I Will Not Hide Annoying Friends On Facebook Because I Prefer To Complain About Them


Every time I’ve written about social media netiquette, I’ve noticed one common thread: People get suuuuper bitter if you dare challenge the way that they behave on the Facebook. How dare you.

I’m not sure why Facebook is so personal, but I am sure that I am probably guilty of many of the annoying behaviors myself. But that doesn’t stop me from complaining about it. In my humble opinion, it’s fun to poke fun at our generation. Us twenty-somethings to forty-somethings are apparently the only ones left on Facebook—save for the fact that everyone’s grandma now has a profile—because all the teens are jumping ship.

Every time someone criticizes Facebook activity, I hear the same rebuttal again and again:

If you don’t like it, don’t read it!

If you don’t like it, scroll past it!

If you don’t like it, then unfriend them already!

I get what you’re saying, really I do. My husband falls on the other side of the fence, and he has “cleaned up” his Facebook feed so much that he has almost everyone hidden with settings that only show Very Important Activities. In his world, he has achieved Facebook Nirvana. Nobody bothers him and says stupid stuff or brags or uses hashtags inappropriately. I’m very happy for him.

In my world, where I work at home alone all day long, I would be so sad if I didn’t have all of the annoying people to complain about on my Facebook feed. So thank you for that. And you are also welcome for my annoying posts as a form of repayment.

I do understand how Facebook settings work. I could hide all of the terribly annoying people that I know as a friend of a friend of a friend that continually #humblebrag or talk about baby bodily fluids. But I don’t want to! I’d rather complain about it!

If I hid everyone on my Facebook feed, like my husband has done, there wouldn’t be any Facebook activity. Sure, I wouldn’t see quotes or song lyrics from high school friends that, for some reason, now think they are professional philosophers, but I’d also miss out on utterly random, juicy pieces of gossip—like a slow-motion train wreck divorce that I once saw play out on my newsfeed. That was glorious.

Call me a jerk, but this is the world I’m living in. I will probably make fun of stupid stuff that you say on Facebook in my head, and I would expect you to do the same to me.

(Image: Syda Productions/Shutterstock)

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You can reach this post's author, Bethany Ramos, on twitter.
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  • CMJ


    • LiteBrite

      Benedict/Sherlock lying down. My heart just skipped a couple of beats. :)

  • Crusty Socks

    There’s no setting for you to block me Beth. You’re stuck with me on Mommyish… FOREVER!

    (unless Eve blacklists me. Hello Eve, you’re such a wonderful editor btw!)

    • Bethany Ramos

      You’re stuck with me too!

    • Crusty Socks

      That’s bad why?

    • Valerie

      And you are all stuck with me and my evil Ben Affleck spawn baby.

    • Bethany Ramos

      I will raise it as my own!

    • Valerie

      And his creepy tiny mouth won’t make you hide in your closet all night? You are so brave.

  • Lee

    I feel like you are giving me permission to bitch about something I saw on Facebook yesterday. I saw by far the most offensive, horrible, and disturbing post I have ever seen on the internet ever. It was a pro-life page’s post that someone shared. It was real pictures of a miscarried baby and underneath a aborted baby. I was completely shocked that 1) it was on facebook to begin with and 2) someone I knew in a past like actually shared it. I am still just. . .uggh, I don’t have enough words to say how disgusted I was.

    • Bethany Ramos

      I see that stuff too! Thankfully, rarely.

    • Lee

      People can post all they want about how life is precious but that one just crossed a line. What if you had at 4 or 5 year old kid looking over your shoulder? How would you explain that.

    • Crusty Socks

      Same way you explain Miley Cyrus.

      “Sometimes there are really bad things in the world and we can’t always avoid it.”

    • Shea

      I have two Facebook friends who are super conservative (one ultra Catholic, one your run of the mill country boy evangelical) who are always posting insane things to their pages. The Catholic one usually posts rage-inducing anti-abortion bullshit (posts like the one you describe; mutual friend posts something about whale hunting in Japan, SuperCatholic responds “How can you care about the whales, but not care that millions of babies are being murdered by their mothers every day?!”) and it kind of makes me want to get rid of her, but the other does hilariously out of touch political stuff (poster of Uncle Sam captioned “Hey Democrats, when you werent looking you’re party turned communist!”, glorious spelling/grammatical errors and all), and it’s just way too funny to unfriend him.

