This will be the last time Iâ€™m ever pregnant (God-willing). Though in my current state Iâ€™m doubting to the depths of my soul that Iâ€™ll actually miss it, maybe thatâ€™s not completely true. In an effort to â€śenjoyâ€ť this pregnancy (and I use that term very lightly) Iâ€™m trying to find a few things to embrace instead of scorn. The truth is I do not like being pregnant. I donâ€™t like barfing or feeling like my body is not my own and I really, really donâ€™t like that the liquor store across the alley hasnâ€™t seen my face in over six months. I know itâ€™s all for the greater good, but man, I am about ready to start pushing. Just say the word. Regardless of how I feel at the present moment, I know when itâ€™s all over, there may, in fact, be a handful of little things Iâ€™ll wish Iâ€™d appreciated a bit more.
Here are the top nine things Iâ€™m trying to savor about pregnant life. Feel free to stop me if I start to sound too perky.
1. Doing a few yoga poses and calling it a workout.
Nausea, fatigue, maintaining a four year old and growing a child have wrought havoc on my fitness routine. I still do yoga, but in my pre-pregnancy life, Iâ€™d be drowning in guilt by the lack of physical activity Iâ€™ve succumbed to. A little goddess pose here, a downdog there, pigeon, of course because it feels sooo good. After a twenty minute nap, I mean savasana, I pat myself on the back for my awesome â€śworkout.â€ť
2. Not having to say â€śI donâ€™t feel like having sex tonight.â€ť
Because letâ€™s face it, he already knows it ainâ€™t happening. It seems the bigger I get, the more desperate my husband becomes. Unfortunately his growing infatuation with my pregnant bod coincides with my growing repulsion to anything even remotely sexual. Except in the case of…
3. Pregnant dreams.
Thatâ€™s right. In my waking hours, sex is repulsive. But once Iâ€™m down for the count itâ€™s a different encounter every night. Guest appearances have included Matt Damon, Leonardo Dicaprio and I hate to say it, Justin Bieber. Apparently my slumbering pregnant self is a total cliche (and kind of a cradle-robber).
4. Falling asleep at the drop of a hat.
In real life, Iâ€™m an awful sleeper. It takes me forever to get to sleep (unless itâ€™s wine induced, obv) and I wake up every time my daughter makes a noise or the cat walks across my bedroom. But when Iâ€™m pregnant, I hit the pillow and Iâ€™m done. Snooze-city till morning or till Iâ€™m four seconds away from peeing the bed. Typically the latter. Iâ€™ve also never been someone who could nap but pregnant? Anytime, anywhere, baby. If thereâ€™s so much as twelve seconds of silence, youâ€™re gonna have to wake me. Preferably by rubbing my feet.