• Tue, Mar 4 - 2:00 pm ET

Childfree Or Not, You Will Waste Hours On This Baby Face Generator

shutterstock_170033009Didn’t you always wonder what your future babies would look like as you wrote your boyfriend’s name in bubble letters in your spiral notebook? Well, it isn’t the 90s anymore, and technology has arrived.

When I was pregnant, I stumbled upon a few ridiculous baby face generator websites. My God, forget sonograms and looking at your actual blurry alien baby in the womb. That is for chumps. The baby face generator is totally addicting.

Here’s how it works:

  1. You upload a picture of your face.
  2. You upload a picture of your partner’s (or any other random celebrity) face.
  3. Technology merges these faces to make a baby face.
  4. Hilarity ensues.

What I love most about the baby face generator is that it is so terribly inaccurate. All of my babies came out looking like either a troll or a leprechaun. I found these babies so frightening that I started to use them as engagement and wedding gifts.

Hear me out—a friend of mine was getting married, and I was about to ship her wedding gift. But the gift wouldn’t be complete without a creepy future baby’s face, would it? I scraped her and her fiancé’s faces off Facebook to generate the perfect troll leprechaun baby (complete with a hat!). She told me that she was legitimately frightened when she opened her wedding card and the horrific baby picture fell out. Mission accomplished.

Here is a picture of what me and my husband’s fake baby would look like:

liam

Here is a picture of our actual babies:

kids

You be the judge. I’m probably going to spend hours on this stupid website even though I already had two kids of my own and don’t plan on anymore. Please frighten me with pictures of your creepy troll babies in the comments section. I think we can all agree that they have a “face only a mother could love.”

(Image:  leungchopan/Shutterstock)

You can reach this post's author, Bethany Ramos, on twitter.
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  • MegzWray

    Whelp, there goes my productive afternoon.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Please show me your #devilbaby!

    • MegzWray

      Me and Brad Pitt. Cause that will happen.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Wait, this baby is kinda cute….:)

    • Rowan

      I dunno. He looks like he’ll grow up to be that sanctimonious little scrote that gets beaten up a lot. “Well, actually, I think you’ll find that the linguistic interpretation of Dora the Explorer is over-simplified…”

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

    • MegzWray

      He actually reminds me of old paintings where kids looked like miniature adults rather than kids. Thank goodness Brad is open to adoption!

    • Valerie

      Ahoy, devil baby!

  • bs

    I know what my nightmare is going to revolve around tonight.

  • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

    I USED A PIC OF ME AND YOUR DRUNK PICTURE FROM FACEBOOK AND MADE US THE UGLIEST BABY EVER

    • Bethany Ramos

      EVE!!!! HAHAHHAHAH

    • Maria Guido

      Eve and Bethany – your baby is desperately in need of some iron.

    • Bethany Ramos

      It’s like a fugly ghost.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      This is you and some stock photo dude holding a hand gun

    • Bethany Ramos

      HAHAHAHHA I am cry-laughing!

    • Maria Guido

      Why is mine in a hard hat? Wtf???

    • bs

      It looks like the kid from the omen

    • Crusty Socks

      Post more drunk Beth pics!!!

      In fact, everyone should do a Beth drunk pic

    • Bethany Ramos

      Lol everyone should use drunk pics to make their babies, kinda like real life…

    • Crusty Socks

      LOL

    • Valerie

      I second this!

  • Alene

    I do not like this child’s facial expression. “That’s right. I exist somewhere in your loins. Go ahead. Try NOT to make me.”

    • Bethany Ramos

      So fucking smug! You and your man are very cute. :)

    • Alene

      Our real live daughter is much less serial-killer-esque. (And thank you! That was a day full of fantastic makeup and lighting.)

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      HAHAHA.

    • 21foot house

      I had a roommate in uni that looked just like this…

  • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

    Me and The G Man

    • Bethany Ramos

      SHUT UP!!!!!

    • Alene

      This looks like Crispin Glover without eyebrows.

    • Bethany Ramos

      I am cry-laughing at this comment too!

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I am so sad it isn’t purple

    • Rowan

      What’s terrifying is that this looks a bit like the kid I’d apparently have with my partner. Probably a good thing I’m past it, then!

  • Guest
  • Lee

    This is terrifying.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      By terrifying you mean the most fun ever

  • Lee

    Here.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Ooooooh so mysterious!

  • Lee

    This one is with my husband.

    • Lee

      This is our actual son,

    • Bethany Ramos

      Your actual kid is adorable!! The other one….

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      this is some sort of gap baby!

    • Lee

      Haha, thanks!

    • Rowan

      That kid is “hey, bitch, buy me that toy or I’m going to shove this stick so far up your nose that the Fantastic Voyage crew couldn’t find it!”