    • Véronique Houde

      I have this one Christian friend (god do i regret the day I “converted” him…) who likes posting about how Christians are discriminated against and are being persecuted by society. *sigh*… I can’t help it, sometimes I have to respond and say “bitch please, tell that to every single OTHER religious group in the world and TRY being taken seriously…”

    • Shea

      Ugh, I can’t stand whiny faux martyr Christians. Persecution is being executed for being a particular religion, or not being allowed to go to school, or having to live in a ghetto. It’s not the cashier at the grocery store saying “Happy holidays” to you in December. I wish we could shove these people in a time machine and send them to Poland in 1941 with yellow stars on their clothes. Leave ‘em there for a couple days, then bring them back and ask if they still feel persecuted.

    • Véronique Houde

      ugh i know. the first post was about a couple in GB that had been sued for discrimination by a gay couple for having refused them a room because of their sexual orientation, and were then forced to close their business by the government since they did not want to change their policy to stop discriminating. My old friend thought that they were being persecuted because of their religious beliefs. Thank god that a friend of him (a practicing christian at his church) pointed out that the couple was not being prevented from practicing their religion in the context, but were using their religious beliefs as a veil for their judgment of a couple, and it was opposite of what jesus did by sitting with the “sinners”.

      The second time around, he was bitching that the US government had refused a german couple’s asylum request because they felt that the german government was preventing them from homeschooling their children in order to raise them “christian”, and that they felt as though it was religious discrimination. Obama had a supposed agenda to not consider this family’s right to raise their children in their own religion, when the point of the refusal was that the german government was not preventing the family from practicing their religion and teaching their children their religious beliefs, and that the basis of the education system to remain secular was meant to be inclusive to all individuals in a society, which therefore made them inadmissible for a asylum request. *eyeroll*

    • Shelly Lloyd

      I’m speechless. Recently one of my cousins posted this video clip about a tattoo gone gone wrong it starts with someone getting a tattoo and all of a sudden there is blood everywhere. I’m not really sure what happened since I scrolled pasted it, went back up, paused it and hit the “don’t ever fucking show this shit ever again on my news feed” selection button. I thought that was bad, but I couldn’t imaging an FB “friend” putting pictures of miscarried and/or aborted fetues and babies onto the news feed. Some people are just assholes.

  • brebay

    Exactly. What good are annoying FB friends if you can’t get some amusement and venting out of it!

  • kay

    My husband unfriended my brother’s crazy ex girlfriend when they broke up, and he is missing out on ALL THE JUDGING. He tries to act like his way (where you don’t see 7 posts a day about her cats and complaints that she doesn’t like sunshine in february and such) is better but we all know he’s wrong.

    • Kelly

      I’m kind of sad that I never get to see that stuff because I only friend people who are my actual friends, not acquaintances or friends of friends. But I do have some good friends who will send me screen shots of the really crazy stuff. LOL

    • Bethany Ramos

      You have the better way. :)

    • Crusty Socks

      Can you send me a link to that woman’s profile? I could use a good laugh.

    • kay

      I think she’s got decent privacy settings which is sad because it means the world is missing out on gems like this:

      “My beta fish is flirting with me.

      I put my face next to the tank to watch him, and he swam up to the
      side, flexed his gills but didn’t flare, then turned to show me his full
      fins and became bright blue (his happy color).”

      and constant gems like “No, I didn’t want to sleep, I really wanted to dig a kitten out of the bowels of my dresser.” or “*kitten’s name* is letting me know we are way past bedtime. He really gets upset if he doesn’t get his evening snuggle.” posted several times a day.

    • Guest

      I unfriended one SIL (soon to be ex) and another SIL unfriended me (when my husband and I pointed out that her tits are falling out of her shirt in every photo she posts). I now check their stuff on my husband’s fb whenever it’s nearby because I just can’t get enough of that crazy. So entertaining, like a live Maury/Springer!

