Childfree Or Not, You Will Waste Hours On This Baby Face Generator

shutterstock_170033009Didn’t you always wonder what your future babies would look like as you wrote your boyfriend’s name in bubble letters in your spiral notebook? Well, it isn’t the 90s anymore, and technology has arrived.

When I was pregnant, I stumbled upon a few ridiculous baby face generator websites. My God, forget sonograms and looking at your actual blurry alien baby in the womb. That is for chumps. The baby face generator is totally addicting.

Here’s how it works:

  1. You upload a picture of your face.
  2. You upload a picture of your partner’s (or any other random celebrity) face.
  3. Technology merges these faces to make a baby face.
  4. Hilarity ensues.

What I love most about the baby face generator is that it is so terribly inaccurate. All of my babies came out looking like either a troll or a leprechaun. I found these babies so frightening that I started to use them as engagement and wedding gifts.

Hear me out—a friend of mine was getting married, and I was about to ship her wedding gift. But the gift wouldn’t be complete without a creepy future baby’s face, would it? I scraped her and her fiancé’s faces off Facebook to generate the perfect troll leprechaun baby (complete with a hat!). She told me that she was legitimately frightened when she opened her wedding card and the horrific baby picture fell out. Mission accomplished.

Here is a picture of what me and my husband’s fake baby would look like:

liam

Here is a picture of our actual babies:

kids

You be the judge. I’m probably going to spend hours on this stupid website even though I already had two kids of my own and don’t plan on anymore. Please frighten me with pictures of your creepy troll babies in the comments section. I think we can all agree that they have a “face only a mother could love.”

(Image:  leungchopan/Shutterstock)

You can reach this post's author, Bethany Ramos, on twitter.
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    • MegzWray

      Whelp, there goes my productive afternoon.

      • Bethany Ramos

        Please show me your #devilbaby!

      • MegzWray

        Me and Brad Pitt. Cause that will happen.

      • Bethany Ramos

        Wait, this baby is kinda cute….:)

      • Rowan

        I dunno. He looks like he’ll grow up to be that sanctimonious little scrote that gets beaten up a lot. “Well, actually, I think you’ll find that the linguistic interpretation of Dora the Explorer is over-simplified…”

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

      • MegzWray

        He actually reminds me of old paintings where kids looked like miniature adults rather than kids. Thank goodness Brad is open to adoption!

      • Valerie

        Ahoy, devil baby!

    • bs

      I know what my nightmare is going to revolve around tonight.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I USED A PIC OF ME AND YOUR DRUNK PICTURE FROM FACEBOOK AND MADE US THE UGLIEST BABY EVER

      • Bethany Ramos

        EVE!!!! HAHAHHAHAH

      • Maria Guido

        Eve and Bethany – your baby is desperately in need of some iron.

      • Bethany Ramos

        It’s like a fugly ghost.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        This is you and some stock photo dude holding a hand gun

      • Bethany Ramos

        HAHAHAHHA I am cry-laughing!

      • Maria Guido

        Why is mine in a hard hat? Wtf???

      • bs

        It looks like the kid from the omen

      • Crusty Socks

        Post more drunk Beth pics!!!

        In fact, everyone should do a Beth drunk pic

      • Bethany Ramos

        Lol everyone should use drunk pics to make their babies, kinda like real life…

      • Crusty Socks

        LOL

      • Valerie

        I second this!

    • Alene

      I do not like this child’s facial expression. “That’s right. I exist somewhere in your loins. Go ahead. Try NOT to make me.”

      • Bethany Ramos

        So fucking smug! You and your man are very cute. :)

      • Alene

        Our real live daughter is much less serial-killer-esque. (And thank you! That was a day full of fantastic makeup and lighting.)

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        HAHAHA.

      • 21foot house

        I had a roommate in uni that looked just like this…

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      Me and The G Man

      • Bethany Ramos

        SHUT UP!!!!!

      • Alene

        This looks like Crispin Glover without eyebrows.

      • Bethany Ramos

        I am cry-laughing at this comment too!

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        I am so sad it isn’t purple

      • Rowan

        What’s terrifying is that this looks a bit like the kid I’d apparently have with my partner. Probably a good thing I’m past it, then!

    • Guest
    • Lee

      This is terrifying.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        By terrifying you mean the most fun ever

    • Lee

      Here.

      • Bethany Ramos

        Ooooooh so mysterious!

    • Lee

      This one is with my husband.

      • Lee

        This is our actual son,

      • Bethany Ramos

        Your actual kid is adorable!! The other one….

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        this is some sort of gap baby!

      • Lee

        Haha, thanks!

      • Rowan

        That kid is “hey, bitch, buy me that toy or I’m going to shove this stick so far up your nose that the Fantastic Voyage crew couldn’t find it!”

