Are You There, Moms? It’s Me, Idiot. Did You Want One Gender Over Another?

mom adviceHere we are again, parents/non-parents/advice givers. This week, I’m curious about whether or not you wanted a boy or a girl, and if you ended up popping out the sex of your choice. ”We don’t care about the sex as long as he or she is healthy” is the standard answer, but we can all agree that’s kind of bullshit, right? I’m counting on you guys to be up front with me about this.

My parents have long claimed that they wanted daughters, which is convenient since they have two of them and no sons. They swear up and down that they prayed for two girls, and there was some convoluted tale of my deceased grandparents hearing my parents’ prayers and sending down two girls, which is a lovely story if you’re into that that type of thing. Then again, my parents are pathological liars who are for some reason concerned with my feelings and are exactly the types to make up a lovely story like that because they think hearing that they wanted sons would for some reason upset me. So we’ll never know.

When I think about having kids, I always picture myself having daughters. This might be because I grew up with no brothers, and therefore I assume that all families include two daughters. But at this point, I don’t have enough concrete thoughts about being a future parent to have a real preference.

I already have some experience with sex disappointment (AND I’M NOT JUST TALKING ABOUT IN THE BEDROOM, LADIES. BOOM! Okay cool, I am bad at doing sex. I’ll just show myself out). I was four years old when my mother became pregnant with my little sister, and apparently I was an unintelligent child because I was thoroughly convinced that there was a chance that I’d get an older brother out of the whole thing. When my sister was born, she was a massive disappointment, considering that she was both female and four years younger than me. I never let her forget that she’s still one of the biggest disappointments in my short life, and also my best friend in the world so you know I guess it worked out okay or something.

So let’s get into it. Did you–or do you–want one sex over another? What made you want to parent sons or daughters, specifically? If it didn’t work out, were you actually disappointed or was that little wriggling pile of snugs cute enough to make you forget? I’m all ears.

Photo: Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret

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  • AnastasiaMcNally

    Ahhhh I felt like the most awful person at my 20 week ultrasound, I was sooo convinced I was having a boy and so badly wanted a boy that when the tech said “and here is the vulva” I actually started crying! I was disappointed for about a week until I got used to the idea and re-adjusted and now I don’t know what my problem ever was!

  • ktbay

    I desperately wanted to have girls. I grew up with all girls, and I figured I would have a better handle on it. My older sister has two boys and I find them to be exhausting, and strange. My husband, however, is the last of his name and felt a great need to have boys. We have a little girl now, and at this time (3 wks postpartum) I really don’t feel the urge to have any more, ever. My husband is already asking when we can start trying for another, but I worry if the next one is also a girl that he will be very disappointed.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      There’s no reason your daughter(s) can’t carry on a family name! One of the absolute non-negotiable conditions I’d make a man agree to if I ever were to be arm-twisted into procreating (and since the rest are basically that I would in no way be involved with the gestating or raising of the offspring, the dude would have to be clinically baby-obsessed in order to go for it) would be that the child(ren) take my last name–no hyphens or last-name layer cakes.

  • whiteroses

    I wanted a girl. I guess I thought that I’d understand my baby better if it was a girl. I don’t think DH had a preference. I wanted someone to cook with- someone who would like knitting, and going to museums. I was pretty ambivalent about the fact that I was having a boy, to be honest. I guess I just didn’t think about it, and I just thought of him as “the baby”. The day he was born, I looked down at him and thought, “What the crap am I supposed to do with you?”

    But we muddled through. And now that blue-eyed, blonde haired almost two year old little boy likes watching me cook, tries to knit, and will stare at a painting in a museum like a champ. He’s stubborn as hell, he loves his grandfather, and he will sit in my lap and listen to me read books for hours on end. It’s not about what’s in their diapers- it’s about who THEY are. If I had a little girl with a different personality I’m sure I’d love her, but that little boy makes me incredibly happy- and I’m so glad I have him.

    • MellyG

      It’s funny, i’m the same – i think we all hope for kids that will be like us, in a way, and forget the gender doesn’t always dictate that. I am nothing like my mother at all – we are good friends, get along, and love each other without question, but most of the time we don’t “get” each other – we’re just so different. However, i’m like a clone of my dad in terms of interests and personality.

