If I’ve learned anything as a parent, it’s that “bad mom,” “whore” and “crazy” are the smack-talking trifecta of abuse that people toss out when they’re trying to discredit you. I call it the “Bad Mom Argument.” No matter what the argument, or who’s in the right, there is a certain type of person (read: most people) who think that once they drop one of the aforementioned bombs on you, the discussion is over. You’re a slutty, crazy bad, bad mom and therefore your argument is invalid.
You see this phenomenon on social media all the time. It doesn’t matter what the subject is, the fastest way to shut down an argument is to call a woman a shitty mom, a slut or a nut job (or all three). And it doesn’t just happen to us regular moms. Nope, it happens to famous mothers like Wendy Davis, Angelina Jolie and even the first lady herself Michelle Obama all the time. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in your life, how much you’ve accomplished or how many people you’ve helped along the way. If you dare to be a woman and a mother, you’re nothing more than the sum of your genitalia and the fruit of your loins. And if you have a problem with this, not only are you a “bad mom” but you’re crazy too. Now get back in the kitchen and make your man a sammich, you slags.
What pisses me off about this is that even if any of it were true, what does it matter about the argument at hand? Maybe the accusation of “crazy” has some bearing since, if it were literally true (and that is a BIG maybe), since it might effect one’s argument, but what about the other two insults? I could be the whoreiest whore in all of whoredom and it wouldn’t make my point less valid if the other person is in the wrong. And the same goes for being a bad mom. Unless we’re discussing the finer points of the Montessori method, or some other parenting-related subject, my motherhood skills are irrelevant. And so are everyone else’s.