9 Things I’m Trying To Enjoy About Being Pregnant

 

shutterstock_114085786This will be the last time I’m ever pregnant (God-willing). Though in my current state I’m doubting to the depths of my soul that I’ll actually miss it, maybe that’s not completely true. In an effort to “enjoy” this pregnancy (and I use that term very lightly) I’m trying to find a few things to embrace instead of scorn. The truth is I do not like being pregnant. I don’t like barfing or feeling like my body is not my own and I really, really don’t like that the liquor store across the alley hasn’t seen my face in over six months. I know it’s all for the greater good, but man, I am about ready to start pushing. Just say the word. Regardless of how I feel at the present moment, I know when it’s all over, there may, in fact, be a handful of little things I’ll wish I’d appreciated a bit more.

 

Here are the top nine things I’m trying to savor about pregnant life. Feel free to stop me if I start to sound too perky.

1. Doing a few yoga poses and calling it a workout.

Nausea, fatigue, maintaining a four year old and growing a child have wrought havoc on my fitness routine. I still do yoga, but in my pre-pregnancy life, I’d be drowning in guilt by the lack of physical activity I’ve succumbed to. A little goddess pose here, a downdog there, pigeon, of course because it feels sooo good. After a twenty minute nap, I mean savasana, I pat myself on the back for my awesome “workout.”

 

2. Not having to say “I don’t feel like having sex tonight.”

Because let’s face it, he already knows it ain’t happening. It seems the bigger I get, the more desperate my husband becomes. Unfortunately his growing infatuation with my pregnant bod coincides with my growing repulsion to anything even remotely sexual. Except in the case of…

 

3. Pregnant dreams.

That’s right. In my waking hours, sex is repulsive. But once I’m down for the count it’s a different encounter every night. Guest appearances have included Matt Damon, Leonardo Dicaprio and I hate to say it, Justin Bieber. Apparently my slumbering pregnant self is a total cliche (and kind of a cradle-robber).

 

4. Falling asleep at the drop of a hat.

In real life, I’m an awful sleeper. It takes me forever to get to sleep (unless it’s wine induced, obv) and I wake up every time my daughter makes a noise or the cat walks across my bedroom. But when I’m pregnant, I hit the pillow and I’m done. Snooze-city till morning or till I’m four seconds away from peeing the bed. Typically the latter. I’ve also never been someone who could nap but pregnant? Anytime, anywhere, baby. If there’s so much as twelve seconds of silence, you’re gonna have to wake me. Preferably by rubbing my feet.

 

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    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      Oh man, when I was pregnant I had a series of the most hilarious dreams wherein I would find myself in some sort of situation where I’d be facing stuff I couldn’t do (an open-bar wedding, a 4/20 party, a room full of steamy hot tubs). I would get all annoyed that I was in this situation because, “Bummer man, I can’t do that, I’m pregnant”. Then I would realize that I was in fact dreaming, and I’d be all “woohoo look out everybody! No consequences!” and go nuts doing whatever thing I couldn’t do.

      I seriously had at least 8 dreams like this. All different scenarios, all with the same end result. Then I’d wake up and be all, “well, at least I had fun while I was sleeping!” and go drink a sad kale smoothie.

      • afinecupoftea

        A month or two ago, I had one like this. I was offered this massive glass of plum wine, which I couldn’t have. Then I realized it was a dream and chugged it all in about 5 seconds. Delicious. :)

    • Valerie

      Yeah, I miss my husband catching sight of my Bitchy Resting Face and having him automatically trying to correct whatever might be bothering me because I’m pregnant and HORMONES. In fact, I was a rather calm pregnant lady but I think he was all prepped for the worst from whatever he heard and basically waited on me hand and foot the whole time. Why am I not doing this again??!

    • Crusty (I HATE TAXES) Socks

      For most people, a dream that includes Bieber would count as a nightmare

      • Valerie

        Beiber’s a kitten. I could take him. But last night, I dreamt that I was at a costume ball at this huge mansion and I went out to my car to find my eye shadow (because, of course) and some dude started chasing me with a huge pair of pruning shears.
        I think I might need help.

      • Crusty (I HATE TAXES) Socks

        He might have been a gay hair dresser trying to make you look fabulous?

      • Valerie

        This is weird. I just figured out that I can only see replies to my posts when I am not logged in as myself. This is Valerie, btw.
        Yeah, except he jumped out of the dark and charged toward me instead of just sauntering over and being all “heyyyyy!”

      • Valerie

        Ok, its still using my name. WTF, Disqus.

      • Crusty (I HATE TAXES) Socks

        Yea, this has been happening since yesterday.

      • Valerie

        Super duper annoying. Oh well. Back to M’ish later on today when Disqus pulls its head out of its ass.

    • AE Vorro

      Ha! Best GIFS ever.

    • anon

      Couldn’t read past ‘debts of my soul’

    • Natasha B

      Heyyy 27 weeks here too! Yeah, I have embraced yoga pants and leggings like never before. I put on (maternity) jeans and did my hair Saturday when we all went out to lunch, and the 4yo was like ‘wow mommy you look beautiful!’
      The sexy time dreams have been replaced by terrifying nightmares though, so not enjoying that so much. And the napping. I make the hubs drive when we go anywhere cause when that seat heater comes on I am out like a light.

    • Pingback: 9 Things I’m trying to enjoy about being pregnant | the mediocre mama()

    • The Kez

      Yay crazy sex dreams. I also liked directing people to fetch/move/lift things and carrying “just in case” snacks at all times without feeling guilty.