Rachel Canning Returns HomeYour favorite ungrateful little witch runaway cheerleader Rachel Canning is back home after the judge tossed her case out of court. There is no information on whether or not her parents will continue paying her tuition bills. According to a news report from The Daily Mail, the attorney for Rachel’s parents was quoted as ’Her return home is not contingent on any financial and/or other considerations,’ Mr Sarno said in an earlier statement released Wednesday, and regarding the Cannings ‘They’re not athletes, they’re not actors. They didn’t ask for this attention… Please respect the Canning’s privacy.’

I think we are all happy to respect their privacy, because it wasn’t like we loaded up the minivan and drove over to their house to get in their business, they were the ones yammering to the press about who did what and who drank what and who ditched classes and who was paying for what. The sad part about all this is according to the report, Rachel’s younger siblings have been affected by this, and as we have discussed before I am sure they have, because having your older sister move out and your parents fighting with her and appearing on TV and all of that couldn’t have been fun for them.

(Image: twitter)

(Image: twitter)

One aspect of the report that I found sort of interesting was that it was revealed that when she was busted at the homecoming dance Rachel threatened to sue a teacher for kicking her out. I don’t know about you all, and I don’t know all the details, but I do know that my goal in life is to never raise a kid who would either threaten to sue me or sue an adult at their school because they didn’t like the way things were going down. There is just something I find inherently creepy about a kid who threatens legal actions over things like unpaid tuition or being booted out of a homecoming dance. When you think about all the cases we have discussed here about young adults who threaten lawsuits when they are being racially profiled or sexually harassed and you compare it to a kid threatening one when they are kicked out of a school dance it makes you wonder if some parents aren’t raising some special snowflakes that don’t understand actual real life problems versus getting busted for behaving badly.

I only have one more doozy for you guys which is this: Earlier in the evening Rachel, now 18, had apparently been hard loudly boasting that she had Everclear, a brand of vodka. First of all, I am not sure Everclear is technically a vodka, because I always thought it was some sort of grain alcohol. And secondly, have you ever drank that shit? I remember a bottle being passed around when I was growing up and behaving badly with some friends and I could barely even smell it. It’s illegal in 14 states. It’s like moonshine light. It’s barfy. So not only is Rachel being raised to think threatening to sue people left and right is A-OK, she also has really bad taste in booze. Someone needs to think of the children!
(Image: Facebook/twitter)