mom adviceAs you all know, something that I worry about in terms of my life is everything, but specifically, I have wondered about when I’ll magically know it’s the right time to have children. As you’ve all made clear, there is no magic time and I’ll never be one hundred percent ready, so I’m letting go of that one in favor of a more pragmatic approach. I’ve heard people say that they didn’t have an age in mind so much as “life place,” and that makes a lot of sense to me. But then, of course, I have no idea what that “life place” really looks like, outside of being financially stable.

I figure that most people have some sort of list of accomplishments they want to cross off before trying to have children–the ones that I hear most frequently involve traveling and career fulfillment. Those both sound like great ideas. I like traveling. Being fulfilled is great!

Obviously, I’d love career fulfillment, a steady paycheck, and to have done a bunch of traveling if at all possible. I also think that raising a dog with my partner would be a worthwhile accomplishment before making our own little spawn, and if I’m being really honest, I have a fantasy list of accomplishments. In my fantasy world, I’ve written two books, work as a writer of television shows, and am my own best friend (but also have real friends who aren’t me, because my friends are great. I just mean that I’d like myself a ton. I promise I have real friends). Those fantasy dreams sound great, but I’m okay with a much smaller approximation of that. And I’m okay with working towards those goals after I have kids, too.

Quick unrelated note: thanks for sticking with me yesterday during my unusually sad sack post about death. You all rule, and help me deal with silly stuff like having being surprised by a live birth video as easily as you help me try to find answers to the bigger questions.

But back to business. I’m curious–what did you all hope to accomplish before making the decision to have children or actually having children? Did you do it? If you didn’t cross those things off of your list, how do you have to adapt once you’re a parent?

Photo: Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret