10 Celebratory Potty Training Cakes That Are Disturbing And Awesome

Potty training. I know there are tons of parents out there who claim it happens magically in three days. All you have to do is strip your child naked. Or take away their diapers. Or tell them they will henceforth be using the toilet. Or explain that only babies go pee-pee in their diapers. Or (insert whatever crock of BS someone who has a child that is ready to potty train will tell you here).

I stumbled upon this celebratory potty cake trend – and believe me, I get it. You are thrilled you’re done changing diapers and everyone loves cake, so why not? The only reason I can think of to poo-poo this trend (see what I did there?) is that cutting into a toilet or a fabricated piece of poop is f*&cking disgusting.

 

1. The “Hershey Kisses Are An Obvious Choice” Potty Cake

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Pinterest/ Amanda Comer

Um, yeah. Thanks for ruining Hershey’s Kisses for us forever.

2. The “This Is Going Too Far” Potty Cake

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Pinterest/ Amanda Cross

Aw, how cute! Little yellow urine sprinkles and what looks to be hot dogs. Would you like some toilet seat, urine or poop honey? It’s your day!

3. The “We’re Too Rich To Eat Poo” Potty Cake

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Pinterest/ hudsoncakery.com

Bax’s parents are rich, as evidenced by the super fancy fondant cake for the potty party. Either that, or Bax’s mom is a pastry chef. Either way, nothing says “you did it!” like a fondant undie cake.

4. The “There’s Seriously An Edible Photo Of A Toilet On This Cake” Cake

Stephanie+P

Cakewrecks.com

I’ve always found edible photos on cakes to be kind of a bummer. This cake is not convincing me otherwise.

5. The “Timing Is Everything” Potty Cake

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Cakewrecks.com

I’m not sure if this is a typo or a half-assed edible reminder. Wait to go!

6. The “So What If It’s A Mess, It’s A Toilet” Potty Cake

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Pinterest/ Carrie Kakac

This is my personal favorite, simply because it looks like something I could execute. I appreciate that there’s no simulated poo floating in it – and I love her laissez-faire attitude about the frosting all over the plate. This cake is a f*&king disaster.

7. The “Good Job, Here’s A Giant Piece Of Sh*t” Potty Cake

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nowamomof3.blogspot.com

I don’t think you could even convince a child to eat a piece of this monstrosity. Oh my god.

8. The “What Are You Feeding This Kid?” Potty Cake

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Pinterest/ Busy Hands Blessed Hearts

Yellow jello with brown sprinkles. That’s how this was done. I just threw up in my mouth.

9. The “Potty Cupcake-stravaganza” 

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tiffkeetch.blogspot

I think I can execute these. What is it – a split marshmallow with an Entenmann’s mini donut shoved on it? I smell a fail photo coming…

10. These Aren’t Cakes But I Had To Include Them

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Flickr/ Lindsay Agee

I’ve never seen a pile of shit, underwear, and a roll of toilet paper presented in such an exquisitely appetizing way. Good job.

You can reach this post's author, Maria Guido, on twitter.
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    • Megan Zander

      I’m not sure if I’m more impressed at the lengths some people will go to in order to find an excuse to eat pastry or worried about what will happen to these kids the first time they (insert routine adult function here) and no one fires a confetti cannon. Either way, #8 made me gag and now I want powdered doughnuts.

      • Maria Guido

        I now want a confetti canon.

      • Rachel Sea

        I would like a cake and a confetti cannon every time I paid a bill or filed taxes.

        In fact, I’m going to go home and make a tax refund cake. There may also be confetti.

      • Megan Zander

        LOVE it.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I don’t want hot dog cake plus NO ONE wants shit cookies :(

      • SA

        All I could think is WHY would you put a hot dog on a cake.

      • Kelly

        LOL I’m pretty sure those are tootsie rolls but sadly, thinking of them as hot dogs doesn’t make that cake any less appetizing.

    • Lauren_Alli

      It is lunch time and now I want to vomit. #howdareyou

      • Maria Guido

        #HOWDAREYOU

      • Bethany Ramos

        #hdy this post was brilliant.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      Um…wow. Are people throwing actual parties for this now or is it just like a cake for the kid? Or just the parents? Or seriously are people actually throwing parties for this????

      • Maria Guido

        There are really parties.

      • Tina

        Like for real, parties?! What is happening to people these days… I honestly didn’t know this was a thing now. Whatever happened to the good old days of simply mentioning it to your friends with relief like a normal person and then just being happy you don’t need to change a diaper again?

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        I….if people need ideas for reasons to throw a party, I think I can come up with like 10 better ones than this right now.

      • SA

        I’ve joked about throwing parties when kids her last teeth in and when potty training is complete. But these are going to be adults-only parties with copious amounts of alcohol…a cause for celebration!!