  • bs

    My moms friend wanted a girl so badly, and said if she didn’t have one the first try that she would keep trying until it happened. About three years ago we went back to our home town and saw her in the grocery store with seven children…. all boys.

    • Julia Sonenshein

      holy SHIT.

    • Kelly

      i thought my cousin was bad. Trying for a boy. Got their boy after 4 girls. But 7!?!? Insane!

    • AP

      I had a friend whose parents had two girls close in age and tried for a boy. They got a girl, and decided they were done having children. Eleven months later, the mom gave birth to one big OOPS of a boy.

    •!/moonovertokyo Moonie

      Sweet Jesus that’s one of my major fears about having kids, because I’ve said the same thing about wanting to have a girl that badly. I wonder if she’s still hoping for a girl?

    • bs

      No, after her seventh she decided boys weren’t so bad.

    • MellyG

      I’ve heard that happened with Robert Rodriguez – he has 5 kids. The 5th is a girl and they stopped (i don’t know them personally – i just get that impression from interviews, lol)

    • whiteroses

      I’d like a daughter. But your story is exactly why I don’t care what plumbing the second one has- it will absolutely be our last baby, or babies if we follow my family’s genetics and end up with twins (my great-great aunt was a twin, my grandfather was a twin, and two of my cousins are twins).

      I’m not willing to play that game more than twice.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      I was watching Montel one time and there was a family that had 14 kids… 13 boys, 1 girl! The 7 boys reminds me of that lol

  • Kelly

    Yes – up front it is all about the healthy baby thing. And then once you are good with that. you OF COURSE start fantasizing about gender. First baby – usually doesn’t matter, right? Esp if you are thinking of having more than one. We had a boy. Lovely. Once I was preggers with #2, I was hoping for healthy baby FIRST (of course) and then was hoping for GIRL (which we got)! Now with #3, it really “didn’t matter” b/c we had one of each…except we are having a much easier time raising our daughter than our son (and boys are higher risk for autism/ADHD, etc so girls are slightly easier stats-wise) so I was KINDA hoping for another girl (51/49). Its a boy and it will be wonderful. But anyone who says they don’t care about gender or rationalizes that they REALLY WANTED the 3 boys they got or something is…. um….LYING!

  • Kay_Sue

    I’d like to say, “Hey, I totally didn’t give a flying shit as long as they were healthy,” but it’s not true. I wanted girls. I had no frame of reference for the male of the species. I have no brothers or close male cousins or anything, so I really and honestly had no idea what to do. So when he very brazenly revealed himself to be a boy, I was like, “Fuck. What do I do now?”, which was quickly followed by, “Oh my god, I’m a single mom, how am I ever going to teach him to pee in the potty?”, which was then quickly followed by, “Hey, he’s got a cute nose.” With my second son, it was much more of a “daggumit” reaction. Does it matter long term? Nah, I’m happy and I’ve really enjoyed having boys (I’m sure I’d have enjoyed girls too, but they are pretty neat little guys). I would not trade it. I might trade them some days, but not for girls. Maybe for goats.

  • Not A Mandy

    With our first pregnancy, I really wanted a boy. My husband really wanted a girl. Not only did that jackass withhold his Y chromosome, he split that egg right in half and I got a matching set of girls. Now that they’re 8, I cannot imagine it any other way. We’re now expecting a third and while everyone around us is adamant we need to have a boy, we honestly don’t care one way or the other. The girls were born at 25 weeks gestation weighing less than 1.5 pounds each so all we care about is that this baby stays put until our scheduled c-section at 39 weeks. Take home baby for the win!

  • Heather

    I’m 18 weeks, so I should find out the sex at my ultrasound in 2 weeks. At this point, I honestly don’t have a strong preference. If I HAD to choose, I guess I lean toward boy? Prior to being pregnant I would have definitely said girl though. I also had a threatened miscarriage at 16 weeks so I don’t know if that shocked the strong preferences out of me..

  • CW

    I always knew that I wanted at least one boy and at least one girl. I didn’t care with my first and she didn’t cooperate for the ultrasound. My 2nd we really hoped for a boy since we had a girl first, and we got our wish. With the 3rd, we didn’t care since we already had one of each. We’re probably not going to try for a 4th, but if I were to get pregnant, it would be nice to have another boy to even things up.

