People Seriously Need To Shut Up About About Gabourey Sidibe

86th Annual Academy Awards - ArrivalsI absolutely love Gabourey Sidibe. I think she is an incredible actress. It always floors me that people have such an ISSUE with her, whether it’s that she is a dark skinned black woman or that she is a size we aren’t accustomed to seeing in Hollywood productions. I guess I really don’t get it. What does it take away from anyone to have someone who isn’t white, blond, and a size zero appearing in movies and television? Do you personally lose a birthday by seeing her in movies and TV? Because Gabby exists does it cause your tacos to be less delicious or your hair to be less shiny or for you to get a parking ticket? I’m not naive, I know there are assholes all over this earth doing what assholes do best, ass-holing it up, but what does scare me is that these people are out there breeding.

Last night was a great night for women in some ways, we had Frozen, a story about sisterly love win for best animated film, and we all swooned over Lupita Nyong’o and her beautiful acceptance speech:

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But the sad truth is, out of all of movies that were nominated, none of them were directed by a woman. And the other sad truth is, when you have an actress like Gabourey Sidibe, who is not what is considered stereotypically beautiful, people sure do have an issue with it.

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I’m from a world that believes that if everyone were exactly the same it would be a very boring place to live. I think many different women of different ages and sizes and colors are beautiful. I’m raising my kids to think the same. Yes, Gabby may not look like Lupita or Jennifer Lawrence or Julia Roberts, but does this fact detract from her beauty or the fact she is an amazingly talented actress? I’m always happy when we see more diverse women in big Hollywood movies, but judging by the reaction of the Twitosphere, it still isn’t  enough. I’m happy all the little girls who are going to grow up to be the size of Lupita have a beautiful new princess to look up to, I guess I just wish that the little girls who grow up to look like Gabby are seen as beautiful too.

(Image: getty/twitter)

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    • Kay_Sue

      And I see that my previously mentioned strategy of going into any post featuring Twitter screencaps believing said caps will show the absolute worst of human nature holds true. #Barf #Vom #Regurgitation

      • Crusty Socks

        #needpepto

      • My Oubliette

        #nauseaheartburnindigestionupsetstomachdiarrhea

    • whiteroses

      Gabourey is an amazing actress. That’s really all that matters.
      These idiots are just trying to piggyback off her for their fifteen minutes- even if they’re being evil, hey, at least people are listening, amirite?
      Morons.

    • pixie

      Ok, so, she’s a big girl. But I just googled a full body shot of her in her dress from last night (because I didn’t get to see the oscars due to being stuck on a train…) and it looks wonderful on her. It hugs her in all the right places, gives her a nice shape, and fits her wonderfully. She might not be a tiny little white girl, but she still looked fabulous.
      And I’ve never seen her in a movie (that I know of), but if you guys say she’s a great actress, I’ll believe it. :)

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        Precious. You had to have seen that

      • pixie

        Actually, I never got around to watching that. I’ve been meaning to but keep forgetting!

      • G.E. Phillips

        Go rent it immediately, it’s fantastic. Even Mariah Carey is pretty good in it!

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        OH another freaky fact? Mariah was in 12 years a slave!

      • rrlo

        Be warned – it has some EXTREMELY sad parts in it. Like traumatized for days kind of sad :( (Precious – not Coven).

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        so much so. I cried like mad

      • Kay_Sue

        I loved her in American Horror Story: Coven too. She’s amazeballs.

      • LiteBrite

        She was so bad ass in there. I loved her. :)

      • Kay_Sue

        I know. The whole human voo doo doll was a pretty nifty ability.

      • Sarah

        I knew I recognized her from somewhere. That movie was awesome, even though it did make me cry.

      • My Oubliette

        Seconded. It’s sad, unsettling, and disturbing, but one of the most important things about a movie IMO is that it makes you feel something. And HOLY RABID RATS does Precious accomplish this!

        Damn, I just re-read your post, Eve, and you said she must have seen it, not she has to see it…but I still want to make the point I made.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      I’m waiting for the comment that says some BS about how we shouldn’t ‘celebrate’ her because that would ‘encourage obesity’ and don’t we care about the health of the children?