    • Crusty Socks

      HUH? Your hubby doesn’t look black???

    • Lee

      He isn’t. So confusing. We are both pale as hell, as well as our offspring.

    • Crusty Socks

      Lee, is there something you need to confess? >:(

    • Lee

      Okay, it is finally coming out. This is actually the love child of my internet lover and myself. My husband is listed on the birth certificate though.

    • Crusty Socks
  • Megan Zander

    Indulged my JT fantasy. Glad it’s just a fantasy, because I would say byebyebye to this monster.
    http://www.makemebabies.com/viewbaby.php?server_id=3&folder_id=1403044&image_name=wb20140304025242bd433ed0361daa4228fc4810151bbb25.jpg&baby_name=&o=s

    • Bethany Ramos

      OMG that baby freaks me out lol.

    • Maria Guido

      hahahah

  • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

    Here is the big ear monster baby that Prince and I would have

    • Maria Guido

      omg – that is horrifying.

    • Bethany Ramos

      That FOREHEAD.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      You mean fivehead. Or possibly six.

    • Lee

      #blessed

  • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

    Ok probably my fault for not being able to find head-on shots but seriously this is a wonky baby.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      Our actual baby is much better. And making me glad we didn’t use any of my genes.

    • Lee

      Squee!

    • Bethany Ramos

      Love!!!!

    • JLH1986

      What is going on with that eye??

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      It’s trying to escape???

    • JLH1986

      That’s a good possibility! It’s melting off!

  • JLH1986

    No idea why the kid has red hair?

    • Bethany Ramos

      Hahahaha I think you and your husband will make a much cuter kid! ;)

    • JLH1986

      Jesus God I hope so! lol

    • Lee

      This one looks like Bethany and Emily’s troll babies too.

  • Emily Wight

    This is my favourite new website. I’m matching up all my coworkers and emailing them their hideous future babies. I really need to get something done this afternoon, but …

    • Emily Wight

      Here’s the actual kid we produced. A bit better, I think?

    • Maria Guido

      He is SOOOO CUTE.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Your troll baby looks like MY troll baby! And your real kid is soooooooo cute. :)

    • Emily Wight

      Maybe we are distantly related and share our recessive troll genes?!

      Also, thanks :)

  • meteor_echo

    And why exactly would a childfree person spend time messing with a baby face generator? It’s the exact thing that we don’t see any use in because we don’t particularly care. We don’t need to see how we’d look as half of a mini-me.

    • Jessie

      Maybe we don’t NEED to, but it’s still fun for some of us. I don’t ever plan on having kids, and it’s not like this thing is even REMOTELY accurate (see my Tom Hiddleston baby below, or ANY of the other pics, for proof), so it’s just some harmless fun/procrastination fodder… Or in my case, up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-with-nothing-better-to-do fodder.

    • meteor_echo

      Well, I guess there’s that :) My own nothing-better-to-do-fodder is watching anime and eating candy at night, so yeah.

    • Jessie

      Anime is also a good nothing-better-to-do fodder, I fully endorse watching anime until your eyes morph into shiny magical-girl eyes. :D
      Also I just realized I said “below” when I meant “above.” Herpaderp.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      BECAUSE THIS IS THE MOST FUN EVER AND IF YOU DIDN;T HAVE TO REMOVE ALL YOUR PICS DO TO CREEPY STALKER I WOULD MORPH YOU WITH A ALIEN SO STFU METEOR xo

  • Snarktopus

    So….yeah. Not sure what about this baby creeps me out, but…just…something.

    • Snarktopus

      My actual baby girl, if anyone was wondering.

    • Bethany Ramos

      So cute! (The real one :))

    • Snarktopus

      Also, apparently stealth advertising for Claire’s….>.<

    • Valerie

      That baby looks like Dr. Evil.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      he looks exactly like a tiny Chris Penn.

  • Garavriel

    Hahaha, it’s terrifying! Also, I have no idea why the photos are all ever which way, my computer likes to randomly rotate photos I took on my phone,

    • Bethany Ramos

      Necktie!!

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      why is your baby a business baby????

  • LiteBrite

    Here is little Johannesburg. He kind of looks like Chuckie.

    • Bethany Ramos

      I love this evil baby!

    • LiteBrite

      And to think, Benedict and I made him together….

    • jane

      No. He looks exactly like Chuckie.

  • Rachel Sea

    This baby knows where the bodies are buried…because he put them there.

    • Bethany Ramos

      OMFG hahaha

  • Jallun-Keatres

    The girl baby for me and my husband is actually scarily accurate. MK has almost every feature it decided to take. (it was MorphThing though)

    • Jallun-Keatres

      Here’s the girl and boy taken from some neutral pics of us we used for that “rate my face using symmetry” meme. Crazy stuff!