  •!/moonovertokyo Moonie

    This is something that I’ve thought about a lot, but can never find anyone to talk about it with. People look at you like you’re a monster for having thoughts and doubts like this one when it comes to having kids, and if you express the disappointment you might feel if you didn’t get what you were hoping for. I think (hope) most parents want a healthy child first, and I’m no exception, but I want a girl so badly that I’m actually afraid of trying to have children and being ‘stuck’ with boys. My mother can vouch for this, but I don’t handle disappointment very well, and I am afraid that I wouldn’t be able to hold that disappointment back forever for my male children’s sakes.

    And that isn’t even to speak of my fears when it comes to playing the genetic lottery with having either a perfectly healthy child or a child with any one of the mild to horrifyingly severe disabilities and defects that can occur. I’m ashamed to admit that I just don’t think I could cope with having a disabled child, and it’s even harder still to not have anyone to speak to about these fears without being judged instantly as a monster. I’m already afraid that these thoughts and fears mean I won’t be a good mother…I just wish I had someone to talk about it with.

    • Julia Sonenshein

      Hey–I’m right there with you. I have a ton of anxiety about everything you mentioned. You’re not a monster, or at least maybe we’re both monsters.

    •!/moonovertokyo Moonie

      I’m glad for that, well, not that you feel that way too (it sucks so much) but that I’m not alone. I actually wrote into an advice column once just to see what they would say. I made the mistake of mentioning my age, and they just dismissed everything I said and all my fears with “you’re too young to worry about that!” and briefly advised me to do things I had already told her I was doing/working on (college, job, get settled, find a man, etc). Besides, I’m 26, I don’t really think that’s “too young” to be thinking about my fears of having kids when lots of people, including some of my old high school classmates, are married with kids by now. And besides, my age doesn’t make those fears any less valid, and getting older won’t make them go away. It was such a waste of my time.

    • MellyG

      I don’t think that makes you a monster – I think you’re just more honest than a lot of people :)

  • srad

    I really wanted a boy since my fiancé came with a bonus daughter. Now we have a 14 year old girl and a 2 1/2 year old boy and are currently pregnant again. At this point I am almost hoping for a kitten to come out because on any given one or both of them make me not want to have either sex.

  • Lee

    I didn’t care which I had, but I only wanted one or the other, all boys or all girls. Both my husband and I come from families like that, we both thought it would be simpler, higher odds of the kids being friends as they were older, etc..
    Anyway, the first one was a boy. Okay, great, let’s have boys! The ultra sound said the second one was going to be a girl. I wouldn’t say I was a disappointed, but yeah, I had been hoping for another boy. Everyone assumed I was thrilled to be having a boy/girl family.
    Well guess what?
    The ultra sound was wrong :)
    Happy mom of all boys right here!

  • AnotherMel

    We found out the sex of our first because I was worried I would be disappointed if I didn’t have a girl. I really, really wanted a girl and I didn’t want to be sad in the delivery room (read too many bad things while on sick leave – women going into depressions etc because of the sex of their baby). Turns out I was having a boy – there was like 2 seconds of oh, it’s not a girl and then I got happy about having a boy.

    With my second pregnancy, I got a shock – twins and so we definitely wanted to know what we were having. I was really hoping for a girl since there were two babies in there. But no such luck – both boys. I was sad for a day – I warned my husband that I probably would be if they were both boys and then I got over it. If I hadn’t gotten over it already, the health scare before they were born would have done it – after being worried about their ability to make it to term healthy you really don’t care anymore about sex. Thankfully they were both born health two weeks ago. :)

    • Julia Sonenshein


  • Kitsune

    I had wanted a girl but for some reason knew I would have a boy. There was a twinge of disappointment when I found out I was right but I quickly got over it. I’m actually grateful for it now because I have a really awful relationship with my bio mom and I think a daughter would have made me question everything and constantly worry I was hurting her like my mom hurt me. There is less baggage with my son and I can just enjoy being a parent. Plus I still get to be the princess. The only thing I hate is that it is way harder to find cute clothes for boys.