      Because we should instead make sure that all big people hate themselves, obviously.

      • http://mother--bored.tumblr.com/ Aimee Ogden

        Yeah, with the current state of the media it would be soooo easy for any fat person to not realize that their body shape is not the socially preferred one! Or that exercise and eating vegetables are good for you! (and it’s not like anyone has any barriers to doing either of those, cough cough) (or that some people eat well and exercise and are still fat because bodies do what bodies want, cough cough) So we should probably scream at them to eat a spinach salad till they never want to leave the house. BECAUSE WE JUST WANT TO DO WHAT’S IN THEIR BEST INTERESTS. uh-huh.

      • Really ?

        If you are a parent than it is your responsibility to make sure that your child eats healthy not holly woods. That’s the problem now everyone always wants to blame celebs they didn’t have your children you did. There have always been heavier people in the industry. You know why kids are so overweight in America because they spend to much time on the computer, watching tv, and playing video games. That’s the parents fault. Government tried to make school lunches healthier because they really are filled with grease and fat but parents complain that they didn’t want the government telling their children what to eat. So schools went back to hamburgers,pizza, and hot dogs. Do you know what’s in a hot dog ? A lot of people don’t because the FDA is required not to tell you 25% of what goes In their. Do you understand the problem. Instead of parents constantly attacking celebs try talking to people who can actually make a difference. Like the FDA or talk to the school to see of they can serve healthier lunches

      • Really ?

        *last sentence I meant (if)

    • Abbe

      I think she is a great actress, and I absolutely do not agree with the mean comments about her weight, but she does need to lose some weight for her OWN health and well being, not to conform to societal norms. She IS beautiful, and no one is saying that she needs to morph into Julia Roberts, but at the size she is right now she is going to die of heart failure. She can still be a bigger girl but be healthier, and she can love the size she is now but she should love her self enough to want to still be alive in the next 5-10 years.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        … I am happy that we have her doctor here!

      • Abbe

        Why the snark? So my opinion is not as valid as that of a mommy blogger?
        Never said I was a doctor, just said that is obese, and that’s not good for anyone (says 99% of real doctors everywhere)

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        You have no clue how healthy she is. ZERO. you are not her doctor, you do not know her blood pressure, or what her stats are, or anything, so basically, you have zero idea about her health. zero. And nice try with the MOMMY BLOGGER thing

      • Abbe

        I said that because I don’t like the fact that I’m being piled-on but commenters and YOU for (nicely and maturely) stating that maybe being that obese is not healthy. You’re right, she could be the one person out of a million that it that weight and totally healthy but chances are, probably not. I am not ‘personally offended’ by anyone’s weight or any of that bullshit. You’re saying that her being morbidly obese is cool, I’m saying that statistically that’s not the case. Go and attack statistics

      • Kelly

        There’s nothing nice or polite or mature about making personal judgments about someone else’s body. I guess you missed Basic Etiquette 101.

      • Abbe

        Those twitter comments comparing her to a NFL linebacker, THOSE were mean-spirited. As I mentioned in another comment, my doctor told me to lose 15lbs and I didn’t throw a hissy fit and start calling her names like the weight police. Nothing I said was in the spirit of being judgey, unlike you.

      • CMJ

        Um, that’s your doctor. Who told you to lose weight. None of us are Gaby’s doctors….I think that’s the point a lot of us are trying to make.

      • Abbe

        I recently read an article where Gabourey’s mom said that Gabby wanted to lose a little weight, so please now direct hate mail to her mom

      • My Oubliette

        Get with the program – kindness, politeness, and maturity are SO overrated. Just pick up the ‘OK Magazine’ and we’ll have a jolly good time guffawing at a photo of some actress’ cellulite. C’mon now, pick it up…

        And if anyone walks in, we can put on our sympathetic faces and talk about the correlation between body fat and [insert deadly illness here]!

      • whiteroses

        I can only assume you’re referencing my comments. I wasn’t necessarily talking about you, but cool. Whatever.

      • Abbe

        I am all for a respectful debate. But you immediately got snarky with the first person do disagree with your opinion.

