Momcore. I’m all about this life. You are all about this life. How do you know you are all about the momcore life? Because I am telling you that you are, and I have compiled a list of things that are totally momcore. Something happened while we were folding laundry you guys. Moms suddenly became cool. How do I know this? Because the Internet told me so. OK, not the Internet, but my twitter feed, and I am cool because I have Twitter, and it went down like this:
The article from NYMag explains it thusly:
When I texted my friend Brad (an artist whose summer uniform consisted of Adidas barefoot trainers, mesh shorts and plain cotton tees) for his take on the latest urban camouflage, I got an immediate reply: “lol normcore.
We basically just have to go with it. I know a lot of you just woke up like ‘dis and weren’t expecting all of your momcore shit to suddenly be cool, but it is. So here are 10 of the most momcore things all of us moms are all about.
1: Yoga Pants
As my girl Stassa mentioned above, moms are all about yoga pants. Thicker than leggings but just as comfy, you don’t even need to consider buying a yoga mat to rock these. They work as pajamas, they work as outerwear, they work as going to the club wear if you pair them with a long kimono top and a pair of heels. You basically cannot even BE a mom if you don’t own yoga pants.
Moreso than Twitter or Facebook, Pinterest is the most momcore shit out there. It’s where we go to dream, to look up crafts involving glitter glue and popsicle sticks, to get all angsty about the fact we don’t have canopy beds festooned with fairy lights and to collect crockpot dip recipes. Pinterest is our shit. It’s where our dreams are made.
3: Tina Fey
Having a ‘girl crush’ on Tina Fey is pretty much rule number one in the momcore handbook. Also, Jenna Lyons. Tina is just easier to relate to than Jenna.
Moms love wine, amirite? It doesn’t even matter what sort of wine. There is a reason why it is called “Mommyjuice.”
5: Getting Mad About Stuff
I know a lot of non momcore people will claim they also get mad about stuff™, but us moms? We own that shit. Whether it be one of our dumb kids sticking a Batman guy in the toilet or our partners forgetting to pick up the Goddamn milk on the way home or some fucking horrific rape case we read about in the news or some asshole on the Internet pissing us off because they named their kid something stupid on Facebook, us moms have the corner on getting mad about stuff™. No one gets more mad than moms. It’s very momcore.
6: The Land Of Nod Website
This is basically momcore porno. At any given moment, most moms are thinking that their lives would be just so much better if they had matching organic-cotton lined storage bins to organize their kid’s toys in.
7: Fleetwood Mac’s Rumors
I do not care what music you usually listen to. I do not care if you have some super cool iPod playlist with all of the latest music on it. You have a mom, and you put on any song off of Fleetwood Mac’s 1977 album, especially Go Your Own Way, and ANY MOM ANYWHERE will say “This is my jam.” End of discussion.
This is the most momcore of all the momcore shows, but this also includes House Of Cards, House Hunters, and House. If it isn’t Scandal, it should also include the word House in it for it to be truly momcore, unless it is Game Of Thrones.
9: Shit Oprah Likes
Say what you want about Oprah. Actually, don’t. If you have something to say about Oprah you shut your Goddamn mouth right this instant. I don’t care WHAT it is, Oprah likes all the best shit and all the moms want it. I don’t care if it is 28 dollar chicken pot pie or 56 dollar Jo Malone candles or Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, Oprah knows all the best shit and we wall want Oprah’s shit and even if we can’t afford it , we still like reading about it.
10: Saying We Didn’t Read 50 Shades of Grey
The momcore way to do this is to either say you didn’t read that garbage, or to say you read it and thought it was stupid. 100 million copies sold worldwide, translated into 52 languages, and no mom will admit to reading it. The upcoming theatrical release will also prove that moms won’t go see the movie, or they will see it and then talk about how stupid it is.
This is all from my upcoming book entitled MOMCORE™, which will also include things like “Changing our minds a lot” and Tide Laundry Detergent Pods and Starbucks and sleeping in on Sundays and untagging photos of us on Facebook.