  • Jayamama

    Both times I was pregnant, I wanted a boy. The first time it was because I wanted my daughters to have at least one older brother, since I’ve loved having two. The second time it was because I had a girl already and I want at least one of each gender. But now, as I watch my younger daughter drift to sleep in her swing and hear the slow, heavy breathing of my older daughter in the next room, I couldn’t imagine it any other way. I love having girls, and if we have more, I truly don’t have a preference either way. Even if we end up with three or four girls, I won’t feel like my little family is incomplete.

  • Talia Gamble

    I have a nine year old son and I will admit to a twinge of disappointment when I found out he was a boy. But the kid is so damn awesome that I wasn’t disappointed for long. I am due April 7th with my second baby. I was adamant about being one and done and this pregnancy came as a surprise, but I was crossing my fingers for a girl because I have ALWAYS wanted a daughter, but there is like literally NO girl sperm in my husband’s family. His brother has four boys, his sister has one, we have one, and his oldest brother is the lone wolf with two girls. My memaw who I was VERY close to passed in 07 and came to me in a dream before I was ever pregnant and told me I was going to have a daughter. I was skeptical because well, really I didn’t think we had a chance, but lo and behold the 20 week ultrasound rolled around in November and BOOM!!!! Whaddya know? A GIRL! So we’re having a daughter and i’m naming her after my grandmother. I’m really happy!

  • Ddaisy

    I was four and a half when my youngest sister was born, and I desperately wanted her to be a girl. Luckily, that worked out. I also desperately wanted my parents to name her Barbie. Needless to say, that one did not turn out in my favour :P

    I always wished I had a big brother, so if I ever have kids, I kind of want a boy first. But as a girl with all sisters, I know nothing about boys whatsoever and am kind of scared to have a boy the first time around. Maybe I’ll have a girl and adopt an older brother for her. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.

    • whiteroses

      I was the same way. As an only child- I had no idea what to do with a boy. The answer is that for the first eight or nine months, you do the exact same things with a boy that you do with a girl. You read books, play blocks, play with stuffed animals, roll balls, and love that baby. You buy gender neutral toys and watch what they like. And you make sure that they know that you love them.

  • Moony

    I only favoured one gender over the other when I was a teen, because I viewed the genders stereotypically. I thought that boys were all rough and tumble and girls were all pink and princess. I won’t say which one I wanted to steer clear of but, you get the gist.

    Nowadays I honestly couldn’t give two figs about the gender. Because I know for a fact that boys aren’t hard-wired to love buzz-cuts and dump-trucks and girls aren’t naturally inclined towards Rapunzel-hair and tea-parties. I also know that there are plenty of little boys who are kind and sweet, and just as many little girls who enjoy kicking the crap out of their peers.

    Ultimately, kids are just that, kids. They’re all individuals and they all have their likes and dislikes that cannot be confined in the strict Pink or Blue package that society seems hell-bent on pushing.

    As such, I’d be happy with a boy or a girl. Either way, they’ll still be dressed in all colours of the rainbow (and then some), they’ll still be allowed to have their hair however long or short they would like and they’ll still be allowed to choose whatever toy or activity they most enjoy.

    So, to me, them being healthy really is all that matters.

  • Melissa

    I have a theory that most every parent wants one child of his or her own sex. Maybe it has to do with an idea that we will be able to relate better to a child of our own sex?

    When I was pregnant with my daughter and before I knew she was a girl, I denied caring whether I had a boy or girl and used the old “as long as it’s healthy…” line several times when people asked if I was hoping for one or the other. But I secretly really wanted a girl–I just didn’t want to jinx it by admitting that out loud, and I didn’t want anyone looking at me if I had a son and knowing I didn’t really want a boy. Now we’re having another girl, but this time I could say 100% truthfully that I didn’t care either way, because I already have my girl. It’s my husband now who’s feeling greatly outnumbered at our house (our dog is female too) and even though he loves our daughter to pieces I know he’s a teeny bit disappointed that he’ll never have a son, because this is definitely going to be our last.

  • M.