    • Bethany Ramos

      Whoa! Those look way cuter though haha.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      I also morphed me and my sister together and got this:

    • Bethany Ramos

      Aww, that is so cute!

    • Jallun-Keatres

      Freaked my mom right out. My sister got a kick out of it too XD

  • Jayess

    it frightens me that the generator knew to put our Monster!baby in swimgear. I didn’t even choose the pic of my husband scuba diving! wtf?

    • Bethany Ramos

      YES! So cute/disturbing :)

  • Valerie

    Me and my Ben Affleck baby

    • Valerie

      Why such a tiny mouth?? Me and Ben have huge mouths. We always laugh about that together on our dates.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Hahaha I love this. Such a tight-lipped bebe.

  • 21foot house

    I did my dogs, because I’m “that” lady…
    Actually it’s because those are the only photos I had on this hard drive (and I’m “that” lady)
    I like how it had no idea what to do with the ears so it hid them
    http://www.makemebabies.com/viewbaby.php?server_id=3&folder_id=1403051&image_name=wb201403051200052ffab7e9eb0b5a1a5813d13f59e64cd9.jpg&baby_name=&o=s

    • Bethany Ramos

      WHY IS THE DOG BABY SO CUTE??

  • Jessie

    GUYS. GUYS I MADE A BABY WITH TOM HIDDLESTON (because you CAN’T give me this kind of power under ANY circumstances and expect me NOT to make a HIddleston baby) AND EVEN THOUGH HIS HAIR IS BLACK HERE AND MINE IS PURPLE IT CAME OUT BLONDE?! I DON’T EVEN.

    • Jessie

      *Hiddleston
      Also here is what mine and my actual husband’s baby looks like… Not TOO awful, but still kinda WTF. And what is with that weird 90′s-esque hat and what appears to be a denim shirt? I was unaware that having a baby would result in spontaneous time travel… Wait, is my baby a Time Lord?! Cause that would be absolutely copacetic with me. :D

    • Jessie

      Though I think I got gypped cause I have absolutely ZERO good pictures of my husband. The man is adorably handsome normally, but for some reason can’t take a good picture to save his life. So I think that messed up the equation a bit.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Hahah this baby cracks me up – totally 90s.

    • Jessie

      Well, my husband and I WERE both 90′s kids. I guess our baby wants to REPRESENT. #Awkward90′sSlang #I’llShowMyselfOut

    • Bethany Ramos

      LOL – I just did “raise the roof” in your honor!

    • Bethany Ramos

      This baby is creepy cute!!!

    • Jessie

      It is, actually, in a totally creepy way. If the face wasn’t so smushed together it might look half normal!

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      he looks related to my grimace baby!

    • Jessie

      Oh my gods he totally does… Does that mean Tom and Grimace are related? Or are we secretly related? OR are you secretly one of Tom Hiddleston’s sisters and you are holding out on us all, because if you are SO HELP ME GODS. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

  • Liz

    Wouldn’t want to post one with my man’s face for the sake of his privacy, but the ones between me and him were hilarious–for some reason one was wearing a turban and a look of disapproval.

    Instead I present the stoned looking spawn of myself and Orlando Bloom (That I will totally send to him somehow like a complete stalker):

    http://makemebabies.com/shared/4/baby/1403054/babywb201403050206138a4186c379aafe60b65f2cfc2d41205f.jpg

    • Bethany Ramos

      Please send this to Orlando!! I am so sad I missed the “turban and a look of disapproval.” LOL!

  • http://www.ambiencechaser.com/ Elizabeth Licata

    My baby is kind of creepy!

    • Bethany Ramos

      Haha yes! But you are so pretty!

  • Guest

    Why is it blonde? Neither of us are blonde, neither of us have ever BEEN blonde!

  • Shea

    Why is it blonde? Neither of us is blonde, neither of us has ever BEEN blonde!
    (have covered my dude’s face for the sake of his privacy)

    • Bethany Ramos

      My creeper was blonde too! Yours is pretty cute…

    • Shea

      It looks a little too all-knowing for my comfort. It’s like “I like to watch you and daddy sleep…”

  • Jaimee Voth

    I tried it! Apparently my pale, blue-eyed, straight-haired self and my pale, blue-eyed and freckly, and straight-haired husband can expect a very dark-skinned, black-eyed, dark, curly-haired baby.

  • Tea

    Nooooooo, no children of the uncanny valley for me, thanks.

    • Bethany Ramos

      #doit

  • alanadawn

    LOL look at this forehead!!

  • alanadawn

    and how is it so dark? LOL

  • stacy

    Late to the discussion but my friend lucked out with Jared from Supernatural.

  • Shay

    My husband and I looks pretty possible lol