This will be the last time I’m ever pregnant (God-willing). Though in my current state I’m doubting to the depths of my soul that I’ll actually miss it, maybe that’s not completely true. In an effort to “enjoy” this pregnancy (and I use that term very lightly) I’m trying to find a few things to embrace instead of scorn. The truth is I do not like being pregnant. I don’t like barfing or feeling like my body is not my own and I really, really don’t like that the liquor store across the alley hasn’t seen my face in over six months. I know it’s all for the greater good, but man, I am about ready to start pushing. Just say the word. Regardless of how I feel at the present moment, I know when it’s all over, there may, in fact, be a handful of little things I’ll wish I’d appreciated a bit more.
Here are the top nine things I’m trying to savor about pregnant life. Feel free to stop me if I start to sound too perky.
1. Doing a few yoga poses and calling it a workout.
Nausea, fatigue, maintaining a four year old and growing a child have wrought havoc on my fitness routine. I still do yoga, but in my pre-pregnancy life, I’d be drowning in guilt by the lack of physical activity I’ve succumbed to. A little goddess pose here, a downdog there, pigeon, of course because it feels sooo good. After a twenty minute nap, I mean savasana, I pat myself on the back for my awesome “workout.”
2. Not having to say “I don’t feel like having sex tonight.”
Because let’s face it, he already knows it ain’t happening. It seems the bigger I get, the more desperate my husband becomes. Unfortunately his growing infatuation with my pregnant bod coincides with my growing repulsion to anything even remotely sexual. Except in the case of…
3. Pregnant dreams.
That’s right. In my waking hours, sex is repulsive. But once I’m down for the count it’s a different encounter every night. Guest appearances have included Matt Damon, Leonardo Dicaprio and I hate to say it, Justin Bieber. Apparently my slumbering pregnant self is a total cliche (and kind of a cradle-robber).
4. Falling asleep at the drop of a hat.
In real life, I’m an awful sleeper. It takes me forever to get to sleep (unless it’s wine induced, obv) and I wake up every time my daughter makes a noise or the cat walks across my bedroom. But when I’m pregnant, I hit the pillow and I’m done. Snooze-city till morning or till I’m four seconds away from peeing the bed. Typically the latter. I’ve also never been someone who could nap but pregnant? Anytime, anywhere, baby. If there’s so much as twelve seconds of silence, you’re gonna have to wake me. Preferably by rubbing my feet.