    I wanted a girl. Bad. I have all these toys and clothes from when I was little that I’d like to pass on and whatnot. But I knew I wouldn’t have a girl…my husband’s family produces boys at about a 6:1 ratio. I’m not exaggerating, I’ve done the math for the last 3 generations and that is the end ratio. We decided not to find out the sex when I was pregnant because I knew I’d be upset if it was a boy and I didn’t want to spend the bulk of my pregnancy sad that way. And it worked out like I imagined…I had a boy and it has never mattered at all that he wasn’t a girl. But if I’d known 20 weeks into my pregnancy it would have been a different story. I would have been devastated. Not only did I have a boy, I had the most stereotypical boyish boy imaginable. At 2.5, he has zero interest in playing with anything that is not a ball or a vehicle of some kind. I got him a doll for his second Christmas and, not only will he not play with it, he is downright afraid of it. He literally will not touch the thing. So all my stuffed animals, my dollhouse, my nice wooden doll cradle…they won’t be passed on to THIS boy, at least. The only time I ever get wistful that he wasn’t a girl is clothes shopping. Boys clothes suck. Not just because I can’t put him in cute little dresses and skirts and bathing suits with ruffles on the butt, but because no one wants to make boys clothes without stupid references to sports or appliques with monkeys or trucks. I just want him to wear mini versions of stuff his dad would wear, is that so freaking difficult?

  • footnotegirl

    I was certain that I was being honest with everyone when I said “I don’t care as long as its healthy.” and “Boys and girls are just as great.” Though on occasion I would pine a bit looking at tables full of tutus at Costco, and my husband would say “Hey, we could have a very floofy boy!” Which was true.
    And then we had a gender reveal cake at our shower and I felt a wave of joy when that slice was pink so… Maybe I wasn’t being too honest with myself.

    • MellyG

      Ok, so i’m confused on these gender reveal cakes. I always assumed the parents knew the gender, and had the cake made, and the big reveal was for everyone else. Who knew the gender if you didn’t?

    • candyvines

      The way I’ve heard is the sonographer seals it in an envelope which you pass to your baker.

    • MellyG

      Ah that could be fun! Makes sense! When the best friend did it, she knew, and it was a reveal to everyone else

    • footnotegirl

      Our doctor put the answer in an envelope, which we then took to our friend who was baking the cakes for the shower she and another friend were throwing for us. So one friend (and her SO) knew before we did. Also we did taunt our mothers with the envelope before handing it over (they REALLY wanted to know). So it was a surprise to both my husband and me when we cut into the cake, and we were able to share the surprise immediately with all our friends and family.

    • MellyG

      That’s really cool! Scary too though!

  • Bailey

    I admittedly wanted a girl the first time I was pregnant. I grew up with only sisters and the idea of having a son terrified me! But when he was born and was a boy, I was totally fine with it! I still wanted a girl when I got pregnant the second time but more because I wanted the experience of parenting a daughter and a son than because I wanted a girl more than a boy. He was also a boy but at that point I’d realized boys weren’t the crazy little monsters I’d always imagined them to be!

    After dealing with secondary infertility for a year and a half and having surgery to remove endometriosis, I finally got pregnant with my 3rd. I can honestly say, I didn’t have a preference of boy or girl. Not even a little. I just wanted the baby I’d been trying so hard to have. She ended up being a girl and I’m thrilled to finally have a daughter. I truly believe I would have been just as happy if she had been a boy though.

  • Rowan

    I was absolutely convinced I was having a girl right up until my son was born. So much for pregnant lady instinct. The only thing I really mind is that I wanted one of each but circumstances decided otherwise.

  • MellyG

    When i picture having kids, i always picture having a daughter. I don’t know why. I’m also pretty sure my mother wouldn’t know what to do with a son, though her and my dad tried for one after i was born. She says everyone was convinced i was boy before i was born, but she knew i was a girl….i’m fairly certain mom wanted a girl.