      • Crusty Socks

        HUH? Your hubby doesn’t look black???

      • Lee

        He isn’t. So confusing. We are both pale as hell, as well as our offspring.

      • Crusty Socks

        Lee, is there something you need to confess? >:(

      • Lee

        Okay, it is finally coming out. This is actually the love child of my internet lover and myself. My husband is listed on the birth certificate though.

      • Crusty Socks
    • Megan Zander

      Indulged my JT fantasy. Glad it’s just a fantasy, because I would say byebyebye to this monster.
      http://www.makemebabies.com/viewbaby.php?server_id=3&folder_id=1403044&image_name=wb20140304025242bd433ed0361daa4228fc4810151bbb25.jpg&baby_name=&o=s

      • Bethany Ramos

        OMG that baby freaks me out lol.

      • Maria Guido

        hahahah

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      Here is the big ear monster baby that Prince and I would have

      • Maria Guido

        omg – that is horrifying.

      • Bethany Ramos

        That FOREHEAD.

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        You mean fivehead. Or possibly six.

      • Lee

        #blessed

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      Ok probably my fault for not being able to find head-on shots but seriously this is a wonky baby.

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        Our actual baby is much better. And making me glad we didn’t use any of my genes.

      • Lee

        Squee!

      • Bethany Ramos

        Love!!!!

      • JLH1986

        What is going on with that eye??

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        It’s trying to escape???

      • JLH1986

        That’s a good possibility! It’s melting off!

    • JLH1986

      No idea why the kid has red hair?

      • Bethany Ramos

        Hahahaha I think you and your husband will make a much cuter kid! ;)

      • JLH1986

        Jesus God I hope so! lol

      • Lee

        This one looks like Bethany and Emily’s troll babies too.

    • Emily Wight

      This is my favourite new website. I’m matching up all my coworkers and emailing them their hideous future babies. I really need to get something done this afternoon, but …

      • Emily Wight

        Here’s the actual kid we produced. A bit better, I think?

      • Maria Guido

        He is SOOOO CUTE.

      • Bethany Ramos

        Your troll baby looks like MY troll baby! And your real kid is soooooooo cute. :)

      • Emily Wight

        Maybe we are distantly related and share our recessive troll genes?!

        Also, thanks :)

    • meteor_echo

      And why exactly would a childfree person spend time messing with a baby face generator? It’s the exact thing that we don’t see any use in because we don’t particularly care. We don’t need to see how we’d look as half of a mini-me.

      • Jessie

        Maybe we don’t NEED to, but it’s still fun for some of us. I don’t ever plan on having kids, and it’s not like this thing is even REMOTELY accurate (see my Tom Hiddleston baby below, or ANY of the other pics, for proof), so it’s just some harmless fun/procrastination fodder… Or in my case, up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-with-nothing-better-to-do fodder.

      • meteor_echo

        Well, I guess there’s that :) My own nothing-better-to-do-fodder is watching anime and eating candy at night, so yeah.

      • Jessie

        Anime is also a good nothing-better-to-do fodder, I fully endorse watching anime until your eyes morph into shiny magical-girl eyes. :D
        Also I just realized I said “below” when I meant “above.” Herpaderp.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        BECAUSE THIS IS THE MOST FUN EVER AND IF YOU DIDN;T HAVE TO REMOVE ALL YOUR PICS DO TO CREEPY STALKER I WOULD MORPH YOU WITH A ALIEN SO STFU METEOR xo

    • Snarktopus

      So….yeah. Not sure what about this baby creeps me out, but…just…something.

      • Snarktopus

        My actual baby girl, if anyone was wondering.

      • Bethany Ramos

        So cute! (The real one :))

      • Snarktopus

        Also, apparently stealth advertising for Claire’s….>.<

      • Valerie

        That baby looks like Dr. Evil.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        he looks exactly like a tiny Chris Penn.

    • Garavriel

      Hahaha, it’s terrifying! Also, I have no idea why the photos are all ever which way, my computer likes to randomly rotate photos I took on my phone,

      • Bethany Ramos

        Necktie!!

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        why is your baby a business baby????

    • LiteBrite

      Here is little Johannesburg. He kind of looks like Chuckie.

      • Bethany Ramos

        I love this evil baby!

      • LiteBrite

        And to think, Benedict and I made him together….

      • jane

        No. He looks exactly like Chuckie.

    • Rachel Sea

      This baby knows where the bodies are buried…because he put them there.

      • Bethany Ramos

        OMFG hahaha

    • Jallun-Keatres

      The girl baby for me and my husband is actually scarily accurate. MK has almost every feature it decided to take. (it was MorphThing though)

      • Jallun-Keatres

        Here’s the girl and boy taken from some neutral pics of us we used for that “rate my face using symmetry” meme. Crazy stuff!

