As I have entered my late twenties and now early thirties, I’m in the perfect age bracket to observe all of my friends having kids. Left and right, friends are popping out babies one after another. I feel like I’m in good company because at least we’re all focused on the annoying cuteness of our offspring on the Facebook newsfeed.
But I’ve noticed one interesting thing, especially among my female friends. Many of my once cool girlfriends that I used to pound back shots with in my early twenties have now started referring to themselves in third person. And not the cool kind of third person either—a la The Jimmy on Seinfeld. This is the “mommy” third person, and I can’t keep all of my new mommy friends straight.
I get that becoming a mother is a wonderful thing. Many women wait a very long time to do so and may even have difficulty getting pregnant. I have seen a few friends experience that firsthand. But as soon as some women become a mother, their first name, interests, and even personality changes completely.
Maybe I’m thinking way too far in the future, but I don’t want to have a rude awakening when I have to stop being “mommy” when my kid gets sick of hanging out with me in middle school. And I don’t want to feel like my life has ended when my kids move out of the house to go to college—even though I am not looking forward to that day whatsoever.
Being a mom is a great thing, and I’m sure we’re all enjoying ourselves, at least a little bit. But in order for me to remember who my friends are, I’m going to need them to start using their given names again. Maybe “mommy” is tired and has had a long day, but please save the elaborate third person descriptions for Elmo and WWF wrestlers.