  • MellyG

    Also, i think i’ve always pictured a daughter because, despite being not overly girly girly, i just have no idea how to relate to boys. With friends of kids, my best friend has a 2 year old boy, and i have NO idea what to do with him. She jsut has a girl, and i’m like FINALLY, i got this. My other closest friends have a little 4 year old girl, who is like mini me and i just totally “get’ – and the other friend has 3 – 2 girls, and a boy. One girl is still a baby, and i think i don’t get babies in general, but i totally plan on adopting the eldest girl (mom is aware, lol) but the boy – i just feel bad – i’m like what do i DO with you? even shopping – when i go visit them i like to bring presents from auntie, and shopping for the girl is so easy, but i NEVER know what to get for the boy

    • ALE515

      This is how I always felt! I’m pregnant with my first and it’s a boy. I have no clue what I’m doing. Most little boys I know are gross, so I fully plan on raising him like he’s a girl haha!

  • NotTakenNotAvailable

    Both my parents wanted a girl, my mom because she was convinced that men had cooties that would invade as soon as you even looked at their penises and turn you into a Stepford drone with a Barbie-esque stare whose only function in life was to serve the patriarchy, and my dad because he can’t throw a football worth crap and was relieved to find out he wouldn’t have to teach someone else using an earnest application of the phrase, “Do as I say, not as I do.”

    My stepmom had three boys and apparently wanted a girl, as she was so excited to finally have someone in her life to do girly things with. Unfortunately for her, I only go shopping under duress and can only differentiate between color swatches for redecorating projects while blazed, and only then while so blazed that I have to demand that someone turn down the background chatter so I can see the colors more clearly.

  • Serena

    I never gave it much thought. I dreamed it would be a girl so I knew it would be. She was perfect and precious and a little princess who didn’t let a little dirt or pain stop her from having fun. Then when she was 15 and announced how she truly hated her girly named, I asked her what she would have named herself. Her answer was ‘Mike’. That’s when I realized the joke was on me. I don’t have a daughter. I have a somewhat girly son. Doesn’t matter to me, still the same awesome kid.

  • Ann

    When I was pregnant with my first I kept hoping for a boy, and by the sonogram he was a boy. The second I hoped for a girl and by the sonogram she was a girl. The third one I kept hoping for another boy, by the sonogram the baby did not cooperate and I did not know until birth. I walked around telling people I hope it’s a boy right up to the end then I would rub my belly and say I’m sorry if you are a girl and I have been calling you a boy this whole time, I think I was slightly hormonal then! When I heard the doctor say “It’s a boy!” I was thrilled!!!

  • anon

    I admit it: I wanted a boy because I knew that’s what my then husband would prefer.

  • Givemeabreak

    I prayed and prayed and PRAYED for a little girl when I was pregnant with my first son. He was extremely uncooperative during ultrasounds and I never found out what he was till he got here. I was STOKED that he was a boy when he got here. When I was pregnant with my second son we were able to find out we were having a boy and I acted excited and super happy even though my oldest (stepdaughter) was bawling on the way home. Finally cheered her up when my mom proclaimed that she got to continue being their favorite Grandaughter this way! However I went into massive depression over the lack of a little girl, that only worsened when I was told no more babies for me. I always wanted a little girl of my own, but it wasn’t in the cards, but would never EVER trade my little boys for anything!

  • RW

    My ideal was always one boy and one girl – boy first (because girls mature so much faster, that way they can be on par, LOL). With my first we did not find out until birth that we had a boy. I can honestly say though, that I genuinely did not care. I’m now pregnant with our second, and while we intend to find out this time, I’m surprised to be able to say that I still don’t care. I know I’m supposed to want a girl this time, and while I still kinda do, I’ll be just as happy to end up with two boys. I know that’s not the answer you were hoping for, but the whole tacky “so long as it’s healthy” saying is truly all I care about!

  • Harriet Meadow

    When I got pregnant, I knew he was a boy immediately. Every dream I had about him, he was a boy, and I’d be doing something random – showering, cooking, etc. – and just be hit with the certainty that he was a boy. And he was. My husband wanted a girl (and his whole family wanted our kid to be a girl), but of course now we’re enjoying the little guy so much that when I tell him I kind of want our next one to be a boy, too (though I’d be happy to have a girl), he agrees! Honestly, as other posters have said, they’re little people more than anything. And there’s nothing better than a healthy, happy baby, no matter the sex. I’d honestly be overjoyed with either! Now if only I’d start ovulating again…

