Leave The Circumcision Decision To The One With The Junk


When I found out I was having a boy, there were so many things I had to plan for—blue nursery bedding, adorable little boy onesies, and tiny baby shoes with guitars and skulls on them. I was all set.

As my due date approached, I started thinking about the boyness that was inside of me. Suddenly, it hit me: OH, SHIT, we have to make a decision about his junk! I don’t know if this counts as a TMI alert or a fact, but my husband is circumcised. And since my husband is the one with the junk in the family, I made the “circumcision decision” 100% his responsibility.

My husband decided like father, like son. I had no problem with that choice because, as a completely objective observer of the penis, I find circumcision to be aesthetically pleasing. I know this is the perfect opportunity for people to jump in with the “terrible, unnecessary mutilation” argument, and please, go right ahead. I will happily pass the buck back to my husband on this one: He has the junk, so he made the choice.

After seeing circumcision go down firsthand, not once but twice, I’m definitely pro-circumcision. With my first son, I was nervous about the whole ordeal. It became even more complicated after I had a birthing center birth; hospitals weren’t willing to take us in for circumcision since my son wasn’t born in a hospital setting. I even googled “mohel,” but what do you know—there is a serious mohel shortage in Texas.

Finally, FINALLY, we found a fancy-schmancy pediatrician that specializes in circumcision in a rich area of town. Our insurance sucks donkey balls, so we had to pay $600 for the “elective” procedure out-of-pocket for both kids. Again, I have already heard the argument of the unnecessary cruelty of circumcision. But as an objective observer without a penis, it appeared to be as painful as routine infant shots. The babies cried, the foreskin was snipped with a handy Plastibell device that fell off in a few weeks, and we called it a day.

Circumcision isn’t technically my business because I don’t have man parts to make it so. But based on my observations, I back my husband’s decision to circumcise both of our sons. There are no more kids in our future, but I fully endorse the tip snip.

(Image: Lana K/Shutterstock)

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  • Samma

    “The one with the junk” is the person whose junk you are electively (yes, it is entirely /elective/) removing a vital part of. You didn’t give that person any input at all.

    • Renee

      Not vital

    • missiemeghan

      If it were vital, the child would die.

  • FloppyMagma

    I do agree with leaving the decision to the one with the junk. By that i mean the person the penis is attached to! Why risk your babies life for a cosmetic procedure? Over 80% of the worlds males get along just fine with all body parts attached.

    • Harriet

      Yeh I actually thought for a second that’s what the writer meant… obviously not -_-

  • Melissa

    First off, after reading the article and the comments I’m really glad that as the mom of one daughter with another daughter on the way, I will never have to make this decision, much less take a side publically about it–yikes!

    I do have to point out though, that there are a great many significant parenting decisions that have to be made without the ability to consult with the infant they will affect. And it seems with most of these decisions the final say goes to the mom (breastfeeding or not is just one example). So I guess I see no harm with delegating one damn decision to the dad if you truly are neutral on the subject.

  • Kate

    I went to see a specialist. When she told me that she hadn’t circumcised her own son, and that she could not present me wit one medical reason to do it, I decided against circumcision. My husband is circumcised but was not keen on having his son have the “snip”.

  • Brother K

    The cruelty of women who support Genital Surgery on a healthy body part is appalling, shocking, and disgusting. Such women know very well what their so-called “husband” will say, so it’s really just a convenient way of assigning HIM responsibility for THEIR decision. You hypocrites ought to get yourself and your daughters cut also. The parents in Indonesia use the same sick arguments to justify girl circumcision, and before you start ranting how “girl circumcision is much more severe than boy circumcision blah blah blah”, no honey it isn’t. The most common girl circumcision in the world is the cutting off of a sliver of the clitoral hood. Here’s the proof. Put your own damn genitals in the crushing machine, have a taste of your own medicine. http://www.theislamicmonthly.com/a-tiny-cut-female-circumcision-in-south-east-asia/

  • FloppyMagma

    Another point to consider that while you may not have a penis. You do have a foreskin. Its called a clitoral hood and forms from the same tissue as the male foreskin does. So actually you have more experience with foreskin than a cut man does.

  • ashli

    $600?!? Fancy Pediatrician?!?
    Holy crap. Almost any pediatric office can do a circumcision, every one I called said they could schedule it for a morning that week…and I don’t know if it’s a by area thing or what, but up here in Idaho, I paid $275. That all sounds nuts. (ha)

  • Mario

    DId you happen to do any research on the subject? You cut the best part of your baby’s penis off and for no good reason.

  • Elizabeth

    I don’t have kids yet, so I don’t know what I’d do. I’ve dated a lot of Jewish guys, though (current boyfriend is Israeli) so, in my personal experience, circumcision is the norm. I know my boyfriend would prefer to circumcise.

    And I know this is just anecdotal, but one of my college professors had a 7-year-old son who required an emergency circumcision. Apparently it was really traumatizing for everyone involved, and he had to miss a bunch of school. (That’s not to say things don’t go wrong with baby circumcisions, of course; I just found the whole scenario rather terrifying.)

  • NYCNanny

    I prefer uncut… Something extra to play with. ;)

  • AlbinoWino

    I always figured I strongly preferred the cut guys. Then I met my fiance who is from the UK and saw my first ever uncut one. It was a little strange at first but then I didn’t really mind. I went from thinking I would absolutely circumcise if I had a son to thinking I might skip it. He argues that it really does cut down on sexual pleasure for the man but at the same time I figure if you’ve had yours that way your entire life, you don’t feel the difference. I struggle because we live in the US and a lot more guys do it here. I think I would back my fiance and not do it if we ever had a son.

  • whiteroses

    Unlike vaccination- whether or not to circumcise is a personal choice, and it’s one that parents have to make on behalf of their children. My husband and I made the choice about whether to circ or not, then went on with our lives. I’ve always found intactivists kind of creepy- since being so focused on another person’s junk indicates that you need a hobby. Badly.

  • Blossom

    Leave the decision up to the one with the junk? You actually didn’t do that as that would have been your sons. We did not circ our boys. One chose to be circ’d as a teen and it was no “nightmare” to have done later as some would have you believe. Done on a Friday by a skilled urologist at Children’s Hospital (outpatient) and back to school on Monday. Our other son is happily intact. I couldn’t be more thrilled at how we truly did leave it up to the one with the junk to make that decision. It’s no one else’s to make.

    • Blossom

      I love Dads who are “man” enough not to insist his baby’s penis look just like his. Circumcisions are brutal; there are many things I get up on my soapbox about. I saw one and the baby arched his back and no sound came out. The image haunts me to this day (at a bris). The mother was hysterical. With the next pregnancy she was just praying it would be a girl — and it was. There’s a reason most parents don’t “watch” their babies’ circ’s. I ask you: what adult would consent to being strapped to a board, with little only a little topical anaesthesia and agree to having his skin essentially ripped off? Call it a Plastibell or whatever helps you think it’s ‘no big deal.’ But it is a very big deal. It fucking hurts like hell. Welcome to the world, baby. Now let’s rip off your foreskin.

  • Helena Inviere

    The one with the junk is the infant, and most FGM victims support that too.