shutterstock_168955910I love my daughter’s teacher. She’s smart and makes me laugh. Especially when she wrote to me that she was starting an “Organizational Club,” at school. Bahaha! I can’t stop laughing about it, even though, of course, this teacher means well.

But she’s so witty, this teacher. My daughter is super disorganized. In her defense, she comes home with so much homework, that literally, her knapsack feels like she’s packed for a weeklong getaway, it’s so heavy. There are so many notebooks and pieces of paper that come home with her that, really, I could open a stationary store.

Alas, my daughter can be so disorganized that, last week, I found her bawling in her bedroom, because she had just spent two hours studying for…the wrong test! She loses homework almost daily (but somehow she manages to keep up her grades) and when I say it IS possible for a kid to lose a violin from your front door to the car in the driveway, I mean it. My daughter, to use the oft-cliché, would lose her head if it weren’t attached to her head.

So many mothers, it turns out, have the same problem with their kids, once I posted on FB that this teacher was starting an Organizational Club and made some crack about how we’re too disorganized to get there. But these moms don’t blame their children. Most of the mothers I heard from about my child being disorganized told me that they too are completely disorganized, as are their children.

I am disorganized. My desk is covered with bills, forms, bills, invitations, bills, magazines, and pictures my daughter has drawn for me. My Iphone has more than 60,000 e-mails on it. I am so disorganized, in fact, that it’s a wonder that I remember to pick up my daughter at school (Haven’t forgotten…yet!)

The point is, she comes by her disorganization honestly, like most mothers have told me about their disorganized children.

Even though I have told her numerous times she needs to be more organized, I feel completely hypocritical. It’s like me telling her she can’t eat junk food while I’m stuffing my face with chips. One mother suggested her disorganization was due to hormones. I would like to believe this, but my daughter has ALWAYS been disorganized. She will lose 12 pairs of mittens each winter and come home wearing someone else’s hat and never is her jacket by the front door.

One mentioned she may have ADD, but I think that is a completely wrong assessment. (Not that I’m a doctor, but neither is the mother who threw out that suggestion.) My daughter is just…spacey. That’s the best word I can think of to describe her and the reason why she’s disorganized. Plus, she sees how disorganized I am, so we’re pretty much screwed.

But I LOVE my spacey, scattered-brained, daughter. I would also like my spacey daughter (and my spacey self) to be more organized. Unfortunately, I’m now forty, and I don’t believe you can always teach an old dog new tricks. The thing about organizing is that you really have to work at it, and keep up with it. But many mothers, and children, it seems, just can’t do this.

One mother wrote me that she’s a Grade Six teacher and out of her entire class, only three are organized. So, obviously, we’re kind of…normal?

The difference, however, with a child being disorganized and a parent being disorganized is that we understand how our disorganized mind works. No one is allowed to touch my desk because, yes, although it’s totally a mess, that mess makes sense to me.

My daughter is a very busy girl. I can’t blame her for being disorganized, not just because we have so much on our plate, but also because I really do think that the poor girl just inherited my disorganized genes.

But, somehow, I’ve made it to 40, no one has died because of my lack of organization, and, although I’m positive that at times in my life it would be easier to be organized (Where is my vehicle ownership paper? ARGH!) I’ve survived quite successfully. I rather her be disorganized than mean. I rather her be disorganized than rude. I rather her be disorganized than a hateful person.

As for the Organizational Club, my daughter may be “required” to attend, which is good, but mostly bad. Will she even remember what day the Organizational Club takes place or where? Will we be able to get there, if we’re running late, because disorganized mommy can’t find her fucking keys again? And can you be “booted out” of an Organizational Club because you’re not improving?

And, it’s just ADDING another thing to stress about in our already disorganized life! Someone pointed out to me an Einstein quote: “If a cluttered desk equals a cluttered mind, then what, pray tell, does an empty desk mean?” Exactly. Keep your desk messy, my love. I don’t care. It’s who you are, my little spacey child. I do think the teacher should maybe start an Organizational Club for moms. We’re just as disorganized as our children, after all!

(Image: Solomiya Trylovska/shutterstock)