      • Kelly

        Do you also harp on people who smoke? Eat fast food? Don’t work out at least three times a week? Drink alcohol, even moderately? Drink soda? Engage in high impact aerobics? Play extreme sports? Drive too fast?

        Every human being on the world could be healthier. Each individual person has to make the decision of which sacrifices are worth it to them and which aren’t. You don’t get to make that decision for them.

        And it bugs me that I know a girl who lives on gummy bears, easy mac and vodka but people won’t say a damn thing to her because she “looks good” but people will jump all over a fat girl. Mind your own. Other people’s weight is none of your damn business.

      • whiteroses

        I LOVE people who act like every single person on earth who’s overweight is personally offending them.

      • Kelly

        It makes me so mad. My best friend wears a size 24 and she doesn’t eat garbage and she isn’t lazy like so many people assume. She has some serious health problems and is on a lot of medication. I want to smack people who feel the need to talk shit when they don’t even know her. As if her mere presence is offensive to them.

      • Anon

        I’m sure you’re going to get a lot of shit for that comment :) and I love Gabourey but every time I see her I do wonder how long she is going to live. If only for the fact that I’d like to enjoy more movies from her but she looks like a ticking time bomb to me.

      • Kelly

        You’ve never seen an older obese person? Seriously? Do you not go outside?

      • Abbe

        I go outside all the effing time, but thank you for your concern. Also, people can become morbidly obese later in life, doesn’t mean that said old people have been that way they’re whole life. There’s also people who chain smoke and eat McD’s daily and live to be 100, but the point is that they’re outliers and not the norm.
        Yeah, it’s totally up to her if she wants to be obese, I get that, but I don’t think we should ‘celebrate’ her weight. We can celebrate that she’s a beautiful, talented actress.
        I don’t personally harp on anyone, but I just read an article saying that being morbidly obese is A.O.K I have the right to comment on it, just as you do.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        But yet, it’s cool to “celebrate” the weight of a person who is what? a size 4? Cool with you?

      • Abbe

        Nope, never said that either.

      • Kelly

        No one is celebrating her weight. We’re celebrating her talent as an actress. You’re just the petty junior high school bitch who feels the need to bring her physical appearance into the conversation.

        Also, it is A-O.K. for an adult to make the decision to be obese. Just like it’s A-O.K. for an adult to make all kinds of other decisions that don’t affect you or anyone but themselves. You have the right to comment on whatever you want but commenting on other people’s personal issues that don’t affect you and don’t hurt anyone else just expose you as a shitty, nosy person.

      • CMJ

        nothing brings out the #concerntrolls like an article about an overweight person who loves their body.

      • Abbe

        Ummm this whole article was about her physical appearance but I can’t make a comment about it?

      • Kelly

        You go ahead and keep defending your right to be the weight police of all women. You’re only making yourself look like shit.

      • Abbe

        All I said is that she is more than likely not healthy. I’ve had three kids, I’m not at all a perfect physical specimen. But when my doctor tells me to lose 15lbs I don’t start calling her a bitch and the weight police!

      • Kelly

        Oh, so you are Gabourey’s doctor? No, you aren’t. You telling her to lose weight is the equivalent of some busy body in the grocery store walking up to you and calling you fat and telling you to lose 15 pounds.

        Those scenarios are not even remotely comparable.

      • Abbe

        Except I would never approach anyone anywhere and say that. And I will never meet Gabourey and even if I did I would never comment on her wait. And she will never read this article or browse the comments. So me saying that she probably weighs more than she should is not going to personally affect her any way, and it shouldn’t affect so many people like this. It’s an opinion, not all are the same, welcome to life

      • Kelly

        Ah, so because you don’t have the guts to call someone fat to their face and just do it anonymously on the Internet, that makes it soooo much better.

        Right.

        Her weight doesn’t affect you at all and yet you keep going on and on and on about it and coming up with lame excuses as to why it’s your business. It shouldn’t affect you the way it obviously does. Perhaps you should seek some therapy to figure out why the weight of strangers is such a big deal to you.

      • rrlo

        Yes, but if your next door neighbour started telling you that you need to lose 15lbs – or worse some Mommyish reader started telling you need to lose 15lbs based on your Avatar photo (if you had one) – they would be your weight-police and we would all call her a bitch.

