest that at 3 weeks pp we had sex. Was he surprised? no. LOL. Been on the rhythm method fro 2.5 years and no scares since.

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  • Amanda

    After my first, I think my crazy hormones made me horny. I wanted to have sex about 3 weeks postpartum. We tried, but I was still sore and I was concerned about my stitches, so we didn’t complete the act. So I sort of understand these women, postpartum hormones are no joke. That being said, no actual sex happened until after the 6 week appointment. Also, after I had baby number 2, I had no such rush of horny-ness. For months.

  • NotTakenNotAvailable

    Bethany, every time you research the bowels of inter-web fora for insight into erotica and the new mother, I’m sorely tempted to call up nearby convents and ask if they’re desperate enough to allow Jewish atheists to join.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Haha! I’m pretty sure my creepy detective skills are a curse…

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      But I am grateful. The public must be kept informed.

  • And your point is

    My sisters boyfriend nagged and nagged so she had to 3 days after. I don’t get how she could cuz…ouch?

    • Jayamama

      That’s awful. On so many levels. How sad.

    • Sarahstired

      If she really “had too” she needs to find a different boyfriend. That controlling behavior will not change and is starting down a very scary path.

    • And your point is

      They aren’t together anymore which makes me happy. He was a douche. One of those guys who pestered for sex each and every night and huffed and puffed if you said no. She would be like days away from delivering and she’d be tired and all that and he wouldn’t leave her alone. But she got rid of him and is happy now. 3 days post partum is nonsense. I didn’t after having my girl for 3 months.

  • Jayamama

    Oh my gosh, number 5! Learn from previous experiences! One of my biggest fears, four months after a difficult second pregnancy, is that I’ll be come pregnant so soon after. I’m not sure I even want another biological child.

    I wanted nothing to do with sex for a long time after my first, but my husband and I were raring to go after number two, probably because we went most of the pregnancy not being intimate since I felt so poorly. I waited until the lochia was finished and until I felt up to it, and threw caution to the wind. It was probably around the one month mark. I don’t regret it at all. I really think 6 weeks is a guideline.

  • The Kez

    Oh fuck that. Any time my husband looked at me sideways for the first two months I would yell “I HAVE STITCHES IN MY VAGINA!!!” Which was usually enough to scare him off for another few days.

  • Sarahstired

    I took every single day of those six weeks as a blessing-” sorry hun dr said no.” who are these crazy women?? I wanted nothing to do with anything being put in anywhere.

  • Joye77

    I remember being so sleep deprived in those first few weeks that anytime baby was asleep I was also, husbands “needs” be damned. But honestly he is very respectful of Dr. orders and never even thought about it.
    I had a friend who was able to fend off her husband for 2 whole weeks post-partum. I always felt the Dr. orders were there for a damn reason, so I followed them.

  • donnagriffini