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        That seems reasonable! Like…I’m all for celebrating my kid’s accomplishments but we usually do it with high-fives and an extra book before bedtime…why does everything have to be a pinterest-worthy party now? Uff.

    • Andrea

      I wanna say that these are an improvement on the vagina cakes, but they really aren’t. Eve, you are gonna drive that woman straight into the crazy house.

      • Maria Guido

        She doesn’t care because I’m already there. I’m the obvious choice for these assignments.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        I really don’t care

      • Andrea

        LOL poor Maria!

    • Valerie

      Sweet tap dancing Christ. What WON’T some parents celebrate these days? I admit rolling my eyes for “gender reveal” parties but I do sort of get why parents might want to do that. But a cake in the likeness of poo? I cannot get behind that for any reason at all. Ever.

      • SusannahJoy

        Oh I’ll totally be celebrating potty training. It will be a glorious, glorious day when I don’t have to deal with diapers anymore. But I will celebrate with a bottle of wine with my husband, not with a poop cake.

        Although we do that every night, so maybe we’ll celebrate with 2 bottles. That’s way more festive.

      • Valerie

        Celebrating with your spouse make sense. Inviting other people to eat poo cake does not.

    • SA

      Woah, so gross! Although the doodie cookies are kind of cute.

      • Valerie

        Upvote because I so love the word doodie.

    • Rachel Sea

      It’s like a STFU series and a Cake Wreck made sweet, sweet love.

      I am so grateful for my friends right now. Not a one of them has ever invited me to eat simulated toddler crap on a cake.

      • AugustW

        I have *never* even had the slightest urge to make or order a cake to celebrate my child’s ability to retain urine.

      • brebay

        What are you trying to do, raise an independent human being or something? It’s almost like you don’t even want him living in your basement at 40! Get it together, or he’ll be getting a job and being emotionally stable someday.

    • Kay_Sue

      Yellow jell-o…with brown sprinkles…who…who would come up with that? What kind of person thinks of things like that?

      • Megan Zander

        I would eat that one any day over the watery godimgoingtovomit in #8 #wouldyourather

      • Kay_Sue

        That’s what made the watery stuff in #8. That’s…that’s disgusting…

      • Megan Zander

        Oh! I thought that was what made #2, which while gross, I’ve eaten similar in my easy bake oven days. Don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat yellow jello again now.

      • Kay_Sue

        Me neither. It’s ruined!

    • Zettai

      Why are some families like this? When I first got my period my mom bought me a Congratulations cake with my name on it. Then added my one of my sister’s names because she hadn’t had hers yet (she was older) and didn’t want her to feel left out. (??)

      The only thing grosser about the looks of #8, though, is the Jell-O. Cakes with Jell-O–especially milk-made–are WRONG, and I don’t care if they’re a cultural tradition in some places. WRONG.

      • Valerie

        A period cake? Did she get Red Velvet?

      • Zettai

        Sadly, no. It was yellow, my least favorite kind. Perhaps her way of telling me that having a period would also leave a bad taste in my mouth.

      • Valerie

        Ok, now my imagination is running away with me. A period cake could include fondant tampons dripping with red food coloring lining the whole outside edge of the cake. And maybe the top could be fondant with etching to make it look quilted, to simulate the surface of a panty liner. So many possibilities.

      • Zettai

        Maybe instead of red, they go with the toilet-bowl-blue to make it look just as neat and pretty as the commercials. If you’re going to trick girls with a celebration for a 30 or 40 year curse, you have to go all the way. :)

      • Alicia

        Or a good, old uterus releasing your period?

      • Valerie

        Omg

      • Andrea

        My dad got me flowers. It was sweet. Awkward, but sweet.

      • Zettai

        Lol. My stepdad was the only one home when I got mine and had to tell me where the pads were. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man look more uncomfortable… except when they find out girls poop too, of course.

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        That’s really sweet. I want to do something for my daughter…not a party because I’m not a horrible person, but something nice and personal to mark it as a pretty big milestone and not something completely awful. My wife’s mum took her out for dessert and bought her a watch, I thought that was really sweet.

      • Andrea

        The flowers made up for the fact that my mother threw pads at me and wished me good luck.
        I don’t have a daughter, but if I did I would want to commemorate the event. Maybe take her out someplace girly (like somewhere for tea? with hats and dresses? LOL).
        Of course it will be really fun when all three of your periods sync up. Ha ha ha ha!!

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        Oh I know….I used to work at a women’s rights org and we’d make jokes about getting our periods at the same time…it was funny until we realized that we ACTUALLY DID.

      • Andrea

        Yeah not so funny anymore huh? LMAO. I felt bad for my father when my sister, my mother and I synced. Poor man grew up only child and only male cousins. He had no idea what hit him!