        I hope you see the distinction.

        There is no need to bring up Gabourey’s weight in every conversation – she is much, much more than her weight. And I would bet that she way more aware of her own health issue (if she has any) than any of us.

      • rrlo

        This whole article is about how her physical appearance does not detract from what a wonderful and talented actress she is. And how awful it is for people to focus on her weight as opposed to her as a person.

        You my friend have not only missed the whole point of this whole discussion with your Captain Obvious comments – but completely demolished the spirit of this article. People are – justly- somewhat annoyed.

      • Abbe

        The point of the article was that she is an amazing actor and that we need more diversity in our film industry and that should be celebrated, and I wholeheartedly agree with that. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t point where it’s unhealthy. Celebrities are known for their crazy fad diets that are dangerous and unhealthy, so it’s on both ends of the spectrum. If you put up a picture of a woman who was 5’8 and 80lbs I would say that more than likely she’s unhealthy.

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        You can’t make a comment about it and expect no one to disagree with you.

      • CMJ

        Ah yes, the morbid, death comment punctuated with a smiley face.

      • Abbe

        Well it’s a good thing I don’t give a shit what these people think. We’re supposed to be respectful of everyone, unless they have an opinion that’s different than yours, then it’s OK to be an asshole.

      • Kelly

        Yeah, like those assholes who pretend to be doctors and evaluate other people’s health based solely on their physical appearance.

        Oh wait, you’re one of those assholes! I guess you don’t have any right to bitch about other people being assholes, unless you’re going for the title of hypocrite too.

      • whiteroses

        Everyone’s entitled to an opinion. The flip side of that? If you make your opinion public, then everyone else is entitled to tell you what they think of it.

        If you truly didn’t give a shit, you wouldn’t be getting so defensive.

      • Guest

        Uh, you totally care what they think. You spent like 40 comments arguing the basis of your opinion with them.

      • whiteroses

        Somebody once gave me a similar speech. She harped on and on for at least ten minutes about how I needed to lose weight for my own health. I finally looked at her and said, “Tell that to my husband. He’s the one who’s partially responsible for this.”

        She said, “Well, you need to take responsibility for your own life yakety smackety blah blah blah.”

        I stared at her, completely deadpan, and said, “I’m six months pregnant.” I didn’t LOOK pregnant until I was about seven months along. Until then, I just looked really overweight.

        My point? You don’t know what’s going on in someone else’s life. If she feels she needs to lose weight, she will. Fat-shaming does precisely nothing. You have no idea what she eats, how she eats, or how often she eats. So how do you know about her health habits?

      • Kay_Sue

        Sooooo…I have some fairly embarrassing confessions in this one…

        I am 5′ 2″, and currently 104.4 lbs.

        I also have eaten, today, two bowls of Fruity Pebbles and three Hot Pockets (because I did not have the same reaction to that other story that other people did!). I’ve also had two cups of coffee (because we bought a Keurig and I am determined to get my money’s worth) and a can of Pepsi. Currently, I am trying to cut back on soda, but before, it wasn’t unusual to go through four or even more cans a day. I’m a former smoker, I drink alcohol, I have a notorious sweet tooth…I also don’t do any exercise more strenuous than walking my dog or cleaning my house….and all of these are just my lifestyle *choices* That’s to say nothing about potentially carrying a killer boob gene and our increased risk of heart disease, diabetes, and a real “all you can eat buffet” of mental disorders.

        My point is: There is NO WAY to know how healthy or unhealthy someone is by simply looking at them. If you put me and Gab side by side, you’d probably say I’m the healthier one….and you’d be very, very, very wrong…

      • Crusty Socks

        Hawt!

      • Kay_Sue

        It’s the heart disease/diabetes risk combo that did it, isn’t it? Gets ‘em every time.

      • LiteBrite

        “My point is: There is NO WAY to know how healthy or unhealthy someone is by simply looking at them. If you put me and Gab side by side, you’d probably say I’m the healthier one….and you’d be very, very, very wrong..”