  • Jezebeelzebub

    I wanted a girl in the worst way. I knew I was only ever going to have one child, and I will admit to really, really wanting that one child to be a daughter. It’s kind of a Thing in my family, see… my grandmother had one child- a girl. My mother had one child- a girl (me, duh). And I wanted one too. But I knew she was going to be a girl because of her due date… she was born a Cancer like myself, my mother, my grandmother, and my great grandmother. Do I hope my daughter falls in line with the rest of us? As far as number and gender of offspring, yes I DO. When/if I do get a grandchild, I don’t guess I will really care too much what flavor comes out, but I do think it would be pretty neat to keep the stats going. Incidentally, my (former) SIL was pregnant with her first at the same time I was. My then-MIL swore up and down that SIL was having the girl and I’d be having the boy. I hated my MIL. SIL was okay, but I totes detested my MIL, so the fact that she was wrong (WRONG, WRONG, WROOOONG) also made me happy. I am kind of a horrible person. In conclusion, vaginas RULE (in my family, they literally do).

  • emlangille

    Like you, I don’t have any kids (we’re probably about the same age-ish actually) BUT I have no idea what I want really. In the end I think I’d like one of each, but I also don’t plan on finding out what I’m having (whenever I’m pregnant in the future) so it might not really matter? I also grew up with 2 brothers and 1 sister, and so I have no idea if that’s why I’m indecisive about if I want a boy more than a girl or vice versa.

  • LaidbackLiz

    OK, I’m totally in agreement with the moms saying that the biggest thrill was seeing that our babies were developing healthily and normally – that we would have a lovely, thriving, precious newborn to hold that was OURS in anywhere from 32 to 20 short weeks depending on which ultrasound they’re referring to. HOWEVER – EVERY parent, every single one of us, whether we admit it or not has that little spark of “of course health is most important but I really hope it’s a _____” in the back of our minds. I wanted a girl. Prayed for a girl, had whole Pinterest boards dedicated to having a girl. I have a sister, and my parents, just like yours, swear up and down they always wanted girls though their story differs a little because I was supposed to be an only child. Having a sister was/is one of the most awesome things I’ve ever gotten to experience. I’m 5 years older so when we were little I mothered her, my mom said if it hadn’t been so sweet she would’ve been kind of upset that little sis came to me first when she had a nightmare to sleep in my bed, when she needed a BanAid for her owie, when other kids picked on her, when she was confused about homework, when she was excited about big news she shared it with me first, etc. We had the growing pains all siblings have around the teenage years but are as close as ever now. With that relationship being one of the most wonderful things in my life to date – of course I wanted girls, I ‘got’ girls, I wanted to produce two sibs that would hopefully have the relationship I have with my sister – but it was not to be. Said little sister organized a HUGE gender reveal party for us (I had never heard of this until I had one) where the ultrasound tech who knew all called the bakery and had them make an appropriately dyed cake before we cut into that night. Everyone was supposed to wear pink or blue to represent their ‘guess’ and 3/4 of our guests had on blue. I went up to slice the cake, so confident, and then shocked when that slice revealed a powdery blue cake. All I could say in the moment was “majority rules” of course I was thrilled I was pregnant and that my baby was healthy, but I was bummed that I wasn’t going to get my world of tutus and bows and pink and princess sparkles. A year and a half later I can’t imagine having a girl – my sweet boy makes every day so much fun and I get to do things I never got to do only having a sister, I would’ve never believed it before – but it’s FUN, so much fun that I wouldn’t mind if our second was a boy too. I know, that sounds awful “wouldn’t mind” but some part of me still wants to do all those girly things, I’m just glad that the part of my brain that thought I’d only be happy if I eventually had a girl was wrong. My son is amazing, little boys are great, but yes, everyone has a preference. Of course, when that cake slicing happened I was allowed my momentary shock because my husband picked up the slack fist pumping like he just won the biggest prize out there, though he assures me he’ll be just as excited if and when we have a girl – I know from experience it’ll happen but if I’m being real I expect him to feel the way I did until she gets here :)

  • 2cents

    I only wanted boys and was thrilled when my first was a boy, my second turned out to be a girl and I’ll admit at first I was disappointed, but i fell in love with her just the same and I actually absolutely love not just her, of course, but having a daughter