      • Bethany Ramos

        Whoa! Those look way cuter though haha.

      • Jallun-Keatres

        I also morphed me and my sister together and got this:

      • Bethany Ramos

        Aww, that is so cute!

      • Jallun-Keatres

        Freaked my mom right out. My sister got a kick out of it too XD

    • Jayess

      it frightens me that the generator knew to put our Monster!baby in swimgear. I didn’t even choose the pic of my husband scuba diving! wtf?

      • Bethany Ramos

        YES! So cute/disturbing :)

    • Valerie

      Me and my Ben Affleck baby

      • Valerie

        Why such a tiny mouth?? Me and Ben have huge mouths. We always laugh about that together on our dates.

      • Bethany Ramos

        Hahaha I love this. Such a tight-lipped bebe.

    • 21foot house

      I did my dogs, because I’m “that” lady…
      Actually it’s because those are the only photos I had on this hard drive (and I’m “that” lady)
      I like how it had no idea what to do with the ears so it hid them
      http://www.makemebabies.com/viewbaby.php?server_id=3&folder_id=1403051&image_name=wb201403051200052ffab7e9eb0b5a1a5813d13f59e64cd9.jpg&baby_name=&o=s

      • Bethany Ramos

        WHY IS THE DOG BABY SO CUTE??

    • Jessie

      GUYS. GUYS I MADE A BABY WITH TOM HIDDLESTON (because you CAN’T give me this kind of power under ANY circumstances and expect me NOT to make a HIddleston baby) AND EVEN THOUGH HIS HAIR IS BLACK HERE AND MINE IS PURPLE IT CAME OUT BLONDE?! I DON’T EVEN.

      • Jessie

        *Hiddleston
        Also here is what mine and my actual husband’s baby looks like… Not TOO awful, but still kinda WTF. And what is with that weird 90′s-esque hat and what appears to be a denim shirt? I was unaware that having a baby would result in spontaneous time travel… Wait, is my baby a Time Lord?! Cause that would be absolutely copacetic with me. :D

      • Jessie

        Though I think I got gypped cause I have absolutely ZERO good pictures of my husband. The man is adorably handsome normally, but for some reason can’t take a good picture to save his life. So I think that messed up the equation a bit.

      • Bethany Ramos

        Hahah this baby cracks me up – totally 90s.

      • Jessie

        Well, my husband and I WERE both 90′s kids. I guess our baby wants to REPRESENT. #Awkward90′sSlang #I’llShowMyselfOut

      • Bethany Ramos

        LOL – I just did “raise the roof” in your honor!

      • Bethany Ramos

        This baby is creepy cute!!!

      • Jessie

        It is, actually, in a totally creepy way. If the face wasn’t so smushed together it might look half normal!

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        he looks related to my grimace baby!

      • Jessie

        Oh my gods he totally does… Does that mean Tom and Grimace are related? Or are we secretly related? OR are you secretly one of Tom Hiddleston’s sisters and you are holding out on us all, because if you are SO HELP ME GODS. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

    • Liz

      Wouldn’t want to post one with my man’s face for the sake of his privacy, but the ones between me and him were hilarious–for some reason one was wearing a turban and a look of disapproval.

      Instead I present the stoned looking spawn of myself and Orlando Bloom (That I will totally send to him somehow like a complete stalker):

      http://makemebabies.com/shared/4/baby/1403054/babywb201403050206138a4186c379aafe60b65f2cfc2d41205f.jpg

      • Bethany Ramos

        Please send this to Orlando!! I am so sad I missed the “turban and a look of disapproval.” LOL!

    • http://www.ambiencechaser.com/ Elizabeth Licata

      My baby is kind of creepy!

      • Bethany Ramos

        Haha yes! But you are so pretty!

    • Guest

      Why is it blonde? Neither of us are blonde, neither of us have ever BEEN blonde!

    • Shea

      Why is it blonde? Neither of us is blonde, neither of us has ever BEEN blonde!
      (have covered my dude’s face for the sake of his privacy)

      • Bethany Ramos

        My creeper was blonde too! Yours is pretty cute…

      • Shea

        It looks a little too all-knowing for my comfort. It’s like “I like to watch you and daddy sleep…”

    • Jaimee Voth

      I tried it! Apparently my pale, blue-eyed, straight-haired self and my pale, blue-eyed and freckly, and straight-haired husband can expect a very dark-skinned, black-eyed, dark, curly-haired baby.

    • Tea

      Nooooooo, no children of the uncanny valley for me, thanks.

      • Bethany Ramos

        #doit

    • alanadawn

      LOL look at this forehead!!

    • alanadawn

      and how is it so dark? LOL

    • stacy

      Late to the discussion but my friend lucked out with Jared from Supernatural.

    • Shay

      My husband and I looks pretty possible lol