I read an article this morning called, 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Working Moms. I’m always so jealous of these articles. For once, I would like to write an article in which I say, Hey! I’m really good at this and this is what you need to do to be as good as me! Instead, I tend to default to, Jesus my life is a shit-show and here is what I think I am doing wrong.

Well, I’m not going to beat myself up over it anymore. I mean – a list like mine is just as helpful as one that actually has real tips on it, right? All you have to do is use my advice in a different way; basically, just read about what I do – then do exactly the opposite. If you are a work from home mom, here are some things that I find myself doing that you should probably avoid.

1. Drink a whole pot of coffee by 11 a.m.

This will ensure that your brain is constantly thinking of amazing ways to maximize your time, but your shaky hands will not be able to execute any of them.

2. Attempt to outsource daycare to your mother.

Free daycare plus a way to constantly have your parenting style questioned, which keeps you on your toes. Or annoys you so much you end up spending way too much mental energy yelling at your mother in your head all day because you don’t want to come off like an ingrate.

3. Make no real attempt to wean your breastfeeding infant and/or don’t replace your broken breast pump.

This will ensure that you spend at least half of your day running back and forth to appease your crying child and/or relieve your about-to-burst boobs.

4. Desperately rely on the 2-hour nap your toddler no longer wants.

This involves actually planning for that window of peace that will likely stop coming as fast as you can say Yo Gabba Gabba.

5. Never make a menu for the week to make your domestic life easier.

Instead drag your two hungry, grumpy kids to Publix a couple times a week to plan meals on the fly. Pro-tip: they make broccoli in those “steam-cook in the microwave bags in three minutes” now. This helps ease the guilt for whatever easy meal you are throwing together at the last minute. At least there is broccoli.

6. Never set your alarm clock to ensure that you have time to be creative while your vivacious children are still asleep.

This way you can prep for your day while also entertaining, feeding, dressing and loving your little attention hoggers.

7. Don’t catch up on housework and assorted chores on the weekend.

Why ruin your weekend? This way you can make your already over-scheduled week even harder.

(photo: Barabasa/ Shutterstock)