  • Melissa

    I, too, once witnessed the dramatic end of a marriage as it played out on facebook status updates, thanks to an over-sharing former classmate. It was spellbinding entertainment! Another friend recently shared that she and her hubby are going to start trying for a baby. Awesomely TMI! My husband hates facebook and almost never uses the account I forced him to create, but he’s happy to look over my shoulder and laugh with me at all the crazies. If it weren’t for annoying/hilarious facebook behavior, I’d probably get bored and quit altogether.

    • Bethany Ramos

      I am jealous. I wouldn’t wish ill per se, but I need more drama on my feed!

    • Melissa

      I don’t wish anyone ill either…but part of me likes when people can admit not everything in their life is perfect, plus the overshares and humblebrags are so darn entertaining. Like trashy reality TV that you are kind of embarrassed to be watching (Rock of Love).

    • Bethany Ramos

      You just reminded me how much I miss Rock of Love (!!!).

    • dy

      I had the same situation for a while. two friends getting divorced. the passive-aggressive status about “someone.” I freaking loved it. I didn’t give two shits about them or their pissy ass problems so I egged them on. I was bored and needed the entertainment.

  • Guest

    I have a FB friend who is super obsessed with her annual vacations. So first she does a countdown til the trip, then live FB posts, then the best part is she does a countback. “only 10 days ago we were here, only 11 days ago we were doing this” My husband is all like “hide her she is obnoxious” and I’m like no way she is cracking me up!

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      Omg the next one will be, “And when we got back to our house we discovered we had been robbed. Here’s some pics of all the reports we had to fill out. Here’s the cop looking at the damage. Why would this happen to us?” You can’t miss that.

  • Jillian

    But if you hide them from your facebook feed you will miss all evidence of their douchebaggery and thus the reason you don’t meet up with them in person in the first place. Keep the oversharing, annoying friends on your feed, I completely agree, so that way you will always be reminded of why they are not your close friends, but rather just casual acquaintances.

  • Shannon

    The self induced train wrecks in my Facebook feed really put my rather mundane life to shame, but that’s okay. When I’m having a bad day, they make me feel a little better.


  • Jallun-Keatres

    LOL a friend from childhood randomly added me of FB a year ago and her facebook is FILLED with popcorn-worthy stuff like alternating between loving her husband and crazy, insecure, cuss-filled rants telling ladies to BACK OFF from her husband. He ended up leaving her for someone else while she is pregnant and I’m really worried because they can barely afford the child they have already so why are they bringing another into the world.

    I feel bad because I know she has something going on (she was selective-mute when I knew her but she trusted me enough to open up to me because I understood) but holy wow much drama.
    Right now every post ends with something along the lines of”…I’m 4 months pregnant I don’t need all this drama!” or “Wish I had REAL FRIENDS who I can go out with!”

  • cabecb

    I unfriend one cousin because he was posting borderline sexually explicit pictures of women. At first, I was hiding pictures that he would post on his feed because I didn’t want to look at what he considered sexy. One picture made it past my block and it was of a girl laying on her side who was only wearing underwear and the way she was positioned I could see her hairless labia. Hairless labia was my limit and I unfriended him at that point.

  • dy

    My feed is filled with either recipes, pictures of damn food, or beaten animals. I can’t decide who should be narrating my newsfeed: Sarah MacLachlan or that dreadful bobblehead, Jennifer Hudson.
    I have one friend who cannot write just a single sentence for a posts that occur at least 6 times a day. I’d much prefer a “Had a great day today!” etc, etc. But instead, its a several paragraphs-long post (every.fucking.time) about how amazing everything in her life is. She uses the word “awesomesauce” at least 4 times a day… she’s 37. I may punch her.

    • Bethany Ramos

      This whole comment made me lol :)

    • mommystired

      Anyone who uses the word “awesomesauce” should be banished from this world.

  • Kheldarson

    There’s only two people I’ve deliberately hidden from my feed or unfriended because of their feed. My uncle who posts nothing but Tea Party rhetoric was hidden after we got into an argument about gay marriage and he decided to judge my status as a Catholic. Another friend who regularly posted stuff making fun of people in terms of opinions or size got removed after I called him on his BS and invited me to “get the **** off his page.” So I did.