        If you put my husband and I side-by-side, people would make the same judgements about us, except they’d assume my husband is the one who is going to live forever and I’m digging my own grave. What they wouldn’t know is that he’s on medication for asthma, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and diabetes meds have been looming on his horizon for the past couple of years. In fact, when people hear about the meds he’s on, the first things out of their mouths are “But he’s so thin!”, as if that’s the sole determiner of health.

        But they don’t know his lifestyle. They don’t know that he smokes, doesn’t exercise, or that he and vegetables had a break-up talk several years ago. Instead they see he’s thin and assume all is well.

        By the way, #humblebrag, I weigh more than him but am on zero meds, have few if any health issues, exercise five days a week, and eat a shit ton of veggies. Yes, I could stand to lose weight – I’m working on it – but really, there is no medical reason for me to lose it.

      • Kay_Sue

        It really does give me pause on posts like this…because I know my lifestyle, and my family risks, and I know that I’m not living at my healthiest. Somehow, I won the genetic lottery for weight by some folks’ standards. So the thin=healthier thing…no. Just no. It’s a huge fallacy that’s consistently forced down our throats.

      • Bethany Ramos

        You ate the hot pockets??? Judgejudgejudge! ;)

      • Kay_Sue

        I ate them…and I enjoyed them. Just not sexually.

      • My Oubliette

        With a couple of exceptions, your life sounds unnervingly like my life. Demon, begone!

    • Alicia Kiner

      Okay, so the one about being a football player actually makes me a little happy. I know the guy is joking, but I personally cannot wait for the day when women have more roles in professional sports. I know there’s a WNBA, but you very rarely hear anything about it unless you spend all your time watching ESPN. And there’s Danica Patrick in racing. I actually WANT there to be a woman drafted by the NFL. More and more high schools are allowing girls to play football. There was even a girl on the peewee league team my daughter cheered for this fall.

      That being said, none of these comments would have been made about a man. Yet again, it’s okay to bash a woman’s appearance, but no one would ever DREAM of saying these kinds of things about a man.

    • Kelly

      She’s a great actress. I don’t understand how anyone could have a problem with her. People come in different colors and sizes. We need good actors of all different types of people.

    • Jell

      I think there’s a sadly predictable mentality behind a lot of these comments. I’m a big girl. I’d consider myself fat by conventional standards. I have friends who would qualify as obese. The one who tends to get the most hateful comments from strangers is the one who has the most self-confidence. She is brimming with it and she feels beautiful and I think people like my friend and Gabourey Sidibe who don’t let their weight keep them from looking and feeling beautiful are often targets for people with projection issues. They see a confident fat person and it shakes up their worldview and forces them to confront the fact that they are not comfortable with themselves. If they were that big they would hide away. They would be ashamed of themsleves. And it makes them angry at those who aren’t. Pity those who make cruel comments about her weight. They reveal more about their own sad natures than anything else.

      • K.

        Or that they’ve invested in the media’s projection that smart, successful, happy, and loved people always come in the same package, and when someone appears who is a living example that their investiture in that ideal is wasted, they get annoyed.

        (I note this only because having worked in academia, it would amaze me sometimes that people who graduated from top-tier universities had a tendency to speak down upon candidates and intellectuals who came up from lesser-known institutions or outside of the university system altogether–evidencing that perhaps intellectual prowess exists outside of a $200K+ education…)

    • rrlo

      Lupita Nyong’o quite possibly has the most beautiful face I have ever seen in on a woman.
      Honestly, considering the awful and ugly things people tweet about most celebrities – especially women – this is least surprising.
      Gaborey is so talented and amazing and some random comments about her weight are pathetic and I can’t imagine it would bother her. Because a woman like that is way beyond the insults of weirdo losers of twitter-verse.

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        I used to work with Lupita’s sister. Also beautiful. And brilliant.
        Just sayin’. Because I’m telling everyone today about how I used to work with Lupita’s sister.

      • CMJ

        Absolutely appropriate.

      • My Oubliette

        I was honestly taken aback when I first saw Lupita. So beautiful!

    • TwentiSomething Mom

      There’s a guy I’m FB friends with who always goes on tirades on the overweight-especially Gabby because she’s “unhealthy”. You know what? There are people that look like they don’t eat, use drugs, smoke cigarettes and drink way too much alcohol. Are these people targets of an unhealthy lifestyle? No, because they’re not overweight.

      • Véronique Houde

        LOTS of people in Hollywood are unhealthy – with the crazy diets to keep weight off, the drugs, the alcohol… I mean, why do we love the “pretty ones” and not people like Gabourey? Oh… And no one really ever comments on fat men. She fat black women. Because you know, the pressure of being sexy and all…

      • jsterling93

        I saw an article talking about how Charlize Theron had “glowing skin” at the Oscars. She is held up as a perfect example of beauty and health. And she is very beautiful. but she is also a heavy smoker who is so out of shape that when filming “Prometheus” they had to rewrite scenes that called for her to run because she couldn’t do it. She would start wheezing.

      • ted3553

        Not to mention that no one asked his opinion on her body at all. I often question why people feel the need to say nasty things about people when there was no reference for it.

    • Elizabeth

      YES to the comments about how ridiculous it is that people feel free to comment on how “unhealthy” it is to be overweight, but don’t say a word about other unhealthy habits! And I was thinking about this — women are classified (often by men) as “unhealthily overweight” at the point when said men deem them no longer attractive. I’ve heard these “unhealthy” comments about KATE UPTON.

      There won’t be a media firestorm about a thin, attractive woman who drinks too much diet soda, even though aspartame is starting to be linked to serious health problems. Gossip websites won’t run an article about, say, Keira Knightley asking for extra sugar in her Starbucks even though there was just a huge study staying that sugar consumption is one of the strongest links to heart disease. Because those things don’t get in the way of the media’s objectification of women, and weight (apparently, grossly, sadly) does.

      • My Oubliette

        The most ironic thing about the comments about Kate Upton being “unhealthy” is that many other models are thin because they’re very sick – they starve themselves, they use hardcore stimulants to keep them going for their whole ridiculously long workdays as well as curb their appetites…but no, Kate Upton is unhealthy because she’s chosen to settle at the weight her body has naturally chosen for her. Grow a brain, people!

      • My Oubliette

        (No disrespect whatsoever meant to models who engage in those behaviors. It’s an extremely difficult, competitive, and demanding job, and these girls are very young. It’s easy to get caught up in such madness in an environment like that.)

      • Elizabeth

        Absolutely! In fact, I think I read an article saying that being very thin can sometimes put you MORE at risk for heart problems. But I/society am not going to tell a thin person to eat more Cheerios; we’ll assume that they’re taking care of any issues that they might be having. It’s difficult to understand why we can’t apply the same logic to women of all sizes.

    • CrazyFor Kate

      I’m still bitter over Gabourey getting robbed for Precious. Sigh. Can she get another Oscar role, soon?

    • Crusty Socks

      Making fun of fat people should be like the “N-Word”

      Only other fat people should be able to do it.

    • missiemeghan

      Funny, most of those tweets were from men…

    • K.

      “Unhealthy” is a way of nurturing a visual prejudice. It attempts to apply morality to an otherwise superficial judgment.

    • Amber Starr

      Oh god. People who make fat jokes are so incredibly unoriginal and lame. Seriously, how hard is it to see someone who is fat and say “Oh, hey, you’re fat… huh huh huh… I bet you eat a whole CITY for breakfast. Get it? ‘Cause you’re fat and you must eat a lot!”. Seriously? That’s the best these fuckers got? I’ve been chunky, obese, and/or fat at different points in my life, and I heard the stupidest shit from people. Sure, they hurt and embarrassed me at the time, but looking back, I’m just like “Whatever. If the worst thing you can say is that I’m so fat that I use a hula hoop for a belt, then I guess I’m not so bad. You’re a mean-spirited person and you lack any imagination. That’s worse than being fat. Ya asshole.”.

      Gabby is an amazing actress and I adore her. People that take cheap shots at her weight are pathetic and unfunny.

      • My Oubliette

        As long as it’s an adjustable hula hoop (do they make those?) and you can break it out whenever you have a free minute and do a li’l hoop dance, that sounds like a plus to me ;)

    • lina

      These tweets are horrible! If only people would respect these actresses the way they deserve. For more on the subject, check out this piece on body image blog Jug Report: http://wp.me/p3INSa-dv