Look, I don’t have a 14-year-old right now, I have a 9-month-old. I hope beyond hope that this is something I will never have to deal with. I plan on having an open, honest relationship with her, discussing sex and letting her know that engaging in sexual behavior at such a young age is ultimately very damaging. But I’m sure many parents who are faced with pregnant teenagers never thought they would be in that situation.
I read a parenting thread on Reddit today that forced me to think about this:
Your 14-year-old tells you she’s pregnant. How do you respond? Do you support her? Do you kick her out? Do you advise abortion? What would be your reaction and why?
First of all I’d like to point out that my reaction is totally hypothetical. If I’ve learned anything about parenting it’s that you never really know what you’ll do until you are standing square in the middle of whatever situation it is that you have hypothesized about in the past. All I know is – I truly believe a 14-year-old is too young to be a mother. I think a 14-year-old is too young to be having sex, period, but if the situation arose and one fell pregnant – I would totally advocate for an abortion.
Cue moral outrage here. I don’t care. There is so much social damage done because of the “morality” behind these decisions. Anti-choicers constantly make blanket statements about the “moral outrage” they feel at the death of a fetus – yet provide no real solutions to what to do with live babies who have no support. Oh wait – I forgot – Just give it up for adoption! Yes, because forcing a teenager to carry a child to term and give it up isn’t damaging at all.
I would advocate for an abortion in this situation because it is simply the best decision. No one can convince me that it is in a 14-year-old’s best interest to be a mother. Yes, she probably shouldn’t have been having sex in the first place – but she did. I’m all about solutions, not pie-in-the-sky fantasies about what is moral or not.
You know what kills me about the religious right? They think God controls everything, made everything and knows everything – except for the things they don’t like. What if God created abortions to give all the sinners (that he ultimately forgives, right?) a way out. What if God is literally screaming from the heavens – Hey morons! I gave you medical procedures to take care of this! Women have the ability to get pregnant every month! Do you really think it was my intention that they have all of those babies? What do you think I am, an idiot?
Society would be a whole lot better off if we could spend more money on education, give young mothers more support and in the cases where sex education and parental communication has failed, support the decision to abort whenever possible. Abortion is simply better for society as a whole than unleashing a bunch of unloved, unwanted and uncared for beings into the world.
That’s my advice in a nutshell.