16 Stock Photos That Prove Pregnant Women Just Can’t Stop Drawing On Their Bellies

If there is one thing I know about being pregnant, is that all pregnant women take any opportunity to draw shit on their bellies. This is how pregnant women say to the world I am pregnant, pay attention to my belly and I’m pregnant, but I also have a real wacky sense of humor. After I remove this shit from my belly let’s sit around and watch some Robin Williams stand-up comedy VHS tapes and forward some lawyer joke chain mail letters to our in-laws. Pregnant women are hilarious! There is nothing as funny as extended weeks involving acid reflux and having your ankles so swollen that you end up wearing flip flops to the DMV, a place that totally requires close-toed shoes if ever there was one. A woman with the precious gift of life growing inside of her is always up for some hilarious hi-jinks, including drawing shit on her belly, especially when she is all alone in a wheat field.

 

You Are My Sunshine 

(Image:  Lena Pan/shutterstock)

(Image: Lena Pan/shutterstock)

This bitch. This bitch is the one who was always trying to convince her other knocked up friends to take prenatal yoga with her or to attend Burning Man or to weave hemp baby diapers or some shit. She is the same women who after she spews life from her vag will make everyone around her who also has a baby feel really shitty if they can’t breastfeed.

Avon Calling! 

(Image: Osokina Liudmila/shutterstock)

(Image: Osokina Liudmila/shutterstock)

LOL it’s a face. A face made out of face cream or a travel sized serving of mayonnaise or coagulated whale jizz or something in a jar. Hilarious.

Just Go Buy Some Damn Paper 

(Image: Oksana Kuzmina/shutterstock)

(Image: Oksana Kuzmina/shutterstock)

But mommy, why can’t I use paper like the rest of the kids? Are you going to wuv my widdle brudder or sister more dem me and let dem have paper instead of painting on your tummy?

BEHOLD! 

(Image: spstudio.com.ua/shutterstock)

(Image: spstudio.com.ua/shutterstock)

Behold my belly! Behold my sports bra! Behold my angry expression! Behold!

Toothpaste Works In A Pinch 

(image: AnikaNes/shutterstock)

(image: AnikaNes/shutterstock)

In case you run out of whale jizz.

11:05 Is When We Will Bring Life Into The World 

(Image: Sergey Peterman/shutterstock)

(Image: Sergey Peterman/shutterstock)

And 11:30 is when we will dine on placenta and put the placenta bowl on your head to give you another haircut.


Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One

(Image:  botazsolti/shutterstock)

(Image: botazsolti/shutterstock)

Knock Knock!

Who’s There?

It’s me your fetus and when I’m born I’m going to fuck you up so bad. Looololololololol fetus.

Mama’s Li’l Music Fan  

(Image: Marius Pirvu/shutterstock)

(Image: Marius Pirvu/shutterstock)

I was trying to decide if she was exposing her unborn to Japanese death metal or the theme from Dora The Explorer or some other shitty music to make it’s face all flick-ted like this but then I realized due to her getting jiggly with it facial expression she was obviously making her fetus rock out to The Spin Doctorsgreatest hits. ”

Prenatal Bonding  

shutterstock_152086502

(image: Marius Pirvu/shutterstock)

If you are concerned about how your little tow-headed youngster will react when the baby arrives, draw some stupid face on your belly and make your kid talk to it so it will make the baby seem more real . This can obviously backfire if your creepy little kid just keeps shoving his fingers into your various orifices.

 The Fetus In The Dell 

(Image: Vladimir Melnikov/shutterstock)

(Image: Vladimir Melnikov/shutterstock)

As much as I enjoy this whacky little face drawn on this chick’s belly, the obvious more pressing question is where can we all get these overalls and wear them at all times even when not pregnant with crop tops because this may be the best outfit I have ever seen on any human ever. EVER.

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    • http://mother--bored.tumblr.com/ Aimee Ogden

      I don’t understand why none of these women are drinking milk. Or why that little girl is painting a strip of bacon on her mother’s stomach.

      • Taxes Make Kittens Cry

        mmm… bacon…

        Not the Canadian one Pixie >:P

    • aCongaLine

      I would be mortified if I saw pictures of my mother doodling on the bump that was me-as-a-fetus. Oy vey. People are bat shit crazy.