    • Harriet Meadow

      I have a younger cousin who has two kids with his on-again off-again girlfriend. They’re both potheads and uber conspiracy-theorists who post constantly about how the government is trying to kill us all and how you can homeopathically cure AIDS and cancer and how everyone should hydroponically grow all their own food. I love seeing pictures of his kiddos, but I finally had to unfriend him when he posted his fifteenth “read this article and I promise you won’t look at vaccines the same way again” article of the month. Usually, I just “hide” people instead of unfriending them, but I was just fed up with him (plus the kiddo pictures were not very forthcoming). The only other time I “unfriend” people is if they delete one of my comments. You know, they post about something controversial and I have a different point of view about it (which I always try to state rationally, because vitriol gets you nowhere), and then they DELETE what I had to say? Yep, I can’t stand that.

  • Annoying is right

    I have one who posts selfies three times a day.

    One in the morning (#work #coastie; #nomakeup)
    One in the afternoon, either with her son (#momlife) or wearing terribly applied makeup (#selfie; #gorgeous)
    And one at night (#sleepy; #bedtime; #nomakeup)

    The woman isn’t exactly gorgeous and loves wearing bright blue eyeshadow and bright pink lipstick, and it seriously looks terrible.

    Her cousin does it twice a day. No matter how hard I try, they slip past my privacy settings.

    • Holly

      I had a vision of someone who looks like Mimi from the Drew Carey Show. (I’m showing my age…)

    • Valerie

      WTF is a coastie?

  • staferny

    I ditched FB when I realized that I didn’t have anything to talk about when I actually saw my friends. “so I just started taking a skydiving co”.. “yeah I saw it on your FB”. “so I built my own vibrator the other d..”, “yeah I saw it on your FB”. Awkward silence and blank stares.
    I do go on my moms every once in a while when I need my fix from my crazy cousin. Mom has front row seats to the rants that come along with her feeling entitled to free babysitting from everyone (because she has 3 kids and no baby-dadies around and needs to go to the bar, duh), the duck lips selfie rotation of pics from 5 years ago (she’s put on 60lbs since then and won’t post anything current), and of course the #singlemomlife #momdoesitall. I would like to dedicate a hashtag just for her: #whitetrash4eva

  • mommystired

    I majorly cleaned up my feed last year because I was sucking at the work-life balance thing. I’m also a social media manager by profession, so you see why being online all day for work could easily get de-railed. However, I kept a select group of my favorite crazies, I call them “my treasures”. Like my trashy friend who live-updates her fights with her baby-daddy in all caps. Sample status: “HE THINKS HE’S GETTING IN THE HOUSE IN THE MORNING BUT JOKES ON HIM, I CHANGED THE MUTHAF@*IN’ LOCKS!!!! HAVE FUN DRINKING WITH YOUR BOYS NOW, BITCH!!”

    • Bethany Ramos

      Oh, I almost forgot that I am following a real life escort that a friend of mine recommended to me for this very reason. She never friended me back because she is a stranger, so why would she? But since I sent a friend request to this “friend of a friend,” I can see all of her slutty escapades and visits to the Playboy mansion in my feed. Stroke of genius.

    • mommystired

      I want to be your friend in real life. You like secret cigs and FB creeping. Two of my darkest pleasures. Confession: I’ve been covertly following a random 50 year old woman since MySpace…she is epic, and public. Her name is Lanette. She has a glass eye and parties in her sports bra, twerks with her pregnant teen daughter, drinks Wild Turkey with Mountain Dew and has been married three times since I first found her in 2007. She takes a lot of selfies and has actually captioned one “Yeahhhh…even with muh glass eye, I still make you other bitches look bad.” She fights with at least one family member a day. My girlfriends and I text each other updates on her life. NO REGRETS.

    • mommystired

      In case you don’t believe me….

    • Bethany Ramos


    • Bethany Ramos

      We are friends now!!!!! :) And oh muh gawd, your description has me lolling! I need this lady in muh social media.

