I don’t mind my kids having friends over, but I hate playdates in general. There is one family of kids who can come over any time they want because they are fun, nice, cool little humans who play great with my kids and who don’t act like monsters when they are over. But the rest of those kids who want to come over to my house? I dread it. Why? Because I said so, that’s why. But seriously, I hate playdates, and I can give you 10 reasons why your kids can’t come over.
1: My Kid’s Room Is A Pit From Hell
Your kid can’t come over because my kid’s room is a disaster. It’s the law. if they can’t clean up their space, they don’t get to have company.
2: My Kid Has Homework
Sorry, they have a pile of math to do and I don’t believe in rewarding them with happy fun times until they are done with their work.
3: Because I Don’t Feel Like It
Somedays having kids of my own is bad enough. Somedays I don’t feel like dealing with dumb kids who I didn’t even give birth to.
4: Because Your Kids Don’t Play Nice
For whatever reason, our kids end up fighting over toys or hitting each other and before you know it someone is crying or possibly bleeding. Our kids don’t play nice together, and at this point I think we should just give up the dream of them ever getting along.
5: Because My Kid Is Just Getting Over A Cold
If my kid has just been sick I don’t want them having kids over, especially if they have missed school. I also don’t want your kids coming over if they are just getting over a cold, because I have enough germs in my house as it is.
6: Because Your Kid Wants To Play With Me, And Not My Kid
I like that your kid likes me, but if it has gotten to the point where they are following me around the house and ignoring my kid then it gets pretty annoying. The next time they do this I am making them help me fold laundry.
7: Because Your Kid Refuses To Respect My Rules
I hate having to remind kids over and over again not to jump on my sofa or hit my dog. If your kid is an asshole and refuses to act decent in my house, no, they cannot come over.
8: Because I Don’t Feel Like Being A Good Mom
I don;’ feel like organizing a craft or making snacks or preparing a dinner that isn’t frozen waffles. Having kids over means I have to get motivated to think of activities and and put on real pants and at the very least, make sure no one that I didn’t give north to gets hurt. Somedays I just don’t feel up to it.
9: Because The Weather Sucks
I hate having kids over when the weather is miserable and I can’t throw them outside if they start to get bored or start getting into trouble inside. Kids need to run around and get their ya-yas out. if it’s freezing or pouring rain they are cooped up inside and driving me crazy and playdates work much better when the weather is decent out.
10: Because You Never Reciprocate
Nothing is worse than parents who always expect you to host and never invite your kids over. I didn’t sign up to be the neighborhood daycare, so if you want me to take your kids on occasion it should also be your turn once in a while.