    • Bethany Ramos

      DYING!! Those pregnancy overalls are the most hideous things that I have ever seen in my life.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        They are terrifyingly awesome

      • Valerie

        Tight and acid washed. Is there any better way to sport denim whilst pregnant? Someone should ask a Duggar for their expertise in this area.

      • Bethany Ramos

        Zing!!

      • ted3553

        If she was a true Duggar, she’d have had a denim crop top as well as the overalls

      • Joye77

        How crazy, everyone knows the Duggars don’t wear pants, it’s so immodest..it’s a SIN.. or something..

      • tSubh Dearg

        Because in Ireland pants means underpants rather than trousers, I always imagine that the Duggars and not wearing underwear beneath their skirts and ponder on the danger of that.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      Now I understand why I – despite being a bit of a hippie sometimes – felt zero interest in wanting to paint my belly or do a belly cast when pregnant.

    • LadyClodia

      I had a maternity t-shirt from thinkgeek that had a loading image on it, which I thought was cute. I did not have a cute pregnant belly, though, so I would have never drawn anything on it.
      That “knock knock” one is going to give me nightmares. Thanks.

    • rrlo

      I can’t believe you managed to collect THREE pages worth of painted pregnant belly photos. Wow!

    • Kendra

      Ummm…that last photo is me…

      • Valerie

        You should see a dermatologist. Your elbow is making me nervous.

      • Kendra

        LOL I was only kidding. I wish I was awesome enough to rock full body cheetah paint. But, now that you point it out…the elbow is a bit frightening.

      • Valerie

        I knew you were kidding. :-) But I am worried for that elbow. It is not right.

      • Kendra

        You know, I assumed that because this is Mommyish, most people would get it…but…I just couldn’t take the chance…

      • MegzWray

        Yeah, WTF is wrong with her elbow???

      • I know these things

        The elbow was painted with her arm straight and then the skin stretched when she bent her arm. Go ahead. Straighten your and touch your elbow.

    • Ms. Anne

      I would like to state that I successfully made it through my pregnancy without once painting anything on my belly, although my partner did tell me he was going to draw obscene pictures on the underside where I couldn’t see anymore (I’m 99% sure he never did this).

    • Lee

      That last one has me feline purrty scared.

      • itpainsme2say

        I really want to down vote you for that

    • TwentiSomething Mom

      The last one was pretty cool, though

    • Valerie

      I don’t know where to start. I feel like the Austin Power’s Fembot when they just get overwhelmed and completely explode after shooting lasers out of their bewbs.
      If you watch It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia….the 11:05 bowl cut guy totally reminds me of one of the McPoyles. Now I want milk.

    • Alex Lee

      was hoping for one of these…

      • itpainsme2say

        I was not prepared and it even has veins ugh

    • Taxes Make Kittens Cry

      I need whoever is preggers to get this tatoo on their belly

    • Harriet Meadow

      When I was pregnant, my husband used to draw little cute and funny things on my belly for my OB to see when she did an exam on me. She actually appreciated it a lot and always got a big kick out of it. One week toward the end we forgot to do it and she said she was disappointed!

      Oh also, the thing about the swollen feet and having to wear flip-flops? My feet and ankles never swelled while I was pregnant (and I actually got a lot of weird comments about it from strangers), but after my labor – which consisted of nearly 24 hours of being hooked up to an IV and thus having WAAAAAAAY too much fluid in me – my legs and feet were SO swollen that I couldn’t even get them into flip flops. They stayed that way for nearly two weeks. I had to wear socks outside and to the grocery store…it was AWFUL.

    • Alanna Jorgensen

      The facial expression on Miss Tape Nipples is the icing on that terror cake of a picture.

    • Joye77

      I don’t think Behold has any boobs, she could have just skipped the sports bra. And she does have this weird angry expression, WTF.

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      That’s not whale jizz, that’s her man’s jizz. She’s trying to show her work, math class style. DUH

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    • Frannie

      Is the lady in #4 wearing a dust ruffle?

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    • http://babesinstyle.com.au/ Babes In Style

      When will women stop posting images of their baby bellies on facebook – I mean do you really think i am that impressed by your baby belly?