  • LiteBrite

    I keep someone in my feed for this very reason. Normally she’s pretty benign (she’ll post mundane things like “Oh, the sky is blue today!” or “Wow, I love apples!”) but once in awhile all hell breaks loose. Like the time another mutual friend asked her if she just posts whatever comes to mind. There were 50+ comments of trading insults back and forth, and it was glorious. Then there was another time that someone criticized her daughter’s political beliefs. Again 50+ comments of back-and-forth insults like “fat bitch” and “stupid cunt.” And the grammar and spelling! It was out of control.

    Yes, I’m evil and going to hell.

    In my defense though, I do hide a lot of stuff though because it’s just not worth even complaining about.

  • drumskinny

    I can’t stand the compliment fishers. I’ve hidden a person who posts countless selfies but then loves to counter it with “I don’t like taking selfies” or “I’m terrible at taking selfies!” only to have other ppl comment, “Noooo! These are awesome pics!” I also get annoyed with those who post purposefully vague statuses like “Sad” to have ppl respond w/ “What’s wrong?!” “You’re a strong person!” blah de blah de blah!

    • Bethany Ramos

      I hate vague-booking so much!!

    • Valerie

      Vague-booking is a huge part of why I abandoned Facebook a year ago. I could not stand it any longer and it seems like everyone was doing it. I refused to be that stooge going “Ohhh noes! Whatever could be the matter??” I will not encourage attention whores. Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope.

    • echo7341

      I’ve actually seen someone post a vague status, another person asked what was wrong, and the vague status poster said “I’d rather not talk about it”. Cue my head to desk

    • echo7341

      Please have the guts to post something along the lines of “you’re right… you do suck at taking selfies because you look absolutely fugly in this pic”. And then share with us. I would love you forever!

  • aCongaLine

    My least favorite (most? Favorite?) type of Facebook poster is the one that insists that the Facebooks and the Googles are the same.

    I have one of these on my friends list, and I refuse to change her settings, because I derive joy out of eye rolling at her ridiculous posts (ie, “Does anyone know of a plumber in (mytown)?” “How do I clean out breast pump tubes?” “Anyone know how to get to (super famous restuarant) in (big city not far away)? I have no idea how to get there… train? bus? car?” “How many poops should my 6 month old be making?”) These queries could easily be cleared up in 20 seconds using Google. But nope, she’s on the Facebooks.

    Every once in a while, I type in “Google.” in her comment box on her posts. Mostly I just eye roll, and am entertained.

  • Jordana

    HAHAHAHA and I love listening to you complain about them! I had a nightmare that facebook published reports of everyone I had removed from my news feed and I had 90% of my facebook friends raging at me lol. Hope that one doesn’t come true!

    • Bethany Ramos

      Omg that better not come true, or I am screwed!!

  • echo7341

    Finally someone understands me, @bethanyramos:disqus! I do this all the time. There is this one chick I knew in high school (we weren’t even friends) and she constantly posts complainy, whiny status, like the following:

    “Seriously? Rain? Ugh. I have to go walk to the office to renew my lease and pay rent and Trixie will NOT go potty in this weather at all. Ugh! I hate today. Dumb weekends”

    Like, OMG, you have to walk from your apartment to the office and their are life ruining drops of doom falling out of the sky. WORLD ENDING.


    I am so freaking tired of life! My car took a crap yet again and I love the feeling that I’m being blown off for someone else. So much for the last bit of support and last person I had to turn to. Thanks”

    She is talking to her boyfriend (supposedly… I don’t think he actually exists)… WHO DOES NOT HAVE A FACEBOOK. I love hating on her. So entertaining.

    • Bethany Ramos

      These are the people I love to hate! I also have an ultra-dramatic person on my feed that says stuff like, “I just don’t even know anymore…Sigh.” You have got to be fucking kidding me. But I can’t look away!

  • SA

    People who get hidden from my new feed #1) If you have ever posted a picture of an aborted baby #2) If all you do is post links to tea party articles on highly suspect websites #3) If you post more than 2 “motivational posters” a day.

    I keep the girl that updates every 5 minutes of her life. I definitely keep the person that posted updates of passing a kidney stone in real time (w/ PICS!). And I definitely keep my high school frenemy who constantly posts #humblebrags and odd sexy, pouting, pregnant selfies. Facebook would be NOTHING without posts like these!