      • Kaili

        Me and you – Mom twinsies. She seemed annoyed at me. She also mortified me every morning by screaming “Did you wash?” When I said eye, she would barrel in to my room and tell me if I didn’t how gross that was. Like I wasn’t upset enough that I now get to bleed for a week every month for 40 years. When my dad came home it was awkward because she sounded accustatory. Maybe in retrospect she was pissed I was growing up? I had to sneak tampon usage. Ugh memories.

      • Andrea

        My mother was equally moronic with the tampons. She would not get me any because she thought they would take my virginity. *eye roll*

      • Valerie

        Same here! Because a 1/2 inch wide cotton wad is almost exactly like fitting a human wang up there.

      • neighbor57

        At least your mom talked with you. Mine never explained anything. Pads and tampons were trial and error. Error in that area in middle school — humiliation! Years later I asked why she hadn’t had “that talk” with me. She assumed my sister would have told me everything. Hah!

      • Kaili

        Ha. That’s horrible. Although she did talk to me, I still had the experience of using tampons with the cardboard applicator still on. I couldn’t figure out why there were two pieces of cardboard. I also couldn’t figure out why they hurt so much and leaked so bad. When I tried a plastic applicator then it made sense.

      • JustAGuest

        My mom finally let me get my ears pierced when my period came. It was a nice thing. Of course, she was also out of the country at the time, so I got to explain over the phone transatlantically in front of my Dad what had happened. It was “Oh, btw, I got my period, here’s Dad!” (To his credit, he was a total star when I got it and didn’t make a fuss or anything – it was just having to *talk* about it that was embarrassing.)

      • AnastasiaMcNally

        My granny threw me a party and invited several of her friends, and quite a few of mine… I’m so glad you recognise it is not a nice thing! 11 years later she still has no idea why I hated it so much.

      • guest

        LOL! That’s actually kind of hilarious!!

    • Valerie

      I keep going back to #8…it looks like beef stew thrown up into a cake hole. What in the frick?

      • Valerie

        I’m featured?! How exciting. And I’m exceedingly proud that it’s a quote having to do with poo.

    • Jessifer

      Is this shit for real (no pun intended)? Whatever happened to yelling out “Yay, you did it” and giving your kid a high-five, or is that not enough for these parents nowadays?

    • Momma425

      We get parties for using the potty? Do we get a cake every time we use the potty, or how does this work? I’m genuinely interested because I have been using the potty for years and never got a poop cake.
      On a side note- I am bringing poo cookies to work. Just because.

      • Momma425

        Okay, I keep looking at #7 and 8…
        #7- is that candy, or an actual poop on top of the cake? I am bothered.
        #8- I don’t even know what we are celebrating! Whose poop even looks like that? That looks less like a potty time celebration, and more like celebration of baby’s first diarrhea. Eew.

    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

      I thought chocolate baby shit in a diaper at baby showers were the lowest you could go. This isn’t worse, but it’s a lateral move. No dice.

      • Repulsed

        Agree. I have always been repulsed by that nasty diaper game at baby showers.

      • Alicia

        I hate that game!

    • Kelly

      I’m cool with number three because there’s no poop, toilet or chocolate frosting to make me think of poop.

      I’m down with just about any excuse for cake as long as it doesn’t remind me too much of pooping. Poop thoughts are the natural enemy of cake.

    • Kelly

      I admit I’d eat the poop cookies in #10.

    • Crusty Socks

      We did the baby delivery cakes before right? Now it’s the potty training cakes. Suggestions for the next cakes:

      1. Circumcision Cakes
      2. First tooth falling out Cakes
      3. Puberty Cakes

      • Valerie

        Oooo the puberty cakes could have sprinkles made to look like zits.

    • Ife

      Wait, so does this mean that there are people out there who think that their kids learning how not to shit their pants is a cake-and-party worthy event? Like, one that other people would want to attend? That…sure is something.

    • Jillian

      Dear lord I hope I never get to a point in my life where a poopy theme cake for toddler, scratch that, a poop theme cake for anyone! seems like a fantastic idea. If I ever do please knock me the hell out until I come back to sanity.

    • SNOWSCAS81

      #7 and #8–I almost threw up in my mouth. It’s like Fright Fest all over again. *cries in corner.*

    • Dixie

      No, just NO!

    • brebay

      I know you have to get paid, but seriously, EVERY SINGLE PICTURE?

    • brebay

      Do we not see a connection between the over-celebration of bodily functions and the need of young moms to be rewarded for walking while pregnant, giving birth, feeding and diapering their children? This is what you create when you throw a freaking parade for taking a crap, an adult who needs praise for every damn normal thing their body does.

    • neighbor57

      I coulda had cake! Man, I trained two kids to pee & poop in the pot, and I NEVER GOT CAKE!