I don’t know why anyone bothers with elaborate birthday presents for the under-three set. I mean, they can’t even wipe their own bums or speak in full sentences yet, how are they supposed to appreciate a Leap Frog tablet? No, the expensive gifts are, at best, for the parent’s enjoyment, and at worst blatant status symbols. When my oldest was a baby, I fell into the gift buying trap, but she was always more interested in the box/wrapping/sharp scissors just out of reach, etc.Kids have the right idea, anything and everything can be a toy. Below are some of the strangest thing I’ve caught my kids playing with.
5. Unused Tampons
On three separate occasions I have each of my children happily playing up a storm with random, unused tampons. Why? have no idea. They do make really cool looking ghosts if you open then up and add some string, according to Pinterest, but I think that’s even too gross for my family.
4. Boxes, Oh the boxes!
Cardboard boxes are the quintessential non-toy toy. Who hasn’t spent a lazy afternoon making a spaceship out of a refrigerator box. I know I did (and that was last week). There is nothing as awesome as an empty cardboard box. Except maybe TWO cardboard boxes.
3. All the sharp objects!
Obviously I’m not letting my kids play with scissors and switch blades all willy nilly, but my kids have a gift for finding any and all dangerous items that night not have been put up high enough. Toddlers, like teenagers, think they are invincible. No matter how careful I am, I catch my youngest son with something sharp at least once a month.
2. The toilet
It’s not that I don’t get the allure of the commode when it comes to babies (water! filth! Mom said no!) but I find this particular habit to be downright gross. In the ten plus years that I’ve been a mom I’ve had my kids dump my keys, my checkbook, my favorite earrings, Don’s cigarettes and a cat into the toilet. I think you can imagine how the cat reacted to that (not well).
1. My keys
My house keys seem to be the go-to non-toy item that my toddler son loves to steal and then promptly move. I once found them at the bottom of the cat box. I was NOT amused. I know kids like them because they’re shiny and they rattle (and their mine, obv.) but this is a phase I will be more than happy to leave in the past.